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Sophie_M If you need to talk about Bondi Beach - Our community is here
  • replies: 8

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Aus... View more

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Australia and we extend our heartfelt condolences to the individuals and families affected by this tragedy. We wanted to create a space where you can share whatever you’re feeling - whether that’s fear, shock, grief, or anything else that has come up for you. If you need support from others in the community, please feel welcome to post here. Violence and acts of terror can bring feelings of shock, grief, profound sadness, anger and fear. It’s normal to experience these emotions while trying to make sense of distressing events. It may take time for these feelings to ease, but it’s never too early to seek support if you are feeling distressed. Beyond Blue is here for you anytime, by phone on 1300 224 636 or via webchat: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor You can also support those around you by being available to them and listening. Thank you for being such an important part of this community, and for the kindness, honesty, and wisdom you continue to share with each other. We remind the community that Beyond Blue is here for all people in Australia, no matter what you believe, how you live or who you worship. Kind regards Sophie M

A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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jennufer Hello my name is jennifer I have ptsd since I was young child I experienced abuse, trauma.
  • replies: 3

I have post trauma stress disorder since i was three or four I experienced abuse, trauma, hurt people tried to hurt me in a painful way in the physically way is not okay. so I got help with the doctors and counselling as well it helped now I am on an... View more

I have post trauma stress disorder since i was three or four I experienced abuse, trauma, hurt people tried to hurt me in a painful way in the physically way is not okay. so I got help with the doctors and counselling as well it helped now I am on antidepressants it's helping a bit not a lot.

kathek Accessing online counselling
  • replies: 7

I’m in high distress from being traumatised by a clinician yesterday on top of having a flare of c-ptsd, amongst other things. I tried to access online chat and after completing mandatory fields I was blocked before I could even start with an online ... View more

I’m in high distress from being traumatised by a clinician yesterday on top of having a flare of c-ptsd, amongst other things. I tried to access online chat and after completing mandatory fields I was blocked before I could even start with an online chat counsellor. Why would that happen? And what’s the point of offering online chat counselling when distressed if blocked before starting? This has added to me distress and feelings of invalidation and being a waste of anything other than a thin for people to use and abuse, betray trust and invalidate anything it everything if I even bother to try and get help.

Peter_W_ Sexual assault by a close friend
  • replies: 8

I'm not sure whether what has happened to me qualifies as sexual assault, and I have no intentions of taking any action regarding the incident, but I am just looking for some guidance on something that happened to me 2 days ago that has deeply upset ... View more

I'm not sure whether what has happened to me qualifies as sexual assault, and I have no intentions of taking any action regarding the incident, but I am just looking for some guidance on something that happened to me 2 days ago that has deeply upset me and I am struggling to process. I am a 61 year old hetrosexual male and have been happily married to my wife for over 30 years. Two days ago, we spent the day and night with two very close male friends (they are gay) who have been very close friends for 28 years. We frequently socialise with them and have a few drinks with them and we have never had any inappropriate issues in all the time that we have known them. However, the other night, when my wife and one of our friends went to bed, the other friend (lets call him Michael) made some very unwanted sexual advances towards me. I quickly made it clear that I was not interested, but I probably made the mistake of being being too nice about it and trying to make light of it and consoling him for his mistake. His partner came into the room as I was consoling him and he appeared to be mortified, but I'm not sure that he was (I may be reading too much into it, but I think he may also have been interested in joining in). anyway, after his partner went back to bed, Michael continued to persist with his attempt to engage in sexual conduct with him. After trying to make it clear that I wasn't interested, and feeling extremely uncomfortable, I went to bed abruptly and me and my wife left in the middle of the night. To complicate this, we are also very close friends with Michael's brother and his family, so throughout all of this I was (and still am) very worried about the impact that this could have on those relationships. Since the incident, we have had some communications from Michael's partner (whatsapp messages) that appear to be just behaving as if nothing has happened. I haven't responded to any of them, as I don't believe that I should just pretend it didn't happen. I am upset, disappointed and very unsure how I should deal with this going forward. Any advice would be gratefully received.

ecomama new person
  • replies: 2324

Hi everyone not sure what parts to disclose here, feeling very uneasy posting. I feel like a lot of people here, know that I'm socially isolated but feel it's safer this way. I have a lot of mixed feelings due to covid19; feeling freer or even happie... View more

Hi everyone not sure what parts to disclose here, feeling very uneasy posting. I feel like a lot of people here, know that I'm socially isolated but feel it's safer this way. I have a lot of mixed feelings due to covid19; feeling freer or even happier that movements were restricted as I have had little choice but to live this way for a long time. Then I realised how odd this reaction is, opposite to what I was hearing at work. Simultaneously I felt huge grief for the world. I'm experiencing compassion fatigue from all of this. my life has been wrought with trauma & grief, tremendous violence & loss. I desperately sought help from authorities to stop things over many decades. I have fought so hard through courts etc, I know it has cost me a lot of mental stability a lot of the time. At least my children and I are safe atm. Feeling safe is another thing entirely! happiness eludes me. I strive for the happiness of my children. I don't know how to attain personal happiness, so have strived for contentment. I work hard physically but feel far more exhausted by my mind. flashbacks and memories often come back relentlessly in my waking hours and in my dreams. Working hard physically helps me sleep better I used to be very sociable, quite athletic and had a large family. The abuse has taken its toll. My relationships were undermined by the abuser, so they are lost. My physical health was severely impacted by the abuse also. I have a counsellor but I was advised by a close friend who is studying psychology to seek a more intensive type of therapy. I have completed countless hours in therapy through books, online and in person over decades. My counsellor is very impressed by my persistence, resilience and recovery but I feel awful most of the time. I have no relationships with extended family anymore which is very sad for me. I have basically given up trying since doors are constantly closed on that front. Soon I plan to take leave from my work to support my children all struggling in their learning from home programs. I will have to take leave on far less pay, so this presents obvious issues to an already stretched financial situation. I know there is no magic cure for all the issues I have at hand but I still have hope that things will improve and that I can feel happy one day. I pray there are answers within this forum for me. Thanks for reading.

lala_ Too much drama
  • replies: 2

Hi All Not sure what Im looking for maybe just for someone to say, I feel ya, give me a pat on the back... I feel defeated by life and don't trust anyone or anything anymore, I feel the good things are a set up. Just like everyone else my life has ha... View more

Hi All Not sure what Im looking for maybe just for someone to say, I feel ya, give me a pat on the back... I feel defeated by life and don't trust anyone or anything anymore, I feel the good things are a set up. Just like everyone else my life has had it moments.Childhood - Sexual Abuse for 5 yearsTeenage years - Depression, rebellion, drug abuse, crime etc. A bad relationship, which ended with intervention orders, which were broken by physical damage and property damage.Get my life together, meet a nice man at 19, married at 22Adult years - 6 months after getting married, we were in a serious road crash and 4 people died, my parents included, my husband and I were seriously injured. Life injures. Husband I divorced 4 years later, it was amicable we had both fallen out of love trying to repair ourselves and we weren't the same people anymore. About a year later I meet another guy, relationship was normal, we started to try and have a child, due to damage from the crash and 3 miscarriages they worked out I couldn't have kids. The last miscarriage however, he didn't care and walked out on me. (literally packed his stuff and left never to be seen again)Dealt with the fact I wouldn't have kids and moved on with life.Fast forward another year and I meet the man on my dreams, he wants to look after me, gave me an instant family and everything I needed. Should have seen the narcissist coming but just wanting to be loved and that family feel again. I wanted a baby even more now, this family was everything I needed. So after two more miscarriages I got help and managed to carry to full term. I had an emergency c section, the nurse pulled the umbilical cord out when she broke my water. This is where I noticed things changed. He started to control everything, had to stay at the hospital that night, made me go home the next day. Life went down hill from here. The last beating he gave me, he her my child and nearly killed me, this wasn't the first time. I had to leave my baby with him to run to the neighbours to call the police. He was arrested and went to jail for two years. It's only now Im realising what he did and all the things he did.I get help see the right people and take the meds. Does anyone else just feel exhausted with the drama in their life, I just want peaceIm so tired of it all.

meffii just need a chat
  • replies: 6

i'm struggling with my past & i don't know what to do 

i'm struggling with my past & i don't know what to do 

Widowedmumof3 Trigger warning - PTSD after suicide of partner
  • replies: 7

Hi,I am 5 years post suicide of my husband. While I have sought counselling and other means to deal with my grief and to deal with the loss over the years, I have recently found myself "triggered". I have had a few encounters with a relative and a cl... View more

Hi,I am 5 years post suicide of my husband. While I have sought counselling and other means to deal with my grief and to deal with the loss over the years, I have recently found myself "triggered". I have had a few encounters with a relative and a close friend who confided in me regarding their mental health state, because "I would understand" that they had recently had suicidal thoughts. Thankfully they both have and are continuing with the assistance they need and are being supported. I have 2 questions: How do I deal with those who think that because my husband committed suicide that I would understand?? While I completely empathise with them and want to support them. In reality I do not understand. I was left behind. Secondly, when sharing this with me, I began to shake uncontrollably, my breath rate increased and I felt sick. Even the following day, I felt numb?? I want to be there for my friends and family, but I also do not want to feel like this. I have spoken to my counsellor and was advised that they need to respect my boundaries etc but I care for my friends and family and if I am needed I want to be able to support them as they have all supported me. Thank you so much for taking the time to read the above. It is greatly appreciated.

Megs14 Grief CPTSD and anxiety
  • replies: 3

Needing a bit of support after having my dog put to sleep last week. I’m devastated but slowly navigating my way out of it however I’ve noticed my anxiety seems to started again and after months of nothing it’s come as quite a shock. I actually ended... View more

Needing a bit of support after having my dog put to sleep last week. I’m devastated but slowly navigating my way out of it however I’ve noticed my anxiety seems to started again and after months of nothing it’s come as quite a shock. I actually ended up having a full blown attack on Friday the day after we put him down and it’s as if I’ve triggered my CPtsd ( result of losing mum at young age and neglect from parental figures ) I had no sleep for 3 days as a result. I just feel like I’ve gone backwards and it really scares me. I’ve been on a long road to recovery since my last big breakdown 4 years ago and I’m even coming of my antidepressants I’ve been doing they well. I’m so upset and annoyed with myself for allowing the anxiety to get on top of me again and my last episode was very scary for me it’s as if I’ve lost trust in myself. I hope this all makes sense I’m just sort of lost right now. I also worry I’m not grieving right or enough. I cried the day before we took him and all day the next 2 days and felt so much pain like a heaviness on my heart. I know I should be kind to myself but it’s so hard when I have been in recovery and this setback has scared me. I see my psychologist in a fortnight and I do acupuncture with a therapist next week. I just need to know I’m not alone in this and does it get better?!

Echosglory I have always had a dog to be my person but ,,,,
  • replies: 1

Hello all I have spiralled somewhat in the past few weeks as my beautiful Sheltie girl Echo died in Feb, she was 15. I grew up with a dog who was my sole source of support as a child, then had a dog while raising my children and little Echo came into... View more

Hello all I have spiralled somewhat in the past few weeks as my beautiful Sheltie girl Echo died in Feb, she was 15. I grew up with a dog who was my sole source of support as a child, then had a dog while raising my children and little Echo came into my life 15 years ago. Although I have a few friends and some are even quite close, I have always bonded best with my dogs. Echo was made an emotional support dog and then after she developed arthritis and I begin struggling with the mobility issues, we just spent lockdown and beyond together, and it was lovely.I have spent a couple of months starting to look for my next great love. I am very choosy as I want to make sure that I can fit the needs of the dog in terms of space and exercise, etc. However, I do check rescue websites, but the majority of the dogs are unsuitable for me and me for them. I have spent hours and hours every day for the last couple of months looking at puppies that would be suitable, and who I'm drawn to, but the prices of dogs is completely out of my reach. I tried putting a deposit on a dog as I thought I was getting some payment, which unfortunately didn't come through. This meant I lost my $600 deposit, which is fair, but it's put me even further behind. I don't see any way that I can raise the money I need and I'm beginning to panic. I have ever be without a dog. I don't know how to be without a dog. I don't understand why they are so very expensive, are completely out of the reach of most people I would think.I'm not looking at expensive, designer dogs, but every puppy I have found, has been around $2000, and this is just not doable. I don't know how to reconfigure everything to be without another living presence to draw comfort from and find meaning with and I feel so ashamed and pathetic that I can't even manage to buy myself a dog. Just a dog. I guess I am just needing to vent a little bit, as I was starting to hit the panic button today. So, thank you to everybody who has read this and love and light to all of you out there with fur babies.

Supermum Post therapy session struggles
  • replies: 62

I’ve been in therapy over 18 months after falling in a heap 4 years ago. My psychologist has been doing schema therapy with me and we have been doing chair work etc . The sessions can be very overwhelming and triggering and I struggle enormously with... View more

I’ve been in therapy over 18 months after falling in a heap 4 years ago. My psychologist has been doing schema therapy with me and we have been doing chair work etc . The sessions can be very overwhelming and triggering and I struggle enormously with the after effects of these sessions. My psychologist is aware and helping to find ways to work through my difficulties but my time with him is coming to a close as it’s with the public health system so I have to find a new psychologist which is daunting and anxiety provoking and I just feel like I just cannot manage all this on top of the constant reel of traumatic memories and invasive thoughts mixed with the guilt and the punishment thoughts it’s just a bit much . Any other experiences like this and ways to deal with the after effects of therapy etc would be helpful

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