My mum is addicted to ice

[nicky76]

When I was 17 my mum fell into a bad ice addiction. She lost her job, our family home and everything she has worked for within the space of 12 months. She is now homeless and a prostitute which she chooses to post on Facebook on her multiple accounts she makes. She suffers from bad psychosis and thinks I am either dead or out to get her. I don’t know how to deal with the grief that I have already lost her even if she is still here physically. I haven’t seen her for over 3 years and i to be honest I am scared to see her. I don’t know what I would do or how she would react to me and if she would lash out. How do I accept that my mum won’t be there to see all my achievements and say she loves me even though she is still here. I feel ashamed if any of my friends see her on Facebook because they will wonder who she is and why she posts the stuff she does and I don’t want anyone to make fun of her. My heart hurts for her when I think she might be unsafe and with people who don’t care about her. It’s just me and her. She won’t talk to my aunt and my grandparents have passed away. Sometimes I feel so alone. 

[Sophie_M]

Hey Nicky76,

Welcome to the Forums. We are so glad that you have found us. Thank you for sharing here today. What you have described sounds incredibly difficult.
All of the emotions that you have described having – grief, fear, feeling alone – are completely valid and understandable.

We hope that there are people around you that can provide that sense of support and love that you can help you navigate through this. Everyone deserves to have their achievements and milestones recognised and celebrated.

You have a lot on your plate. Please know that the Beyond Blue counsellors are here for you if you’d like to talk this through on 1300 22 4636, or via online chat. It is so important that you look after yourself during these times and they can help you, or just be there if you want to talk. 
 
We are here to support you and you are not alone. Thank you so much once again for sharing here. Please feel free to share a bit more and let us know what is going on for you, and what might help, if you feel comfortable.  

Kind regards,  
Sophie M