Anyone had to spend days alone without anyone to talk to?

[Hanna3]

Hi all, apart from here and a brief visit to church last night (to make it feel Christmassy and to just be with people) I've had day after day for weeks now with nobody at all to talk to. This time of year especially it's really depressing. Old friends that live far away are gradually losing contact with me - I ring them but they don't ring me. I understand they're busy with their live elsewhere but still it's hard when you're lonely. I'm going to a Christmas Eve service at the local church tomorrow night to at least be with people for a little while... but otherwise all day I'm alone, just me and the dog. Sometimes I strike up a conversation on BB but then the other person disappears and that's the end of that...

How are people meant to cope with prolonged periods of social isolation? I read, I watch DVDs, normally I'd go for long walks with the dog but thick smoke from bushfires and intense hot weather have stopped that. I go to a café alone sometimes. Any ideas/help?

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna, wave to all, 

It is so cheering to hear Sam is feeling better... it must be such a relief for you after so many days of worry for him.

I wouldn't waste my breath giving the ladies in the park an earful if I was you... I doubt it would change anything & may make things worse... if they are trying to upset you then that would be giving them what they are after & reinforcing their attempts to feel in power... I think the best think to do is to smile say hello when you see them then simply ignore them... hopefully you will still find some nice people to talk to there.

Not that we have had much (or any) sun here lately, but yes Woofa loves sleeping in the sun... even in summer which usually results in him getting too warm & coming to pant in my face to let me know he is feeling hot. I'm dreading my next electricity bill as I've had the heating on so much for him this winter...  apart from the few times when there has been some sun for him to lay in, even with his pj's on he has been showing signs of being cold without the heating. 

It has been such a strange winter here... very cold & grey, but nowhere near the usual rain... the ground is wet & boggy, but we just aren't getting enough to have run off to fill the dams or even to get good flow in the creeks. I'm hoping we get some good spring rains.

Hugs

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Paws,

Woofa is short haired of course, no wonder he's felt the cold this winter - Sam is wearing 2 jumpers at night here until his fur grows back some more -   I've had the heating on a lot too, but it's been sub zero at night and morning here a lot, what can we do? 

Little Sam met a young six month old speckled face Great Dane the other day - he was very sweet, it was funny seeing the little dog and the great big dog saying hello to each other - the great dane was with his parents and their children who were fearless around the big dog... he was very gentle with Sam.  

I took Sam into the park the other day and smiled at the women I knew - they looked away trying to pretend they didn't see me - I'm sure they were uncomfortable, which was my aim - walking past them I just smiled at them and kept walking Sam.  I thought they all looked foolish myself.

I had an appointment with a new hairdresser today, out of town - she was recommended to me - I now have a concave bob and it looks quite nice - now I need to save up for new glasses...

I made a fabulous chow mein receipe a while back off Google - it's soooo easy - I'm into one-pot Asian food - you can cook them up in about half an hour... with frozen veggies, mince or chicken.... currypowder and sweet soy sauce.. I sprinkle the top with crunchy noodles... and made a satay chicken with a nice marinade...

It's odd you havent'had much rain Paws - the river here was flooded last week due to the rain...I was looking at the Lismore floods again on the news... the sight of all those people wading over the bridge carrying their dogs was surreal... my mother used to live in Corokai on the north coast - that town was inundated... so awful for all those poor people - the mud must be horrendous.  

I'm reading the latest Grifith rEview collection of essays about the privatisation of school education in Australia - I am so opposed to that... my brother only ever worked in public schools as a high school teacher as he believed public schools should be the best...

I hope poor Woofa can keep warm!  I have a heart ultrasound tomorrow about lunchtime... then hope to get outside with Sam as I think we are in for days of rain after that!  oxoxox

[Paw Prints]

Hello Hanna, wave to all,

I haven't had chow mein since I was in primary school... I didn't like it back then... I should give it another go as I've discovered over the past decade that I now like things I used to think horrible, like cabbage... They do say our taste buds change as we get older. 

I shared a yummy simple satay sauce on the easy recipe thread Em started

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/easy-peasy-recipes-please-share-yours/td-p/447578

I think your choice to smile & just keep walking is a great way to deal with the nasty women. I'm glad you are still meeting folk who are happy for Sam to play with their dogs & aren't snubbing you... I'm envious of you meeting the Great Dane puppy... how cute.

It does seem we are privatising our public schools by stealth... the additional fees parents are expected to pay on top of the basic stationery/text books is becoming ridiculous... 

Hugs

Paws

[mmMekitty]

Hello Hanna & Paws & all,

I have noticed in some areas around Australia, we need to take advantage of any hour the sun deigns to show itself! 

My next electricity bill is on my mind, too. Feeling cold makes me feel so miserable, & this year has been bad for me, so. for my own sake, I have been using my heater, cooking in my oven, have longer hot showers (using gas hot water), preferably when I have washing in my clothes dryer warming up the room, too. All on top of layering up. 

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It's such a pleasure thinking of the dogs playing happily, running happily, when it's been so cold & rainy this year.

As grumpy as I get, if I come across dogs, the more playful the better, or cats, (of-course), I feel my mood lift, & I can't continue that current bout of grumpiness. 

However, that will not keep me from becoming a grumpy old person. I am already grumpier & more easily irritated & annoyed & more quickly frustrated with things that don't work for me, mistakes, losing & having to find things, forgetting things, how I feel in myself, body & mind, - all more so than I had previously thought possible. Sometimes I feel about a centimetre from a full on melt down type tantrum more often seen in toddlers. It's so awful, feeling so worked up about some relatively small thing.

I've gone from thinking I had everything inside me well under control, to fearing I will simply lose control so completely I won't be able to stop it.

There are some people I think would only have a detrimental effect upon me, & that's why I don't even look their way, to keep from 'inviting' any interaction.

But if I happen to be in a park & some people are there with their dogs, & everything is nice, I might wish to join them -& maybe play with the dogs! 😸That's what I want. It would take quite a while for me to feel comfortable with the people.

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Good food, Hanna. 😸Have you used a wok? When all ingredients are prepared ready to cook, it can take five minutes to cook.

💖💖💖💖

mmMekitty

[ecomama]

Oh Hanna! GO YOU GIRLFRIEND! I love how you walked past those people (hahaha), just held your head high. Hoping you did a Beyonce swagger - just sayin'.
I would have WAVED REAL BIG AND SAID HIIIIIIII ladies! 
But that's me. 😉

I cook a lot like that too Hanna. Love Asian food. Being born in Asia, no one in my house can escape it lol. They wouldn't want to either. I have a full set of blond children who masterfully command chop sticks.

I LOVE how everyone here are animal lovers! It warms my whole heart.

Just met the horrid new neighbour who HATES all animals, except his cat (which is something I guess). He hates my pets, hates the wildlife and spoke his plans for them to me - shocking. 
For that and all the other rubbish, including being racist! I'll be speaking with the real estate asap. 

Cheeses. Exercises in setting boundaries again folks! 

100% support AFFORDABLE Public Education. The trend as it's going, people won't be able to have their children educated at school. Just like England 200y ago when only the rich could afford an education. 
GRRRRR. 
The Govt in our state as taken away the "hardship" funding from Public Schools! 
Now schools have to find monies out of their global budgeting and that's too tight. 
I called the kids high school and asked if I could donate all their past uniforms to them for families in need. 
They said PLEASE DO! 
Cheeses. 
More per head for private schools has GOT to stop. 

Rant over? Lol.

Have a lovely night everyone
Love EM

[mmMekitty]

Hi EM, (excuse me Hanna), 

Thinking of school, when I was sent to school away from home in grade 10, boarding with a family, somehow, between my family, the family I boarded with, & the Gov, I guess, who made the arrangement possible, I didn't get a long sleeve shirt for winter. I was given a white shirt, not the usual plain polyester cotton like everyone else's, but more textured, tiny fuzzy squares. I actually liked the shirt, but I was teased for that too. I remember, at the school office, they brought out a box of boy's & girl's uniform, jumpers & shoes, & how they rummaged in the box & came up with the shirt. There didn't seem many white shirts, & just this one long-sleeved. That'd just have to do her. Lucky it fit.😸

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You know, if that fellow tries to harm wildlife, that could be illegal. I'm not sure what complaining to the real estate can do, unless he is damaging the property, or otherwise breaking the lease he has. Problems with him say, being noisy or worse, using foul language to you or simply shouting loudly on the street, or making heaps of noise at inappropriate hours are either council or police matters. 

'Cheeses' 😺as you say, EM, thinking of him as an exercise in boundary setting - hehehe! That would make him good for something, wouldn't it? How ironic.

💖💖💖💖

mmMekitty

[ecomama]

Hey Hanna, we love you lol... and YOU ROCK! 

Kitty, I didn't write the reasons I'll be contacting the real estate agent asap. That IS their concern. He told me he was going to LIE to them about saying I approached them to demand a new fence... omg. 
Worse. He's set on committing fraud with that fence. Get a friend to charge extra etc etc. 

Oh yeah I'm well aware of who to call if he's demonstrating his nutter-ism. 
Victim's Services already installed CCTV here because of past "events" but due to demon, not this neighbour I had never met before. 
I've been there, done that to the nth degree I'm sad to say. 

Re: bullying which is disgusting. 
I used the analogy of the "pecking order" in chickens' groupings. My kids got that as we've always owned rescue hens. 
Humans in close quarters are reduced to nothing more than a chook sized brain pecking order. 
My 2c. 

My son's response to this is his favourite self talk in instances like this.... 
"Don't mistake my patience for weakness". 

This neighbour has NO IDEA who he tried to intimidate today. 
He'll find out. 

Boundaries and LOTS of Hang Drum Massive lol!

HUGS to all the lovelies here and their human owners too! hahaha.
Love EMxxxx

[Hanna3]

Hi all,

I can't reply to everyone individually due to time, and I have difficulty seeing which post is following which, so I'm not sure what is the most recent.  These forums are a nuisance to navigate now.  Paws thanks for the recipe, I've been doing satays forever and just use the one Ive always used... it's been very very cold here with rain and icy winds.... 

Our public education system and our free health system are both struggling under huge demand and under funding - people want these services but don't want to pay higher taxes, and therein lies the problem.  

I was not saying I would lose my temper or get angry at those women, I never raise my voice - I merely will, at the right time, tell them it is a shame, as they are getting very old, that they don't choose to make the world a little kinder rather than adding to the unhappiness in the world, Lord knows with Ukraine, the troubles in other countries, what has happened to Salmon Rushdie - there is enough suffering and misery in the world, and we should all do our best to be kinder to each other.

When you speak calmly, without anger, I find it more effective than anger.

[Hanna3]

Hi EM, mmMekitty and everyone here,

There was a program on the ABC some time ago, about a new high school that opened up in Melbourne - or sorry, it got taken over by a new principal and it was in an impoverished area of that city.  The principal wanted to change the uniform (it was a boys' high school) and asked the boys what they wanted.  He thought they would want something casual - but what they chose was a formal uniform with blazer with the school crest on it.  It turned out they felt bad on the railway stations where they waited with the private school boys who wore smart uniforms, and they wanted to look the same.  So that is what they got, and took much pride in it.

I felt that showed how bad kids can feel if made to feel poorer and " less" than other people, and how little it can take to instill a sense of self pride and confidence back in them.

Your new neighbour sounds awful, I hope things settle down for you soon!  oxoxo

[Hanna3]

Hi mmMekitty,

Kids sure do pick on anyone the slightest bit different - even if it's just their school shirt!  I'm glad they found you one so that you were able to fit in, kids can be brutal.

Somewhere you were talking about hospital wait lists and priorities - I don't know how they do these now, it must be complicated as they have to take in urgency, which hospital has the right equipment/doctors etc - bed numbers.. people seem to be waiting a long time now.  I'm sorry you are uncomfortable.

When I was employed at a big teaching hospital in the city, we had a man who had a huge aortic aneurysm that could rupture and killl him any minute  Every day we starved him ready for surgery, and every day at the last minute the only bed available in the Intensive Care Unit was taken by someone with a cardiac arrest, or car accident - and he couldn't have the surgery, could eat again, and then be starved again the next day.  This went on for about ten days until we got an ICU bed for him.

That was about twenty years ago when things were much better than now - so I can't imagine how difficult things are now.  I am sorry you have to wait and wait.  

Bitterly cold here today with wind, occasional sleet, and rain with intermittent brief sunshine - real snow weather!   oxoxox