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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Financialad429 I’m only attracted to someone with a severe personality disorder, anyone else similar?
  • replies: 5

-He’s married but left his wife and son for faraway job – says he just felt like it, for $/selfishness/ freedom , and his family cried for him to stay and he ignored. In the meantime, he told me, he asked his old GF to move w him instead, then went b... View more

-He’s married but left his wife and son for faraway job – says he just felt like it, for $/selfishness/ freedom , and his family cried for him to stay and he ignored. In the meantime, he told me, he asked his old GF to move w him instead, then went back on it. Says His wife briefly thew him out & his ex tried to commit suicide bc of him. -Initially led me to believe he’s getting divorced, but then went back on it for his son’s sake/ so he doesn’t need to give away $. Freaked out over 1 pic of us I posted and said he wouldnt be allowed to see his kid. -at all points he’d tell me he’d never want to, or even could be, in another relationship bc there’d always be expectations he couldn’t meet and he will never be able to fully be w anyone -he would say passionate things in text but always in person was cold and detached/ like always left right after sex, if I ever put an affectionate hand on me he’d remove it -Says he’s a sociopath and feels nothing. After telling me we would only ever be friends tried to make me feel badly for seeing other men and then I asked him about one girl liking all his social media. He said a bunch of elaborate stuff about how he wanted her and they were close in the past, then said he made it up to get me to move on, then she defriended / blocked him. Then suddenly he’s going to a party w her and bringing his son allegedly buT at very same time sexting me and making plans to meet up with me again for sex -When I talked to his wife first she accused me of making up the account w screenshots, then said ok whatever he’s playing you too; let me know when you make it publicly official very concerned about why I love this person and would do anything to make it work.

Nellie60 MY BIG HEART OF HELPING SOMEONE IN NEED HAS CAUSED DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY
  • replies: 6

During covid my daughter in laws sister was kicked out of home, so it didn't impact my son and his family to much I offered her to temporarily move in with me whilst she was looking for something. Its being 6 weeks and there has being a few problems,... View more

During covid my daughter in laws sister was kicked out of home, so it didn't impact my son and his family to much I offered her to temporarily move in with me whilst she was looking for something. Its being 6 weeks and there has being a few problems, it's being brought up with her about finding her own place with some assistance from her sister in looking. Now I have said I need to be organised by Christmas and for her to keep looking its caused friction between me and the daughter in law to the extreme she wants to leave my son and go live with her sister. This has caused me depression high bp, I feel I have being taken advantage of.

Sas94 Loneliness after separation - Single Mum
  • replies: 3

Hi I am very new to sharing like this. I'm 4 months separated from an abusive ex. I live alone pretty much with my 6 month old. (When I say 'pretty much' I mean majority of the time we are home alone, my father lives with us but only really stops In ... View more

Hi I am very new to sharing like this. I'm 4 months separated from an abusive ex. I live alone pretty much with my 6 month old. (When I say 'pretty much' I mean majority of the time we are home alone, my father lives with us but only really stops In once a week and is off again to work. So I am alone which I struggle with, I fill my days by going out for coffee or op shopping or parks. But at night is the hardest time for me. is there anyone in a similar situation up for a chat or maybe have some advice ?

Elsam Feeling so desperate
  • replies: 56

I am desperate, I have had to take Valium tonight to ease my Anxiety i am so in love with this man, he has pursued me for 5 mths and we have seen each other twice. i told him on Wednesday night that I am so attracted to him and he replied: Oh boy... ... View more

I am desperate, I have had to take Valium tonight to ease my Anxiety i am so in love with this man, he has pursued me for 5 mths and we have seen each other twice. i told him on Wednesday night that I am so attracted to him and he replied: Oh boy... Blushing I replied: You wanted to know! i want to message him but am so scared of scaring him off or losing him. I feel such an amazing connection with him and feel so crazy in love with him i don’t know what to do, the waiting is killing me! Why has been become distant? Is he thinking about me being attracted or is he is getting his thoughts together or is he ignoring me?? I don’t know what to do with him! Do I send a message and say: Are you not talking to me now? Or it would be nice to know if you are not talking to me now? But that makes me look desperate! I sent him a nice message this morning: Happy Friday! Hope you have a nice day! xx Got no response I am dying with anxiety and can only think he is with another woman! I cannot think straight

puzzlegirl Is this wrong?
  • replies: 40

Hello, and apologies for the crass-ness of this post. I am in the middle of a marriage that is completely disintegrated. He doesn't love me, doesn't want me. Recently told me he doesn't want to have sex with me. Then the next day tells me he doesn't ... View more

Hello, and apologies for the crass-ness of this post. I am in the middle of a marriage that is completely disintegrated. He doesn't love me, doesn't want me. Recently told me he doesn't want to have sex with me. Then the next day tells me he doesn't think it's wrong for another girl to give him oral sex, and vice versa. We have always been monogamous, and he has said that sex is the line that crosses into an affair. Mind you, the relationship he has had with a woman these last 4 years I already consider an affair. Now with this new relaxed morality I've heard from him, I am questioning whether these two have already crossed that line? I certainly feel that there is nothing sacred left in my marriage, and this makes me feel even more like dirt. Do you think he's crossed the line? Or am I being super moral and should I lower my standards also? He also encouraged me to go out and find a man to give oral sex to. It just makes me feel worthless. I'm just not sure if my view is clouded by my hurts. Thanks for your input.

_M_ Clinically Depressed Boyfriend And What Do I Do?
  • replies: 3

Hello, I would like advice on how to continue connecting with my boyfriend. We have been dating for 4 months. (I know it may not seem long but he's extremely important to me). He has been clinically depressed for over 3 years. Our relationship began ... View more

Hello, I would like advice on how to continue connecting with my boyfriend. We have been dating for 4 months. (I know it may not seem long but he's extremely important to me). He has been clinically depressed for over 3 years. Our relationship began quite well and it has had its small depressive moments and fights however through communication and support from some friends we were able to overcome those. However, he has hit a really deep depressive state. He has asked me last night that we take a 4 week break. we talked it through and I agreed if it would help him then I could do that. During our conversation I asked him what has initiated the break. He said he isn't interested in anything anymore (which is true he has stopped doing the activities that he usually likes doing) and anything intimate with me it doesn't interest him anymore (ik he isn't cheating). He has had a lot of trouble focusing and has had recent suicidal thoughts. I felt like I shouldn't leave him during this time. However, he made it clear he needs a break and it wasn't just with me but with his best friends as well. I respected his decision and told him that I would be here to support him and if ever needed to talk. He set an estimated time in which he said he would contact me and I would like to know, how to treat this situation. I love and care for him deeply and it pains me to see him like this. I want to be someone he knows he can trust, but I know how unpredictable it can be when it comes to depression. Once he reaches out to me, how do I talk to him? He will currently start on antidepressants in a day. He has tried talking to a therapist in previous years however, he said that it didn't help him. He says that nothing seems to be working. He's embarrassed over the fact that he feels this way. He doesn't know why he feels this way. It's been weighing on him very heavily. Is there some sort of process that I would follow? It's been a day since we talked but I have spent the day researching depression to better understand it. I just want more insight into what's to be done or said when he reconnects? (and his best friend will keep an eye on him just in case, throughout the "break" weeks) Thank you, M

Jamie42 My friend is leaving because I asked for too much help
  • replies: 4

I’ve been leaning on my best mate too much for quite a while now, and the other day he started some new boundaries. I’m not allowed to call him when I’m suicidal anymore, and he wants me to tell some other people about my issues, and if I’m not getti... View more

I’ve been leaning on my best mate too much for quite a while now, and the other day he started some new boundaries. I’m not allowed to call him when I’m suicidal anymore, and he wants me to tell some other people about my issues, and if I’m not getting professional help by the end of the month then we can’t be friends anymore. I understand the reasons behind all of them and it’s good that he’s protecting himself but it hurts so much. I actually let myself believe that he wasn’t gonna leave me, I let myself believe that he was different. I still love him so much but now I cry every time I think about him. I don’t know how to deal with this. I know I need to put my walls back up but I can’t lie to him.

A_guy_called_John Unhappily married, fallen into an affair, now miserable, confused and feeling sick
  • replies: 9

I've been with my wife for 20 years (late teenagers) and married for 10 with children (all under 10). We have been through much in our time and have had our fair share of difficulties. I would even go as far to say as we have fought too much and lack... View more

I've been with my wife for 20 years (late teenagers) and married for 10 with children (all under 10). We have been through much in our time and have had our fair share of difficulties. I would even go as far to say as we have fought too much and lack enough fun through our time together. Unfortunately in the last 3 years we have drifted and I feel I have fallen out of love with my wife. Now we fight constantly and I don't have the patience I once did. Additionally I she forgoes things in her life (like travel, more friends) as this does work with me. So I feel like I'm stopping her living her best life. Add in the kids and life has gone into auto pilot. Bedroom intimacy has now largely disappeared. I have considered if leaving was an option many times during these past few years (my wife has even told me I should leave during many arguments). About 2 years ago this girl started work in our office. We quickly became good friends and refer to each other as work spouses. About 6 months ago at an after work gathering and a few beers things went a bit further than the normal flirtation of the past 2 years. We slept together. For the next two weeks we discussed what do next and move forward from the event. She is in a relationship (not married) which is on the rocks. Despite our attempts at breaking up and morals, we are still seeing each other. Our relationship has grown. I know this sounds cliche and I've read it over and over but we are a good fit together. I have feelings when I'm with her that I never had in the past. I did not know I could feel this way about someone else that wasn't my children. We both never wanted to be in an affair but we just want to spend all our time together. We fantasize about running away together or what our future would look like, pros and cons. Now my marriage has gotten worse (partly due to me having an affair) and I am considering if a divorce is the option. This is eating me up inside. I feel sick mentally and physically. I have gone off food, seeing friends and basically am an empty shell when I am not with her. If it wasn't for the kids this would not be so hard. Do I stay in an unhappy marriage for the children, or chase my happiness and cause them untold pain? I know only I can answer this, but I'm now at the point where this is consuming me entirely. I look and feel miserable and down, and feel so heavy with my circumstance, like I'm backed into a corner. I just don't know what to do next other than cry.

Mr K Has anyone used a collaborative Family Lawyer (Not looking for recommendations, just want to know if it works) or your experience.
  • replies: 1

Hi, I'm going through the motions of a separation. I'm not a financially motivated man and have been warned that this will result in my being taken advantage of. My Ex wants us to create a binding financial agreement through collaborative practice an... View more

Hi, I'm going through the motions of a separation. I'm not a financially motivated man and have been warned that this will result in my being taken advantage of. My Ex wants us to create a binding financial agreement through collaborative practice and I can't sleep worrying that I'm going to be left in a bad way and unable to provide the lifestyle I want to for my little girls. Thanks for sharing, K

MummaPetal Family relationships
  • replies: 2

Hi all, My partner and I separated earlier this year after 10+ years of being together. I have just only recently found out that my sister-n-law (on my side of the family) is keeping in regular contact with my ex's mother. My ex's parents have not ev... View more

Hi all, My partner and I separated earlier this year after 10+ years of being together. I have just only recently found out that my sister-n-law (on my side of the family) is keeping in regular contact with my ex's mother. My ex's parents have not even spoken to me since the break up. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I feel upset but I am not sure if I should be. I'm not the sort of person to stop any friendship but at the same time it's weird how my ex's parents have not made contact with me and yet still speak to some of my family. It's sort of weird in a way. I didn't have a good relationship with his parents, despite many efforts on my part to make it more harmonious. Can anyone share their ex-inlaws experience? Thanks