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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Em4y9 I need someone to chat to.
  • replies: 2

I feel as if no one cares. I live with my mum and two younger brothers and both my brothers hate me. My mum favours them and always believes them, I used to lie a lot and this just pushed me over the edge. My brother came down crying and screaming at... View more

I feel as if no one cares. I live with my mum and two younger brothers and both my brothers hate me. My mum favours them and always believes them, I used to lie a lot and this just pushed me over the edge. My brother came down crying and screaming at me while my mother was outside. Saying i messaged his friends, calling them incredibly rude words and that I texted my grandma saying she was fat (i didn't).I'm already have a crap day, I feel as if i'm not enough and struggle to eat and do basic actitivites.

Xay Loneliness
  • replies: 6

Hey, I just really need to get this out. I feel lonely all the time, no matter how many people are around I feel alone, I have one friend that I enjoy hanging out with but they don't contact me, I always ask them about there day but they never ask ab... View more

Hey, I just really need to get this out. I feel lonely all the time, no matter how many people are around I feel alone, I have one friend that I enjoy hanging out with but they don't contact me, I always ask them about there day but they never ask about me, it makes me feel like sh*t, and I don't have any friends other than them and one other. It's gotten to the point where I'm terrified of going home because I know I'll feel empty because there's no one around.

RinaGreen Mother in law problems
  • replies: 4

Hello Everyone,My mother in law keeps calling my husband behind my back and want us to get our 6 month old son Christened. Neither me, my husband or father in law are Christian’s, but my mother in law is a Christian herself and she got my husband Chr... View more

Hello Everyone,My mother in law keeps calling my husband behind my back and want us to get our 6 month old son Christened. Neither me, my husband or father in law are Christian’s, but my mother in law is a Christian herself and she got my husband Christened when he was a baby. As a mother, she chose to Christen her son when he as a baby, against my father in law. But now she thinks my husband should decide whether our son should get Chritened or not. For this reason, I’m scared to let her baby sit my son, because I think, she will secretly get him Christened. Even though, she has not offered us to baby sit my son when I return to work; She will baby sit him occasionally for a few hours if we want to do something together as a couple.This is her only grandchild and she is a 65 year old retiree and lives in the same city as us.

dleon Expat grief can’t go back home and help mum
  • replies: 4

Hi, My dad passed away few days ago overseas. Due to distance I was not able to make it to the funeral but was thinking on flying soon to be there’d for mum. I had seen them both 3 months ago and had a plan to visit them mid year. But now apart from ... View more

Hi, My dad passed away few days ago overseas. Due to distance I was not able to make it to the funeral but was thinking on flying soon to be there’d for mum. I had seen them both 3 months ago and had a plan to visit them mid year. But now apart from feeling sad Im struggling with the ordeal and cost of such a long trip. Mum have been with my brother for the funeral and few more days, but soon he has to go back to his job out of town, and mum will be alone. I have this horrible feeling of guilt and anxiety through roof. I feel I’m letting mum down if I don’t travel now, but just arranging the trip is proving really difficult, mentally and financially. Any advice or someone that have gone through this will be appreciated.

CaseyS Advice on depressed ex-boyfriend who left after 10 years
  • replies: 1

Me and my boyfriend were together for 10 years. For the last few years, I guess you could say we were having difficult times. Work and financial pressure due to the house. I used to work outside the city, but due to the pandemic, I started working fr... View more

Me and my boyfriend were together for 10 years. For the last few years, I guess you could say we were having difficult times. Work and financial pressure due to the house. I used to work outside the city, but due to the pandemic, I started working from home. In December 2021 he told me something was wrong. He said I didn’t do anything wrong, but that he needed to figure it out on his own, and that he needed space. He started pulling away, which made me more clingy.For a year, I would try and bring up going to therapy and talking about issues once a month, and he was not receptive. He told me he resented me and didn't know how to stop- even though he wanted to. That it's like we need a reset button but we don't know how to get to it. Those conversations would end in us both being more upset, we talked about breaking up several times. I was going to therapy, he kept avoiding it. He broke up with me 4 months ago and I left immediately. No contact for 3 months until I had to message him about a package that was being delivered. He replied kindly and then followed that saying that he hopes I know I can always talk to him, that he was not ignoring me and he just didn't know how much time and space was needed. He’s in therapy now. We’ve had two calls in the last month- during the last one I asked him if we were over for good or if there was hope for us. He couldn't give me an answer and said he feels like he's only starting to scratch the surface in therapy. His therapist thinks it is depression. During this whole time, he hasn’t initiated a text or call but replies quickly. He suggested we meet up next month. I'm scared- I love him and I want to tell him that I'm more than willing to support him with his mental health and that I still want to be together. I've realised several of my own mistakes during these 4 months apart (I was too clingy, made him responsible for my happiness, I was always negative etc). I’ve been working on my own mental and physical health and I want to bring peace to his life. However, I'm so scared that expressing this will make him feel pressured again. How do I show him that we can have a new start and that his depression doesn't have to be the end for us?

Rozebye Cheating husband
  • replies: 5

My husband and I have been married for for 43 years and 5 years ago he brought a woman into our lives who he said would be a good friend for me. He really wanted an excuse to be around her. I eventually found out after 2 years that he had been secret... View more

My husband and I have been married for for 43 years and 5 years ago he brought a woman into our lives who he said would be a good friend for me. He really wanted an excuse to be around her. I eventually found out after 2 years that he had been secretly meeting up with her. Once caught out, he removed her from all communication and promised not to see her again. A couple of weeks ago I found out he had reconnected with her through calls, texts and clandestine meetings. He didn’t own up to it until I showed him concrete proof that I knew. He said he won’t do it again and is doing everything to make it up but how do I ever trust him again. We have always connected really well but he seems to be looking for excitement however still wants his family.

B21 Pregnant and now unsure about partner
  • replies: 3

I recently found out I'm pregnant I've been with my partner 3 years and yet when I told him he didn't seem to care and did not want to talk about it. He has 2 kids to a previous relationship so i didnt think he would be so unsupportive and I can't st... View more

I recently found out I'm pregnant I've been with my partner 3 years and yet when I told him he didn't seem to care and did not want to talk about it. He has 2 kids to a previous relationship so i didnt think he would be so unsupportive and I can't stop the worry that now that I'm pregnant he will stray as he has been making comments about other women's bodies/being hot on Facebook and TV. He cheated on his ex gf while she was pregnant too and the day after i told him he picked an argument with me about how I haven't been going to the gym and I'm feeling pretty down about it because pregnancy comes with weight gain and now I'm super stressed out that I'm making the wrong choice. He has been okay in other ways but these little comments and knowing his past has really affected me as I don't want that happening to me.

Lost_Soul_272 15 years and now it's ended
  • replies: 1

I have just split with my partner of 15 years. We just had our 15 year anniversary from the day we met... but it's been going downhill for a long time. 6 years ago they put someone else in front of our relationship, I ended up leaving because I was s... View more

I have just split with my partner of 15 years. We just had our 15 year anniversary from the day we met... but it's been going downhill for a long time. 6 years ago they put someone else in front of our relationship, I ended up leaving because I was so hurt by these actions, I don't know if they ever actually physically cheated on me but they definitely mentally did. That was hard to get past, but my partner came back to me, actually followed me to where I moved and made a point of showing me they still felt love for me. We remained living separately, this has been a hard part for me, I have really struggled with having seperate lives and it's really felt like they have kept things this way on purpose for this time. The last few years with covid etc has taken its toll on our relationship also, our beliefs in things have differed so much, they have become interested in world politics, conspiracy theories, lots of those types of things, their attitude has changed a whole lot. It really feels like they have stopped caring on a personal & emotional level about things outside of those things, including towards me. I had become frustrated and hurt from the lack of affection, lack of inclusion and support, in turn I got angry and then reflected that on to them... we continued this pattern for a long time, with not having too many happy moments in there even when an effort was made to make a happy memory it was tainted by those feelings. So finally it has got to that point where I have said enough is enough and I can't keep doing this, not to me or to them, it's not fair.Now I'm a little scared, my heart is broken, I feel lost and very low.Im scared to be alone after all these years, I feel like I have lost my best and closest friend, however I don't think I can have a friendship with them because of how much love I still feel for them.I know life will go on, but I am truly grieving another loss in my life.... I lost my only child not long before I met my partner and we have been through so much together.... and now it feels like I have truly lost another great love. I am feeling really lost. There is so much more to this story of course over 15 years.... but now it's over and I'm very very sad, sad to the core of my soul.

Jennychrist How Marriage Counseling Impacted Our Marriage
  • replies: 1

We’ve been hitched 46 years. We have three children and eight grandchildren, and we’ve had an incredible life. Be that as it may, when we consider the most recent 10 years of our marriage, they have been a portion of our most joyful years, and it’s a... View more

We’ve been hitched 46 years. We have three children and eight grandchildren, and we’ve had an incredible life. Be that as it may, when we consider the most recent 10 years of our marriage, they have been a portion of our most joyful years, and it’s all a direct result of our marriage specialist. Dan Whenever we take a gander at our excursion and the emergency we came to, we can see that our timetables consumed our lives. We didn’t watch our marriage against it, and we let our watchman down. That made such countless troublesome things occur for us. I put our marriage into journey control, and we drifted into a staggering emergency. I screwed up and undermined our marriage with infidelity. We were in service at that point, and I uncovered it to my administrator. Half a month after the fact, I surrendered, and Becky and I went into a five-year time of extreme recuperation. I chose by then that I would have rather not placed any bandages on our circumstance. I needed to get to the base of what my concern was. Becky The treatment was instrumental in assisting us with looking past the emergency that we were all the while mending from, and it pushed us to zero in on our future, past our recuperation. The treatment pushed us to contemplate what our vision was and where we needed to go. How could we need to arrive? What was in our souls past that current second?

Luna10 Re: Moving on from abusive relationships.
  • replies: 4

A toxic marriage for 9 years with daily coercive control then finally got the courage to leave. He has punished me ever since for leaving him. That was 12 years ago. He threatened to leave me with nothing. He took our 2 young children and fled to NSW... View more

A toxic marriage for 9 years with daily coercive control then finally got the courage to leave. He has punished me ever since for leaving him. That was 12 years ago. He threatened to leave me with nothing. He took our 2 young children and fled to NSW. I couldn’t do anything because we didn’t have a court order. We went through court and he got 75% of the property settlement/finances as he told me that if I didn’t agree to it he wouldn’t let me see the kids again. I got 50/50 care of the kids but constantly felt threatened that he’d take them off me again. I never shouted at the kids or disciplined them in a strict way due to worrying that he would accuse me of abuse and take them off me. He coercively controlled our oldest child and also emotionally and psychologically abused him after I left. He has constantly denigrated me to the kids. My eldest called me in July 2021 as his father was abusing him again. I picked him up and he stayed with me for 3 days. We met with his brother and father to give him chance to discuss his concerns. He reluctantly went back to his father’s as it was his allotted time with the kids. Since then my youngest started to ignore me. He would not be in the same room as me at mine and barely spoke to me. He thought it was bad that I had picked up my eldest that day and I was being horrible to his dad. I tried to explaIn but he wouldn’t agree with me. I found out later on that my ex was asking him to spy on me daily regarding my drinking and smoking habits. He got him to measure glasses and record how many milliliters of wine compared with lemonade I was having and how many a week. He told my youngest that I was an alcoholic and he needed to monitor me and report back to his dad as it wasn’t safe being around me. This went on until November 2021.