Hi, I didn't really know where to turn to or reach out for support, but
I'm hoping I can get some advice from here. My partner and I have been
together for nearly 6 years and got married 3 weeks ago. For about 2-3
years I've known that my partner is ...
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Hi, I didn't really know where to turn to or reach out for support, but
I'm hoping I can get some advice from here. My partner and I have been
together for nearly 6 years and got married 3 weeks ago. For about 2-3
years I've known that my partner is actually addicted to porn, and it
wasn't until the end of last year that he came to the realisation too.
He has finally started getting professional help and had even made it 3
months with watching or viewing anything. I was so incredibly proud of
him, and I could tell that our relationship was growing healthy and
stronger because of it. However, a few days ago I realised be started
acting really distant. He has had allot of stress recently due to work,
study and outside family pressure. I tried to push past it, but looking
back, I probably could have done more to have seen what was really
happening and I could have helped. Last night we started to become
intimate, and for the first time in our whole relationship, my partner
was struggling to perform. We obviously stopped cause it was clear
something was wrong. I still found this a little strange. I had to pry
over and over before he finally told me the truth. 4 days earlier he had
watched porn, and now he had been watching for the past 4 days. Pretty
heavily too. I was so upset and angry. I felt disgusted and wanted to
yell. However, I didn't. I've done some research over the past few
months and understand that's its in times like this that he needs my
support to get through. So I pushed all my feeling aside, and we stayed
up all night talking about what happened, why he relapsed and what we
can now do to help him. By the way he was acting this morning, I can
tell he is trying his best to be positive. However, I'm really
struggling. I don't want to turn to him for support cause I don't want
to burden him when he is already going through so much. To make matters
worse, I have a history of self-harm and suicide, and this whole
situation has triggered those feeling of not being enough and feeling
like I'm not worthy. I don't know how I'm suppose to be reacting to his
relapse and I don't know what to do with my emotions. I want to help him
through this journey, and I feel like I've got no one to support me. But
I don't know if that sounds selfish of not. I guess I'm just looking for
advice on how I should look after myself during this time and what I can
do to cope? Any advice would be helpful, or even if people have gone
through something similar that would help. I think it is punching a
little harder too cause it's his first relapse. Thanks.