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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Earth Girl Someone thought something I said was aimed at them
  • replies: 7

Several years ago, I was annoyed at some people I went to school with because I didn't like the way they were treating me and I said something online about them that wasn't nice. Another woman thought it was about her and was really hurt by it. I tri... View more

Several years ago, I was annoyed at some people I went to school with because I didn't like the way they were treating me and I said something online about them that wasn't nice. Another woman thought it was about her and was really hurt by it. I tried to apologize twice. The first time it wasn't received well and she thought what I said was still aimed at her and I'm not sure what happened after the second time I apologized. Have you ever had something like this happen to you and what did you do about it? I found out this woman has a Youtube channel, but I don't know if it would be wise to contact her from there and try to explain things and apologize again.

aprilmay three years into relationship and no sex
  • replies: 2

My partner and I have been together for upcoming up to 3 years (both mid twenties), and we have never had sex. I have tried to speak about them about this but they have always responded with there has never been a right time and how it is too much pr... View more

My partner and I have been together for upcoming up to 3 years (both mid twenties), and we have never had sex. I have tried to speak about them about this but they have always responded with there has never been a right time and how it is too much pressure in the moment of it and tends to blame work for stress (but it has been 3 years). I have tried to initiate but get turned away - I am respectful of their wishes. They also suggest the idea of being more intimate when cuddling, but then they get freaked out and scared. I was thinking they may have no desire to be intimate, but then again they say they want to. I love them dearly, but this feels more like a best friendship than a relationship. I just don't know what to do, because it is important in a romantic relationship, and I have tried so many times to understand their concerns but seen to be getting nowhere. They sometimes even blame me saying it's my fault with being too tired after starting a new job. Just wondering if anyone has been in the same situation, and what to do

G.P Is breaking things in an argument normal in a relationship?
  • replies: 9

About a week ago my partner and I argued about a comment that he’d made about our wedding plans that we had disagreed on. The argument escalated and neither of us could contain our emotions. For him that was punching a hole in the wall. While for me ... View more

About a week ago my partner and I argued about a comment that he’d made about our wedding plans that we had disagreed on. The argument escalated and neither of us could contain our emotions. For him that was punching a hole in the wall. While for me it was howling and crying. We both later realised that it got really out of hand when it didn’t need to. A few months prior to that, we were in an argument as I was in a sour mood and my negative energy, wallowing and self-pity got him frustrated. Similarly the argument escalated quickly and he broke the glass of the dining table. I’m scared to be judged, but is this normal? Both of us are at fault here – me for being overly anxious and pessimistic and not seeing beyond myself, which then means he absorbs my energy and doesn’t know what to do with it. And I guess him for not being able to have a handle on his emotions or outlet to let go of the frustration and anger easily. I find that his temper builds up quickly and it can be unnerving. I don't know how we can manage this better, what I should take from these arguments and how to avoid this again. G.P.

Llv I'm very lonley..
  • replies: 34

My girlfriend and I drifted apart over a series of months. At the beginning we were very close. Always together or if we weren't she would call several times a day message each other back and forth constantly. After living alone for so many years I a... View more

My girlfriend and I drifted apart over a series of months. At the beginning we were very close. Always together or if we weren't she would call several times a day message each other back and forth constantly. After living alone for so many years I appreciated that she wanted to be there for me constantly and wanted my attention. But while she was around me her phone would ring constantly and it would be her other 'guy' friends calling. She would sit there right in front of me and let them flirt with her she made no aptempt to stop them you could hear their sleezy voices on the other end of the phone. Sometimes they would call while we were in bed. Soon enough she was spending time alone with these friends instead of me. I tried to confront her about it and tell her how worried I was how obvious what was going on and I was not going to stand for it. It would always cause an argument and the answer back always was how special her friends were to her and nothing was going to get in the way of it. I never felt so low in my life. She told me these guys were telling her to leave me. I could not understand how you could say these things back to somebody that is your partner. It was gut wrenching to hear. I allowed this behaviour to continue and stayed in the relationship for several months feeling humiliated ashamed all the way. Naturally our intermate life does right off we spent less and less time together spoke less and less. In the end I fell asleep after work exhausted one Friday night. We were supposed to spend the night together. I awoke at 2am in a panic realising she wasent there. She would only come to see me weekends by that stage sometimes once a week. I missed her terribly everyday. Put my head in the sand ignored what I thought was going on but we bickered constantly about it which only drove us further apart. The last Friday I fell asleep after work we were supposed to be spending the night together. When I awoke I panicked and messaged her. There was no reply. I had to work the next Saturday morning we had planned to go Christmas shopping that day. I spoke to her when I finally was allowed to go at 1pm after having an argument with my boss to get out. By this stage I was feeling very uneasy and stressed I was really wrapped in this girl and was so worried I did not sleep at all after I woke up without her.

HisMum 20yr drain with toxic MIL
  • replies: 5

My husband is from Canada where his mother still lives. He chose to come here to live in Australia when we married. Obviously she was not happy. We did say that maybe down the track we might move back to Canada but financially that’s not been possibl... View more

My husband is from Canada where his mother still lives. He chose to come here to live in Australia when we married. Obviously she was not happy. We did say that maybe down the track we might move back to Canada but financially that’s not been possible. We’ve made countless trips back where we’ve gone out of our way to buy nice things, take her on a holiday etc etc & we’ve also paid for her to come her as well. Every single time she’s ruined it by accusing my husband of lying when he said we may move over there, accusing everyone of things that just didn’t happen, bringing up past issues from years back way back to his childhood which was horrific because ofdecisions she made. Her other son was dying & she still caused a huge argument about things from the past. I could write a book! it’s obviously easy for me to step away from her toxicity as she lives on the other side of the world, but she’s my husband’s mother & despite all she does he loves her & tolerates her outbursts until he can’t.Over the past years of covid we obviously couldn’t visit but the the several times a week FaceTime continued where she made sure she made him feel even more guilty by making up stories about her health. It was decide he would go over by himself (we couldn’t afford for us both to go) to see for himself her apparently declining health. When he arrived it was apparent she had once again lied & within 24hrs had started with the accusations of things that never happened. He lost his temper & yelled at her but took himself away from the situation going back some time later to a calm mother. 2 days later she starts again, this time accusing him of assaulting her when they previously argued! He knew he had to this time leave & not go back. He didn’t feel safe with his own mother because she’d done this sort of thing to her other son & had him arrested on one occasion. After considerably more expense changing his tickets he’s now safe at home but she calls & says she doesn’t remember anything & didn’t even know him when he arrived as she’d had 5 strokes in the past few years, all lies! I can so easily walk away but my husband is guilt ridden & I just don’t know how to help him. He can’t just go see her for a visit every Sunday, he’s a world away. Any advice would be so much appreciated.

AL_98 difficulty in forming deep relationships
  • replies: 2

Hello since I was born, I was bullied in school and hated. I never felt welcomed or loved. so now as an adult I feel like everyone just wants to avoid me and no one wants to hangout with me. I find it really difficult to form a relationship and maint... View more

Hello since I was born, I was bullied in school and hated. I never felt welcomed or loved. so now as an adult I feel like everyone just wants to avoid me and no one wants to hangout with me. I find it really difficult to form a relationship and maintain it. (Friendship or love or any form of relationship)I always feel like I am not myself and everyone just keeps rejecting me. they always refuse to hangout or talk. they don't laugh at my joke or sometimes don't care.sometimes I go out with my friends and I end up feeling more isolated and lonely. I dont know how to feel connected to others. i dont know how to form relationships with women or people in general. people just keep ignoring me. sometimes when i talk with someone people keep interrupting me. I always wish that I can scream at them and tell them to shut up and hear me because I was talking first. I dont feel myself around others.

adamc Mum's Obsessed With Money
  • replies: 6

For a long time, my Mum has always loved money, spending money and tries to get every cent she can from others. When I was younger, Mum rarely cooked anything for dinner that I'd eat and when i brought it up, she said "Maybe when you start giving me ... View more

For a long time, my Mum has always loved money, spending money and tries to get every cent she can from others. When I was younger, Mum rarely cooked anything for dinner that I'd eat and when i brought it up, she said "Maybe when you start giving me some money, I'll think of cooking more things that you'll eat." When she was spending too much and the government wouldn't give her more, she said "That's OK, we'll just put the kids' board up." Some years ago, Dad was given my granddad's car by my Nan which Dad didn't want but took it to keep her happy. The registration and insurance was put in his name and over the years he paid them, the servicing and parts plus the petrol. The car died months ago, it would've cost too much to fix and today Dad rang up someone to take it away. Mum instantly held her hand out for the money saying "It was my Dad's car, so it's natural I get the money." When Dad and I went on a walk today afterwards, he said "Maybe I should close my bank account and give your mother all the money that was in it." It's disgusting. She's greedy. Doesn't help when my oldest sister gives her $300-400 cash for her birthday.

Chloe-hrh Boyfriend moving to my state
  • replies: 3

Hi everyoneI have been contemplating what the right thing to do is. I was living interstate where I met my partner. I outgrew the city and needed to move back home to be closer to family and friends for my own mental well-being. It was so difficult t... View more

Hi everyoneI have been contemplating what the right thing to do is. I was living interstate where I met my partner. I outgrew the city and needed to move back home to be closer to family and friends for my own mental well-being. It was so difficult to leave him behind and we had discussed before I had left that we would see how things go over the first few months and potentially he may come over. Now I’m in the position where he had decided to come for 1 month to trial the city. As the time approaches I’m becoming overwhelmed by the fact that after a month he will go home and may not come back as he doesn’t enjoy it here. I really don’t want to go through the heart ache if it means that now I’ve seen him it would be ever harder rather than ending things while we are apart. The other part of me things what if he enjoys it then a year down the track he wants to go home .. there’s just so many what if and I don’t know what is best. Just looking for some guidance on what to do and how to manage this uncertainty.

PariM30 Is feeling lonely in a relationship normal?
  • replies: 5

Hi, I am Pari 36 YO male and wanted to get some perspective on some situations and feelings I am facing currently. Me and my girlfriend have been together for a year and we love each other a lot. She owns a property now and is living with her mum, bu... View more

Hi, I am Pari 36 YO male and wanted to get some perspective on some situations and feelings I am facing currently. Me and my girlfriend have been together for a year and we love each other a lot. She owns a property now and is living with her mum, but she used to come over at my place often, whenever she could get time. Over a past few months, I have noticed she has been getting frustrated and agitated over small things. And unfortunately the frustration is vented out on me in form of verbal or physical abuse (in front of her mum). I have been turning a blind eye on few of the things but recently (from couple of weeks), she has not been communicating properly. When I send her messages on whatsapp she does not even look at it for days and when she does, she does not reply. She has not tried to call or meet, even after several attempts from my end. The excuses she has been giving is that her job is very busy and she gets tired hence she has not been communicating. I agree her job as a trainer accessor may be hectic, however not been able to send a single text ( a simple good morning or how are going) or have a quick call is hard to digest. I have a busy day too yet I make the effort to ask her how she is going, but getting no response for days has indicated me that she is not interested and wants to ignore me. It is also putting me off the relationship as there is clear lack of engagement from thenother side. But when asked she says she is not ignoring me, and she wants to be in the relationship. Not contacting me for 9 consecutive days nor meeting me for a brief period being in the same city, am I wrong to think that she is ignoring me, or is distancing herself from me? Being in the relationship I have been feeling very lonely and seems bit of one side love now as I barely hear from her. Are these indicators that she does not want to be with me? For me if you love someone, and have the wish and will to make it happen, you do whatever possible to atleast communicate with your partner. Am I being to unrealistic with my expectations? Would love some guidance or suggestions from someone who has faced something similar. Thank you

Jamesneedsyouropinion Once a cheater always a cheater?
  • replies: 7

So it was my ex, who after a year in the relationship asked me if I think that once a cheater always a cheater... I replied with yes! There's a reason it's a phrase! She replies with..I believe that it's not true..I believe that people can change. My... View more

So it was my ex, who after a year in the relationship asked me if I think that once a cheater always a cheater... I replied with yes! There's a reason it's a phrase! She replies with..I believe that it's not true..I believe that people can change. My questionsnto you all is.. 1. What do you think the agenda of the question is?(By her asking me) 2. Does someone who hasn't cheated normally have this opinion..? 3. Is this a confession? Please help! I need closure and I know Il never get it from her