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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Rae_Rae A little bit lost
  • replies: 2

Hi, I've only just signed up so please forgive me if I do this wrong. I don't ever post things on the internet but I feel I'm left with no option. I'm writing this because I'm not sure what else I can do. I've seen doctors and specialists, physiologi... View more

Hi, I've only just signed up so please forgive me if I do this wrong. I don't ever post things on the internet but I feel I'm left with no option. I'm writing this because I'm not sure what else I can do. I've seen doctors and specialists, physiologists and psychiatrists. I'm a very very happy person. I enjoy hard work and a challenge. I have an 8 month old son who is happy and health. A husband who is great. At the end of the day I just cry and cry. There is an overwhelming sense of despair I can't shake. I've have had severe metal issues in the past but I have never felt like this. it's killing us as a family and my relationship with my partner? What can I do?

Ant71 I s it Lack of sex that's bringing me down
  • replies: 1

Hi like a few of the posts on here I have a marriage that has a low sex drive. We have been together for 29 years and when we do make love it is still great but it is not as frequent as either of us would like. We cannot get our libidos to line up I ... View more

Hi like a few of the posts on here I have a marriage that has a low sex drive. We have been together for 29 years and when we do make love it is still great but it is not as frequent as either of us would like. We cannot get our libidos to line up I love my wife very much still and I know she love me to. I do shift work and I find it turns out that she will be in the mood and I fall asleep not knowing only to find out the next day that she is frustrated. Other times I will be all over her only to find out the moment is gone. This can end up going on for months and ends up with us both pulling our hair out. We have tried some things to help but things just don't seem to work out. We have tried to schedule it but we both hate that way to organised and not in the moment. Neither of us are into the date night thing again to organised. We have done the sexting thing and that worked for a while but now we find that by time we go to bed the moment is gone. I have got to the point where it is affecting my moods and I find myself more depressed than normal. I guess I wanted to know if anyone else has had something like this and what they found worked. I would particularly be interested to find out if any of the ladies have any suggestions as a woman's perspective would be great thanks

MR_2 Seperated Wife
  • replies: 6

Hi, I'm just trying to figure out if I've done the right thing. I have been married almost 20yrs & have 2 children. Events in my husbands life have recently come to a head with devastating consequences for him. His child hood was not a happy one & he... View more

Hi, I'm just trying to figure out if I've done the right thing. I have been married almost 20yrs & have 2 children. Events in my husbands life have recently come to a head with devastating consequences for him. His child hood was not a happy one & he has always struggled but recently things came to light that resulted in his pastor father being convicted of indecent assault of his sister ( a fraction of the truth ). Although not sexually my husband & all of his siblings also suffered greatly at the hand of this man. This has been an extremely difficult time & an unhealthy lifestyle has finally succumbed to what I believe may be depression. We have recently seperated due to his instability & unpredictability. He is seeking help & has his 1st appointment next week. He came to the house tonight to see & hug our children he was visibly distressed although trying to hide it from the children they noticed & my eldest 13 asked did I know if dad was OK. To be honest I have not been so relaxed, calm & at peace since we seperated but seeing him tonight made me feel extremely bad. I worry I've deserted him in his darkest hour & I'm not sure how to handle things. I love him but I'm not sure I'm still in love with him. I want to reach out to him but I don't want to give mixed messages. I need some time & I'm hoping in that time he will be proactive & get the help he needs & maybe hopefully my feelings will return. He was never going to move forward & seek the help he needs & that I can't give him while we were still together & I was managing everything but at the same time this feels so cruel. Is there anyone else out there with a similar story & some encouraging words.

Elle27 Recently broke up and just looking to talk with people who understand and may have had a similar experience
  • replies: 2

My boyfriend and I recently broke up. It was kind of mutual in the end but that doesn't mean it hurts any less. We were together for a bit over 4 years and in those 4 years we only ever lived in the same area for 6 months. He moved around for work ev... View more

My boyfriend and I recently broke up. It was kind of mutual in the end but that doesn't mean it hurts any less. We were together for a bit over 4 years and in those 4 years we only ever lived in the same area for 6 months. He moved around for work every 6 months and lived as far as 4 hours away from me at times. So our relationship was different to everyone else around me as we only ever got to see each other on weekends because we both worked Mon-Fri. He quickly became my priority over friends and sometimes family. My weekends would always be all about him because if I didn't see him, it would be a whole week until I saw him again. My family were very understanding of this and it was never a problem for them. However my friends didn't quite understand and started drifting away. I have generalised anxiety and social anxiety and he was always so understanding when it came to both. He was my person that I told everything to. I could see that my anxiety would frustrate him at times but he never made an issue about it. He would have to ask me multiple times to go do something new together or go meet people I didn't know before I eventually agreed to it. So fast forward to the weekend we broke up. I had a massive unexplained anxiety attack on the Saturday night and I saw the pain in his eyes as he watched me go through it. It made me feel bad and I apologised a lot. He told me how much he loved me and said there was no need to apologise. The next day I just kept crying and was really unhappy. Once again I saw the pain in his eyes. He told me that he thought that he was part of the reason behind my unhappiness because of the nature of our relationship. After 4 years together you start to think about moving in together, eventually getting married and having kids in the future. We'd had a conversation 2 years before and he stated that he never wants to get married or have kids. We stayed together and I stupidly assumed that he had changed his mind. All of his friends are at the age where they're getting married and starting to have kids. We decided that it was for the best that we break up. He told me that it wasn't fair on me to keep stringing me along when he doesn't think he'll ever change his mind. I told him that I couldn't go back to just being friends with him as that would hurt too much. We don't hate each other and I'm not angry at him. I just feel empty. I don't know what to do with myself. I just feel really lonely all the time. Can anyone help me?

Likeadream Confused
  • replies: 6

Hi, I met a guy, we spent 4 weeks together and it was amazing. We weren't going to pursue a relationship because he was moving back to his home state. 6 weeks after he left I found out I was pregnant. I moved to his home state to be with him when our... View more

Hi, I met a guy, we spent 4 weeks together and it was amazing. We weren't going to pursue a relationship because he was moving back to his home state. 6 weeks after he left I found out I was pregnant. I moved to his home state to be with him when our baby was 6 weeks old. We have now been together 6 .5 years. 3 years ago we moved back to my home state and we bought a house. I had literally been in the house 1 week (he is fifo) and he told me that he didn't love me anymore. We eventually worked things out because I didn't want to throw away our relationship. A year later he proposed and we have been happy (I think). He wants to move back to his home state next year as all his friends and family are there (I don't really have any family) I feel confused because lately I have been thinking that we are not right for each other..he isn't affectionate..or loving..he is a wonderful dad and an excellent provider (I work full time also so not just a one income family) I don't want to break up my family but my heart is hurting. It hurts when I think about our son..I don't want to hurt him. I'm just really confused as to what to do...do I break it off with him to be happy or do I stay and try and get back to being a happy family. My son is and will always be my number priority in all of this!

MezMerrit Is Empty-Nest Syndrome a real thing?
  • replies: 8

I can't decide if I drove my kids away by wanting/trying to remain a part of their adult lives or if there's bigger issues I'm unable to process that makes them avoid me. I have tried my hardest, but I don't get along with my daughter's partner or hi... View more

I can't decide if I drove my kids away by wanting/trying to remain a part of their adult lives or if there's bigger issues I'm unable to process that makes them avoid me. I have tried my hardest, but I don't get along with my daughter's partner or his family (which is where she lives, she is 26yo). Things have gotten so messy I can't even drop in for a visit without the threat of the Police being called - not because I'm unstable or anything but because THAT's just how much they don't want me around. Meanwhile, I'm paying one of her bills to help her out. It has been 2 yrs since I last saw her or my grand children. My son (28yo) has been moving in and out of home since he was a teen. During his last 2 stays he battled me at every turn about helping to pay for groceries and bills etc eventually moving out again because, apparently, I 'drive him nuts'. I know he's homeless again and most likely needs my help again but he isn't prepared to compromise. It has been 5 months since I saw him last. We've traversed this same cycle for more than a decade and I keep throwing them more rope because they're both ASD. The thing is: I'm also ASD and I'm not taking money from anyone else or taking advantage of others to get by. And I think they're getting a bit too old to keep makes excuses for them. I'm tired of being stonewalled and then, eventually, trapped within another cycle of the same. Has anyone else experienced this? Has anyone else been able to change the cycle? If so, how?

HamSolo01 Sick of being single
  • replies: 5

title says it all and im genuinely worried its just going to start getting worse... its the cause of a great deal of anxiety tbh.. just over it idk what to do because im genuinely sick of this crap... Never before have i felt THIS bad about it.. Toda... View more

title says it all and im genuinely worried its just going to start getting worse... its the cause of a great deal of anxiety tbh.. just over it idk what to do because im genuinely sick of this crap... Never before have i felt THIS bad about it.. Today at uni im going to try to sit near a girl ive seen sitting on her own the past number of weeks... Thing is when crunch time comes i know i bloody wont.. i feel like such a panzy.. its just getting worse honestly.. Even just sitting next to her is borderline impossible.. I feel like a lonesome loser who wont get anywhere in life and im over fakery and im over feeling alone...

Savage I am am close to retiring, but my 3rd wife is sucking my life out of me.
  • replies: 2

The last 2 months. Monday 4th April. Bought a new house Tuesday 5th April. Sold the existing house Wednesday 6th April. Got Fired. The past 2 months have been unbearable. I have gone from earning $200K+ 2 years ago to nothing today. I'm trying to fin... View more

The last 2 months. Monday 4th April. Bought a new house Tuesday 5th April. Sold the existing house Wednesday 6th April. Got Fired. The past 2 months have been unbearable. I have gone from earning $200K+ 2 years ago to nothing today. I'm trying to find a job, but because of my age and physical condition (muliple fractures of vertebra, hip replacement, 2 torn roar cuffs, 3 cracked sculls and the rest, then I just can't find a position. On the 6th April I gave up drinking so as to appease my wife and have a clear mind. This last week, one week before settlement has been horrendous. The solicitor has cocked up the whole process. It looks as though they have not been diligent in uncovering this until the last minute. They expect us to take out illegal Title Insurance to cover this. This is a solicitor telling me to break the law. Tonight. Settlement is tomorrow. $1,420,000. Solicitor is still negotiating for the 3 pm settlement. Asked my wife to bring home some wine. Drove in the driveway and heard a smashing of bottle, then proceeded to get a verbal then physical abuse from my wife. She dropped a bottle, but I am to blame. She hits me and expects me to just take it on the chin. In Conclusion. With the tabs I have at home I can do it right now. The only problem is, I have a daughter that I care for her future. HELP! Now the problem. My wife has not the intelligence to have a single conversation without bringing up 'getting a job'. My past 40 years of life I have been taking precription medications. All she thinks is that I should take some ginseng and sleep!!!!!!!!!!

Scoot040 Not coping with part time employment
  • replies: 2

Hi at the moment i have been unemployed for over 12 months but managed to get some part time work as a security guard but it's only 3 nights a week for 5hrs each night . Originally i was employed by local council for 27 yrs until i had carpal tunnel ... View more

Hi at the moment i have been unemployed for over 12 months but managed to get some part time work as a security guard but it's only 3 nights a week for 5hrs each night . Originally i was employed by local council for 27 yrs until i had carpal tunnel syndrome and had 3 operations to correct it but the council decided to place me on a injury management program to find a place within council to suit my condition for 3 mths until they find a full time position or they would let me go after the 3mths. I have tried applying elsewhere with no luck, i have done courses to further my career in security but nothing has come up and now waiting for weapons licensing to issue license so i can gain employment in cash in transit field but taking forever and missing out on work . Not sure how much more i can deal with people not responding to job applications even to say you didn't get the job would be great. Any advice would be great i do have a hobby but now have to stop that because i can't afford to do it any more

Tboy Trying to find a partner
  • replies: 3

Hey I'm going through a rough old time right now. I'm 41, single and really want to settle down, it's just so damned hard. I know I have it all together in other areas of my life, my career, family, friends etc, but dating.....boy, very tough. I turn... View more

Hey I'm going through a rough old time right now. I'm 41, single and really want to settle down, it's just so damned hard. I know I have it all together in other areas of my life, my career, family, friends etc, but dating.....boy, very tough. I turn to the dating coach/pickup community for help but sometimes I just feel freakin worse and they haven't helped but hindered. The dating apps are just useless, I also paid $20 to use RSVP and the girl I was talking to disappeared...wtf?.... I had a brief affair last year with a girl who'd just come out of a bad marriage, I was hoping that we would get together in the end, but no, she thinks we're incompatible.... so that hurt a bit The other thing is that it's affecting my sleep patterns and I'm waking in the middle of the night every night in a terrified state that I'll never find anyone, it really is unpleasant, I have no idea why that is happening. I'm doing everything I can to help myself, positive self-talk mantras, going to counselling next week, meditation, exercise ......I just get so upset sometimes. On a lighter note , I posted on here in 2013 on the same topic and found myself in a relationship in 2014...so there is hope for me... Just needed to share