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Sophie_M If you need to talk about Bondi Beach - Our community is here
  • replies: 8

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Aus... View more

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Australia and we extend our heartfelt condolences to the individuals and families affected by this tragedy. We wanted to create a space where you can share whatever you’re feeling - whether that’s fear, shock, grief, or anything else that has come up for you. If you need support from others in the community, please feel welcome to post here. Violence and acts of terror can bring feelings of shock, grief, profound sadness, anger and fear. It’s normal to experience these emotions while trying to make sense of distressing events. It may take time for these feelings to ease, but it’s never too early to seek support if you are feeling distressed. Beyond Blue is here for you anytime, by phone on 1300 224 636 or via webchat: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor You can also support those around you by being available to them and listening. Thank you for being such an important part of this community, and for the kindness, honesty, and wisdom you continue to share with each other. We remind the community that Beyond Blue is here for all people in Australia, no matter what you believe, how you live or who you worship. Kind regards Sophie M

A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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TheBigBlue How do I tell the psychiatrist? Help!
  • replies: 11

Hi All, I’ve had about 3 appointments in person & 1 video call & 1 phone call during the initial Covid peak with a psychiatrist. Now the psychiatrist is male, which makes me quite uncomfortable to discuss certain things. He knows there was sexual abu... View more

Hi All, I’ve had about 3 appointments in person & 1 video call & 1 phone call during the initial Covid peak with a psychiatrist. Now the psychiatrist is male, which makes me quite uncomfortable to discuss certain things. He knows there was sexual abuse when I was a child but I can’t tell him the full story. As the childhood incidents were with a male medical professional for a completely unrelated medical condition, I just feel like if I talk about it with a male I am planting the idea in other people’s head to do the same. And I’m already triggered before even going into each session because I literally relive the trauma every time I sit in a waiting room & I feel & experience all the things I felt as a terrified little girl sitting in the waiting room to see the evil doctor. On top of that, I feel extreme shame about the whole thing & I worry my feelings are an overreaction & people will think I am stupid for feeling the way I do. my psychologist is female & while it was difficult, I have been able to discuss with her all that happened. Last session with her I told how the psychiatrist was really confused because he didn’t have the whole story. The psychologist asked if I wanted her to write to him about the situation. I said yes & felt great relief, but asked that she did not copy in my entire medical team (like she has with her previous updates). Honestly, my endocrinologist & diabetes educator do not need to know this stuff. Then she got hesitant saying she could write just to him but couldn’t guarantee he wouldn’t share the information with my medical team. i can’t bring myself to tell him in person, so she suggested writing it down on a piece of paper, having him read it & then ask for the paper back. But honestly this terrifies me even more. Just thinking about sitting there in uncomfortable silence while he reads my letter sounds like the most excruciating, shameful & uncomfortable experience. I am burning with shame just thinking about it. How do I bring up the courage to either tell him or write it down for him? I am terrified. Appointment is a week away but I’m freaked about it already.

NoHope8 Psychiatrist visit
  • replies: 2

Hi there, I tried a psychiatrist...first time in 15 years or so..after many psychologists...and I'm trying to digest her. She offered no smile, no welcome,...stony face...she asked good questions....and went into childhood...not quite what I wanted t... View more

Hi there, I tried a psychiatrist...first time in 15 years or so..after many psychologists...and I'm trying to digest her. She offered no smile, no welcome,...stony face...she asked good questions....and went into childhood...not quite what I wanted to deal with... I wanted to deal with losing my children...but thats fine and good..it's all interconnected.... I'm just unsure whether I can stomach going to someone who won't connect with me...I tried small talk afterward and she just said it sounds like you are trying to get my approval...fair call...I was trying to relate...I don't know...is this normal...I just felt disapproved of...or judged. Probably my paranoia I'm sure... I just felt nothing except a stone wall ... I just wonder where she is going and whether I can cope with that stony face again, there was no real goodbye, have a nice day...just nothing. It's hard enough for me to talk through everything I have had to go through..it's very complex and tiring...

Agenderandproudofit My Story/Introduction
  • replies: 3

Hi, i'm agender, 21 just have to say whoever reads this some stuff that i've written is disturbing. I was born as a boy. i was raised pretty much by my father for the first 10 years of my life as my mother was a cop 24/7 then studyed for a few years ... View more

Hi, i'm agender, 21 just have to say whoever reads this some stuff that i've written is disturbing. I was born as a boy. i was raised pretty much by my father for the first 10 years of my life as my mother was a cop 24/7 then studyed for a few years at night school to be a teacher, my relationship with her from age 10 til now isn't good and has been deteriorating more each year. Growing up with my dad around was horrible he did drugs, smoked/drank heavily, was always out at parties leaving me alone at home plus i was physically abused by him from age 6 to 15 for reasons that i still have no idea why even today which as a result left me with PTSD. I was diagnosed with mild Autism at the age of 3 from then til age 15 i had a countless number of speech therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists etc. School whether if it was primary or high was very traumatic had hardly any friends (only 1) i was bullied heavily and physically abused by teachers and students. From age 10 til now my life's been a misery i did drugs from age 10 to 21. I was an alcoholic for a while, i decided at one point that i had to go to rehab which did wonders and i've been off drugs and alcohol since then. But after wrecking my brain with the drugs and alcohol over that long period of time i've noticed that i hulicinate, can't walk properly (straight) and that i always make quiet random noises and talk to myself without thinking it. I'm also suicidal my last attempt was last month as a result i lost my relationship with my second family as soon as i told them, i always call helplines when i feel suicidal. Just to finish it off i've now got no friends and don't talk to my family at all, whoever reads this and can relate to this just know that you're not alone.

Universling Not coping today
  • replies: 14

Been triggered all day today. Couldn't relax. Started panicking. Felt so abused and so powerless. This trigger happened and it continued to cause me stress all day. I'm still trying to relax. I got angry with the trigger, I had verbal outbursts, I go... View more

Been triggered all day today. Couldn't relax. Started panicking. Felt so abused and so powerless. This trigger happened and it continued to cause me stress all day. I'm still trying to relax. I got angry with the trigger, I had verbal outbursts, I got scared and I felt alone and powerless and defeated and it ruined my whole day. I feel like I've been thrown around all day. I have a mental health plan I got from my doctor but I never followed up with it because this other counsellor rang me but she is a womens health counsellor and I really need to see the psychologist on the plan who can help me with this. This is not something I can cope with. When I'm not triggered, I'm fine. But the trigger is something unavoidable at the moment so I'm having really bad reactions to it. I definitely want to see the psychologist now as its gotten to that stage. I will put on a nice movie to take my mind off this horrible day I have had all day. I just want to cry and I am not one to cry easily anymore, even when I need to. I was so stressed from this horrible trigger all day that I couldn't sit just distract myself with something else as it was impossible to concentrate on anything else. The trigger reaction was so huge. I am hanging in there to see this psychologist. And if I keep having this trigger reaction I probably need some medication to calm me down to feel safe again. I don't feel safe when I am triggered. I get really scared. Its awful.

noella99 Acknowledging trauma & trying to find community support (Trigger Warning: Emotional Abuse & Anxiety)
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone, It feels like it's been ages since the last time I posted anything on the forum. I still find myself fall into a hole of constant fear, guilt, and anxiety. I've left a shared flat where I had a very hard time with an emotionally abusive ... View more

Hi everyone, It feels like it's been ages since the last time I posted anything on the forum. I still find myself fall into a hole of constant fear, guilt, and anxiety. I've left a shared flat where I had a very hard time with an emotionally abusive friend/housemate. I still find it hard to refer to them as an abusive person. I can't wrap my head around it. I even feel bad when referring to them as emotionally abusive whenever I talk to my doctor or my counselor about them, trying to rationalize what they did because I equally made mistakes back then too. It makes it hard for me to find peace in myself. I've recently had a really bad anxiety attack that led to days of me being on edge, physically in pain, and under high stress. It was triggered by something that I've watched that really reminded me of that person. I remembered crying to the point that I had a hard time breathing, my whole body numb, and I was unable to sleep because my muscle was all tense. I genuinely thought I've finally able to move on from that traumatic point of my life yet I still doubt myself. I still feel this way, hurt, and afraid. Most of all, guilty. I feel guilty thinking of all the mistakes I did. Maybe I could've done things better. I don't know. Even when I think about the things they've done to me (gaslighting me, putting me down, twisting my words), I still think back to moments of kindness that they've done to me. I feel conflicted and fear of facing other people too. I don't know where to find community support for this kind of stuff. I'd like to find healthier ways to cope through, find people to talk to who can relate to my situation. Thank you for reading my post this far. I'd love to hear any suggestions or any replies really. Grateful for any form of support.

chunny PTSD was triggered
  • replies: 5

Hi all, I am new here, and was diagnosed PTSD earlier this year, and when i thought everything is going well, it was triggered suddenly. And I've started being so upset and having lots of negative thoughts. The reason I triggered is I saw heaps of gu... View more

Hi all, I am new here, and was diagnosed PTSD earlier this year, and when i thought everything is going well, it was triggered suddenly. And I've started being so upset and having lots of negative thoughts. The reason I triggered is I saw heaps of guys seeing girls who have experienced raped or sexual harassment are trash or they are faking it. As my PTSD was caused by sexual harassment those post just make me feel more depressed and hopeless, also I lost all the confidences I gain back through out last few months. I don't know what i can do anymore.

Grant_Dad Help with partner, PRSD and depression cycles
  • replies: 1

Hi there, First time poster, long time reader. My partner suffers from PTSD, depression and anxiety. It comes in a cycles mildly monthly, but heavily 3 months and 6 months. Complete shut down, sadness and wanting to be alone. At first I was defensive... View more

Hi there, First time poster, long time reader. My partner suffers from PTSD, depression and anxiety. It comes in a cycles mildly monthly, but heavily 3 months and 6 months. Complete shut down, sadness and wanting to be alone. At first I was defensive and tried to keep her etc, but I have learned that patience is key and that little contact during these times snaps her out of it. The problem is she then has another bout of anxiety thinking I will leave her or not put up with it etc. She was seeing a psych, but only about other issues not this. We feel the monthly one is PMSD related as she no longer has periods due to an operation after having kids, we feel she still has the symptoms of period. The cycle is predictable but never welcoming, I too suffer from anxiety and occasional depression so I try and be strong during this time. We now live together and it's been great until 'the cycle' comes. Withdrawn, sad, pushes everyone away especially me, loss of direction, shuts down as a parent. Its heartbreaking to witness. We agreed some space will help, so she has gone for a few days and we have kept contact minimal. Its what worked last time. Its almost a bipolar personality, she completely changes. Facial expression, libido, everything. My question to the forum is do any of you have this cycle happen? How can we address it?

Universling Narcissistic family
  • replies: 7

My mother has a destructive personality disorder. I had to spend my whole life protecting myself (estranging myself) from her controlling, manipulative, abuse. I have 2 children. My mother turned my oldest daughter when she was only 14 against me and... View more

My mother has a destructive personality disorder. I had to spend my whole life protecting myself (estranging myself) from her controlling, manipulative, abuse. I have 2 children. My mother turned my oldest daughter when she was only 14 against me and I never saw her again. She is now 26 years old. My mother used a mental health diagnosis I got when I was a teenager, which happened to be a misdiagnosis but she held onto it so she could use it against me my whole life. She abused it to get authorities to take me away, to take my daughter away when she was only 8 years old. I have never lost custody of my children. Why is there no legal protection for victims of narcissistic abuse, I lost my daughter to a narcissistic mother and all my brother and sisters are narcissists too. My father married another narcissist who lied to him so he rejected me (he too is narcissistic). I only found out my family had narcissistic personality disorder through community health social work few years ago. I don't understand how my family can abuse me like this, turn my daughter against me so I never saw her ever again and just get away with this? Surely there is something somebody can do.

Your_friend Some help/suggestions would be nice.
  • replies: 1

Dear all, I have PTSD and resultant nightmares. Over the past few weeks, the frequency and intensity of these nightmares has increased dramatically. I am at the point where I am waking up numerous times every night. Does anyone have a strategy to hel... View more

Dear all, I have PTSD and resultant nightmares. Over the past few weeks, the frequency and intensity of these nightmares has increased dramatically. I am at the point where I am waking up numerous times every night. Does anyone have a strategy to help reduce them? Best wishes, Your friend

squishy_mochi My story
  • replies: 1

I’ve been feeling so depressed, stressed and so done with everything in school, life and everything seems to make me irritated so easily. This is my story; I have got kicked out of my mums home and right after I left, her friends came and assaulted m... View more

I’ve been feeling so depressed, stressed and so done with everything in school, life and everything seems to make me irritated so easily. This is my story; I have got kicked out of my mums home and right after I left, her friends came and assaulted my boyfriend. He was picking me up to go home. It was so traumatic. It was also at night time so we couldn’t see clearly who it was. I felt like I was going to die that night. Luckily a car came and they ran off. The person stopped and just asked if we were okay then drove off. Me and my boyfriend were trying to find a place to hide to give time for the police or ambulance to come but they took so long. We had to Uber to the police and ambulance. I have moved 4 times ever since I left my mums house. She was verbally abusive to me. Saying things like “I wished I didn’t give birth to you” “you’re the worst daughter I’ve ever had”. She was also physically abusive. My mums boyfriends friend tried to kiss me and my mum found out but I got in trouble for it. She was violent and yelled at me. Then she let him come over again after a month only. her boyfriend used to call me abusive names all the time and she wouldn’t say anything to help me. my mum tried to force me to quit my own job and would often threaten me if I don’t “behave” she would stop letting me go to school and work completely. I’m in year 11 doing VCE. My grandparents, uncles or aunties wouldn’t help me stay with them. I ended up staying with my boyfriend’s family friend. my uncle recently called me a brat and said “what is wrong with you?” When all I did was send food as a gift to my mums house. I hate feeling that I was the cause of everything and that I still miss home. I want it to stop. I feel so unheard. I told a friend about my life story and she kept on saying “don’t be like that” “don’t be sad” “I want the happy (name) back” “tbh I think you need to suck it up” “you don’t need a psychologist, you have your friends. They’re a waste of money” “stop being like that”. She said that to me when I had the courage to speak with my voice through a call without crying for the first time. Eventually I did cry afterwards. Everytime I think about my mum or talk about her I would shake. I try explaining and talk to my boyfriend but when I do, he oversees it and just says “what do you mean” or “tell me what’s wrong”. I did tell him but he asks