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I'm really trying to feel better about myself

Music_Freak
Community Member

I don't know where to start with this, there's so much in my head right now...

I've got nothing, but my cat...no job, no friends, far from a family priority etc. etc.

My mum died 10 years ago on 26.2 and I still miss her so badly, she was the only person I had who was in my corner. Everyone else (family, friends that currently aren't talking to me) say I play the victim and am all "woe is me"

My sister's said I look like a silverback gorilla and other such things. She's a bully who gets away with it all, because she's the favourite and "normal" (kids, married, no mental illness - although I have doubts about that last one). My dad's called me fat and said that "You're bent like your mother" (she was bipolar). He lives with me and getting him to do anything is such a battle, he doesn't feel like paying the rent, so it's left to me, goes to work when he feels like it, helps my sister with her house but won't with me etc. etc. etc....I could go on and on with them!!

I have a GP and a psychologist that I should go back to (sessions are free and they're within walking distance), but I wonder if it's worth it when my psychologist said me running an instagram account for a celebrity is me living in fantasy land

I won't write any more, because I can't see anyone replying. I've got nothing and nobody and just want to forget...

1,720 Replies 1,720

Paula81
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
We're all 'in your corner', and while its unfortunate that the ones closest to you are the ones abusing you please try to understand the issue is not with you, its these people who abuse and belittle you that have the problem and feel the need to abuse or belittle you to make themselves feel better. Try not to let their negativity and hate consume you and rise above it, much love.

I wish I wasn't so lonely that it physically hurts

I've cancelled voluntary work tomorrow, have hopefully arranged to do Monday/Tuesday, starting next week. I'm a bit bummed about not being mentally ready to go, but I don't want to turn up there sporadically anymore.

I downloaded the Patook app and have joined up today, so yay me. It's an app to make friends

There's already a few matches to chat to...only I'm far too anxious to start conversations.

Damn it...

1113
Community Member

Hi Music_Freak,

I couldn't bear seeing you talk to yourself. So here I am.

What sort of volunteer work do you have?

Hope your day goes well.

Peace

Matt

Music_Freak
Community Member

Thanks, it gets a bit like that for me here. I'm stuggling a bit today, but it's got a few small positives

I do admin/data entry. I wish it was paid, but it is what it is and probably all I can cope with right now

1113
Community Member

Hi

Getting out and about is good for you.

Money doesn't solve my disorders, Even if I won the lotto.

I enjoy music. It fills my soul with joy.

I'm a bit weird with music taste. It's kinda everything. Appreciate the noise in general and find meaning in lyrics.

What's your music interests?

Music_Freak
Community Member
Halestorm and Sixx:A.M. are my favourite bands, Sixx:A.M. especially have great lyrics 🙂

1113
Community Member

Thanks, I will check them out.

Enjoy the rest of your day. I'm out for a bit.

Chat tomz

Ps my post number will be 888. Super luckly numbers.

Hi Narelle,

It seems like your mood has taken a bit of a nosedive. Yeah, I can hear your disappointment about having to cancel/postpone today's volunteer shift.

In saying that, it was probably the right thing to do for your mental health- gotta take care of no.1 before you take care of anyone else, ya know. Hopefully, you'll feel more up to it next week.

Hey, you're giving Patook a go so that's a start, right? Props to you.

The 2 names sound vaguely familiar. I feel like I've heard of Halestorm before but I don't really know their music very well. I take it you're really into song lyrics?

Dottie x

I think my mood is slowly improving, I just have to work on my sleep routine now, it's still a bit crazy. I'm a bit worried tonight because I haven't heard from my volunteer supervisor, but I have managed to chat to a few peopke on Patook

Yeah, I seem to connect to song lyrics easily, it's like they say what I can't.

I love music, it helps my lonely soul and concerts are even better for it...I lose myself