Hi everyone As we get older and certainly wiser, it becomes easier I
think, to deal with what life throws at you as life's priorities become
much clearer. You learn to walk away from what's just not important,
stop worrying so much about trivialities...
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Hi everyone As we get older and certainly wiser, it becomes easier I
think, to deal with what life throws at you as life's priorities become
much clearer. You learn to walk away from what's just not important,
stop worrying so much about trivialities and think more about what it
really means to life a good life - 'A life well lived' in other words.
Well last year the best friend of my wife and myself got cancer, and now
has about three months to live. She in in New Zealand and we speak every
couple of weeks on Face Time. Yesterday I got shocking news that the
wife of one of my best friends also has cancer. Not sure what the
prognosis is but she is on her second round of chemo and losing her
amazing hair already. So - what are the best words to use when speaking
or writing to a cancer sufferer? The friend due to die shortly has
confided that she is really tired of people telling her how strong she
is, you have got this, be strong, you are a fighter etc etc. Last week I
said to her that she must feel really awful and sometimes angry about
what has happened to her, and she burst into tears saying all she wants
is friends to understand make an effort to listen. In other words, show
a little true empathy and not just empty words of encouragement that can
sound so false. Now a second friend has cancer - we learn about in on
Facebook only yesterday. Her husband is a really good mate and told me
they just weren't up to ringing people so please forgive them for
posting on Facebook a couple of weeks after the diagnosis. Nearly all
the posts on Facebook are all about how strong she is, what a fighter,
give it a big kick in the bum etc etc. I sent a post and a personal
message as well, reminding them about the holiday we had early last year
(before Covid) and how much we should all look forward the the
opportunity to do that again! Not that I look for this at all, but did
notice my post got heaps of likes. So the big question is - what does
the cancer sufferer really want to hear? I know everyone is different
and so are friendships. It's just that this double lot of rotten news
has been really hard to take and made an impact on me that I wasn't
expecting. And it's going to get worse as the end nears for both of
them. Any comments from forum users who have battled through close
friends deaths would be appreciated. Especially concerning what is was
that the dying friend found most comforting to hear. Thanks very much, I
hope to hear from you. All the best, The Bro