I'm really trying to feel better about myself

[Music_Freak]

I don't know where to start with this, there's so much in my head right now...

I've got nothing, but my cat...no job, no friends, far from a family priority etc. etc.

My mum died 10 years ago on 26.2 and I still miss her so badly, she was the only person I had who was in my corner. Everyone else (family, friends that currently aren't talking to me) say I play the victim and am all "woe is me"

My sister's said I look like a silverback gorilla and other such things. She's a bully who gets away with it all, because she's the favourite and "normal" (kids, married, no mental illness - although I have doubts about that last one). My dad's called me fat and said that "You're bent like your mother" (she was bipolar). He lives with me and getting him to do anything is such a battle, he doesn't feel like paying the rent, so it's left to me, goes to work when he feels like it, helps my sister with her house but won't with me etc. etc. etc....I could go on and on with them!!

I have a GP and a psychologist that I should go back to (sessions are free and they're within walking distance), but I wonder if it's worth it when my psychologist said me running an instagram account for a celebrity is me living in fantasy land

I won't write any more, because I can't see anyone replying. I've got nothing and nobody and just want to forget...

[Guest_322]

Hi Narelle,

I'm happy to hear that your mood is gradually lifting. Oh yeah, I hear you- sleep (or lack thereof) can really mess with our sense of equilibrium.

Good for you! You're connecting with people on Patook.

Yup, I'm with you on music and lyrics! I just wish concert tickets weren't so pricey. Music keeps me sane because without it...shudders at the thought.

My music taste is pretty diverse as it depends on my mood. The emotional connection to a song or piece is the most important part for me.

Hopefully the volunteer supervisor will get back to you in the next couple of days btw!

Dottie x

[Music_Freak]

Yeah, concert tickets can totally kill the budget...luckily I only really like 2 overseas bands, but I miss a lot of tours I wouldn't mind seeing.

I still haven't heard from my supervisor...very worried, will have to email in the morning. Hopefully they don't laugh at me or anything for being so paranoid

[Guest_322]

Hi Narelle,

Yeah, concerts can certainly burn a hole in the budget.

I hope your volunteer supervisor is understanding too. In theory, he or she should be pretty nice about it because you are providing a free service/free contribution after all. Mad props to you for volunteering btw 😊

I'm off to work in a bit then I've some more cleaning to do when I get home (ugh). I'm trying to get my room organised- it currently still resembles a toxic waste dump- before the semester starts.

What music is on your playlist at the moment?

Dottie x

[Music_Freak]

I heard from my supervisor, she's been away for 2 days...so I feel like a bit of a numbnuts 🙂

Oh god, my room always resembles a toxic waste dump (love that term!)

A friend I got talking to, has given me bands to look up. Epica, Nightwish and Laguna Coil. Hoping I like some of their stuff, they're all fronted by women, I believe.

I'll fire up google whenever I get off the phone from centrelink (I've been on hold for 30 mins and is 1pm...they close in 4 hours)

[Music_Freak]

Centrelink sucks!

I was on hold for an hour and gave up, so now this has left my stomach in knots. I have to force myself to call in the morning...hopefully I can sleep 😞

I could just hide in a hole and never come out. I'd cry if I could, but I just feel ill

[Guest_322]

Hi Music Freak,

It looks like both of us have the toxic waste dump bedroom in common ha, ha.

Ah, so your supervisor has been away for a bit. Oops...well, it wasn't your fault as you didn't know. So I take it you spoke to her today? Everything okay with volunteering next week?

Whoa, that was a long wait- and all for nothing too. Yeah, phone calls can be very nerve racking. Hopefully there's no super long queue tomorrow morning. You sound wiped from the call.

Awesome, let me know if any of those bands are any good! I've been listening to Mia Z's Child a fair bit lately. It's not to everyone's taste- music is so subjective after all- but I love the song.

I've finished work for the day. Have I done any cleaning? Nope.

Good luck tomorrow!

Dottie x

[Music_Freak]

Centrelink sorted!!! Took almost 2 hours, but it's sorted - what a relief!!

Yeah, I'm all good for volunteering on Monday & Tuesday, I emailed just to let her know. Hopefully there'll be no more messing them around, it makes me feel pretty crap. If only my sleeping pattern wasn't so screwed up...that's not an excuse to not go

So tired...

[Croix]

Dear Music_Freak~

I wanted to thank you for sharing your your happy memories of Halestorm on

Staying well/ Store Your Happy Memories Here:

It inspired my to go and listen to them - I've not heard them before. I Miss the Misery was pretty powerful.

So again thanks

Croix

[Guest_322]

Hi Narelle,

Yay! I'm so glad your Centrelink stress is over!

Hopefully volunteering goes smoothly over the next couple of days. Let us know how that goes, will you?

I've had a chill weekend so far. Yesterday can be summed up as music, market and buildings.

Dottie x

[Music_Freak]

Croix, I Miss The Misery is one of my favourite songs 🙂

Dottie123, I'm feeling nervous about tomorrow, not sure why, but it's annoying. I guess because I haven't been there for months...

My weekend was pretty dull, all I seemed to do was a bit of gardening and take Buddy outside 🙂