Relationship and family issues

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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
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Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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TheItaliansWife I am new, please be gentle..... and sorry for the long vent
  • replies: 11

Hi there, i am not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I am having somewhat of a clear moment so please forgive the word vomit. over the past 3 years my life has been imploding, at first organising my wedding, then having my wedding hij... View more

Hi there, i am not sure if this is the right place to post this, but I am having somewhat of a clear moment so please forgive the word vomit. over the past 3 years my life has been imploding, at first organising my wedding, then having my wedding hijacked by the mother and sister inlaw, then my marriage and workplace took a sharp decent at the same time. I wasn't allowed to have input on my own wedding, it still classes as my most horrible day, I love the man I married but I felt it was his families day not "our day" since then my MIL and SIL have gone out of their way to cause hurt. Everything from publicly saying I have genetic disorders, my family is violent (all untrue) to encouraging my 6 year old nephew to say sexist things to me. My husband has over the past 2 years developed anger management issues, and my employer encourages my coworkers to undermine and belittle me. It all came to a horrible head 3 weeks ago when my SIL abused me ver the phone, I had called her and extended an olive branch, she called me a humiliation upon her family, and an abomination on the earth, as well as abusive names and personal attacks and she says everyone hates me (I'm paraphrasing, happy to direct quote but it was lengthy) my husband has informed me, I am to blame. I know I have chronic health issues that are painful and made worse with stress (but not genetic) and now on reflexion, I feel I probably have an anxiety disorder. I find myself lightheaded and breathless multiple times a day. Overnight I became a clean freak, but now I can't stand to sit at a table unless all the items on the table are lined up millimetre perfect. Failure to drink 4 litres of water a day and chew each piece of food 40 times feel potentially fatal. And I'm finding myself staring into space contemplating no longer existing each night. i grew up believing if I was a good person who tried to help wherever I could then I would be of value, but now I am left feeling the world would be better if I stepped back out of it. I have tried reasoning, negotiating even bargaining with my husband for his kindness, he claims I ruin everything and yells at me each night when I return from work. I just want my husband to treat me the same way as he did when we were dating, the more this goes on the less hopeful I am that he will. he is now refusing marriage counciling, he calls it "airing dirty laundry" i feel I have been chipped away and there is not much left, weak, hollow, fragile. . Hop

Only_me Struggling and sad
  • replies: 1

Have been with my husband 21 yrs, married 4 yrs. He started his own transport business approx 4yrs ago. Have 2 girls together 18 & 19. Have fully supported him as a family but in 2007 he left us for another women,turned our world upside down. We mana... View more

Have been with my husband 21 yrs, married 4 yrs. He started his own transport business approx 4yrs ago. Have 2 girls together 18 & 19. Have fully supported him as a family but in 2007 he left us for another women,turned our world upside down. We managed to put that behind us but over the years he has left us, seems to be when life gets to hard, instead of talking he shuts off especially to me. Over the last 6 to 12 months alot of arguing. Im arguing because he is on the road and it is soooo lonely and depressing. Kids are old enough to do there own thing. We had a big blow up and i was going to move out but he told me to stay and we were doing so well reconncting and it all seemed fine. We went to a party and a women who is a married swinger was sitting on my husbands knee which i stayed calm, i only asked whats the go? Well when we got home he just yelled and told me to get out. Im waiting on a house but he has just shut down. He has had money troubles but im so sad and lost, am i fighting a lost cause. Its the worst feeling, i feel like im abondoning my family but i have put up with so much over 20 yrs but i have never given up on him. I know i need to go for my own health but really struggling.

Billy2 Wife wants to seperate for no apparent reason
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Married for 19years. 2 x teenage girls. Wife has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer but will be okay. She has become more and morewithdrawn. I confronted her last week and asked her if she still loves me. She said yes. I askes are you in love... View more

Married for 19years. 2 x teenage girls. Wife has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer but will be okay. She has become more and morewithdrawn. I confronted her last week and asked her if she still loves me. She said yes. I askes are you in love with me. She said she doesnt know. Since then she has admitted thinking about separation and moving out. She is currently sleeping in spare room. I am extremely angry. She says its because when she is away with family or friends she feels a better person and more herself. We havent been fighting. I treat herexceptionally well. I do most things around the house. Her reason just sounds like crap to me. She has become very secretive which i think was because she has been thinking about this for some time ans talking to friends about her decision. She now seems relieved and is going on like eveythings ok and im losing my mind. I cant eat. I cant sleep. I am really anxious around her. Im paranoid there is someone else. I have tried to talk to her but she doesnt seem to want to make it work. I think she has made her decision and i have to except it.

mezzaduck97 The End of a Relationship: How Do I Cope?
  • replies: 11

Hi everyone. This is a first for me, so thank you for taking the time to read this x My boyfriend of 9 months broke up with me 2 weeks ago in a really cruel way and it is really affecting. I moved back to uni about 5 weeks ago, after having seen him ... View more

Hi everyone. This is a first for me, so thank you for taking the time to read this x My boyfriend of 9 months broke up with me 2 weeks ago in a really cruel way and it is really affecting. I moved back to uni about 5 weeks ago, after having seen him that weekend. Everything was fine and we were so happy. Then he started working more and talking to me less, which was understandable. Then he just cut off all contact with me. Ignored all my calls and messages. I was so worried that maybe I had done something wrong, or that something bad might have happened to him. So after 3 weeks of no communication, he sends me a message saying he is no longer 100% committed to me anymore and never wanted a relationship with me. I was heartbroken. I made him call me so we could talk about it, and we both cried. He said he was sorry and that he didn't want to cut me out of his life. I was way too upset to say anything, so he promised we would meet up at the end of the week when I came back home for holidays. After that he never spoke to me again. Unlike his word, he had completely cut me out of his life. I am so heartbroken and I have never felt this way in all my life. I am so hopelessly in love with him and am unable to comprehend what happened between us. I have no closure which makes everything worse. My personal life is also suffering. I haven't slept properly in weeks, my mind racing about him whenever I close my eyes. I can;t stand being in large groups of people now, and I don't to spend time with friends, but at the same time I don't want to be alone. I think about him every second of the day, and I feel numb to the rest of my life. I have cried more in the last couple weeks than I have since I was an infant. So what I want to know is how do I move on? How can I stop myself sinking into this deep dark hole of sadness all the time? I am concerned that this may affect my relationships and schooling. Please help if you can x

kdr country couple
  • replies: 6

Hi everyone. I am new to this. My wife and I have moved from the country to Perth and are finding it hard to make friends. But aside from that, I am in a darts team and have my work to keep me busy. My wife is my main concern. She is very quiet and s... View more

Hi everyone. I am new to this. My wife and I have moved from the country to Perth and are finding it hard to make friends. But aside from that, I am in a darts team and have my work to keep me busy. My wife is my main concern. She is very quiet and suffers from depression and anxiety. All I want in life is for her to have a female buddy or 2. We live in the Swan Valley area. any ideas? Any other lonely females in the area. Trying to google lonely brings up dating and singles websites. Nothing for simply lonely people. We are in our 50's, healthy and friendly.

Kates17 Hi, this is my first post! Newbie!
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Hi! im not really sure where to start my story. I was in a relationship for a few years, and although it seemed happy from the outsiders looking in I was very unhappy and my ex was very controlling and emotionally abusive (even if he didn't think so)... View more

Hi! im not really sure where to start my story. I was in a relationship for a few years, and although it seemed happy from the outsiders looking in I was very unhappy and my ex was very controlling and emotionally abusive (even if he didn't think so). It was very hard to remove myself from that relationship but when I did he seemed to be ok with it... until I met someone else. And then i went through I rough time with constant harassment via mobile, ringing me all day and leaving voicemails. Sending threats to my new partner, posting nasty things about me on social media and then even sending explicit photos of myself to his mates and my new partner. I reported all of this to the police, although he then forced his way into my home, and threatened my life and my daughters. Once I was given an intervention order I stopped hearing from him. I was happy that it was over, although it wasn't really. I get scared being at home alone, I worry I will run into him in public, I panic every time my phone rings. And I sit up at night crying. I think maybe it affected me more than I first thought. its hard to talk to friends and family about this as I feel embarrassed and feel I am over reacting. any advice or support is greatly appreciated! Thank you!

JKBXGF My boyfriend is pushing me away- what can I do??
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So I'm new here- but have seen some posts online and it seems really helpful. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now. We've had a great relationship- despite a few ups and downs. He has been open since the beginning with the fact... View more

So I'm new here- but have seen some posts online and it seems really helpful. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year now. We've had a great relationship- despite a few ups and downs. He has been open since the beginning with the fact he suffers from depression and anxiety. I've grown up with family members who've also had depression, so I think I do ok with handling this and talking to him. A while ago he realised that things were getting bad again and he decided it was best for him to go back on medication. it was really hard to see him like that but I wanted to support him and get thru it all. As an athlete he is always pretty tired and exhausted so it makes it sometimes hard to tell what's going on. Recently tho he has suffered an injury which has made him unable to do anything too physical- which means no training. That alone was heartbreaking for him and since then I feel it's only got worse. Spending so much time at home alone and not being able to be active he's been getting more depressed. He's not sleeping right or eating well. The medication he's been on has also had an impact on our personal life and affected his libido. Hes been wanting to be alone and secluding himself a lot, which as resulted in him pushing me away. He has messaged me and told me he's not happy and wants to be alone- isn't happy in a relationship. I just don't know what to do- because he says he does love me (still) and we have talked about marriage and a future together. I really feel like it's the depression talking and not what he really wants. I know he's not himself right now and I feel like letting him push me away is the wrong thing to do. But also don't want to make him feel pressured by being around and like I'm forcing him into something he doesn't feel like he wants right now? i feel like he's doing this because he knows he's hurt me- like he's doing the right thing by me by taking himself out of the picture. That's the kind of person he is- I feel like he feels like he's a burden on me. I worry that he's throwing our relationship away- and that he's going to throw his career away too. I want to be there for him and help him but I don't know how or what to do right now. His medication clearly just isn't helping. How do I be there and support him and show him I love him and I'm not going anywhere when he is trying to push me away and break up with me?? Many suggestions or experiences with something like this would be really helpful.

Recoverywoman Maybe relationship therapy was a mistake and made things worse?
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Hi Everyone, I am seeing a therapist about friendship issues. I wanted a relationship but he wanted to be friends. Sometimes I feel like he's not being true and I can tell that he's hurting too for the way he is acting after going no contact. The the... View more

Hi Everyone, I am seeing a therapist about friendship issues. I wanted a relationship but he wanted to be friends. Sometimes I feel like he's not being true and I can tell that he's hurting too for the way he is acting after going no contact. The therapist said we are not right for each other. I went along with the advice at first but now my heart is pointing back to him. Am I in denial? I miss him so much

tux43 I've had enough
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I'm not sure what to do. My wife expects me to constantly work, look after the kids and she spends all the time socialising with friends. I love my kids so much and value the time spent with them and all she can do is whinge. She took my son shopping... View more

I'm not sure what to do. My wife expects me to constantly work, look after the kids and she spends all the time socialising with friends. I love my kids so much and value the time spent with them and all she can do is whinge. She took my son shopping tonight, which would be something I would cherish. The first thing she did was complain when she came in the door. We have an ok relationship but I can't handle that everything is negative. Our son is 15, headstrong and fairly independent hence will have about 5 more years with us before he leaves. Why can't she see we will never get this time again. I've had enough of working for nothing and negativity ruling life. I'm at my wits end!!

PBelle Friends forever?
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So I would like to ask my fellow anxiety sufferers for some advice. I have a long time friend and used to chat everyday. This year, he went through some stuff and needed privacy, but me and my anxiety took over and I constantly asked him if he was ok... View more

So I would like to ask my fellow anxiety sufferers for some advice. I have a long time friend and used to chat everyday. This year, he went through some stuff and needed privacy, but me and my anxiety took over and I constantly asked him if he was ok and to contact me just to let me know that he was ok. This went on for months cause I was so worried. He never responded, but I kept going cause I was so stubborn, thinking that he would finally tell me. I joined Facebook and sent him a friend request and he declined. That was when it hit me that he didn't want to talk to me. I started no contact and went a couple of weeks before contacting him. Then a month. Still nothing. This friendship is worth fighting for, so I'm not giving up. I'm trying 3 weeks and are at day 5. I'm planning to call him and do small talk, not mentioning asking for forgiveness cause i have so many times. Any advice? This person means so much to me and I have always confided my troubles to him. So he knows I had issues, but have I gone to far this time? Can I fix the friendship with time and patience?