Adopted son of 37 years just contacted me..I'm so scared as what to do.

[Ggrand]

Hi I have another thread but unrelated to this.

37 years ago my husband and young son (2tears old). was living in our car for around 8 months.I was pregnant at the time. My parents disowned me when I eloped with my husband. My husbands parents were strange and we never told them we were living in the car.

I gave birth to my second son while we were living in the car. My hubby contacted his father and his Godmother who both talked us into putting our baby into foster care for a few months until we got organized, as we couldn't have a baby living in the car. After I got out of hospital my father in law told us to stay with him. Then a woman from child services came to see us and said it best to adopt our baby out.I didn't want to but I had to or we were back in the car living and would loose our baby and possibly our other young son . because father in law said it was the only way we could stay with them.

My adopted son found me and contacted me on Sunday I was to shocked to answer him back until today.contact has only been through facebook messenger. I told him i will ring him tonight around 8.30pm.

I have never told my 2 other sons about him. I don't know how to tell them.Will they hate me for doing this as I have hated myself and never forgiven myself over all these years.I have thought about him over the years especially on his birthdays. I am so very scared. Hubby died 4 years ago so I have to do this on my own.

Hubby and I decided we would never try to find him as we didn't want to upset his life..I am a complete mess as what to do..Please can someone help me.

[Guest_128]

What's going on?

here for a bit ,if you want to chat

[quirkywords]

Ggrand

What do you mean by they? What is lions den?

I am here too if you want to talk/write.

Thinking of you.

Quirky

[Neil_1]

Dear Karen,

It’s now Monday … would dearly love to know how your weekend went? As others have said, we’re concerned as we don’t know what you’re meaning with your latest comment ?

Hope to hear from you soon,

Neil

[Ggrand]

I'm all messed up inside..I want to go home but I don't want to go to my youngest sons home and get my things..I've been driving around all morning not knowing what or where to go.. I'm just sitting in the car on the side of a road atm.

Please give me a bit of time yesterday I feel it would have been ok if it was just myself and 2 sons.one of my son's and partner so disappointed me.

I also am so angry with myself over my lack of being able to socialize.

Both accepted the situation.. but i dont know I just feel so vulnerable with my lack of confidence..

My adopted son must think I am so dull..just give me time to get my head together and able to write more about it..

Karen.

Ka

[quirkywords]

Karen

Thanks so much for writing. I am sorry you are messed up inside.

Take all the time . We were just worried. It must be so confusing for you.

When you are ready to write we are here ready to listen and hug.

You are brave and kind .

Kind thoughts

Quirky

[white knight]

Ggrand

rest, take your time lovely.

Tony WK

[Ggrand]

Hello.

Ok doing it like this a and b my 2 sons c adopted son.

I told a & b Saturday it was hard a million questions were asked and finally a & b accepted c.

I told a&b to talk it out between them both while I went outside for time out.

They came out around 2 hours later and said it's ok we understand and love you.

They said that we will all go to a for a BBQ on Sunday and talk more. I said ok.

Sunday arrives.

11am at a place I felt something not right because daughter in law and all the children there..she usually not there when I turn up....

1pm c arrives with family.im absolutely devastated my sons could do this behind my back.

[quirkywords]

What a lot has happened to you over the weekend. It was great that a and b accepted c and said they loved you.

That must have been so hard for you being surprised like that when you thought you were all going to chat.

After the surprise what happened and how did you cope and feel?

Did a and b explain later why they invited c? I suppose they were eager to meet him and his family but did not realise you needed time and to be consulted first.

I realise this is difficult for you to write about but when you are ready we are here for you.

Sending hugs.

Quirky

[Guest_1055]

Karen we met on the nature thread very briefly.... So a cheery hello to you again....

Anyway I wanted to say I have been keeping up with what has been happening in your life here. I have kept quiet up until now, because I really want to encourage you. And for you to know how much I admire you. You have such courage even though you may not feel it, you actually do.

I believe everything will all work out and it will be all okay. I know you feel like your sons a and b did not consider your feelings there. I am sorry you were hurt by their hasty decision . That must have hurt a lot.

And perhaps they were just so focused on knowing they had another brother and were not thinking straight or something. Shock maybe

You are super brave Karen. And you are such a lovely person.

Here is a hug if you would like one.

Shell x

[Guest_128]

Oh my,

Your poor thing, didn't see that coming.

You must be soooo exhausted. Your would be spinning so fast.

What a huge shock and yeah not one you want like that.

Im hoping that you are getting some quiet time,there's just to much going on.

I am very proud of you ! You have done something that a lot could not.

And you owned when YOU said I'm going outside to have time to myself.

Try and be mindful that YOU are ver full and your coping skills won't be very alert,so try not make rash decisions.

This is so hard but I am so very proud of you,oh man now I'm crying.😢

Dory