Relationship and family issues

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Kayaking Not sure what is going on with me.
  • replies: 6

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years and I just have no sexual desire towards him. I feel like I've lost interest because of his family and his friend. I've tried to talk to him about how he never sticks up for me in... View more

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years and I just have no sexual desire towards him. I feel like I've lost interest because of his family and his friend. I've tried to talk to him about how he never sticks up for me in situations, regardless of being my fault or not, and he just disregards everything and says that it's all made up. I don't feel like I get the emotional support I need from him. Through all of this, I just see his flaws and him being overweight, his lack of pulling his weight around the house, even though he works from home. Whenever he tries to touch me, I really don't like it and move away. He's a nice person and doesn't do anything intentional to hurt me. I'm not sure if this is normal and it will pass or if I'm depressed or something.

mechanical_animal having feelings for someone while your in a committed relationship
  • replies: 15

Hi my first post. I've been battling depression since i was 17 years old, been on and off meds for years. I am now 32 years old. I feel bad about this. I've been in a committed relationship with my fiancee for 7 years! we have a daughter that is a ye... View more

Hi my first post. I've been battling depression since i was 17 years old, been on and off meds for years. I am now 32 years old. I feel bad about this. I've been in a committed relationship with my fiancee for 7 years! we have a daughter that is a year old that I really love very much. I've had a fair bit of bad luck this year. I usually talk to people i know to help me with issues (of late I think I'm annoying people by doing this) This time however I am not game to tell anyone I know. We have this friend and I have kinda become infatuated with her she is a nice chick but i don't want to lose her as a friend or lose my missus or daughter either. I don't think I could could cheat on my missus. I just wish these feelings would go away!! If i tell my missus this. I don't know how she would take it. I love her but i am just over fighting with feelings all the time. I don't want her out of my life either. If i tell this girl how i feel then I'm sure that gets to my missus also. I just wish there was someway to turn all of this off. you know. especially when this girl is on my mind lots. it's so sad that now when I'm on facebook. I look to see her online or like something i have posted or commented on. I hope someone has some advice on what to do??? I've been trying for so long to make improvments on myself but something silly like this comes along and throws me back to square one

RJ25 Dating a man who thinks he's not good enough.
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, Firstly, apologies for my writing - it's a bit all over the place as I'm typing with a toddler jumping over me!! I'm hoping someone may be able to provide me with a bit of insight into loving a man with depression. We have been dating fo... View more

Hi everyone, Firstly, apologies for my writing - it's a bit all over the place as I'm typing with a toddler jumping over me!! I'm hoping someone may be able to provide me with a bit of insight into loving a man with depression. We have been dating for almost 6 months & everything is great for the most part. He's a wonderful guy with a secure job & what seems like a good life. He has 2 children which he sees every second weekend, and 2 ex-wives (one of which he has a not so good relationship with now) so knows about heartbreak. Without going into details, he has also suffered other events throughout his life which seem to have contributed to his depression & thinking that he isn't worth loving. I also have gone through a recent marriage breakdown & have 2 kids. The time we spend together is amazing. I believe we have a great friendship & the communication between us is like nothing i have ever experienced. He is wonderful with my kids & I know he values the time he gets to spend with all of us. The thing is..... whilst he loves the time he spends with my little family, he also struggles with the guilt of what he's missed with his own kids. I can actually see the conflict this causes within him. Also, something will happen in his life which will trigger a bout of depression and he ultimately retreats into his man cave. This happened again last night, however, we managed to talk for an hour or so about our relationship and life in general. He tells me things like he needs to be the right person for me & my kids, that he doesn't deserve to be loved by me & that i'm too good for him, that its just easier to push me away than open up his heart again because ultimately it will lead to heartbreak, & that he knows he will only hurt me in the long run. I tell him that I understand getting into a new relationship is scary (i feel the same about heartbreak), & that we can take things as slow as we both need, & that I am here for him whenever he needs. I've told him that I think he's wonderful & that I deserve to have input as to whether he's the right man for me or not. Although I have done a lot of reading on depression, I do not suffer from it. I know that I can only offer my support but it's breaking my heart that this man thinks he is not worthy of being loved. How do I show him I'm here for him and in it for the long term? If anyone has experienced this kind of situation - from either side - and can offer me some guidance, it would be much appreciated.

SydneyKat Will he come back?
  • replies: 12

Hi, my husband left me and my daughter , 3 weeks ago. It was quite sudden for me. Is it possible he will come back after a separation? Does it happen? What makes it happen? also how do I truly know there is no one else in his life? sad and lonely kat

Hi, my husband left me and my daughter , 3 weeks ago. It was quite sudden for me. Is it possible he will come back after a separation? Does it happen? What makes it happen? also how do I truly know there is no one else in his life? sad and lonely kat

KrysDrake Trusting my family again..
  • replies: 1

Since as early as I can remember, I have not gotten along well with my parents. My father was quite abusive and my mother rather neglectful. Both of them are alcoholics and seem to suffer depression. Just over a year ago my grandfather passed away an... View more

Since as early as I can remember, I have not gotten along well with my parents. My father was quite abusive and my mother rather neglectful. Both of them are alcoholics and seem to suffer depression. Just over a year ago my grandfather passed away and ever since then, I have felt so incredibly alone I have cried myself to sleep most nights. I want to become close with my parents again but I can't seem to get passed all the things they have done to me and my brothers.. What should I do?

Teags83 My husband suffering major depression
  • replies: 2

My husband and i have been together for over 15yrs he has suffered major depression many years was treated. He decided to decrease medication as he wanted of them is now on on slow realese tablet. The Last 3 months have been quite hard due to we deci... View more

My husband and i have been together for over 15yrs he has suffered major depression many years was treated. He decided to decrease medication as he wanted of them is now on on slow realese tablet. The Last 3 months have been quite hard due to we decided to sell our property and try and move into a bigger property with his mother. During this time His work got cut went downhill very quick and is also trying to support us all. I did get into a fight with his mum as he wasnt turning towards me then Told me needed space while dealing with this hard situation didnt no if he loved me anymore. We have 2 beautiful girls so i left him as didnt think to be in a heathly space at the time we have had many arguements over the yrs. He doesnt want to see me gets so much aniexty the thought of me and stress in everyday life i still love him and want to be there every step of the way im worried that this depression and aniexty is the end of our marriage.

james1 Obsession
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Hello, Hoping to get tips with this from anyone who suffers from the same thing. So one of my things is I get unhealthily obsessed with people. I am not exaggerating when I say I will want to marry someone within minutes of chatting to them if I find... View more

Hello, Hoping to get tips with this from anyone who suffers from the same thing. So one of my things is I get unhealthily obsessed with people. I am not exaggerating when I say I will want to marry someone within minutes of chatting to them if I find something I like about them, no matter how small. And because it's obviously not reciprocated, I freak out when I start feeling like they don't like me as much, which happens to be all the time (again, for obvious reasons - we've only been talking for 10 minutes). Thankfully I have enough self control -not- to actually stalk them in person and tell them everything, but the urge is very much there. I've raised this previously with my psych, and she wanted me to observe my own behaviour while dating. There was one girl with whom I thought I was actually controlling it pretty well. But then with this new person, she basically pointed it out to me and I hadn't even recognised just how much I'd become obsessed already. So that was a bit annoying. So yeah, I'd love to hear from people who do the same and what you do to control it Doing my usual hobbies including exercise doesn't seem to work because it doesn't take my mind off enough. And yes, I do dream about them too which makes it even more confusing because I start confusing reality and dream. James

Woolly_Bush Big time struggles
  • replies: 3

Okay I feel this might be long. Ive been in a relationship for 7 years with my female partner. We are an all female couple. We have generally had a good relationship with a lot of love and fun. Her sister has been sick with cancer for a large proport... View more

Okay I feel this might be long. Ive been in a relationship for 7 years with my female partner. We are an all female couple. We have generally had a good relationship with a lot of love and fun. Her sister has been sick with cancer for a large proportion of our relationship. In the last two months her sister has really started to get sick and has been given two months to live about a month ago. My partner has really shut me out a lot from how she is feeling and has turned to posting on online forums for support and help with the grief and also some issues she has with depression, anxiety and body image. I recently tried to find these posts because I was so worried about her that it was making me sick. I wish that I hadn't gone in search of it because I found out some things that she was hiding from me. When I asked her about a few things (in such a way that gave her the opportunity to be honest with me) without telling her I had seen what she wrote, she lied to my face about a few things. I have since told her that I want her to feel comfortable enough to share things with me about she feels however she is of the opinion that there are some things she thinks we should keep separate and that she shouldn't have to share every thought and feeling. This has really put a dent in my trust of her. I've told her that in a relationship I really need for there to be honesty and openness but she doesn't agree. She also thinks I'm selfish for wanting to discuss these things when her sister is dying. She's continued to discuss issues in our relationship in a public forum to which I now feel I have no other choice but to do the same. As a result of this shutting out I've confided in a friend but also now have confused my feelings for this person. Im starting to now see holes in our relationship and possibly our future and a misalignment of values. How could all this happen in response to a distressing situation and how could I not have seen it earlier. I feel so stressed about it all and so unsure what I want to do. It feels so distressing that I just want to leave the relationship. I'm sick and I feel so weighed down from such a long time dealing with this pending event. I feel like all the life and my emotion had been sucked from me and feel a bit like the easiest thing to do is to just go missing. I know this is irrational but I'm feeling quite distressed.

MisterM Trying to work out why I got so angry at my best friend
  • replies: 6

I was at his get together yesterday and I misunderstood something he said from what I perceived caused him to get frustrated judging by his facial expression and reaction. This made me go all quiet and feel hurt. I sat in the kitchen of his place on ... View more

I was at his get together yesterday and I misunderstood something he said from what I perceived caused him to get frustrated judging by his facial expression and reaction. This made me go all quiet and feel hurt. I sat in the kitchen of his place on my own and the hurt built up, my friend walked past me and was all cheery trying to get my attention as I was looking down, I all of a sudden got up and said to him I don't like how he talked to me and stormed out of his place and to my car. My friend ran after me, stepping onto the road as I was driving away and I pulled over and we talked it through. He said he did not know what I was angry about and didn't know what I was talking about when I was telling him why I got angry. He did have a few to drink and said he was a bit drunk. He said he loves me and wouldn't do nothing to hurt me and looked genuinely concerned. I decided to return back inside his place once my tears dried up. I was the last to leave last night. I messaged him today to apologise for how I reacted. He's upset that I would doubt him after nearly 20 years of friendship and said that I made him feel like a stranger. This has got me feeling so sad that I made him feel this way. I am regretful for my behaviour. My friend did get a bit snappy at me a few weeks ago on a night out and messaged me to apologise saying it is not okay when I said it's okay. I was thinking he's done it again and this is what caused my emotions to boil over and me to storm out of his place last night. I was also thinking, I am stupid as a person and a frustrating friend for him because of his snapping at me sometimes. I mentioned this to him last night and he said he loves me and that is not how he thinks of me. I am feeling so depressed over this and don't know what to do, haven't been able to leave my bed other than to go toilet or eat lunch today. I am fearful this will cause a rift in our friendship even though my friend assured me that it would take a lot more than that to ruin our friendship. My friend said it's water under the bridge and told me there's no need to talk about it next time we catch up. I just can't get over the guilt, the embarrassment. I have been diagnosed with depression/dysthymia, GAD, social anxiety. Is this causing this cognitive flaw and my anger? It's not the first time I've stormed off on people in anger. Did it well over 10 years ago with the same friend and two other times with my sister and my brother in law's friend.

JESSICAV My relationship ended abruptly and I'm not sure what happened to me.
  • replies: 4

Hi guys. I’m not diagnosed with a problem, but I have had a lot of issues in the last few months which accumulated and caused the end of a long term relationship. I became obsessive and I suffocated my partner with attention and constant contact. I h... View more

Hi guys. I’m not diagnosed with a problem, but I have had a lot of issues in the last few months which accumulated and caused the end of a long term relationship. I became obsessive and I suffocated my partner with attention and constant contact. I had suffered some mood swings and mood changes in front of his friends and in private which I thought had to do with me beginning to take contraceptives, but I’m not sure anymore. He told me the stress became too much and the more I thought about it, the more I realized I hadn’t been feeling myself for months and I was unhappy. I was struggling to enjoy myself. He is chronically ill and I felt a really strong desire to be his carer, I wanted to purposefully make it known that I cared. I pressured him to move out with me to the point he didn't want to anymore since its so difficult with a disability pension. I am very scared to get evaluated. My father has extreme anxiety and I am terrified something is wrong with me that I cannot fix. I am grieving the loss of my partner, but I catch myself thinking about it constantly and I have crying outbursts every now and again. My train of thought changes from “well maybe he wasn’t for me and we weren’t for each other” to “am I possibly bipolar or depressed”. We only separated this week so I guess this is normal. However I have done this in previous relationships also. I am afraid something is wrong and I’m scared of finding out. I wanted to talk to someone, see if anyone has experienced the same things. Thank you