Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Start a discussion

GrandEntrance Trusting partner again
  • replies: 2

I caught my partner having sexual conversations with another woman online while I was 6 months pregnant with his baby. He fell to pieces when I confronted him, saying he was sorry & that he thought of it as a type of porn - he didn’t think of the oth... View more

I caught my partner having sexual conversations with another woman online while I was 6 months pregnant with his baby. He fell to pieces when I confronted him, saying he was sorry & that he thought of it as a type of porn - he didn’t think of the other person as real. I honestly wasn’t sure how to handle it at the time & have tried to move past it, but now I have constant anxiety that he’s doing it still & just better at hiding it (he works in IT so is far more educated about net usage than I am). I check his phone & computer history, which I know is wrong. But when I do find that he’s been watching porn, it makes me feel even more anxious that I’m not enough for him. I can’t stop worrying about it. He knows I still get anxious about it but we just don’t seem to make any progress...we’ve previously discussed counselling but haven’t since. I just don’t know how to trust him again, because I really want to

MartinW Recent diagnosis of Bi Polar
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone I was recently diagnosed with Bi Polar. I feel so very low at the moment. I cannot work. I could not drag myself out of bed this morning. My wife is at the end of her tether with me. We have 2 beautiful boys together and a nice home and I... View more

Hi everyone I was recently diagnosed with Bi Polar. I feel so very low at the moment. I cannot work. I could not drag myself out of bed this morning. My wife is at the end of her tether with me. We have 2 beautiful boys together and a nice home and I should be happy I feel hopeless and don’t want to be a burden to my wife any more I have a referral to a mental health clinic but there is a 3-4 week waiting period. I cannot work let alone function as a family man at the moment. I would really appreciate any advice Thanks Martin

Louise13 The guilt of living apart from family
  • replies: 2

Hi all, I’m needing some encouragement at the moment... from anyone who can help or who may be experiencing a similar situation to myself. I grew up in WA, all of my family and friends live there, but I moved to NSW with my partner in 2019 (his famil... View more

Hi all, I’m needing some encouragement at the moment... from anyone who can help or who may be experiencing a similar situation to myself. I grew up in WA, all of my family and friends live there, but I moved to NSW with my partner in 2019 (his family are in NSW). Because of COVID I’ve only just been able to come back to WA and visit my family after nearly 1.5 years. This has been incredibly hard for me, as I’m very close with my parents/sibling, and I feel heartbroken to see my nephews growing up so quickly and I feel like I am missing out on so much.. I’m feeling incredibly anxious about going back to NSW after my holiday in WA ends in 2 weeks. I feel guilty for leaving my family again, I’m scared that something will happen to them and I worry that I will regret having ever moved away. I’m particularly stressed about covid’s border closures with my grandparents being old, and am worried that if something were to happen to them that I may not be able to get home again. On top of this im finding it so hard to manage my time in WA. I feel there are so many people I should be catching up with, including my best friend. But I feel all I want to do is be with my parents, my brother and my nephews. I don’t want to disappoint others but I feel so anxious about spending time out with friends at the expense of precious time with my family who I have missed so so much.. I feel even more guilty complaining of this as I know so many other people have it worse off than me, like people with family overseas. But this is my experience and what I’m feeling. I feel so anxious, worried and sad about leaving again before I’ve even allowed myself time to enjoy being here... it’s making me question why I moved in the first place. But I am studying and hoping to get a new career, but it does make you question whether all of this “bettering yourself” is really worth it if you have to do it away from the people you love most..

Tonyl relationship advice needed Pre menopausal wife married couple in 40s
  • replies: 6

Hi all i am chasing some genuine advice from people who have been in a similar situation. there is not a lot of reading and advice out there about Pre Menopause and how partners can cope with the side effects of this- my partner is in the early stage... View more

Hi all i am chasing some genuine advice from people who have been in a similar situation. there is not a lot of reading and advice out there about Pre Menopause and how partners can cope with the side effects of this- my partner is in the early stages we have both noticed the changes. massive mood swings, irritability, the infrequent periods- complete loss of sex drive etc- all the tell tail signs. As a husband i am trying to be supportive and loving as much as i can. However the aggression and snapping becomes too much sometimes, and i am generally struggling. i read a lot about how the divorce rates are the highest in this bracket. i can really understand the pressures , however i really dont want to end up another statistic. any advice would be helpful - id also love to hear your story's

doctorwho parents separating
  • replies: 7

so I heard not long ago that my parents are separating, I was initially really upset about it and I am still a bit sad about it. the thing I don't understand though is that they have already both moved on so quickly, by that I mean trying to pursue s... View more

so I heard not long ago that my parents are separating, I was initially really upset about it and I am still a bit sad about it. the thing I don't understand though is that they have already both moved on so quickly, by that I mean trying to pursue something with other people. is this weird? I sort of found it weird? they are not even divorced yet. what do you think? would love to hear your thoughts below

FridayNext Does she love me anymore
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone, This is a little weird for me as I've never done this before and it is a tad overwhelming but I feel I've got nowhere else to turn and I just need help.... I'm in a happy and loving marriage and have been for the past 10 years. Well that... View more

Hi everyone, This is a little weird for me as I've never done this before and it is a tad overwhelming but I feel I've got nowhere else to turn and I just need help.... I'm in a happy and loving marriage and have been for the past 10 years. Well that is until about 1 year ago when things just started to exist. Passing one another in the corridor and making room for the other but the affection and intimacy has gone. It's almost like being roommates. There's no animosity or dislike it's just like my wife and I share a room. I've tried taking about it but I'm usually met with the "tired" reasoning and put off conversations. Now I find cannot talk about it anymore. I'm told that it's just a phase and that there are others with bigger problems and that this should put things into perspective. I just exist and this is starting to eat away at me. I find myself thinking that it must be my fault, that I'm unlovable or even likeable. That I haven't tried enough. I haven't many friends. In fact I could honestly say there is only one. She has been a great support to me but now I'm very conscious that she needs to get on with her life and I don't want to bother her with my problems. I feel I'm becoming a burden to those around me. I'm becoming withdrawn. I'm either angry or sad or frustrated all the time. I've got no more supports and I'm starting to crumble. Colleagues at work are noticing, despite putting on a face of normality everyday. I'm tired. I don't sleep. I just need help. I'm losing hope. I'm just losing and can't see a way out

Jess1114 How to support someone via long distance - my marriage is in trouble
  • replies: 2

My husband is currently in Perth while I am in Victoria. He has been there for eight weeks and with all of the issues around Covid I have not been able to visit him at all. Being in such a tough situation we have both been depressed, and have now hit... View more

My husband is currently in Perth while I am in Victoria. He has been there for eight weeks and with all of the issues around Covid I have not been able to visit him at all. Being in such a tough situation we have both been depressed, and have now hit a snag in the relationship. He is in a bad place mentally, and does not have any support around him. What is worse is that I am not sure he realises how deep of a depression he is in. I am trying to remain a beacon of light to guide him through the darkness, but he is pushing me away and I find that very hard to take sometimes. Overall what I am looking for, is some advice on how to deal with him in his depressed state, how I can support him and get through to him. We are seeing a couples counsellor online, due to have our second session next week. So in the meantime, I am doing my best but am interested to hear from others.

HelloMyNameIsDale Alienating people closest to me
  • replies: 10

I am feeling more and more distant from people who used to be my closest people. I am growing cynical of them and trust that but it's also super harmful for these friends and family. I know they arent kind people but it is scary to lose them and I am... View more

I am feeling more and more distant from people who used to be my closest people. I am growing cynical of them and trust that but it's also super harmful for these friends and family. I know they arent kind people but it is scary to lose them and I am the one initiating the questioning of relationship and it's been going to shit and I'm feeling like now I have no one.. can I be comfortable with being around unkind and non supportive people? I know this is a better solution rather than cutting them out. Please help

Von is lost Am I doing something wrong?
  • replies: 8

I realised that I have been single for four years today, with lots of failed relationship attempts in between. I’m almost turning 26 as well, and am starting to get a bit panicky about being single for so long. It’s not that I hate being single, it j... View more

I realised that I have been single for four years today, with lots of failed relationship attempts in between. I’m almost turning 26 as well, and am starting to get a bit panicky about being single for so long. It’s not that I hate being single, it just baffles me that I haven’t even gotten close to having a relationship in that timeframe. It makes me wonder if I’m giving off weird vibes or doing something wrong or looking in the wrong places for the wrong type of people to date. And that this will cause me to be single for a long long time, and therefore limiting the kind of life I eventually want for myself (kids, family etc.) But I don’t know what to change. I’m finding it hard to stay positive about dating and trusting the timing of things.

gympiegirlq Dealing with a selfish ex of partner, is it worth the stress?
  • replies: 2

My partners ex had several affairs before they split in 2006. She told him after they had children she didnt feel attractive and if she was able to get attention from other men it would enhance their relationship as her confidence would be restored. ... View more

My partners ex had several affairs before they split in 2006. She told him after they had children she didnt feel attractive and if she was able to get attention from other men it would enhance their relationship as her confidence would be restored. Of course it wasnt. She fell for one guy and thought theyd both leave their spouses for each other and it didnt pan out. She then booted my partner out with the excuse of it was just for a few months and he could move back. Of course it wasnt. She received 85% of their assets house car etc. We eventually got together and had the kids 5 nights a fortnight. Good routine, all settled. Then we wouldnt have the kids at a moments notice so she could go out as we had other commitments that night so she got the kids to help drag out the remaining items of furniture that belonged to my partner and set fire to them on the front lawn and posted video on facebook. Then she got a new bf and moved towns without any consultation. He now sees his kids 2 nights a fortnight if she doesnt change it to 1 randomly. She has told the kids she never loved their Dad only used him to have kids which upset my partner as she had once said the same to his face in anger. He never wanted kids or marriage but yet he loved her so much he gave her both but it wasnt enough. She drops the kids off when we arent here even when we've arranged work hours around her times. She has now said she wants her life back and will be dropping the kids off for half school holidays each year amd wont be home if we try to take them back. She gets child support, family benefit and her wages. My partner only has his wages to live on and pay bills etc. We cant afford vacation care and cant take 6 weeks holidays. She thrives on knifing him constantly yet the divorce etc was her idea. He takes everything bitter twisted thing she does and does nothing. He cant afford to go to family court. Im now unsure if I can mentally handle another 10 years of this (their youngest is 8). My kids have grown.