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PTSD and trauma

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Pomster My way back to normal thinking after significant trauma
  • replies: 1

I've recently been in a traffic incident where I was a pedestrian hit by a speeding vehicle. I suffered serious physical injuries which kept me in hospital for 17 days. I have been home for just over a week but am currently unable to look after mysel... View more

I've recently been in a traffic incident where I was a pedestrian hit by a speeding vehicle. I suffered serious physical injuries which kept me in hospital for 17 days. I have been home for just over a week but am currently unable to look after myself due to a broken leg and arm. My wife is looking after me as a full-time carer.I'm struggling to find a structured way back to my normal self. I'm sleeping very little, constantly mulling everything over in my head. I know my physical injuries will heal eventually but can't see how my mental state will recover.

EventuallyMe Finding myself
  • replies: 9

I've had a lifetime of struggles and I'm still struggling with the aftermath of how people have treated me. Growing up I was the oldest of many siblings in which we had a abusive farther and a abused mother. My farther physically, mentally, and sexua... View more

I've had a lifetime of struggles and I'm still struggling with the aftermath of how people have treated me. Growing up I was the oldest of many siblings in which we had a abusive farther and a abused mother. My farther physically, mentally, and sexually abused me up until the age of 15 until I had finally had enough. He physically and mentally abused my siblings. I spent my childhood confused and hurt and now from my recent understanding I had autism. I did everything I could and took as much as his rage from my siblings I've done, been through and seen things that the average person don't understand. I've had 2 siblings go through cancer. A mother that's incapable of not only looking after herself let alone anyone else. I had a child young for which I found out my ex purposely pregnated me so I wouldnt leave. For which he turned into my farther and mentally, physically and sexually abused me aswell. Until I finally couldn't take it anymore just over 2 years ago and disconnected and shut down for which I finally walked away. I've not cone to the understanding I have autism cptsd, ocd, anxiety, severe depression. I've entered a new relationship for which I now no that my trauma from the past is effectively rising up. I have bouts of crying all the time. I struggle with communication, eye contact. Over explain and talking but to softly. People pleasing issues. Emotionally intense. Severe inner personal critic, abandonment issues and the list goes on and on. It would be great to find people who lived similar situations to provide how they have overcome even some of these things and how? I'm scared alot, I get triggered regularly and there is next to no support available just wait lists everywhere. I'd like to feel safe to discuss the things I went through is this the place or is there advice on where I can speak my truth to maybe get it off my chest and relieve some of this pressure cooker thoughts so I can see if that may free me even just a little. I've struggled with sharing as the experiences I went through I can't find people who actually understand without crying. Thankyou.

bee123987 PTSD & Children
  • replies: 4

I recently had two scares within a week where I nearly lost my 7 week old baby. I struggled with fertility for years, multiple losses & then I finally fell pregnant. Pregnancy was traumatic in itself as I was high risk the entire time always terrifie... View more

I recently had two scares within a week where I nearly lost my 7 week old baby. I struggled with fertility for years, multiple losses & then I finally fell pregnant. Pregnancy was traumatic in itself as I was high risk the entire time always terrified I’d lose her. I was diagnosed with antenatal anxiety. The moment I knew she was coming I was filled with anxiety that I may reject her because of how anxious I had been but I couldn’t have been more wrong. I fell inlove with her from the moment I saw her. I was so happy & full of life just because of one little lady who can’t even speak to me. Until a week ago, I was changing her & she vomited, choked & turned blue. She was unresponsive but only for 30 seconds. When she came too I was obviously terrified but was relieved. I saw the hospital who advised everything was semi okay & she had just had a reaction to her vaccinations that caused her throat to close. This brought on a lot of anxiety & instilled fear into me but after 2-3 days I started to feel more confident again. Until, yesterday. I was holding her, she was just drifting off to sleep when not even 30 seconds later I realised she wasn’t breathing. She was limp & blue. I immediately dialled 000 & the ambulance came. After 6 minutes fully unconscious she came too, but was in & out of consciousness. This was absolutely terrifying for me, I was breaking down when the ambulance arrived & took her. I couldn’t stand to think of my life without her, she almost died in my arms. What if I was sleeping & I never noticed? I since then have been in the hospital with her where she has been okay & is just being monitored. No one knows whats wrong. I am terrified. I keep having flashbacks, nightmares & getting chills. I can’t hold her because I see her body pale. I have PTSD which I am no stranger too but never like this. None of the trauma I have been through is like this. This feeling is indescribable. I am not sure where to start. I don’t have the answers to heal yet but I can’t physically or mentally live how I am after this. I can’t sleep, eat & I can’t stop crying. My brain has gone over the worst multiple times, preparing myself for what may be. What would you call this? How do I deal with this? I am so scared. Will I get over this?

Guest_7403 The day I lost my soul
  • replies: 148

6 years ago today an event occurred that changed my life forever. I went to work, and 18hours later when I finally walked out of that place I was never the same again. Looking about at the person I was before it, and who I am today....I can only desc... View more

6 years ago today an event occurred that changed my life forever. I went to work, and 18hours later when I finally walked out of that place I was never the same again. Looking about at the person I was before it, and who I am today....I can only describe it as losing my soul, the guy I used to be ceased to exist. I've lost so much, my home, my life, my drive and any sense of happiness or enjoyment in the short journey of life. I'm resigned to the fact that I'm never coming back, no treatment, medication or self will can ever remove this pain I live with daily. Everyone I know tells me that they believe in me, they believe I'm still inside and they believe that I can overcome this. But they're wrong, the person I used to be could of overcome those things, im not that person anymore. No one seems to understand, it's like my mind and soul left my body that day...but my body kept living. There's no better life in the future, just more days of pain and suffering. I didn't ask for this to happen to me, im not a religious person but I find myself asking god did I do something in another life to deserve this punishment. For someone whose job was to lock evil up to protect the innocent, I am now a prisoner inside my own mind. Yet, there is no key for this door and no one can hear me screaming to be let out. I look forward to the day I see that light shine through the darkness and im finally at peace I'm not at risk, it's just a very hard day for me.

Geniue Finding Myself
  • replies: 8

Hi Everyone I haven't been on for a while but I felt an urge to come and and make a post. So here goes. I have had personal experience with Anxiety and PTSD and Depression. So I wanted to get my expression of my thoughts out there in the hope it can ... View more

Hi Everyone I haven't been on for a while but I felt an urge to come and and make a post. So here goes. I have had personal experience with Anxiety and PTSD and Depression. So I wanted to get my expression of my thoughts out there in the hope it can change other people's lives for the better. I felt very lost for a really long time I also felt that I couldn't really turn to anyone because I felt they truly wouldn't understand me. I relied on the professionals and my incredibly faith that I have. When you are going through such intense pain suffering and struggles you do not know how you can overcome it. But just know when you feel like you have it rock bottom and feel like you can't get any lower than the only way is up from there. I know this because I've been there. In those moments when you feel so incredibly alone that all you have left is your faith which I've always had faith I just got lost along the way for quite a while. But when I was in solitude I prayed with everything in me that my life was going to get better and that's what I literally hung on to was Faith and Hope and I do believe in miracles because im a living testament to this. It's my hope through my personal journey thus far that it will give other people the hope and courage to hang on and know it can and does get better. It hasn't come easy for me at all and I've worked bloody hard to turn my life around. And I know if gusts will and determination and the will to fight anything is literally possible. All the very best please takecare of yourselves and know you are incredibly deserving and worthy of all the love and happiness in this world. Thankyou Hope

B-1472 Should I Open The Unconscienced Mind About SA
  • replies: 2

Hi All, I am a 50yo man. Recently I have started with a new Psychologist, and she started asking me questions about my childhood. It would seem that I might be repressing events that might have happened to me at a very young age that are in my uncons... View more

Hi All, I am a 50yo man. Recently I have started with a new Psychologist, and she started asking me questions about my childhood. It would seem that I might be repressing events that might have happened to me at a very young age that are in my unconscious mind. There is known childhood sexual abuse by a grandparent in the family so this could be what’s in there.The moment she started exploring the topic I had an emotional (tears) and physical reaction (couldn’t sit still/squirming in the chair).I am not sure if I want to open up, as this could be very painful to explore. At the moment I don’t know if I was abused, or I saw something or I just think it happened to me.I appreciate everyone is different, but I would like to know what others think, is opening up beneficial?I am also not sure if I should be discussing things with my wife and kids as I go through this, after all, I don’t really know what happened so there is nothing to discuss really, I do have symptoms, such as mood swings, some alcohol use, a lot of anxiety so I think I should be saying something?

Geniue Sexual Abuse
  • replies: 5

Hi Everyone im going to post on here something that is incredibly difficult for me to do. But I feel it's the only way I can get out whats inside of me. So here goes I was abused as a child and being abused as a child is on a whole different level to... View more

Hi Everyone im going to post on here something that is incredibly difficult for me to do. But I feel it's the only way I can get out whats inside of me. So here goes I was abused as a child and being abused as a child is on a whole different level to being hurt in anyway as an adult. I was abused not once but twice. First by the one person in my life that I believed was supposed to be there to keep me safe and protect me. Then again from an outsider. So yes you could say my whole world had literally had falling apart. And that is such and overwhelming and intense place to come back from. But what scared me even more was allowing these people to win over me. So I literally fought for my life tooth and nail to crawl my way back from the depths of hell and such despair in my life. Please if anyone can take anything away from my personal experiences in my life. Then I feel I am doing the right thing here. I truly hope this is not to confronting for everyone but I feel I needed to share this. Please takecare because mental health is so important and it should take precedence in your life. Please takcare everyone. Hope

Eevee Partner has relapsed- Porn Addiction
  • replies: 1

Hi, I didn't really know where to turn to or reach out for support, but I'm hoping I can get some advice from here. My partner and I have been together for nearly 6 years and got married 3 weeks ago. For about 2-3 years I've known that my partner is ... View more

Hi, I didn't really know where to turn to or reach out for support, but I'm hoping I can get some advice from here. My partner and I have been together for nearly 6 years and got married 3 weeks ago. For about 2-3 years I've known that my partner is actually addicted to porn, and it wasn't until the end of last year that he came to the realisation too. He has finally started getting professional help and had even made it 3 months with watching or viewing anything. I was so incredibly proud of him, and I could tell that our relationship was growing healthy and stronger because of it. However, a few days ago I realised be started acting really distant. He has had allot of stress recently due to work, study and outside family pressure. I tried to push past it, but looking back, I probably could have done more to have seen what was really happening and I could have helped. Last night we started to become intimate, and for the first time in our whole relationship, my partner was struggling to perform. We obviously stopped cause it was clear something was wrong. I still found this a little strange. I had to pry over and over before he finally told me the truth. 4 days earlier he had watched porn, and now he had been watching for the past 4 days. Pretty heavily too. I was so upset and angry. I felt disgusted and wanted to yell. However, I didn't. I've done some research over the past few months and understand that's its in times like this that he needs my support to get through. So I pushed all my feeling aside, and we stayed up all night talking about what happened, why he relapsed and what we can now do to help him. By the way he was acting this morning, I can tell he is trying his best to be positive. However, I'm really struggling. I don't want to turn to him for support cause I don't want to burden him when he is already going through so much. To make matters worse, I have a history of self-harm and suicide, and this whole situation has triggered those feeling of not being enough and feeling like I'm not worthy. I don't know how I'm suppose to be reacting to his relapse and I don't know what to do with my emotions. I want to help him through this journey, and I feel like I've got no one to support me. But I don't know if that sounds selfish of not. I guess I'm just looking for advice on how I should look after myself during this time and what I can do to cope? Any advice would be helpful, or even if people have gone through something similar that would help. I think it is punching a little harder too cause it's his first relapse. Thanks.

Clancy2024 Trapped in a relationship with a PTSD sufferer, and psychological abuser
  • replies: 1

Hello,I’m Clancy, I have been trapped in a relationship that is becoming increasingly toxic by the day.I have been in this relationship for 32 years. I have attempted to break free on three occasions previously, once prior to being married, where he ... View more

Hello,I’m Clancy, I have been trapped in a relationship that is becoming increasingly toxic by the day.I have been in this relationship for 32 years. I have attempted to break free on three occasions previously, once prior to being married, where he threatened me with physical violence.In hindsight this should have raised a large red flag, however, when he broke down in tears I felt doomed.My husband will not allow me to severe the ties. His controlling nature has intensified,and he is constantly demeaning. He is careful only to do it behind closed doors.I am currently recovering from a health issue, largely caused by my environment. I have a checklist of tasks, and just have to work through those.Any advice from someone who has been through a similar situation would be particularly helpful. As well as general advice from supporters. So grateful to have signed up to this forum.

Survive- Seeking support groups in Melbourne south east
  • replies: 1

Hi all. Was watching channel 9 “my wife my abuser” and it struck a nerve and I found myself feeling sad for the abuse I took physical , mental and emotional. 16 years in a relationship marriage being berated for the smallest things ie hanging a tea t... View more

Hi all. Was watching channel 9 “my wife my abuser” and it struck a nerve and I found myself feeling sad for the abuse I took physical , mental and emotional. 16 years in a relationship marriage being berated for the smallest things ie hanging a tea towel slightly uneven. I can’t perform a diagnosis of my ex wife but it looks like the text book narcissistic behaviour. I found myself fully functional at a in charge level of one of Australias largest companies to coming home and being a mouse of a man . We have been separated for 9 years now and there was the classic text harassment and denying visitation of a child. What I’m looking for is does anyone know of a narcissistic survivor group or similar in the south east of Melbourne. I’ve tried one on one counseling and didn’t find it helpful apart from the sharing my story. Seeking a survivor group. thanks