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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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James33 My drinking addiction
  • replies: 2

Hi. Me and my partner have been together for 9 years have two beautiful kids and last few years iv been depressed because if money issues I work full time but seem to always be stuck in same place and this monday I got drunk with mates and went home.... View more

Hi. Me and my partner have been together for 9 years have two beautiful kids and last few years iv been depressed because if money issues I work full time but seem to always be stuck in same place and this monday I got drunk with mates and went home. I was so drunk I lost it and went off my partner was so scared she called the cops. Thank God my kids where asleep. I am now on the brink of losing my partner and my kids because as partner said she's never seen that person before and she was scared for the first time of me. I hurt so bad now I can't even look in the mirror. I really need help stoping rhe addition so I don't lose myself. Any advice or just a chat would be si appreciated. Many thanks

lonelyloz Help leaving husband
  • replies: 2

Hi all, I have finally made the decision to leave my husband after being together for 22 years and 4 kids. We have had issues for a long time which he refuses to seek help for and he put me through hell last year when I asked for a separation to see ... View more

Hi all, I have finally made the decision to leave my husband after being together for 22 years and 4 kids. We have had issues for a long time which he refuses to seek help for and he put me through hell last year when I asked for a separation to see if we would be happier. A side of him cameout that I have never seen before and the venom in his voice and way he spoke to me was awful. He kept telling me to “get a f$&!ing job” and stop sponging off him (we had 4 kids in 5 years and I have attempted to work and study many times and the family has fallen apart as he hasn’t picked up the slack at all and I was even hospitalized for getting so sick doing everything) he threatened to close our accounts and leave me without money, threatened the kids against me, abused and said violent things about me to his sister via text and then wouldn’t let me leave the house for even a night to escape. I was in severe depression and suicide watch at the time (I had told him this and showed him all my psychologist notes) but he took no notice and eventually one night I tried to end my own life as I felt so trapped (not blaming him for that but it was just another straw) we saw a counsellor for a few months be he slowly lost interest and the troublesome behaviour continued. He is constantly angry, stressed and aggressive unless he drinks. Tensions are rising again between us and I’m terrified he will turn in to the monster he was last year again. We haven’t been able to claim Centrelink for years because he never gives me the details they need and hasn’t done a tax return for years so now we have a debt! I’ve been looking for a job for years and I know I won’t get (or want) anything from him but i need to leave and soon. Does anyone know of any loans, assistance I can get from Centrelink or public housing etc (my children identify as indigenous but I don’t) I’ve been trying to call Centrelink for weeks and can’t get through! Any help would much appreciated

A147 Feeling hopeless
  • replies: 1

Hi, I posted a few years ago about my cheating husband……. Many chances and years later I’m still here in this situation and I’m feeling hopeless. Many looking in from the outside would see a perfect situation, financial stability and a dream life but... View more

Hi, I posted a few years ago about my cheating husband……. Many chances and years later I’m still here in this situation and I’m feeling hopeless. Many looking in from the outside would see a perfect situation, financial stability and a dream life but I still feel completely out of control. My daughter is suffering as I have sunk to an all time low in my depression. The affair aside my husband has always been very controlling, being with him is like being on a roller coaster, my daughter and I never know who will walk through the door. We both work together so in front of our staff he will portray a loving husband even if he’s belittled me that morning. He is not interested in how I feel or am feeling and never has been, I must support him in all that he does. I was too young to know what coercive control was or looked like when we got together. But all I know now is that I felt wrong from the get go and forced myself into a situation I thought was right. My family do not like him and my closest ally, my sister, has now washed her hands of me at what she thinks is my feeble attempts to leave. I announced that I wished to seperate last week but he thinks I’m bluffing again. I don’t know how to get out of this…. I need support but I can’t ask my family at the moment, they’ve always been amazing but I think I may have used up all my empathy credit with them., I am in such a deep depression I really don’t want to be here anymore, I can’t bail out because I wouldn’t do it to my daughter, not sure where to draw my strength from now as all I want to do is sleep. Thought about calling 1800 respect to find out whether relationship is really abusive because where I’m sitting I’m not sure anymore. I’m almost 50 and I love being by myself so I’m not afraid to be alone for the rest of my life, I’m just afraid for my child who is 11 and loves her father but does fear him a little. There has been no physical violence just emotional abuse…. I’d just love to hear from anyone really who has had a similar experience. Thanks for letting me speak

yowiie I would like to meet my biological daughter
  • replies: 18

Hi GuysI am pretty new to this forum, with this being my first postmy reason for being here is for advice on the best way to handle a situation back in 1979 I had a couple of passionate nights with a young lady, who consequently got pregnant.I was wo... View more

Hi GuysI am pretty new to this forum, with this being my first postmy reason for being here is for advice on the best way to handle a situation back in 1979 I had a couple of passionate nights with a young lady, who consequently got pregnant.I was working away after the 2 night stand and was notified some months later by a couple of mates who resided in the same town as the girl, that she was pregnant with my child.being 19 myself I wasn’t sure what to do, but did how ever try and make contact with her through her parents, but they wouldn’t allow me to talk to herso I figured maybe it’s not my baby and tried to forget about it, but it was always on my mind20 years later I was visiting my grandmother in the hospital and the young lady was a nurse therei was polite to her, I never asked about the baby as it wasn’t my concern. She basically called me everything and know one wanted to see me, she asked who do you think your going to see why your in town.It got me thinking maybe the child was mineI asked my mother if the young lady’s offspring resemble me in anyway, so being a mother she was only more than helpful in her offer to help solve the mysteryThe young lady is now 42 and lives in the same town as my mother. Mum ran into her in the street a month ago and chattedMy mother rang and was in disbelief, the young lady is the spitting image of my oldest daughter, skin colouring , facial features, build, etcI asked my sister who still lives in to find some pics of the lady,!she managed to find several on Facebook and sent them to meI was speechless, there is so much resemblance to my daughter it’s uncannyI am quite certain now that the lady is my daughter, my question is how do I approach her mother to see if I can get contactafter her outburst at the hospital I can’t imagine she would be to happy to hear from me

Cathy_Chiew Be frustrated with the relationship with my friend but she is also my roommate
  • replies: 1

My friend, M, is my roommate but also my friend. We usually hang out together, but after she fed a cat, things changed. Because I have an allergy to cat fur, I had told her about this issue. She promised me she would do the cleaning. However, she did... View more

My friend, M, is my roommate but also my friend. We usually hang out together, but after she fed a cat, things changed. Because I have an allergy to cat fur, I had told her about this issue. She promised me she would do the cleaning. However, she didn't! My nose has been stuck for over four years. Every time I saw fur on the kitchen bench, my desk, in the fridge, and so on, the fur be on the place its shouldnt I couldn't help but feel angry. I had tried to discuss it with her, but the response was like, 'Oh, my cat is so pitiful; no one likes you,' or 'I'll shave your fur, my kitty, to be bald, and there would be no fur.' Also, she put a Poopoo machine in our bathroom but only cleans it once per fortnight. I have to endure the terrible smell every time I use the bathroom. I told her about this issue, and she bought candles and a diffuser. The combination of smells was extremely disgusting.I feel she is really selfish! But I also have to admit we have had lots of good times. Mostly when we hang out, she drives, and she has also introduced me to many new friends. I'm confused about whether I should continue this relationship

nixxyboo Family blaming me
  • replies: 1

Someone in the house has $100 missing from their wallet Yet again (mind you I’ve also had money missing which is why I don’t carry cash now unless it’s given to me but didn’t say anything as didn’t want to blame anyone.) however I’m now getting the b... View more

Someone in the house has $100 missing from their wallet Yet again (mind you I’ve also had money missing which is why I don’t carry cash now unless it’s given to me but didn’t say anything as didn’t want to blame anyone.) however I’m now getting the blame and also found out they have blamed me for other things (my partner told me they have said things to them). I’m over it. I do t do shit but yet it’s always me. I want out of here but untill I can get back to work I can’t

bonchm Fiancé chatting online and compulsively lies
  • replies: 1

I’ve been with my partner for 4 years next month. 2 weeks ago I caught him on a dating site. He swore blue in the face it wasn’t him, he had been hacked. Made out he had made a police report. Made me feel crazy for not letting it go. 1 week later, I ... View more

I’ve been with my partner for 4 years next month. 2 weeks ago I caught him on a dating site. He swore blue in the face it wasn’t him, he had been hacked. Made out he had made a police report. Made me feel crazy for not letting it go. 1 week later, I sat in front of him and went though his emails. He thought he had covered his tracks but I found proof of his ads. He swears that he never met anyone but I can’t believe him. I told a mutual friend. Turns out this is how is marriage ended, literally 3 months before I met him!! I don’t know who he is! He has been on this site since we got together! He was chatting while I was in hospital with threatened pre term labour and still just after I had had his baby!! I keep digging and finding more. I can my stop, it’s driving me crazy. emails to other women talking about things that we were excited about. He’s emotionally sharing with other women, sending cheeky memes to both me and another at the same time. i reallllly don’t know what to do either I want this to work for the kids (big blended family) and I have never felt this way about someone before. But writing his actions down and re reading them, if it were a friend I’d tell them to run from him.

Rachy86 Pregnant sister
  • replies: 1

Hi my name is Rachel and my sister is pregnant.We are very close and she supports me alot as I have mental health issues.I know things will change but I am afraid I am going to lose the relationship I have with my sister and because of this I feel I ... View more

Hi my name is Rachel and my sister is pregnant.We are very close and she supports me alot as I have mental health issues.I know things will change but I am afraid I am going to lose the relationship I have with my sister and because of this I feel I am not reacting to the news in the right way.Also I feel I am not a great person so I don't know how I can contribute to helping another person. I know I don't want them to turn out like me. And because of this I am taking a step back from the whole situation which I don't want to do because I love my sister and I want to support her. But maybe it's better this way at least I won't screw it up.

gloria10 My sister has stopped talking to me
  • replies: 11

Hi. I'm looking for some advice to deal with my sister, who has recently stopped talking to me. We have never really been super close, but have still stayed in contact every few months as we know family is important. Recently, she started to get a bi... View more

Hi. I'm looking for some advice to deal with my sister, who has recently stopped talking to me. We have never really been super close, but have still stayed in contact every few months as we know family is important. Recently, she started to get a bit hostile towards me and argued over little things, I felt I was walking on eggshells. If I tried to reach out to her she wouldn't answer my calls. I understand people get busy, but I get the feeling it's more than that. It's not a nice feeling getting the silent treatment and I'm left feeling quite drained at times. I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this sort of thing and how you approached it? Many thanks, Gloria10

nicky76 My mum is addicted to ice
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When I was 17 my mum fell into a bad ice addiction. She lost her job, our family home and everything she has worked for within the space of 12 months. She is now homeless and a prostitute which she chooses to post on Facebook on her multiple accounts... View more

When I was 17 my mum fell into a bad ice addiction. She lost her job, our family home and everything she has worked for within the space of 12 months. She is now homeless and a prostitute which she chooses to post on Facebook on her multiple accounts she makes. She suffers from bad psychosis and thinks I am either dead or out to get her. I don’t know how to deal with the grief that I have already lost her even if she is still here physically. I haven’t seen her for over 3 years and i to be honest I am scared to see her. I don’t know what I would do or how she would react to me and if she would lash out. How do I accept that my mum won’t be there to see all my achievements and say she loves me even though she is still here. I feel ashamed if any of my friends see her on Facebook because they will wonder who she is and why she posts the stuff she does and I don’t want anyone to make fun of her. My heart hurts for her when I think she might be unsafe and with people who don’t care about her. It’s just me and her. She won’t talk to my aunt and my grandparents have passed away. Sometimes I feel so alone.