Relationship and family issues

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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timesaretough My husband has prescription drug addiction and has been lying to me-what do i do
  • replies: 4

My husband of 8 years, partner of 18 years has had a bad run with illness. It started about 5 years ago and has been in and out of hospital with surgeries. Within this time, he has grown an addiction to opioids. I didn't actually know about the addic... View more

My husband of 8 years, partner of 18 years has had a bad run with illness. It started about 5 years ago and has been in and out of hospital with surgeries. Within this time, he has grown an addiction to opioids. I didn't actually know about the addiction at first, just felt like I wasn't getting any attention. I stupidly talked to my male boss about it which then lead to a brief affair. My husband was so broken from it and I wish I could take it back, to date it was my biggest regret. Since then, he has been on and off the drugs, at one point he was so high from mixing drugs that he was unable to hold a conversation and was sent home by his boss-he was very lucky to not get fired! We looked at treatment, but they wanted to put him on a methadone program-is that even normal?? He refused to speak to anyone and told me he was done with them. Just tonight I found out that he is still using them by Dr shopping, going t 2 different doctors to get them. I'm at the end of my rope. I have paid for what I've done, but seem to be still dealing with his issues and feeling like it will never end. He won't see anyone, so what do I do? Ultimatum?

baw21 Stepdad passed away now I feel lost
  • replies: 4

My stepdad passed away 6 weeks ago and Ive never been through heartache like this before. Neither has my mum. I feel so lost and my emotions are up and down. I don’t know if I should move back to my home town to my mum and leave behind a great job an... View more

My stepdad passed away 6 weeks ago and Ive never been through heartache like this before. Neither has my mum. I feel so lost and my emotions are up and down. I don’t know if I should move back to my home town to my mum and leave behind a great job and amazing city. I’m just not happy here where I am currently living now he has passed away. I just don’t know what to do.

msanders993 No friends, going on ten years
  • replies: 6

Sorry if this post is a bit long. I just feel intensely lonely and I’m sick of it. Usual story of I was massively bullied throughout high school. Changed schools to see if things would get better, they didn’t, if anything things got worse. That was w... View more

Sorry if this post is a bit long. I just feel intensely lonely and I’m sick of it. Usual story of I was massively bullied throughout high school. Changed schools to see if things would get better, they didn’t, if anything things got worse. That was when I was fifteen. I’m now 25, I live out of home, I have a great job, I am well-liked at work, I’m friendly and outgoing, I am an attractive young person. But things are still the same. The one friend I did have is now married, and I can just see she’s getting busier and busier (I don’t blame her) but I have no one else to fall back on. I didn’t see her much in the first place, I would just always make myself available when she was. How am I supposed to care about life when I have no one to share moments and memories with. Even if I do stuff for other people or in groups I am just that acquaintance, not someone to invite over because everyone already has their friends they’ve been friends with for years, so they don’t need anyone else. I just see that no one needs me in their life. I’m just a friendly face at work. That’s it. If I were to disappear no one would notice. No one would care. I’m not suicidal, as I still live in hope, but after ten years it’s hard to hold onto the belief that anyone will just pop up out of the blue, and I feel nothing I can do will change that.

MissM06 26, friendless and confused
  • replies: 2

Hi all, I’m new here so don’t really know how or where to start. I’m 26 female and have battled with anxiety on and off since a young age, and depression which surfaced a few years ago. Lately I have been feeling quite down and sad about my life. I h... View more

Hi all, I’m new here so don’t really know how or where to start. I’m 26 female and have battled with anxiety on and off since a young age, and depression which surfaced a few years ago. Lately I have been feeling quite down and sad about my life. I have a partner of 5 years but absolutely no friends and no one to talk to apart from my partner (this is something that really upsets me sometimes as much as I try to pretend it doesn’t), I work one day a fortnight (haven’t been able to find another job), I have my license but can’t afford a car so I don’t drive, spend most of my time at home, have no real hobbies, and feel like my days are just slipping away from me. I had friends in high school and we all just drifted apart. I went to uni but struggled quite a bit and ended up dropping out. I made one “friend” while I was there and as soon as I left they stopped talking to me. I just can’t seem to make real friends. On the occasion I go out somewhere and meet someone new, I will chat with them, add them on social media and try to get to know them, only to get nowhere. I feel like no one really wants to get to know me or be my friend. I just don’t understand what I’m doing wrong? On top of that I’ve been feeling my relationship with my partner has changed a lot. We haven’t had sex in 6 months. We still kiss and cuddle, laugh, have so much fun together. But the sexual side of the relationship isn’t there. I feel like it’s my fault because I don’t want to have sex. And I don’t know if it’s because I don’t want to have sex with my partner, or because I don’t want to have sex in general. My partner is so great and supportive, but the whole sexless dynamic makes me question whether it’s run its course and we’re now more best friends than partners, or whether my depression and what I’m feeling could be the culprit. It constantly has me confused about what to do. I’m friendless, confused in my relationship, feeling so alone and like I’ve accomplished nothing in life. The way I feel about my life is not how I want it to be. Where do I start?

Samb1987 Family financial parenting life
  • replies: 1

Well i have just had throat surgery and to wake up to find out i have to pay $5526 back in child support as my daughter went to live with my mum i was still buying recharges clothes having her at least every second weekend paying her school bills uni... View more

Well i have just had throat surgery and to wake up to find out i have to pay $5526 back in child support as my daughter went to live with my mum i was still buying recharges clothes having her at least every second weekend paying her school bills uniform etc and giving her 100 a month we are going through such a hard financial time with me having time off due to possible thyroid cancer my 2 year old and 5 year old having alot of behaviour and sensory issues to now my eldest self-harming needing mental health assessments and the list goes on can i argue this i cant afford whats ahead with all these extra bills ive already been down since my marrige is failing and work refurbing so may not have a job

Riptide Being open with each other..
  • replies: 1

Hey I'm just looking for some advice. I've been dating this guy for a couple months, he struggles with depression and feelings of low self worth. I can understand where he is coming from as I also experience similar problems. Just two issues I've not... View more

Hey I'm just looking for some advice. I've been dating this guy for a couple months, he struggles with depression and feelings of low self worth. I can understand where he is coming from as I also experience similar problems. Just two issues I've noticed lately. He usually shares how he feels and talks to me about where his head is at but recently he has started saying that it doesn't matter and just closing up. I let him know I am here for him and that it does matter but it doesn't help. I'm not sure if he's started doing this because of other reasons or because I usually close up when talking about my thoughts and feelings.. I've always had trouble opening up and sharing my thoughts and feelings about things with people and I am still having that trouble with him. Not as much though, I think I'm more open with him than anyone else in my life but I'm still not open enough. Part of it is that I don't want to put my problems onto him as he already has so much going on. And the other part is.. I don't really know? I know I need to be more open and I want to be but I just can't seem to let myself? I want us to work out and I think my inability to be open is just going to ruin things. I can see that he's getting more and more frustrated when I just close up and push him away. I can understand why he feels that way but I'm just struggling to let him in. I guess I'm just looking for advice on supporting him more? And advice for myself - how can I become more open?

Indelibleredemption BF is going through depression and has completely cut me out.
  • replies: 5

First time poster, long time reader. I have been with my bf for 7 months, we met and fell hard and fast and things were amazing for 6 months. He had mentioned his past battles with depression, and I have seen his anxiety attacks happen through out ou... View more

First time poster, long time reader. I have been with my bf for 7 months, we met and fell hard and fast and things were amazing for 6 months. He had mentioned his past battles with depression, and I have seen his anxiety attacks happen through out our relationship, but i was always able to help him and he wanted me around at those times. This is different now. It's been about 4 weeks of our relationship not being okay, and now that I look back, I feel so horrible for taking it so personally and being so selfish thinking that he was pulling away on purpose and didn't care about me anymore and I forced us to have conversations that may have resulted in what is happening now. He has now said he needs space and that he doesn't want me contacting him. I'm worried. He said he hasn't left his house all week and doesn't want to talk to anybody. So I've been trying to just get 1 response a day from him so I know he's okay. But I'm struggling with keeping my cool and finding the balance between being there for him and giving him space. Will he come back to me if I stop messaging or calling ? We haven't had one conversation since.

ChadC2018 I feel like I have made a huge Mistake
  • replies: 2

I'll try to keep this short. I have been friends with a girl for 8 years now. And I've started to develop feelings for her in the last 2 years. Now only just recently has she started to ignore me, or message me back. And I realised it was because I w... View more

I'll try to keep this short. I have been friends with a girl for 8 years now. And I've started to develop feelings for her in the last 2 years. Now only just recently has she started to ignore me, or message me back. And I realised it was because I was a bit much for her. Which I do totally understand. So I tried giving her space for a month or two. I asked her if it would be okay if I talk to her after uni exams. She did say yes. Now I'm pretty sure that after that point I screwed up heaps. She did manage to get angry at me. Tried being nice as possible though saying I should have given her space. But the problem was my grudge for her not talking to me for months kicked in, and I got a bit mad about that. The next day what made me very upset was a forum that she admin's. I was told to slow down on my positing overwise I would be blocked. I was pretty offended with that. That was when I un-friended her, and Blocked her on facebook. I have since then apologised twice for that. Now when she blocked me on instagram I did get hurt. Because she was a really good friend to me, and I felt very rejected. So I can understand where she was coming from. I made the mistake of saying "Goodbye" to her on facebook. "I said it was probably for the best", and if she didn't want me to be in her life i was okay with that. Trying to sound nice. I still feel like I hurt her feelings big time. Ever since then I'm regretting what I said to her every day, and It is affecting me at work as well, as my boss can see it. I really don't know what to do at this point. I feel like I want to send her a letter to apologise but I think that would make things even worse. Or say How I really feel, and how this is affecting me right now. Personally I really wish we just talked about it. As I feel like both of us have issues with each other. Personally I feel like she does not have feelings for me. Which I'm okay with but I'm pretty upset that a good friendship was ruined over me being this stupid. Do you think distance away completely will help settle this????

Anne74 Feeling very confused by boyfriends behaviour
  • replies: 3

In the last couple of months i have started to feel like i dont want to be with my bf of 41/2 yrs anymore due to his behaviours. I feel constantly under scrutiny and like i cant do anything right, he gets angry at the smallest of things and then wont... View more

In the last couple of months i have started to feel like i dont want to be with my bf of 41/2 yrs anymore due to his behaviours. I feel constantly under scrutiny and like i cant do anything right, he gets angry at the smallest of things and then wont talk to me for days cos he is angry and ignores my attempts to talk to him during this time, he doesnt seem to appreciate the effort i put into the relationship or when i do something new he says things like "what took you so long to do that", he often cuts me off when im trying to talk and shuts me down saying things like "if you dont shut up you know where the door is" and im not yelling or being crazy just trying to talk about something weve had an argument over, he gets angry if i take a long time to get back to him if i miss a call or text but meanwhile he only answers me when he wants to, and i also feel like he is not interested in what i do on a daily basis showing little interest or asking me what ive been doing all day with a smart tone. I have depression and anxiety and most of my days are filled with just trying to get by and constantly fighting my negative thoughts. Im exhausted and dont need to be treated like a second class person. I just dont know what to do can someone give me some guidance??

Mlitzah Parental alienation
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I don’t know how I got here. I bought 4 children up by myself. Their father had little to do with them. I battled on for decades. These children of mine are all grown up. One son abused me 10 years ago and I have had nothing to do with him. Another s... View more

I don’t know how I got here. I bought 4 children up by myself. Their father had little to do with them. I battled on for decades. These children of mine are all grown up. One son abused me 10 years ago and I have had nothing to do with him. Another son sent me a text 3 years ago stating he knew all about me (from a conversation with a younger sister who I had told not to rely on me to support her anymore) and wanted nothing further to do with me. A younger daughter who I have just spent the last 5 years launching on to the world, is married and has 2 children, now , this year wants nothing further to do with me. And now spends a lot of time with her brothers. Another daughter, who just this week tells me to leave this married daughter alone. So I sit here, ashamed, that my relationships with my children have deteriorated so badly. I cant do anything about it. I find calling, texting or emailing, embarrassing. I know the dynamics of others around them had contributed to this estrangement. Some family members and friends are aware of this alienation I have with my four children. I think it’s beginning to affect my mental health. I wonder what was the point of me working so hard over the last 35 years in raising them. One thing I have recognised was when they were little, and had returned from a weekend with their father they would take their anger out on me for several days. It is something I put up with for years. My children using me as a battering ramp to their disenchantment with the world. And this continues in their adulthood. I’m now getting too old to cope. And my children could care less ....