Dealing with FIFO loneliness

[Buzzybees101]

Hi all,

My boyfriend has a 3 weeks on, 3 weeks off FIFO roster which he started earlier in the year. We originally moved to our current city for a job I had applied for and got, which turned out to be not anything like what I was sold in the interview and I was fired a few weeks in for asking why I wasn't being taught things as promised in the interview, which is a whole other story. I have been job hunting for 6 months now, and so far haven't had any luck. I am not from Australia so have no family for support here.

I have always suffered with bad anxiety and of course being home alone while he worked, even before he got his FIFO job, made it worse. I don't know anyone in the city we live in and the closest people I know are in another state and I can't visit due to borders etc. When he is home, everything is amazing and I feel so happy, we are looking to move soon to be near the beach and to be closer to where I will be studying next year, and we adopted a kitten from a shelter who helps me so much (I think she senses when I am upset or anxious as she immediately will climb onto me and curl up on my chest purring!). But when he is away, I am struggling with being lonely and having no friends here, we talk daily usually on whatsapp as he has no service and bad wifi there, but he works 12 hour days and by the time he gets off work he only has an hour or so before he needs to go to sleep.

We have an amazing relationship and he is so patient and understanding and kind, and I know he is doing this to make our financial situation much better than it ever has been, there is no resentment on either side and I know he is doing it for us, he feels just as bad leaving me behind, I just need some help with how to cope with the loneliness I guess, I don't know where or how to make friends, usually I make friends through my jobs but I wasn't at the last one long enough! Are there any groups etc for partners of FIFO workers that anyone knows of? Or any other suggestions will be greatly appreciated! Thank you for reading 🙂

[Goldwing03]

Hi Buzzybees!

It's so good that you reached out! Loneliness can be really difficult. I want you to know there a whole community of people here who are willing to support you and be friends 🙂

This time for your relationship must be really difficult. Just trust that soon your financial situation will improve and the bad days will come to an end. If you are not in lockdown, it may be worth looking into some online clubs or programs which may help you find some new friends. For example; I recently found this school called the "Australian school of Practical Philosophy" which has some cheap online philosophy courses where you learn about new things and discuss these ideas with a group of people who have similar interests! There are zoom calls for it weekly and it's one example of different online activities which can be interesting.

Try to find something that you are interested in or even develop a new hobby!

Here to talk xx

[HappyHelper88]

Hello Buzzybees 101 Thanks for your post and welcome!

I'm so sorry to hear what happenend, Lockdown has affected so many people in terms of jobs and isolation from family, you are not alone and there is always support Around for you. Thank god with technology we can still talk on the phone or facetime.
I understand how being alone has made it worse, this is such a hard time not being able to even go interstate. Its so great you have a good relationship with your partner and will be busy studying next year, i have a puppy and he acts as an emotional support for me also.

I think keeping busy could really benefit you for example going for a long walk each day, exercising at home, taking up a hobby like painting, journal writing, watching your favourite movies, yoga or even cooking desserts for you both to enjoy when he gets home you can order things online for click and collect to keep busy and i think keeping busy helped me pass the time and enjoy being on my own. The lockdown will pass and things will get easier but keeping busy could help.

If you want to talk this through with a Beyond Blue counsellor, we’re on 1300 22 4636 or you can reach us on webchat. It can really help to talk things like this through. Please remember to reach out whenever you need to.

[Buzzybees101]

Hi,

Thank you so much for your response! It is nice knowing there are people out there to talk to!

It is tough when he is away, we both struggle with it and we are very open and talk about how we feel, it's really hard on us both but we are lucky that our relationship is strong and stable and there is no fighting or resentment surrounding it.

That is a really good idea - I will have to google some clubs etc too! I do love to draw and work on drawings when he is not here, which is nice as it takes up a decent chunk of time when I get into it, but I have to find something that lets me socialise too!

Thank you so much for reaching out 🙂

[Buzzybees101]

Hi, thank you for responding!

Agreed - since this whole pandemic started life has been pretty unpredictable job wise, we were very lucky in that we got to travel to other states and do farm work with border exemptions etc last year but now with his FIFO job and us needing to relocate for me to be able to study, it's not an option right now, and jobs doing what I am experienced in don't seem to be easy to get!

I really like your suggestions, I do try to go out for a walk each day, but sometimes my anxiety gets the better of me and I don't make it out that day! On the days I do get out I always feel much better, so I am working on getting a better hold of my fear but some days are better than others! Animals are the best aren't they, what breed is your puppy? I will probably reach out on webchat soon, it really does help to talk about it and get some ideas and suggestions! Thank you so much for reaching out 🙂