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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Dadmeister Parent Alienation Syndrome
  • replies: 4

Hi all, any tips on how to handle Parent Alienation Syndrome? I’ve been going through a hell of a divorce for 3 years which is being played out in the courts after I caught my wife of 25 years having had an affair. As she was so embarrassed about the... View more

Hi all, any tips on how to handle Parent Alienation Syndrome? I’ve been going through a hell of a divorce for 3 years which is being played out in the courts after I caught my wife of 25 years having had an affair. As she was so embarrassed about the affair and lost most of her friends and some of her family she decided her only hope was to cling to our 3 daughters and fill them with venom about me. My eldest daughter has now kit spoken to me for 18months and my youngest I have not seen in 6 months and she spent the last visit shaking. My middle daughter is hot and cold. I don’t boast about many things in life but I was an amazing hands on father fully involved and interested in all my daughter’s activities.I now struggle so much without my daughters and everyone says just give it time but as months turn into years I just can’t see how I will ever be able to reconcile with them when they only having a narcissist giving them their narrative.Will always love my daughters

Dazzlar Need help
  • replies: 1

Hi so a little about me, I’m married for 10 years with 3 kids, my wife and I maybe have sex twice a year and I fall back into my fantasy of ladyboys and other women who give me attention and going online, I have no idea why I like them, i do stupid s... View more

Hi so a little about me, I’m married for 10 years with 3 kids, my wife and I maybe have sex twice a year and I fall back into my fantasy of ladyboys and other women who give me attention and going online, I have no idea why I like them, i do stupid shit online showing nude pictures ect and I just want to stop it as my wife and kids are my world, I have tried ending my life on more then one occasion and as young as 4 years old was sexually assaulted, I have drank alcohol nearly every single day since I was 15 to escape reality, this is the first time I have ever talked about this to anyone, please help

Tez1983 Marriage Seperation
  • replies: 1

My wife and I have been separated for 3 months now (she initiated the separation). My wife keeps telling me she has no feelings and has an open mind for them to come back. We catch up and do lunch or something most weeks to reignite the spark. But I ... View more

My wife and I have been separated for 3 months now (she initiated the separation). My wife keeps telling me she has no feelings and has an open mind for them to come back. We catch up and do lunch or something most weeks to reignite the spark. But I can’t stop thinking about us getting back together. I am holding onto so much hope that it consumes me but it is also driving me crazy. I have started to drink a lot more and have never done illegal substances but have started too recently. I am just so anxious and up and down I don’t know if this will ever pass. Any help would be appreciated.

mama2 ? Husband has bipolar
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone, My husband and I have been married almost 10 years now and our marriage has been a constant roller coaster.I have come to suspect that he has bipolar disorder .He presents with symptoms of high highs and low lows. He can go for a period ... View more

Hi everyone, My husband and I have been married almost 10 years now and our marriage has been a constant roller coaster.I have come to suspect that he has bipolar disorder .He presents with symptoms of high highs and low lows. He can go for a period of 2/3 months working excessively and hardly sleeping, to being in bed and struggling to maintain just one job..he has Addictive behaviours (gambling, pornography). His symptoms got evident 3years ago when he started excessively drinking. I have tried talking to him about getting help but he insists that he is okay. Its been hard. Help would have been great so I can fully understand how to be there for him and notice his triggers. As a result sometimes we clash and he is triggered and goes out, drinks , and is in a state of mania for days.We had an argument last week and it triggered him. He went to drink and was drinking consistently for the next 3 days, now he has completely disconnected from me and wants separation/divorce. The other day he was telling me he wants to go out and do whatever he wants, drink whenever he wants and sleep with whoever he wants.Everytime we engage he gets agitated quickly, i have learnt to keep my cool and that sees him calming down as well. I dont know what to do. We have 2 kids and I am so lost.

izzy12345 Struggling with a new situationship
  • replies: 2

Hi there.I'm writing on this forum to share my experience and hopefully get some advice. I'm in a pretty tricky spot right now where I just do not know what to do. I've had this friend for almost a year now. We've always been good friends through uni... View more

Hi there.I'm writing on this forum to share my experience and hopefully get some advice. I'm in a pretty tricky spot right now where I just do not know what to do. I've had this friend for almost a year now. We've always been good friends through uni and I've always had a crush on him. He's recently gotten out of a relationship, and ever since he broke up with his girlfriend we have been speaking a lot more and hanging out one on one. Long story short, about a month ago we started hooking up. He texts me late at night, I go to his house, we have sex, and then I leave the next morning. At the start, I really thought it was going somewhere, but the more I learn about him, the more I'm convinced he's using me for my body. He recently expressed that he has no desire for a relationship with me, which is fine. I'm not sure I want to date him right now either. The thing I'm scared of now is for when he simply loses interest and just stops texting me one day. I would be so sad if that were to happen. He has told me that he's not using me for my body, but that is the only reason we hang out. I have never seen him one on one, and not had sex with him. It hurts so bad because I like him a lot, and knowing he doesn't like me back in the same way is heart breaking. I just don't know what the solution is here. I really enjoy hanging out with him and I don't want to stop. But being in this situationship is making me really sad and anxious. Thanks in advance for any tips.

Moonbeamer Nightmares gone but grief continues
  • replies: 1

A couple of months ago my nightly anxiety nightmares seem to have ended.I have experienced nightmares most nights for many decades - they are anxiety dreams. Usually in these dreams there is something that needs to be done (eg pack for a trip) in a l... View more

A couple of months ago my nightly anxiety nightmares seem to have ended.I have experienced nightmares most nights for many decades - they are anxiety dreams. Usually in these dreams there is something that needs to be done (eg pack for a trip) in a limited time (eg catch a boat). I start the task and realise it is too big a job for me to do without help, but no-one helps. The people who should assist (eg they are going on the same trip) disappear or happily wander off doing their own things oblivious to the growing urgency. I ask for help but no-one hears me - no sound comes out. I keep doing the overwhelming task alone in increasing panic. I get exhausted and keep trying to get noticed so someone may help... always in vain. I wake up very upset, sometimes crying, sometimes screaming.In the real world, I did lose my voice as a teenager. Home and school were bastions of bullying and verbal abuse and after a while I stopped talking. I had stopped eating too. I was being yelled at whenever I spoke, so I just stopped. I was still yelled at and abused (for not talking), but I just gave up.Fast forward to now. Six-ish years ago I withdrew from contact with my family. This was after decades of difficulties and abuse. Without the love and compassion of my partner and dogs I would not have survived it. There was a major crash in my mental health, but things have steadily improved. I can now say I am probably my most content and free I have ever been... but the grief is still there.Not just deep sadness (missing a happy loving family that never really existed) but also quite a lot of confusion and anger.I have come to realise that lots of really nasty things happened that no-one has ever taken responsibility for. I have never in my life received an apology from anyone in my family for even the smallest thing - apparently they decided I was never to deserve it. At the same time, I still have the (bad) habit of apologising for everything. I feel that with all the years of lies, abuse, scape-goating and double standards that I have been treated very unjustly. I've never been allowed my say. There is no possibility for restitution. No possibility for basic human respect.Things seem to be getting better, but the unfairness is almost physically painful. The nightmares seem to have gone but these thoughts and feelings keep me awake at night and I worry about it all the time.

K34n Marriage break up
  • replies: 3

Hi Just wanting to know Since covid started I have been going down hill.My wife lost her business and I lost mine job due work place injury.We sold our house and went to move interstate but realised it wasn't for us.My wife went back to college to le... View more

Hi Just wanting to know Since covid started I have been going down hill.My wife lost her business and I lost mine job due work place injury.We sold our house and went to move interstate but realised it wasn't for us.My wife went back to college to learn a new career in 21,22 as hairdresser.I found a job locally.we had lived in a caravan park for 5months and we bought a duplex to live in My wife was unhappy with hairdressing and applied for a women's driver's academy to get a job through a company and got it they supplied training to get a truck licence and when she did she started full time Away from home 13hrs a day and she would get home and just sleep.I felt I was loosing her I felt unloved.Came mothers day this year she wanted to go away with a friend for weekend for a present.I was lost I started asking questions why with someone else we hadn't had time away for just us together and she wanted to do this with someone else I got really sick that night didn't receive any messages nothing and I lost it .Not knowing the didn't have reception. Any way we had starting to get along again.Every 2 to 3 weekends she would go to a BBQ on Saturdays with her work friends I was not invited through these.So anyway about 3 weeks ago she said she I'd going to 50 and 60 year old birthday party and would be staying the night.I thought I was strong and said ok.We had been getting along a bit better including more physical contact.Until Sunday night when she was going to bed and she said she is staying for the weekend .Then I asked some questions the place she was saying at is the 50 year olds birthday who is single.My heart broke.I felt hollow lost thinking the worst then I get a message the same night my best friends wife past away.Everything was ripping through my head.I e lost my wife told her I felt jealous lost hollow angry Because 30 years ago my first wife cheated on me then my girlfriend after that.I was thinking here I go again.Asking why she said I had trust issues and that I don't trust her and all she did is ever love me .I know she did And I loved her.I asked who else was going to the party she said some people with partners .and I said why wasn't I going and she said you won't asked and she just wants to go on her own with out me.I asked if she was ashamed of me and didn't love me and I t really made her turn away from me.I lost

SJC4Dalways Relationships
  • replies: 2

Hi there I'm a widower my husband died almost 8yrs ago I have 2 children.my daughter and I had very bad argument haven't seen her since 2019 or my two beautiful grandchildren.she won't talk to me or even give me the time of day.i am so hurt angry no ... View more

Hi there I'm a widower my husband died almost 8yrs ago I have 2 children.my daughter and I had very bad argument haven't seen her since 2019 or my two beautiful grandchildren.she won't talk to me or even give me the time of day.i am so hurt angry no other family apart from my son.

Mark h Confrontational Vs Non Confrontational
  • replies: 1

Hi Beyond Blue community I hope you are all keeping well today. I am just writing with regards to my current situation right now in the hope that some of you have gone through or am going through a similar situation. Eighteen months ago, I met an ama... View more

Hi Beyond Blue community I hope you are all keeping well today. I am just writing with regards to my current situation right now in the hope that some of you have gone through or am going through a similar situation. Eighteen months ago, I met an amazing lady who is now a big part of my life. After being separated from my ex partner for 16 months, I met this person by chance and obviously was and am extremely happy to be in a loving, secure relationship once again. My personality type is one that is placid. I am a non confrontational person but I am happy to own up to anything I have done wrong of course. I go forward in life laughing and being very positive even when things are bleak and not ideal. I prefer to be a glass half full personality I guess and look at things that bring joy to my day even if those things are quite simple such as walking the dogs or enjoying cooking something for us all. My partner has so many amazing qualities and she is caring beyond words however there are times (monthly) where things become irrational and the confronting arguments become for em, too much to cope with. As I am sensitive, I guess I take everything to heart but this week, there was a huge argument where I was shouted at and told that I was thinking things I simply wasn't. An example is that my partner has an amazing dog that now lives with us who does have a bit of a barking problem but nothing that upsets me at all. I do tell her to be quiet when she barks as I also work from home and this was taken by my partner as an attack to the point where I was told that "You don't like my dog being so annoying, you don't like me dog at all". This leads to me trying to calm the situation and putting my point forward but then it escalates and I end up with what I would class as emotional abuse. It's not something that I can live with, I am a punching bag for her and she has openly admitted that she does have a temper and can be quite negative and opinionated. this week I told her that I couldn't handle this anymore, it's too hard to deal with especially when I am doing nothing wrong at all. It feels like an attack or even something that makes me feel extremely unsafe, not in a physical way at all but emotionally for sure. This person has moved into my home and is adapting to massive change which I am so grateful for of course. She has been living with me now for 4 months but she's finding it hard. What do I do? I need help and advice.

Guest_4681 Dealing with self obsessed in laws
  • replies: 1

Hi fellow overthinkers, Am in a fix , am struggling to deal with my FIL who is extremely selfish and double standard person, he visits and stays with us for a year for last 15 years..up until 2018 my MIL was alive and they both used to stay for a yea... View more

Hi fellow overthinkers, Am in a fix , am struggling to deal with my FIL who is extremely selfish and double standard person, he visits and stays with us for a year for last 15 years..up until 2018 my MIL was alive and they both used to stay for a year and them break for abt 6 months then again same thing...since my hubby is only son he has to be there for them. My FIL is extremely social and he has no probs reaching out to strangers, sometimes he calls ppl over wen we are not there...I feel vulnerable around him due to my past experiences with my in laws..they have given me the worst time of my life...thr is no real respect in me for them , it's only coz of my hubby that I put up with him..it's been 19years of marriage but my past still haunts me especially when he stays with us..I get extremely frustrated and keep winging about everything to my hubby...am a natural giver so it's hard for me to behave against my nature but with him I feel like not doing anything but end up doing more than he deserves..I hv an issue that am a rebel...I cannot take any inappropriate comment or fake emotions..I hv to give bk...i can be very upfront and blunt if I do not agree with any1...I hv to express my true emotion...I cannot fake it..these days I feel like a loser and helpless..I feel like a problem myself...my hubby ignores his behaviour and move on but I can't...sometimes I feel like giving up on this marriage itself where my hubby only corrects me and ask me either to ignore or being smart in replying...I feel unheard and unsupported..I hv 2 school going girls and I don't want them affected because of my decision...am on antidepressants for last 10 years and not working right now...I support my hubby in every possible way but I barely get any acknowledgement..am sorry guys I may sound very random but my thoughts are all over the place am finding it hard to gather my thoughts and express correctly...not sure wat to do..any suggestions or help will be appreciated..thanks a ton..lots of Love and Light y'all