Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Categories
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

All discussions

Start a discussion

Albert_247 I don't think this makes me a bad person at all
  • replies: 1

I genuinely am not sure if I wouldn't care half the time if my father passed for the most part. I do feel guilty to think sort of cold like this, as long as I had my financial security together that's the main thing, I justify these feelings because ... View more

I genuinely am not sure if I wouldn't care half the time if my father passed for the most part. I do feel guilty to think sort of cold like this, as long as I had my financial security together that's the main thing, I justify these feelings because my father is a self centred grandiose narcissistic man. He looks through to me as being like bipolar, handi capped & generally stupid. He doesn't validate the ideal standards for me to have independence, purpose & meaning. He spreads rumours and tells me directly that I am a social inept hermit, just because I prefer my hobby's and have introverted nature. He manipulates what's the better intelligence, His very devious and secretive when he wants to be. He treats my mother as a maid that carry's on to much. Sometimes when you do things for him, instead of the decency to say no thanks or thanks he just sais I didn't ask ( at times ). He talks behind peoples backs and even when you know it he denies it and and try's to undermine your suspicion or raise his loud voice to keep you in silence, it's been one of his narcissistic controlling tactics for years, If my brother or myself got into any driving situations he doesn't see the possible vulnerability with the driving & the roads, He would only blame us no matter what happened regardless. His even said when his gone your going to be homeless and crying, During primary school he would tell us " Good " when he knew we got hurt at school. His told my mum if she keeps yelling at him for bringing all of his mothers old furniture in this modern house that she can be thrown out with her two children and deal with life. He was even telling his friends and agreeing to pull me out of my high school because I used to skip going because I was being bullied back in those days, He ignores you when you talk also. So no I wouldn't truly feel I am the bad person for not caring

Fany910 Wanting to keep the baby but my bf want to abort
  • replies: 1

Hi there I am 40 years old this month, I was accidentally pregnant with my bf. I am on 4 weeks pregnant now. We lived together for 10 months now. We both have a job. I am on 485 visa now but my bf cannot sponsor me as he had sponsor 2 women before. I... View more

Hi there I am 40 years old this month, I was accidentally pregnant with my bf. I am on 4 weeks pregnant now. We lived together for 10 months now. We both have a job. I am on 485 visa now but my bf cannot sponsor me as he had sponsor 2 women before. I want to keep the baby no matter what. I even offer my bf to provide financially as I have saving and my salary is higher than him. But he said he is not ready to have baby now as he still have a personal loan ($8k) and need to help his mom for nose surgery. Other thing is he is not mentally ready as he broke up with his ex gf last year (Nov 2022). So he is still emotionally not stable. Why I want to keep the baby because I am 40 years old now, not sure if in the future I will have a baby again. I know my visa will be on risk but I don’t care as long as I can keep the baby. Can someone please help me to decide? I can’t tell my sisters or my parents as I am Asian and they will judge me if I am having baby before marriage. Thank you so much

Helpneededplease Support for me partner in jail
  • replies: 1

Hi my Parnter went to jail on Wednesday and I feel so sad angry lonely scared. I don’t know where to get support from

Hi my Parnter went to jail on Wednesday and I feel so sad angry lonely scared. I don’t know where to get support from

be_yourself I need a family lawyer
  • replies: 1

I want to take my child to my country for holidays. I'm not intended to leave for good. My ex has so many connections. I need a family lawyer to deal with this matter. Please tell me where I can find a lawyer who charges reasonable price... I know al... View more

I want to take my child to my country for holidays. I'm not intended to leave for good. My ex has so many connections. I need a family lawyer to deal with this matter. Please tell me where I can find a lawyer who charges reasonable price... I know all the lawyers are expensive. I can't try Citizens Advice Bureau as my ex is using.

pop_92 Advice please
  • replies: 1

I need advice on what to say to someone who says they want to meet up but never actually follow through.

I need advice on what to say to someone who says they want to meet up but never actually follow through.

Wrong_Side_Of_Fifty LDR in our fifties
  • replies: 1

Me (52), him (58), we're in a long distance relationship. He is often insensitive or just lacking in care and concern. I am having serious doubts about our relationship, but he isn't. I have tried to have very open, honest conversations with him and ... View more

Me (52), him (58), we're in a long distance relationship. He is often insensitive or just lacking in care and concern. I am having serious doubts about our relationship, but he isn't. I have tried to have very open, honest conversations with him and while he initially is open to change and mutual growth, he then reverts within days and we begin all over again. I try to prevent him from feeling attacked, but it doesn't always work. We had known each other for almost 18 months before he moved away. We have a checkered past as he was cheating on me with another woman until a few months ago and constantly lying about it. He still lies about even the littlest things. He is self absorbed a lot and I feel that he still does not trust, respect or care for me as his actions do not match his words and he has admitted that he has cared more for other girlfriends more than he currently cares for me. He says that it will grow. But, as his apparent lack of care for me seems to become clearer and increases, my care for him wanes. I loved him long before he loved me, he says. My desire for him is also decreasing as a result. There are other details of which I won't divulge just yet. But, I'm hoping for some opinions and experiences to use to weigh up my choices here. I can give more detail about the betrayals upon request. Not enough characters left to do it in this initial post. Should I stay or should I go is my query, but a discussion of opinions first, please.

Patty1995 Mr
  • replies: 1

I've currently got a crush on a girl and it's not going as I thought, any advice?

I've currently got a crush on a girl and it's not going as I thought, any advice?

Natalia_S Retroactive Jealousy - Anxiety/OCD over my partner's past - Getting severe
  • replies: 38

I (22F) haven't suffered with RJ until now, in my first committed relationship. Me and my boyfriend (25M) have been in a relationship for almost 10 months now. He’s had 3 long term relationships. At first I was mature about the fact that he’s almost ... View more

I (22F) haven't suffered with RJ until now, in my first committed relationship. Me and my boyfriend (25M) have been in a relationship for almost 10 months now. He’s had 3 long term relationships. At first I was mature about the fact that he’s almost 4 years older than me, he has had longer and more mature relationships and has done more in his life than me, but I still find myself stalking his exes on social media, digging around and asking for more information that I KNOW will hurt me, and straight up ignoring any reassurance he gives me. I hate picturing him with someone else and my instinct is to make him feel bad about his past that are beyond both of our control which I know is totally wrong. I go for weeks being absolutely fine, but the second an ex is brought into conversation, even by me, it’ll send me on a spiral of social media stalking and taking my anger out on him. It hurts us both every time. He loves me so much and he tells me that he’s never felt this loved in any relationship he has been in. I believe this to be true, especially from the things he’s told me about his exes. He says he’s never been able to see a future with any of his exes. I absolutely adore him and worship the ground he walks on. I think he’s the one but my behaviour really gets in the way of us being happy and trusting one another. Recently, I have been stalking HARDCORE, finding stuff from 2015 when he was with his ex and seeing what he's said about her, etc. I had to walk out of work because I was having an extreme panic attack and almost vomitted. It is getting worse and I don't want to lose him but I feel like the only way to stop suffering if to break up with him. I feel hopeless. I feel sick in the head and I feel like if I live like this forever, I will die. Does anyone feel the same or now effective ways to get over this for good? I've read books, articles and watched videos - nothing helps long term.

white knight Estranged fathers of young children
  • replies: 1

As an estranged father of one of my children, nothing can describe the inner anguish of such a separation. What's more, having the mother of our child demonise you to our child and not promote your relationship with the child.. even devaluing it, is ... View more

As an estranged father of one of my children, nothing can describe the inner anguish of such a separation. What's more, having the mother of our child demonise you to our child and not promote your relationship with the child.. even devaluing it, is near impossible to combat. If your hurt leads to anger you wont win, if you remain calm and express kindness you wont win either because your kindness can be portrayed as a "trick, that he isnt being his real self". In my case my eldest daughter left home at 12 to be with me as she was treated poorly as I was. So my ex wife had an agenda, to make sure our youngest didnt do the same. She taught our youngest all the narc tricks she has in her armoury. Some of the devaluing examples you might relate to- Withholding a child from parent and teacher nights as the night didnt fall within visiting timesElevating the role of a mother over a father eg they give birth, they breast feed etc ALL PARENTS ARE EQUALDifferences in parenting seen as poorer parenting So, cut to the chase, what can a dad do to survive this onslaught that is ongoing until your youngest reaches 18yo. That was the era when I stopped all child support and told mY ex never to contact me again under any circumstances. So, that last few words was one answer. You are not compelled to have communication with the mother of your children if you find them toxic. So that day will come and you can decide that. Also if your child/children follow in their mothers path with toxicity you have choices. Eg After 14 years of my youngest 14yo-28yo treating me with contempt, manipulation, triangulation, etc I made the hard decision to cut contact. Even good fathers need protection. Rise up, be proud, acknowledge that you are a good person and tried your best but in some personalities you cannot combat cruelty and when you try you are opening yourself up to more abuse. It is a no win situation so realise that and make changes but dont fall for the guilt trip. I have my older daughter now 34yo and she might have a child one day. Also I have young kids in my life, grandkids of friends. I make them toy trains and draw pictures with them. I no longer have toxic people in my life. THROUGH TURMOIL AND DISARRAY The road has dips we never seeOur family wasnt suppose to beA torn heart and a suppressed manBe the dad you always planned The best adult to all kids aroundHugs will come, your worth be foundThrough hurt, turmoil and disarrayThe dad you be can still smile away... TonyWK

white knight Child support, non custodial parenting, step parents, ex partner issues, estrangement
  • replies: 1

HiI am experienced in all of the above so hoping I can help any of you that has an issue in the above categories.In my 20's I was a step dad to a little boy for 7 years in my 30's I had 2 daughters and we separated when they reached 7 and 4yo. I was ... View more

HiI am experienced in all of the above so hoping I can help any of you that has an issue in the above categories.In my 20's I was a step dad to a little boy for 7 years in my 30's I had 2 daughters and we separated when they reached 7 and 4yo. I was unable to maintain a good friendly relationship with their mother, only the bare communication at best. She remarried then divorced, then lived with another guy. My eldest left home to live with me at 12yo. I then had a defacto relationship with a lady for 10 years that proved a poor step mum to my kids, she had two teenagers so I was their step dad. I paid child support for 14 years plus other expenses. Eventually in 2011 I remarried to a lady, my best friend for 25 years. She was also my children's favourite auntie by marriage when young so that worked out. My eldest no longer has a relationship with her birth mother and treat my wife as her mother now. I'm estranged from my youngest daughter now 31yo. This was my choice following years of narcissistic abuse she inherited from her birth mother. When first separated from my daughters mother I built my own home. Paying child support it was the only way I could afford one and I had the technical expertise to build it. So if any of you have questions I'll endeavour to answer them. The torment, the anguish and the sorrow can often be too much, I endured even though I had bipolar and other issues. There was many times I thought I wouldnt make it. Just losing my full time fatherhood was painful enough, I'm glad 50/50 parenting has become more popular than it was 20 years ago. Until we chat.TonyWK

As an organisation that supports people from across Australia, Beyond Blue acknowledges the Traditional Owners and Custodians of Country and their continuing connection to land, waters and community. We pay respect to Elders past and present.

First Nations Peoples are advised that this website may include reference to and images of deceased persons.

Beyond Blue is committed to safe inclusive spaces, policies and services for people of LGBTIQ+ communities and their families.

Helpful information

Stay in touch

Sign up below for regular emails from Beyond Blue, filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones.

Stay in touch

Talk it through with us, we'll point you in the right direction.

Call 1300 224 636

24 hours / 7 days a week

Chat Online

24 hours / 7 days a week

Email us

Get a reply in 24 hours

Copyright © 2026 Beyond Blue Ltd

All rights reserved

Contact us Terms of use Privacy policy Site map