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My 16 year old brother is insufferable

spontaneous sunflower
Community Member

I'm 17 (F) and I have three brothers. Two are older (24 and 22) and one is younger. They're all living at home and they all get on my nerves time to time, but the youngest gets on my nerves (and everyone else's nerves for that matter) 24/7 and it's becoming so much that I genuinely wish I could just move out.

Where do I even start? I guess I should describe the type of person he is.

Like most 16 year olds, he is clearly going through that "it has be be my way, no one understands me, I'm too cool for everyone, life sucks, etc" phase. God I hope it's just a phase, because he takes it next level. He is so arrogant, ungrateful, rude and disrespectful. He talks down to women, even his own Mum, his own sister (me) and his friend/girlfriend (don't even know if he has a girlfriend, he seems to talk to a lot of girls). He talks back to everyone. He's so blindly ungrateful but he calls me spoiled? I am sure I have my moments, and my mum says that he's jealous of me because I get more attention.. but that's only because I am grateful, I do stuff around the house and I actually spend time with my parents, so of course I get "more attention". As the youngest, he has been plenty "spoiled" and loved, my parents always ask him if he wants to go to the shops with us or go out for coffee and he always says no, and then complains about it later.

He gets away with everything, not because my parents are bad parents but because he has no respect and finds a loophole around everything. He sneaks out, he smokes weed in his room, he steals cigarettes. His bedroom is next to mine and he keeps me up by talking loud to his friends or worst of all, I've heard him doing stuff with a girl a few times. When he's being loud and it's past midnight, i try telling him to shut up but it's no use. He doesn't listen, and even when my parents tell him off, he still doesn't listen.

He is so rude to me. He's called me names, made hurtful jokes about my appearance and overall he just walks all over me. I know brothers can be like that sometimes, but my other two brothers are much nicer, this one is just blatantly rude. He's even said rude hurtful jokes to our own Mum. He says he's just joking, but no matter how much we tell him off for taking jokes too far, he doesn't care or see what he's doing wrong.

I've done so much for him and he takes it all for granted. I'm so fed up with him, as is everyone else. He has his decent moments but overall he's awful and no one knows how to control him.

1 Reply 1

Community Member

I really feel for you. I have a similar situation; with my own son! He is 16 too and is rude, disrespectful, lazy, entitled and down right a p i t a to live with.

I have set some ground rules. If he keeps me up whilst on his pc I take the modem away. If he wants to lose his u know what and threated suicide I call the ambos. Anything to make him accountable.

Sounds to me your brother needs boundaries also. I think he needs to see a counsellor perhaps. Being a parent to one of these kids is a nightmare but to be a sibling would be worse as you would feel you had zero control.

Have you sat him down and had a heart to heart with him about how upset he makes you? In a kind fashion; I know; just about impossible to do when you really just want to yell at him! Have your older brothers had a word to him? Someone needs to take control of the reins here. And it isn't you. You are struggling yourself and do not need his b...sh..!

I wish you luck. I too had a brother like him when I was 17 and he drove me to live with my Aunt as I couldn't even study when he was around...he used to rev his motorbike up on purpose and play awful loud punk music...aarrgghhh....bloody selfish!!