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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Missunderstood_01 I need some advice.
  • replies: 2

Ive been in this relationship for 4 years now. We moved up to the country when my partner lost his job and my family couldnt help but his dad could. So we moved in with him. It was only suposed to be for a few months this till we both got work and co... View more

Ive been in this relationship for 4 years now. We moved up to the country when my partner lost his job and my family couldnt help but his dad could. So we moved in with him. It was only suposed to be for a few months this till we both got work and could find our own place. I got fulltime work and he could not. So he was on the dole untill recently. This was then nearly a year and a half. We needed to move out of his fathers rental as it was being sold. I figured we would find our own place but he said his dad couldnt afford to live on his own. I didnt want him to come along but he begged and i agreed. Weve all signed into a two year lease and he keeps promising his dad will travel and go and we can be left alone. This changes every so often to he has to stay because he is to old to look after himself and he is too depressed. This id a man that only now after years of crime, alchole abuse and dug abuse thats decided to somehwat take care of himself. I grt it's his father but i didn't sign up to have him around 24/7 because he abuses smoke all the time he wont have anyone around to look after him. Ive tried to get along and ive tried to be ok with it but my biggest problem is, I'm in this relationship with his son not him. I want his son my partner around. I cant be myself with someones parent around 24/7. Hell i can't even do anything without it being wrong becauae its not what he would do. His dad dispite knowing how i feel wont leave. Threatens too when we ague but wont leave. Ive even asked if i could move out into my own place but if i do that then he says i dont care or love him and just want to leave. We argue so much money is tight and even harder to watch when he goes out of his way to pay for stuff for his dad then has the nerve to tell me off if i dont have money to contribute more. I know its his dad i get that but why csnt he do this in his own home? I'm so upset all the time and i hate coming home because i know ill see him and hes always running around doing shit for him. I just want to know if I'm overeacting or if what im feeling it ok.

Clare72 Alcoholic son
  • replies: 3

Don't know if I am in the right area but my son who is 50 is an alcoholic. He lives with us and causes us such stress as he calls us all sorts of names. He has not been violent but can be very abusive. We took him in several years ago after his wife ... View more

Don't know if I am in the right area but my son who is 50 is an alcoholic. He lives with us and causes us such stress as he calls us all sorts of names. He has not been violent but can be very abusive. We took him in several years ago after his wife left him and he had no where to go. I have asked many times for him to leave but he just ignores me. He has been having treatment for PTS for many years but there has been no improvement. The doctor just keeps giving him more and more heavy drugs. I don't know what to do.

Nikkibear He doesn’t understand
  • replies: 4

Both my partner and I suffer from anxiety and depression and work in progressions that deal with mental health. a few weeks ago I told my partner that I have been feeling suicidal again which I didn’t want to do because I don’t want extra attention f... View more

Both my partner and I suffer from anxiety and depression and work in progressions that deal with mental health. a few weeks ago I told my partner that I have been feeling suicidal again which I didn’t want to do because I don’t want extra attention from him, I just want to be me. He has been asking me how I feel since and my responses have been “ok” or “good” he keeps reacting to this as me keeping my feelings inside. I tried to explain to him that me being ok is me actually being ok because I’m alive today. I feel like the best I can be is alive right now. We have also been fighting heaps and he keeps throwing it in my face that I am not fighting for us anymore. I told him I have no fight in me for anything at the moment. I love him and no doubt I am pushing him away because right now I don’t want to be alive let alone fight to be alive. I just want him to be there and be normal. Why can’t he give me that! It takes a lot for me to open up. Maybe I need to let him walk away so he doesn’t have to deal with my depression. I always feel like it’s not ok for me not be ok when I am around him.

Summer_Time_Rain Homesickness/Separation Anxiety as an Adult.
  • replies: 1

I moved out of home this time last year (to a different state) and really struggled with homesickness. It has now been 12 months and I thought the homesickness would have pasted, but it honestly feels exactly the same as when I first left. I feel lik... View more

I moved out of home this time last year (to a different state) and really struggled with homesickness. It has now been 12 months and I thought the homesickness would have pasted, but it honestly feels exactly the same as when I first left. I feel like crying when I'm alone and think about home or my family, I have nightmares and trouble sleeping and often feel super anxious for no reason. Part of me is telling myself to go home because I will be alot happier there, however I will be giving up a massive career pathway. I don't want to leave if this homesickness phase will end but at this current point in time I can't see myself being happy here. I live everyday counting down til the next time I get to go home or see my family again, which I feel is an unhealthy way of living - Counting down rather than enjoying every day as it comes. Has anyone experienced this and found ways of over coming it, or any general tips to making my days a bit brighter? Thank you!

Bec2014 Partner always away for work, stress taking a toll on relationship and mental health
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone, my husband travels a lot for work, domestically at least twice a week and internationally about five times a year. I’m a self-employed mum who works at home while looking after our two-year-old, and another baby on the way. Husband has j... View more

Hi everyone, my husband travels a lot for work, domestically at least twice a week and internationally about five times a year. I’m a self-employed mum who works at home while looking after our two-year-old, and another baby on the way. Husband has just returned from two weeks abroad and I have found it extremely difficult on my own. Our two year old is going through a rough patch and not sleeping, which in turn means I have sleep deprivation and that seems to make my morning sickness worse. As such, I haven’t been able to complete work and deadlines are piling up. He’s come home and just completely oblivious (or unwilling to see) that I am extremely rundown, and this happens after most trips. Our intimacy is non-existent and I often feel alone. Because I freelance and work largely from home, he really doesn’t take my employment seriously (as I’m also not breadwinner), but the work is more for my mental balance than anything! He maintains that he truly does believe in an equal parenting balance, but it doesn’t happen. I do all the running around and am left to do work in whatever night hours I can steal at the moment. When my husband is home, he’ll be on his computer catching up on work. I’ve sat down with him several times to explain my health is affected and I’d appreciate a cut down on work travel, at which point he gets defensive and quite sulky. I’m well aware there are other parents In his company and flexibility would be available if he asked for it. I am absolutely terrified at the thought of not being able to handle two children and as such, feel incredibly incompetent. I’ve also suggested counselling but admittedly there’s been no follow-through from either of us. Thank you to those who have read my rambling thus far. I’m just trying to get some advice on partners in a similar situation - how did you make the parenting balance truly equal for both of you? I do find it quite hard at the moment and the lack of balance or respect for my needs is really making me resentful and I do worry that I might be better off alone. I’d hate for our relationship to end on account of his work. thank you

Courtlee Feeling out of place and relationship troubles with my mum
  • replies: 1

So I have recently enrolled in to tafe and it will take up 5 days a week from 9 to 5. Leaving me with only the weekends to work. Before enrolling I asked my mum if I could live with her until tafe has finished(6 months). Now all of a sudden she has t... View more

So I have recently enrolled in to tafe and it will take up 5 days a week from 9 to 5. Leaving me with only the weekends to work. Before enrolling I asked my mum if I could live with her until tafe has finished(6 months). Now all of a sudden she has told me that she is planning to move to a 2 bedroom house that will only fit her and my sister. It’s made me really upset as I always feel like she loves my sister way more than me and does not care about my feelings or me at all. It has really upset me and I don’t know what to do about it. I would not have started to study if I knew she was going to move and I thought she should of let me know before I started my course and made a life changing decision.

Sufferinginsilence Not sure what to do
  • replies: 4

This is my first time reaching out like this. Not sure what to do, long story short my wife has family in NSW we lived in WA. She wanted to be closer to her family we went to visit over christmas and in that time she accepted a transfer and stayed th... View more

This is my first time reaching out like this. Not sure what to do, long story short my wife has family in NSW we lived in WA. She wanted to be closer to her family we went to visit over christmas and in that time she accepted a transfer and stayed there with my 2 kids 2 year old and a nearly 1 year old. We had planned to move together but instead she decided to move straight away. A week after i got to perth I recieved a really long text message saying that she has decided that she no longer wants to be with me anymore and its not worth doing long distance. I have tried to work this out. Now because of this i very intermitantely get to speak to my kids. She rings me every night just to keep the peace. It seems like she had planned this and not told me. If i want to see my kids i have to move over east to try and reconcile things, its crushing me as we were happy while on holiday. When i call her she is always "busy" and i just recieve one word answers to everything. I cant move until april but im at a loss what to do. I love her but it seems like she doesnt love me anymore.

Toretto Marriage failing because of cheating wife
  • replies: 14

Hi, i've been with my wife for over 21 years and we have a large family together. It's been 2 years since her last affair and i still can't lose the bad memories / thoughts and end up feeling anxious and depressed. And 2 years later i'm still on anti... View more

Hi, i've been with my wife for over 21 years and we have a large family together. It's been 2 years since her last affair and i still can't lose the bad memories / thoughts and end up feeling anxious and depressed. And 2 years later i'm still on anti depressants because of her. She has cheated on me twice that i know of. The last time was the worst and has affected me the most (she still works at the same place as him). We went to marriage counselling and individual counselling for about 6 months to try and get past it. We stopped counselling as she said that she'd had enough and we didn't need it anymore. I know the old saying "once a cheater, always a cheater" and i can definitely see that, as it's already happened twice that i know of. I'm at a point where i don't want to put myself all out there for our relationship as i don't want to get hurt like that again. I've been trying to distance myself from her a little and she has noticed that i've been acting "different". Now she is constantly tagging me in social media posts and photos and trying to be nice. I really dont know what to do. We have a large family with mortgage, loans, etc, etc. so i know it's going to be very messy. She is the type who will take me for everything and be really nasty. Thanks

Bee1998 Boyfriend Is Paying For Nudes
  • replies: 9

So, I have been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years now , and throughout the second year of our relationship, I have caught him paying for nudes behind my back. His excuse is always , “that wasn’t me”, or “that was ages ago”. He thinks it doesn’t... View more

So, I have been with my boyfriend for just over 2 years now , and throughout the second year of our relationship, I have caught him paying for nudes behind my back. His excuse is always , “that wasn’t me”, or “that was ages ago”. He thinks it doesn’t matter because it didn’t happen on the day I caught him. even before we started dating I expressed very clearly how I feel about porn in a relationship, and that if he wanted to watch it , that’s fine, but I didn’t want to be put through that. Regardless of me expressing how I feel about the matter, he still went and did it behind my back. Not once, not twice, heaps of times.... I just can’t get my head around it, as there is so much FREE porn on the internet, so why would anyone go out of their way to PAY for nudes...???? I don’t get it. It’s more personal , and a way bigger deal to me, as I see this as a form of cheating. i know I should leave him, but I can’t help but think and feel that I’ve wasted 2 years of my life , but throwing it away. Has anyone else been through something similar/is going through this right now? I need help

WinnieBear Binge Drinking Partner
  • replies: 8

Hi everyone, Thanks for clicking on this post. My boyfriend (mid 40s) loves to drink on weekends and does so regularly. It's so bad that he can't just have a few and really binges. He has told me before that he knows he shouldn't drink so much, but a... View more

Hi everyone, Thanks for clicking on this post. My boyfriend (mid 40s) loves to drink on weekends and does so regularly. It's so bad that he can't just have a few and really binges. He has told me before that he knows he shouldn't drink so much, but at the same time he doesnt stop. We live together, but it's at a point where I would rather he go out so I don't have to see him in a drunken state. I wait until he calls, pick him up and help him get into bed. I'm sure I'm enabling some how, but I don't know what to do. Should I make him find his own way home, look after myself on the weekends. I just don't know what to do, I don't really know what I'm trying to say... Appreciate any advice or to chat with those going through the same. Thanks