PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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Sophie_M If you need to talk about Bondi Beach - Our community is here
  • replies: 8

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Aus... View more

Hi everyone, After the heartbreaking events at Bondi Beach on Sunday night, we know many people in our community may be feeling shaken, distressed, or unsure how to make sense of what has happened. Religious and political violence has no place is Australia and we extend our heartfelt condolences to the individuals and families affected by this tragedy. We wanted to create a space where you can share whatever you’re feeling - whether that’s fear, shock, grief, or anything else that has come up for you. If you need support from others in the community, please feel welcome to post here. Violence and acts of terror can bring feelings of shock, grief, profound sadness, anger and fear. It’s normal to experience these emotions while trying to make sense of distressing events. It may take time for these feelings to ease, but it’s never too early to seek support if you are feeling distressed. Beyond Blue is here for you anytime, by phone on 1300 224 636 or via webchat: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/talk-to-a-counsellor You can also support those around you by being available to them and listening. Thank you for being such an important part of this community, and for the kindness, honesty, and wisdom you continue to share with each other. We remind the community that Beyond Blue is here for all people in Australia, no matter what you believe, how you live or who you worship. Kind regards Sophie M

A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Swan23 Struggling with effects of childhood sexual abuse on adulthood.
  • replies: 3

Hello, I'm new here. I don't really know how to start. I grew up in what I thought was a loving family. Mum and dad fought constantly I hated it and it scared me. From early age dad sexually abused me. I grew up very scared and confused and constantl... View more

Hello, I'm new here. I don't really know how to start. I grew up in what I thought was a loving family. Mum and dad fought constantly I hated it and it scared me. From early age dad sexually abused me. I grew up very scared and confused and constantly on edge and would space out all the time - like my mind would leave and I would'nt see hear or feel anything only scenes in my mind. I still experience the on edge and space out stuff. Mum approached me around age 10 asking if anything had happened to me. At the time I couldn't think and everything was so fuzzy so I said I didn't know. To which she replied with if anything did happen you would know it. Now in my 20s. A lot has come back to me and it is really crippling. Only really told one very close friend. I feel so alone and scared. And just generally don't know how to deal with it all. More recently I had my first boyfriend of 18 months brake up with me. It's been a super rough road. Over the years there's periods where I feel like a normal human being and nothing seems to bother me. And then from time to time (more commonly recently). it's all very overwhelming and I can't seem to function normally and space out all the time. Scream at ridiculous things. But it feels so real and I find myself crying about it. Will it ever stop. I know I need help but don't know where to start and too scared to talk to anyone about it face to face or even over phone...

Rumples FROM ONE SIDE OF THIN BLUE LINE TO THE OTHER
  • replies: 14

Hi there one and all, I'm a former Police Officer, and as with any former serving member, we've all pretty much seen the inhumanity of humanity at its worst. There's a saying in the job "when the sun goes down and the people go home, the animals come... View more

Hi there one and all, I'm a former Police Officer, and as with any former serving member, we've all pretty much seen the inhumanity of humanity at its worst. There's a saying in the job "when the sun goes down and the people go home, the animals come to prey". It's an unfortunate reality of our society today and my heart goes out to all the serving and former members of the thin blue line that keeps most of us safe at night. Having said that, my time in the job I call my "baptism of fire". I went in bright eyed and bushy tailed as one person, and came out the other side something quite different. Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, Alcoholism, Suicide etc are all accepted pars for the course of being a Police Officer. So, I can speak from first hand experience myself having survived the journey. Many of my fellow colleges didn't make it and took their own lives. It's for these fallen fellow officers I find myself here today looking to help others. It wasn't that long ago I could easily have been a caller reaching out for help. Luckily, I'm through it now, in the light and looking forward to life, and hoping to be able to lead the way out for others. A bit doom and gloom, but a happy ending!

Ez_22 Dating after trauma
  • replies: 1

Hi, I was wondering if anyone had any insights or thoughts about dating after trauma or with ongoing mental health issues? My partner took her life some time ago, and I feel like I should try put myself out there (social isolation withstanding ) Does... View more

Hi, I was wondering if anyone had any insights or thoughts about dating after trauma or with ongoing mental health issues? My partner took her life some time ago, and I feel like I should try put myself out there (social isolation withstanding ) Does anyone have any experience on how they have navigated that? It feels so incredibly overwhelming. I've also suffered my own mental health conditions in the past, but suicide is such a big gigantic red flag in life it feels scary....

Zeusette PTSD from abusive ex boyfriend then 8 or more of his friends got involved and now stalk me - struggling with daily triggers. Please help
  • replies: 1

I dont know where to start. I have a learning difficulty so its very hard for me to understand what is happening to me and then to put it in words.. so please excuse me while I try. I have severe PTSD. Basically what my ex did to me is very graphic a... View more

I dont know where to start. I have a learning difficulty so its very hard for me to understand what is happening to me and then to put it in words.. so please excuse me while I try. I have severe PTSD. Basically what my ex did to me is very graphic and not appropriate for some users to read, he repeated doing things to me over 3ish years before I could leave him. He also had filmed me 24/7 and possibly even the things he did to me. Then he told me that his friends got involved. Now I fear that they are stalking me and I don't know what to do. Some of the guys I met on dating apps and out in the clubs, they started behaving like him and did things that he used to do to me and eventually one even told me that he was spying on me for my ex! They all knew private things about my life that they shouldn't know about. At the same time I am having triggers daily and its destroying my current relationship, its making me want to turn to substance. I don't know what details I can give you as the stuff that happened and still happens today as its most likely going to upset readers. Questions I would like help with: What do I do about my stalkers? How do they know private things about me? How can I accept that there is footage of me out there I didn't know about? Do I need to go to the authorities? How can I manage daily triggers? How can I explain to my current partner whats happening? How do I know what is PTSD and not? I am so destroyed. And being isolated at home is not helping.

Guest_7403 Hospital stay for meds
  • replies: 41

Hi guys, I'm going for a hospital stay after the Easter break to trial different medications for my PTSD. I have tried everything Ads, sedatives and depot shots. I abuse my meds when I am triggered or down so the last resort was a depot shot....it ma... View more

Hi guys, I'm going for a hospital stay after the Easter break to trial different medications for my PTSD. I have tried everything Ads, sedatives and depot shots. I abuse my meds when I am triggered or down so the last resort was a depot shot....it made me heavily groggy and even after a full night sleep I still couldnt wake up. The psychiatrist wants me to do this 2 week in patient treatment to trial meds and im wondering if anyone else has done it? He says he can monitor me and see what does and doesn't work This seems pointless to me as most meds take weeks to take affect. My work place insurer is paying but it still seems pointless Any advice. I'm not currently taking anything

Guest_1643 Numb for years after abuse and toxic family/friends
  • replies: 36

Hi All, I was reading some of the threads and was impressed by people's honesty. So I decided to start a new thread to share myself what I have been through. Last year I got very unwell and had to get mental health help from the public hospital. I wa... View more

Hi All, I was reading some of the threads and was impressed by people's honesty. So I decided to start a new thread to share myself what I have been through. Last year I got very unwell and had to get mental health help from the public hospital. I was suicidal. I had no friends, was crumbling, living alone and developed horrible body dsymorphia. I looked in the mirror and was disgusted. I couldn't believe things could get so bad, like that you can kind of just die while still living. i was not taking care of myself and was a zombie at work. I told a few people I was suicidal and they didn't care. My family haven't been there for me at all, although I have one sibling who tries. A family member abused me verbally for years and destroyed my self esteem, and I'm only now putting together the pieces. I'm very numb. I keep hearing the word disacociating (terrible spelling) - ---and a light is going onfor me, it feels like the right word for what i've felt. I think that was a part of how I survived for years, by disaccoiating. I used to have friends and go out a lot but slowly I just narrowed my life down to myself, and I was alone all the time, and very sad. It became normal and I just pushed through it, until one day I couldn't any more. The triage was very helpful and pointed me to a group that helps people who are suicidal.... anyway.... i'm still here and feeling like i have a new lease on life. I do want to be here, altough the trauma still weighs me down sometimes.

BriBeek New here - childhood troubles
  • replies: 8

Hi there, I sometimes lose so much sleep over this and really hope someone can offer me some advice. When I was a kid, probably around 9 or 10, I had experimented with both a neighbour and my cousin. As a gay kid growing up in a very strict Catholic ... View more

Hi there, I sometimes lose so much sleep over this and really hope someone can offer me some advice. When I was a kid, probably around 9 or 10, I had experimented with both a neighbour and my cousin. As a gay kid growing up in a very strict Catholic and narrow minded family, I had nobody to talk to about this. It was never abusive and nobody was forcing anybody to do anything, we were curious and didn’t know it was wrong. I realise now that I’ve grown up that I’ve carried so much shame and regret about it and sometimes it feels like it consumes me. I wish it never happened and it makes me feel awful. We didn’t do it anymore once we’d grown up and we never spoke about it again, assuming we all regretted it and would prefer to pretend it never happened. I wish it hadn’t more than anything else in my life. I hate that it happened and would never EVER do anything that made someone else uncomfortable but was something wrong with me? Please tell me someone else has gone/is going through something like this? I feel so alone when I think about it.

Tialee In need of support..plus want to say thankyou for prior help etc xx
  • replies: 2

So I'm relatively new to the forums here and already I feel so welcome and accepted. I posted my first post about a week ago stating I was alone during this crazy messed up covid eppedemic I had quiet a few responses and it blew me away knowing peopl... View more

So I'm relatively new to the forums here and already I feel so welcome and accepted. I posted my first post about a week ago stating I was alone during this crazy messed up covid eppedemic I had quiet a few responses and it blew me away knowing people actually took time out of their lives to Contact me and make me feel supported and less lonely in my time of sadness. What it did make me realise though is I have so much more past/(and present) underlying issues and trauma I need to address. I have a small (very small) select real life group of friends (that I obviously can't see atm) and not many of those Friends understand or wish to understand the reasons I suffer from ptsd,aniexty, depression etc. I was speaking to one in particular yesterday and I started on a roll about my upbringing and my life story And how in my short time on this earth I have already encountered so much and she was shocked and it Made me realise that my life is not normal ,the things I have endured are not normal that I need help and that I need people in my life who I can relate to that understand me a little better and accept me for me and realise I act and say the things I do because I know what having a non normal life is like. Since the age of 6 I have seen councilors, doctors, pyschs ,etc I've tried medications and therapies to no avail yet . As I get older my condition gets worse and everyday I tell myself and everyone around me I am fine but I'm not . I guess I'm just reaching out for support from people who actually get it , not just say they do . People who have suffered and overcame, people who are struggling but are coping, people who aren't Afraid to put their hands up and admit they to need help , love and support . Because I'm now at that point in life . I want to start my healing journey properly...... It's taken a shity pandemic to make me realise majority of my real life friends and family are not a good support network So I guess I'm looking for that here ....

Bear1922 Crying at the drop of a pin.
  • replies: 6

Does the death of an onscreen character make you dissolve into tears? Not tiny tears - fully-fledged ugly crying. And I've watched the show multiple times, so the characters death was expected. I'm crying so Easily these days. Anyone else feel simila... View more

Does the death of an onscreen character make you dissolve into tears? Not tiny tears - fully-fledged ugly crying. And I've watched the show multiple times, so the characters death was expected. I'm crying so Easily these days. Anyone else feel similar?

LS_baby Emotional detachment - Could it be related to my childhood sexual trauma or toxic relationship.
  • replies: 2

First time poster. I will try keep it as short as I can but abit of back story, I was sexually assaulted when I was around 8-11 (not exactly sure) by my older cousin.. I grew up really struggling with it as I thought I had told my mum or sister at th... View more

First time poster. I will try keep it as short as I can but abit of back story, I was sexually assaulted when I was around 8-11 (not exactly sure) by my older cousin.. I grew up really struggling with it as I thought I had told my mum or sister at the time it happened and nothing was done about it nor was it dealt with in any kind of way so I guess I grew up thinking maybe that what happened to me wasn't a big deal or maybe they just don't care about me, Since having my own children I struggled even more as I could imagine if anything in anyway happened to them I would handle it ALOT differently, Its also hard because my father still acts as if nothing happened and he is still talks with his nephew as if nothing happened. I got into a relationship when I was 17, had my first baby with him at 18, he did show signs of abuse at the start (he wouldn't allow me to leave the room when arguing and he became very aggressive. This was my first real relationship, 2 kids later and a marriage, I decided I needed to get out of the toxic marriage, I struggled for years and stayed because I wanted my children to have their parents together (I grew up with both mine together despite my dad also being abusive and using drugs my whole life) So seeing my mum put up with that and staying with him through anything I felt like leaving wasn't an option until one day we were in the car arguing infront of my young children and he threatened to hurt me (there was alot more problems), I knew from that moment I needed to start planning a way to leave, it wasn't easy, there was times he would message me telling me his self-harming right now and it's my fault my children won't have a dad (really regularly). Fast forward to now I finally met someone amazing, treats me so well and honestly treats my children like his own and at first I couldn't have been happier, almost a year on I'm 20 weeks pregnant and lately have really struggled emotionally, if we do argue (normally over something small) I just feel so detached and like i have no emotional feeling at all, which then makes him feel unloved and like I don't care, I'm also not as affectionate as I was with him at the start.. I'm wondering if this has anything to do with my past? and what help do I need? I don't want to make him to feel that way, I do realize I was also like this during my marriage with my ex, especially towards the end.. I just want to feel normal