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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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JigglyPuff04 Going through a break up
  • replies: 6

I got really depressed last year due to family problems. My boyfriend (who is now my ex-boyfriend) has been always there for me. He made me feel better everytime I feel really down. He isnt the perfect boyfriend but he makes me happy. My family disli... View more

I got really depressed last year due to family problems. My boyfriend (who is now my ex-boyfriend) has been always there for me. He made me feel better everytime I feel really down. He isnt the perfect boyfriend but he makes me happy. My family dislikes him because of what he had done on my 21st bday. He was supposed to be there as he promised but he ended up getting drunk w his friends and couldnt go to my dinner party. We sorted out the problem though and we continued our relationship. Two weeks ago, I started my internship to a different town and he had to go for a training in Brissy. He's the kind of person who isnt good w communicating like texts or calls, but he treats me right if we're together. I wanted to talk to him but he said his busy. We ended up not talking for a week. I tried to keep in touch w him but I am pissed off that he ignores my messages and leaves me on seen. Last Tuesday I found out that he talks to his friends but he keeps on ignoring me. So i broke up w him which Im regretting now. However my friends and my cousin think I did the right thing as they believe that eventho he's busy he would find the time to keep in touch w me cos we're partners. I've been really down since we stopped talking. I am a very emotional person and I sometimes say things that arent right out of emotion. I must have hurt him thats why he chose to ignore my messages. Last night we had a talk on messenger. It breaks my heart cos it is really the end of our relationship. I cry everytime Im alone. I miss him. And it's so hard cos he's the only person who can help me get through my breakdowns now he's gone.

Lost27 Smoking
  • replies: 3

When I first first met my bf he never smoked. 2 years later he is now. I want him to quit. Which he said for me he would because I am more important than smoking big in a year and a half once I'm fully back from school from the USA. Is a year and a h... View more

When I first first met my bf he never smoked. 2 years later he is now. I want him to quit. Which he said for me he would because I am more important than smoking big in a year and a half once I'm fully back from school from the USA. Is a year and a half giving him to much time or is that okay for him to stop?

J_123 I want to leave, but I'm unsure and afraid
  • replies: 6

This is a long one, so please bear with me. Ive been with my husband for 7 years but only married for 2 and I'm unhappy. For over a year now I've been struggling with the idea that we've grown apart and I can't see the future anymore, and I don't rea... View more

This is a long one, so please bear with me. Ive been with my husband for 7 years but only married for 2 and I'm unhappy. For over a year now I've been struggling with the idea that we've grown apart and I can't see the future anymore, and I don't really to. He held me back a lot from the things I wanted to do and triggered my anxiety often so I'd end up blaming myself for him not wanting to hang out and do things I wanted to do. He never wanted to do anything with me and I assumed it was my fault. At the start of this year I put up my walls because I assumed he didn't love me and started protecting myself, this unfortunately lead me to start to have feelings for one of my good friends. This has driven me even further away from my husband and has made me realise that I should not have married him, I should've broken up with him years ago, but I think I was codependant and afraid of being alone. I kept hoping and thinking "things will be better after we get married" but I was wrong. He isn't a bad person, but I feel like we have little in common and I find it very hard to talk to him. We will have stretches of silence that will last hours where I'll be throwing around for something to say and then will get 3 words in reply. Our interests and passions are no longer the same and I am terrified I'll fall pregnant because then I'll be stuck (we haven't been intimate in nearly 2 months anyway). If I weren't married, I'd break up with him. But divorce is such a big, scary thing and I do care for him, I just don't love him anymore. I know some people live through marriages like this, it's not like he's horrible to me, I'm just not happy. I'm scared I'm throwing away something so many people want because I'm unsettled, but that's the thing, I now realised I settled for this marriage, it was never truly right. We've always had big differences and I changed myself for him. I've tried googling this and lots of people have this problem 20+ years in and there are help articles about "challenge yourself to fall in love again". It shouldn't be so hard or a challenge after TWO years should it? I'm terrified of what it'll be like in 5 years. I have always felt like a marriage should be to your best friend, but I've learnt to appreciate my own company because of this marriage as I've never done more stuff alone. Im so scared for him, I'm scared he will fall into a depression and not be able to get out if I leave. I don't want to hurt him, but I know I already am.

skyblue85 is it time to let go?
  • replies: 13

ive been married for 3 wonderful years.my husband is a very lovely man but when he is with his friends atleast once a week,they will smoke weed,and at first its ok with me but then at the back of my mind,it can change him over time. And once he told ... View more

ive been married for 3 wonderful years.my husband is a very lovely man but when he is with his friends atleast once a week,they will smoke weed,and at first its ok with me but then at the back of my mind,it can change him over time. And once he told me,that I cannot ask him to quit because he wouldnt.his friends are his other family here in aus aside from me,so he told me not to take it away from him,but ofcourse i wouldnt.but for me,they can smoke cigarette or drink but no weeds,but he cannot do it for me..i dont no if this is normal or am i just controlling and selfish as what he says..i just want the “old him” the man i married 3 yrs ago..now we had a fight because of same reason,and he chose to smoke weed in 3 consecutive nights leaving me home alone and choosing to be with his friends smoking pot because he once told me,if im trying to stop him,he will do it more often.i just want us to spend time with each other and this affects our relationship as a couple..i dont want to have a weed addict husband please help.

Man with no name Husband, wife and money
  • replies: 7

Hi all, I don't have anyone to ask advice from so here I am. We have savings in the tens of thousands, two good cars, no debt other than home loan, my wife earns more than me. I am keen to buy either an old car or motorbike for around $10k. My wife f... View more

Hi all, I don't have anyone to ask advice from so here I am. We have savings in the tens of thousands, two good cars, no debt other than home loan, my wife earns more than me. I am keen to buy either an old car or motorbike for around $10k. My wife flatly says that I can't. She is more concerned about the ongoing costs than the purchase price. I have clinical depression, I can't just move past it, it eats me up. Why can she be the decider in the decision? Should it not bother me? Am i being childish for not just accepting a 'no'? Thanks,

manoody92 Relationship issues.
  • replies: 2

Hi again, hope you’re all well. I’m having husband issues again. Things were going really well there for a while, but now I feel like things are starting to fall back to as they were. I still feel like I’m on eggshells all day everyday trying to look... View more

Hi again, hope you’re all well. I’m having husband issues again. Things were going really well there for a while, but now I feel like things are starting to fall back to as they were. I still feel like I’m on eggshells all day everyday trying to look after my daughter and maintain the house but I never feel good enough and like my husband looks down on me. I try my best, but I’m still not coping mentally. I voiced my concerns to my husband last night, telling him how stressed I am. Trying to deal with our daughter refusing to eat at meal times and not wanting to cooperate at bed time. Tonight she started acting up again, and my husband just went to bed with no offer of help and left the kitchen mess for me to clean. When I confronted him about it, he just said that he has to work tomorrow...(like I don’t do anything). My daughter loves her daddy, but I’m starting to wonder if I should be putting up with this anymore...any advice? Similar stories?

Tj_tj What to do..
  • replies: 4

Hey all, appreciate the site and forum, sometimes it’s a lonely place out there despite being completely surrounded by amazing people, have been with my partner for over 10 years, we are amazing together, have an incredible life, in the last 12 month... View more

Hey all, appreciate the site and forum, sometimes it’s a lonely place out there despite being completely surrounded by amazing people, have been with my partner for over 10 years, we are amazing together, have an incredible life, in the last 12 months, she’s had an affair, I’ve found out / caught her on so many occasions, each time it’ ends in tears, apologies and we work on it over and over, it’s reallly taken a toll on me, self confidence, trust, general heatlh, But I just can’t seem to end it, I don’t know if that’s considered weak, or love, or what! When is enough enough?

ashley5 After the affair
  • replies: 2

Hi So a year ago my husband had a emotional affair, I knew he was texting a woman & had ask him to stop & he said he did but it turns out this was not the case. I confronted him & he broke up with me & we separated for 6 months, went to consulting be... View more

Hi So a year ago my husband had a emotional affair, I knew he was texting a woman & had ask him to stop & he said he did but it turns out this was not the case. I confronted him & he broke up with me & we separated for 6 months, went to consulting before deciding to make ago of it again. I have anxiety which on top of this means my brain has over analyze the hell out of the situation but my biggest issue right now is it’s a year on & I feel so insecure in our marriage like I can’t relax Incase i get crushed again. I feel like I’m losing my mind & im scared I’ll always feel this way. But I really want to make our marriage work. Will it ever get easier? My husband knows I feel this way & he’s starting to feel like I’ll never move pass this.

cantcope had a affair
  • replies: 20

hi, I have been married for 22 yrs, 2 wonderful kids, 22 and 17,. when I met my wife she was only 19, I was 26,. marriage has been good but over the last 7 or 8 years things have gotten stale, while I still have great affection for her I have found m... View more

hi, I have been married for 22 yrs, 2 wonderful kids, 22 and 17,. when I met my wife she was only 19, I was 26,. marriage has been good but over the last 7 or 8 years things have gotten stale, while I still have great affection for her I have found myself wanting,. I spend most of my time working and at night alone while shes doing her own stuff,, our sex life is non existent,. to the point im not interested anymore..5 yrs ago I meet the most wonderful beautiful women., I fell for right away, after a very short time she called it off as she had a partner,. it hurt me very much , but I got over it .went back to my normall life,. then 2 months ago, after 5 long years with no contact she emailed me again, she had broken up with her partner 6 months before and wanted to see me. I thought about it long and hard but couldn't resist her,. we phone each other several times a day and meet up in the city quite a few times., she was and is still trying to get over her relationship and is always talking about it,i told her I was there for her to vent etc.then she invited me to her apartment, I was nervous and scared but I went,.we sleept together,.then all within 3 days she told me she didn't want to see me anymore as her head isnt in the right space and its bad timing on her part. I have fallen for her and love her but she dosnt want me to contact her,. now I am not in a good place,. I feel very loney, empty feeling, always breaking up crying while trying to hide it from my wife,. im not happy and not in a good head space,. I think a lot why bother going on,. .....lost all interest in life. no appetite, no interest in my home life., I just don't know how long I can take this,. im so sad,. sorry for this and what has happened,. I don't know if I want to be here anymore,.

Sammiipants Tough situation, emotional abuse.. Don't know what to do!
  • replies: 3

Hi All, So for the past almost 12 months I have been with a man who I thought was perfect. We fell for each other quite quickly and soon after, fell pregnant. Throughout pregnancy he was so supportive in regards to anything to do with the baby. A few... View more

Hi All, So for the past almost 12 months I have been with a man who I thought was perfect. We fell for each other quite quickly and soon after, fell pregnant. Throughout pregnancy he was so supportive in regards to anything to do with the baby. A few issues did arise in other areas of our relationship though, such as jealousy, he would get upset if I didn't call him 'babe', accused me of inviting my ex to our home while he was at work, would ignore me for hours or after a small argument would take off and be uncontactable for hours.. It was all so emotionally draining. I never ever did anything wrong by him or to intentionally upset him, unless I needed to address something of course. When we would argue it would turn into a massive game of he said, she said. He would constantly tell me "No, I didn't say that! Of course you don't remember, you always focus on other stuff instead of our relationship" Always made me question my recollection of events and conversations even though I was certain in what I remembered. These situations were few and far between so even though I saw them as red flags, we got through. When it was good, it was great. Towards the end of pregnancy, however, these situations started to occur more frequently. When our son was born he had some feeding complications. Was a very stressful time for us both. When he was 5 weeks old, we had a rough night. This resulted in an argument the following morning where I was called names, he told me he was over my moods, over our relationship and then he threatened to take our son. I called the police to stop him, long story short he has been living with his mother ever since. I have met up with him on average maybe once a week since then so he could see his son, mainly because we have a strict routine with feeding and expressing that I need to be at home for. I have another son from a previous relationship that I would rather was kept out of this negativity and I am on the other side of the country from any family so I have no support. I have appointments and general errands I need to run on a weekly basis. I'm exhausted. He has told me he wants to go to mediation. Legal aid won't get back to me. If I'm busy at a time when he wants to see his son then I'm "not letting him see his son". He told my neighbours I have Post Natal Depression - I don't, I was tested and came back clear! I swear he is trying to break me! I am doing the best job I can for my two children. I don't know what to do.