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Anyone had to spend days alone without anyone to talk to?

Hanna3
Community Member

Hi all, apart from here and a brief visit to church last night (to make it feel Christmassy and to just be with people) I've had day after day for weeks now with nobody at all to talk to. This time of year especially it's really depressing. Old friends that live far away are gradually losing contact with me - I ring them but they don't ring me. I understand they're busy with their live elsewhere but still it's hard when you're lonely. I'm going to a Christmas Eve service at the local church tomorrow night to at least be with people for a little while... but otherwise all day I'm alone, just me and the dog. Sometimes I strike up a conversation on BB but then the other person disappears and that's the end of that...

How are people meant to cope with prolonged periods of social isolation? I read, I watch DVDs, normally I'd go for long walks with the dog but thick smoke from bushfires and intense hot weather have stopped that. I go to a café alone sometimes. Any ideas/help?

3,069 Replies 3,069

Hi paws and everyone

Just stopped by late this evening, I had to go to have blood tests then grocery shopping, gosh things are expensive! Nice cold overcast day, I'm definitely a winter person!

That's the reservation I have about Bridge, Paws - I don't like having to have a partner. It's only one hour in another week's time in the evening, so I might go and have a look, it can't hurt. I'm rather unwell currently as I'm suffering from bad oedema and it's difficult to walk or breathe well. This was very sudden and we don't know the cause yet, but it's worse as the day goes on, so I'll see how I go.

I feel sad about Judith Durham, I grew up listening to the seekers songs, it's a reminder I'm getting old!!! My music teacher must be upset, he adored Judith Durham!

I have been phoning an elderly friend in the city each day, she was our neighbour growing up and her husband died a few days ago from a sudden fall, he was 98 and she is 96,they were married for 71 years so you can imagine the loss she feels. She has children and grandchildren but still needs someone to phone her and chat. It's very hard for her at that age.

Sam and I were both tired this afternoon so we just stayed home, it was nice to just relax.

I recommended a book to you on your thread Paws.

Hugs from us here 🤗💞🐕🐩

Hanna3
Community Member

Hi mmMekitty,

 

I have dangerous overhanging tree branches here and I have been trying to get them lopped for two years now with no success - Housing won't do it, I wrote to the local MP and he just referred it back to Housing.  You might have a better local Member there, you could try writing to him or her and you might have more success than me!  Good luck!

Hanna3
Community Member

Thanks Em, but I don't get upset at these things, just amused.  The way house prices are going up Australia will have to change to be more like Europe with people renting securely for life - I don't waste my energy trying to change people like her - I just found it interesting.  Cheers.

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello Dear Hanna, Paws, ecomama and everyone….🤗..

 

I am sorry about what happened with your music lessons…that’s so unfair and mean by new management…..I do hope you will continue to learn from you tube and sit outside on a warm spring/summer evening and strum your guitar…..I know it’s something you enjoyed….

 

Sad news about Judith Durham, she had an amazing voice and will always be remembered for the beautiful person she was…RIP…

 

The only card game I know how to play is Solitaire and play it a lot on my iPad….I don’t understand bridge at all…I do like the idea that you will go along and have a look at what goes on….I suppose we don’t know if we like something until we give it a try…

 

I know that you don’t want to be fussed about, but sorry sweet Hanna…I do care about you a lot and wanted to let you know that I hope everything turns out okay for you and the tests are not to overwhelming for you……I know how they can be at times…if you feel to talk at anytime…please know that we all do care and love you a lot…

 

Well done leaving your contact details and the number plate of the runaway car….Too many dishonest people, who just don’t respect other peoples property…

I am wondering if you could try ringing your power supply company about the big tree..if it’s branches are close to the electric wires, then the electric company will do something about it…..I know they do check the trees around here a few times a year….


Please take good care of you and Sam…..and stay as warm as you can…


Sending you, Sam and everyone my love, care and hugs..

Grandy..

 

 

 

 

Hanna3
Community Member

Hi Grandy, thank you for your kind thoughts - I have a test next Thursday, so we'll see how things go - like you, I hate having to have tests etc etc - I can think of so many nice things I'd rather be doing!  

 

I understand the music school reducing my bursary, but i do wonder if it's in their interest really, as it stops me from attending at all, which means they miss out on all the money, if they kept the bursary they would be getting something as I could continue lessons... although with how expensive groceries, petrol, heating is now, I don't know if I could have even then.  It's OK as I didn't want to go in winter as it's so hard to go out at 4pm when it's getting dark and cold... and it's been a cold winter.  

I don't think I will like bridge but as it is a free one hour trial lesson I should make myself go, at least I will have tried!  Funny, I've been decluttering and today in the library I found a book called The life changing magic of a little mess - how to let your standards slip.  That did make me laugh!  It's quite funny, about having a messy house!

I am wondering what to do - I chatted to the husband of one of the women in the dog park - we were sitting in the group - he mentioned he came from near where I had lived in the city, & we chatted about the traffic etc - I saw one of the women make a face at his wife - next day they all walked out as soon as I walked in - the entire group has been shunning me ever since, for months now - if I go near the park they get up and leave - we go to the big park now - Sam can't play with their small dogs any more - they are nasty women I discovered - they have a bad reputation with other people who go to the park - does anyone have pointers on how to cope with being shunned?  It's so nasty!

Hugs.

Hanna3
Community Member

Do you ever watch/listen to the Seekers on utube Grandy?I was upset when I heard about Judith Durham's death last night, I've been listening to her since I was a kid in the 1860s and I felt as if part of my childhood had gone. Such a pretty thing with such a beautiful distinctive voice! 💞🌷

Paw Prints
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hello Hanna'

 

I think the only way to deal with folk like that is to feel sorry for them & their sad existence... how horrible must their life be... you should be glad they take themselves off... think how much worse it would be having to speak too & be polite to such...  

 

Your mentioning the bridge group got me wondering if perhaps your local community groups ran other card/board game groups you might want to try... perhaps there are chess, backgammon etc , or ordinary card game groups... which would probably more relaxed & social than a bridge group.

 

Hugs

Paws

 

Hi Paws and everyone,

 

I know these women can be nasty to other women...there are a couple of ringleaders and the others just go along - but all I did was chat about the traffic to one of the men there in the group for a bit, as he had lived near me - yesterday i took Sam in as he loves to play with their little dogs - I didn't sit down - the women didn't know what to do and got up to leave of course - so immediately I went into the other big park next door so they didnt get the opportunity to shun me again - even the ones who were nice to me before look away if I say hello.. I am so tired of groups of women - they must have little in their lives and I suppose picking on someone gives them something to gossip about and plot and gives them a feeling of power - I wonder if I should really give them a piece of my mind, maybe its time someone gave them an earful, they are so nasty to so many people there.  I just feel sorry for Sam that he can only play with the big dogs now!

That woman I talked about here a while ago, who lives 6 houses up but won't meet for coffee, said she wasn't social and had had no friend to even get her a panadol when she lived in Melbourne - I see her in the big dog park all the time - she used to text me constantly - she suddently stopped a couple of weeks ago - no answer to me - now when I go that park she keeps away from me, she never has patted Sam when I think about it - her dog plays with Sam and I pat her dog - she never comes near - will speak briefly when I speak to her then go away again - she now talks mostly to another woman...I find it so strange she texted non stop about needing a friend, would never meet up or come here, and now backs away and avoids me - avoidant personality I wonder?  I still try to chat to her nicely. ,,, what is wrong with people these days?  I found myself thinking about the problems Grandy had with the women at the op shop, I'm sure groups of women are a problem... and I can only think this lady has some issues about getting close to people - and she backs away?  Any thoughts anyone?

Hi Paws

I think Bridge is pretty social, I have a friend who plays at bridge parties all over the place and loves it - I just suspect I won't be very good at it...

I had a great chat with an old friend up the coast about the group of nasty women, we were saying how awful to have the reputation they have - everyone in the other park loathes them,they're notoriously nasty and people keep saying they are an example of not to grow old - they've grown old and cranky. A lady I met who wanted to walk with me and Sam said she wouldn't go at a time when they were there as they're so unfriendly.

It would be awful to have a reputation like that!

Sam was so well and bright today, it was a glorious spring day and we picknicked by the river and he ran and ran, he was so happy!

Does Woofa enjoy the sunny spring weather Paws?

Grandy, do your furs enjoy it?

Waves to mmMekitty, Em and everyone! 🐕💞🤗🐩🌞🌼🥀🌻