Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

All discussions

Start a discussion

redgirl-blackdog daughter moved back home , not going well
  • replies: 4

I just really need to vent.I'm in constant pain & although I love my daughter I'm sick & tired of her s#!+ My 19yo daughter moved out after an argument in March &stomped off to her fathers. After yet another argument with him about keeping her room t... View more

I just really need to vent.I'm in constant pain & although I love my daughter I'm sick & tired of her s#!+ My 19yo daughter moved out after an argument in March &stomped off to her fathers. After yet another argument with him about keeping her room tidy, she rang & asked if she could come home, of course I said yes. I told her she need to be respectful & things had to change. Well she has been home 3 months, most of the time her new boyfriend has been staying o/n (facebook knew about him before I did) & I asked her to act like an adult if she wants to be treated like one. Even tho I've asked, pleaded, yelled & begged nothing has changed, she has reluctantly given me $20 but that's it, no help with chores or housework, not even washing the dishes in the whole 3 months. They both know jobs like mowing are extremely hard for me yet they just close the door to shut out the noise when I ask for help. She is now unemployed after quitting her chefs apprenticeship 3 weeks ago. They have had 3 takeaway meals this w/e alone & gone out for a meal & not asked me if I wanted anything. Her room is a pigsty with clothes & food scraps/wrappers everywhere, my sister tells me this is normal for teenagers (it wasn't for us) When I try to talk with her about her behaviour & what is expected she just starts tapping on her ph or says yeah I know & gets up & leaves in her car. She swears & carries on in front of my younger kids even when asked not to. The absolute worst was Friday morning when she knew her elderly grandmother was coming in 10 mins to do the school drop off with me, that she couldn't wait because she "needed" to meet a friend at the shops. My mum is dying from COPD but still comes to visit her because she won't drive 25 mins to see her Nan. I'm so sore from my neck/arm problem & depressed, disillusioned & overwhelmed with life and I've got 10yo twins to look after as well. And the dog she promised she'd look after. Sorry for the rant, I'm just exhausted, mind and body...

Safeasmilk Hurting from the unknown
  • replies: 40

Hi everyone, My name is Ben and this is my first post. I'm looking for some advice/support. I had met someone a couple of years back and we have been staying in contact via Skype. I'm not quite sure how I'd label our relationship but I have strong fe... View more

Hi everyone, My name is Ben and this is my first post. I'm looking for some advice/support. I had met someone a couple of years back and we have been staying in contact via Skype. I'm not quite sure how I'd label our relationship but I have strong feelings for her but unfortunately our distance makes it hard for anything to develop at the moment. Therefore I use exercise and working towards buying my first house as a way to keep my mind focused and to not delve into living in a fantasy world. A few weeks ago I lost complete contact with her and not sure if she has deleted me or there is a technical issue with Skype (as I have read that this has happened before) I have tried to get in contact with her but to no avail. I don't want to come across as needy or being a nuisance but the unknown thoughts are hurting me deeply as I am so confused and scared I may never have contact with her again. Just for some background on me I have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and panic a lot when things are not working. At the moment I don't feel like doing anything other then crawling up and laying in bed or turning to alcohol to help me be happy and not worry so much. I hope this isn't stupid but I do care for this person very much and it feels like this situation has taken over my life. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Ben

NarcolepticMonkey I had an emotional affair, now I have to fix it
  • replies: 3

Ok, here goes, married for 9yrs, together for 12, and basically I had an emotional affair with another woman. Its also a complicated situation. I work at the school my kids attend, and she is a mum of one of my kids friends. Ive cut all ties to her, ... View more

Ok, here goes, married for 9yrs, together for 12, and basically I had an emotional affair with another woman. Its also a complicated situation. I work at the school my kids attend, and she is a mum of one of my kids friends. Ive cut all ties to her, going to marriage counselling, seeing my psych more often, told my boss (he's been supportive in helping me), but I lied about it to my wife. I've since come clean but now she won't believe a word I say, I offer my phone for her to check, I try and talk to her, but I find myself getting frustrated when I know I need to support her. i feel stuck, and that my good intentions are constantly backfiring.

MummaBear61 Lonely
  • replies: 5

Hi guys are there any people out there that are lonely like me. . I am not look for a relationship just friends. Anyone got any advice. I have only have a couple of friends and there always too busy too talk. Please help me with any information i wou... View more

Hi guys are there any people out there that are lonely like me. . I am not look for a relationship just friends. Anyone got any advice. I have only have a couple of friends and there always too busy too talk. Please help me with any information i would really appreciate some. I am hanging on by a thread here.

Tinalea20 My 14yr old daughter has gone wild
  • replies: 11

I need advice. She goes out and tells me she will be home before dark, but comes home when ever. I get mad and remind her she is 14. She yells and tells me she missed the bus. ( all the time). I ground her. She is boy mad. I didn't bring her up like ... View more

I need advice. She goes out and tells me she will be home before dark, but comes home when ever. I get mad and remind her she is 14. She yells and tells me she missed the bus. ( all the time). I ground her. She is boy mad. I didn't bring her up like that. She comes home with love bites on her neck. I tell her they make her look cheap. She asks if a MATE can come over to hang out. She tells me he is 16 but later find out he is 19. We have a fight. She uses colourful words. Goes right off. And now refuses to go to school. That's just a little insight to what's going on in my life.

Touille Making sense of life and love!
  • replies: 7

Hi, I'm New on this site. I have already read some interesting articles of individuals suffering which moved me. I would like to share some of my story and also provide encouragment to help others avoid or cope with the same issues as I experienced. ... View more

Hi, I'm New on this site. I have already read some interesting articles of individuals suffering which moved me. I would like to share some of my story and also provide encouragment to help others avoid or cope with the same issues as I experienced. It was my first experience with my first love, it's been a year now since our break up after 18 months and I still miss her. Anyway looking back I noticed lots of warning signs of immaturity from this girl and my instinct told me, stay away, anyway my heart got involved and we fell in love. By the way, I'm 35 and live in Perth. Due to the girl living in Canada where I spent two years it became to difficult to maintain a relationship. My girl said she really wanted to continue the relationship so after returning to Australia, I worked and than returned to Canada, only to find my girlfriend didn't want to continue the relationship because of trivial reasons. So I returned to Australia and felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown, so much pain and counseling didn't help much. A year in the future and I'm still finding hard to cope, especially with no job, friends moved away and a emotional wreck. I don't trust many people at the moment. If you have any advice on how I can move on in a positive way, please reply. So please, if your gut tells you something isn't right, listen and run, it saves so much pain. There are many good people out there who want a healthy, living, committed relationship. Now, I'm studying to be a Community Support Worker and taking each day as it comes. Life does go on. Thanks for reading. Any advice would be appreciated.

Soozette UPDATED: Need help on dealing with very anxious 9-year-old
  • replies: 9

Hi, I'm new to this forum so apologies if this has already been discussed elsewhere. I just wanted to hear from other parents who are dealing with an anxious son/daughter. My son is nine years old and has been suffering from anxiety on and off since ... View more

Hi, I'm new to this forum so apologies if this has already been discussed elsewhere. I just wanted to hear from other parents who are dealing with an anxious son/daughter. My son is nine years old and has been suffering from anxiety on and off since he was about four years old. It started to get worse late last year, at age 8, after we'd had a couple of good years. Then we started to see a positive change at the beginning of this year, only for it to rear its ugly head again a couple of months ago. He's the worst he's ever been at the moment, refusing to go to school at least 2-3 times a week, having panic attacks, feeling physically sick in his stomach (his most obvious symptom) etc. We're dealing with severe separation anxiety, generalised anxiety and a phobia of vomiting. We've just started seeing a psychologist again - the previous two didn't make much of a difference - and he seems like a good one, but I think this is going to be a very slow process and I need some advice on how to cope in the meantime. It's having a profound affect on the whole family - my husband is missing days at work, as am I, and my daughter (aged 7) is constantly being exposed to my son's outbursts (crying, anger etc). I feel flat and helpless a lot of the time, just wishing for life to be the way it was when anxiety wasn't ruling it. It's like we're on an emotional rollercoaster and it's really wearing us all down. I feel so sad for my son and wish more than anything I could make this go away, but at the same time I am finding myself getting frustrated and angry with him, which I know is so wrong. I guess I just want to hear from anyone else that has been through the same, or is going through this now, and see if there's anything that's helped get you, and your child, through. Any tips/ advice would be most welcome and appreciated. It's hard to talk to friends who haven't been through this as I don't think people understand unless they've experienced anxiety themselves or with someone they're close to. Thank you!

oldmate322 Separating needs from anxieties in relationship
  • replies: 4

I am 28 and a 2nd time poster. I currently experience moderate GAD, I am seeking treatment and an on medication but I feel I could improve by posting on this forum. my problem is that I have just started a new relationship and I am constantly stressi... View more

I am 28 and a 2nd time poster. I currently experience moderate GAD, I am seeking treatment and an on medication but I feel I could improve by posting on this forum. my problem is that I have just started a new relationship and I am constantly stressing out over it. I tend to overthink and overreacte to the smallest of things, and tend to work myself into depressive panics. I'm trying to figure out where my genuine feelings and needs end, and my anxieties commence. My girlfriend is supportive and we do discuss things, however I feel like I'm becoming less tolerable to be around lately. Some of it has to deal with the stress she's been under lately, for which I feel I've copped some blowback (unintentionally but still). It's a new relationship and recently I've been asked to pull back because I've gone so intense and it's hard for her to adjust. I know she's going through things but I need to know how to handle these panicked thoughts and feelings I get. Sometimes I worry she wants to leave me, or that I'm not mature enough for her, and these influence my thoughts around comments made to me in person/text etc. I can look at it objectively but when I'm in the moment, or stressed out because of work I tend to overreact and panic. I want to genuinely figure out my feelings for this girl, but I'm worried that if this relationship ends it won't be because we are not suited to each other, but because I have allowed my anxiety to ruin it.

SweetMan Relationship troubles- switching girl
  • replies: 4

Hey all, I've got to know a girl for a while. Then she started dating someone else. We still caught up as friends. She is now single and we have been on a date and spent a few perfect days together and talk about being together and dating and going o... View more

Hey all, I've got to know a girl for a while. Then she started dating someone else. We still caught up as friends. She is now single and we have been on a date and spent a few perfect days together and talk about being together and dating and going on a second date. Recently she has come out and admitted she has 2 personalities and her psychologist doesn't know about the two. Also she said she has anxiety, depression, schizophrenia and a few other problems. She also said I'm the first to ever notice her two personalities and that it effects to our relationship. It's never effected her relationships before. Her true/real personality that loves me, only wants to be with me and finds me the most sweet handsome man. Plus she talks about never wanting to give me up or loose me. The other one she pushes me away, doesn't want to talk and she goes out having sex with multiple guys. We spent the morning together for a bit as she was sick and she told me I looked after her so well right down to the little details. She told me I'm one of a kind and never wants to loose me. Tonight she has switched and become very distant. She didn't even acknowledge when I said today was so perfect getting to look after her and it made me feel so special inside. Even thlugh earluer she couldn't stop saying how perfect it was. She ignores some of my questions and seems very distant. I love her very much and want to be with her and when she is not switching she wants the same. She has told me this face to face and in texts. What can I do in these times where she switches and what can I do to support her without pushing her away? How do I cope with this as well? It's a challenge I want to take on because I love her to pieces. Not because I want to help her but because I love her very deeply like she does with me. Has anyone else experienced this, is a person who switches and where can I get professional help on this so I can help and support her in the good and hard times?

Mushroom1up Advice/tips on breaking up and my communication struggles
  • replies: 7

My relationship has terrible communication on both sides but I think I really struggle to open up. I have been unhappy in my relationship for multiple reasons and I need to talk to partner about it but I just can't. I have been putting it off for age... View more

My relationship has terrible communication on both sides but I think I really struggle to open up. I have been unhappy in my relationship for multiple reasons and I need to talk to partner about it but I just can't. I have been putting it off for ages. I think because I hate confrontation and because I am dreading the consequences of ruining the relationship and our lives. I know couple counselling is an option but I think i am past trying to save the relationship. Everything from the years that I have let go is now piling up. The thing is he thinks everything is amazing and he is so happy and I am feeling miserable and he doesn't realise. it's so confusing that he is so oblivious to how I feel. I don't have anyone close to me I can talk to about how I am feeling. No best friend and I feeling l like my mum and sisters would judge me and say I told you so. We have been together for nearly 6 years. 2 months ago we bought a house and got engaged. I am in so deep and I don't know what the f I am doing. The day after he proposed my grandma passed away. This really messed me up I think because I was meant to be happy but I was so sad. I had to go to work and smile about the engagement news while few people knew my grandma had passed. That was really hard. And I kind of wish I didn't have to do that. I feel like I may need to see a psychologist or counseller but I have been procrastinating about going to the doc to get advice on what I need. I feel silly asking for a mental health care plan because nothing bad or traumatising has happened to me but I feel like I need some kind of life advice on how to communicate and feel self confident. Do people do that? Also I have been thinking about how I would talk to him... when he gets home after work I would say everything then give us a week of space. I don't have any friends or family in this city so I need to get a motel or air BnB which is another stressor for me. After the week I guess I would have to move into a separate room in our house til I can find some where to rent. We have 2 dogs as well, I don't want to split them up but I know I couldn't bear to leave my dog. I cried in the car on the way to work today. This happens a few times a week. its getting to the point where I just want to run away but I know I can't do that, its just ridiculous. I am just in a panic and need to vent and maybe need some opinions or tips from people who have been in a similar situation or tips that can help me communicate.