Parents & Partner differences

[Gill1989]

My parents and my boyfriend are completely different people. My boyfriend has always had difficulties clicking with them, and vice versa. Sometimes I think he tries too hard and it makes me so uncomfortable and I also get mad at him for trying so hard!!! I honestly don't really care what they think of him and I wish he wouldn't either. We have been together for 5 years, and I think marriage is probably on the horizon soon and they are probably thinking this as well. Anyway the past few weeks my parents just keep on telling me they do not think he is "right for me". They say they think I always look annoyed or uncomfortable when I am around him and them. Which is obviously because I AM uncomfortable when they are all together!!! None of them get along! Then they just tell me I really need to think my decision through because its "for life" (as if a person with anxiety hasn't already thought this through a thousand times?!?!?!) Their attitude towards the whole thing is really getting me down, and I don't know how I will cope if/when we get engaged. How will I deal with having such an unsupportive family during that time 😞 😞 All I want is for people to be happy and excited for me, but they are just going to be disappointed and probably keep telling me "Its not too late to back out"

arggghhhh. anyone been thru anything similar?

[BballJ]

Hi Gill1989,

Sorry to hear about what is happening currently, it is never easy to have your parents and partner always get a long, 5 years is a long time together and they still do not get along I can imagine is very difficult. I think you really need to speak with your parents and let them know exactly what he means to you, if he truly makes you happy then you need to tell them this and that all you want if for all of you to get a long. You want this to be a positive experience in your life and also say that you have thought long and hard about this and that you feel he is right for you. It is hard to make other people see eye to eye, you just need to speak with them in a civil manner and try your best to make everyone see eye to eye.

My best for you,

Jay

[geoff]

hello Gill, and great comment Jay, it's disrespectful how your parents are feeling and they have to change their tune on accepting your partner.
If this is who you want to marry, simply because you love him and know that he is the ideal person for you then that's who it's going to be.
If they still refuse then it's going to be a lonely period where they won't be able to see you that often, so virtually they are the ones who are missing out.
Your partner is just reacting to their hostility that's why he doesn't get on with them, but if all of this changes then your b/friend will accept them with open arms.
Perhaps ask your parents why they feel like this, but remember to only take their criticism and cut it in half what they have to say. Geoff.