Plain misery

[Joe_the_Innocent27]

I have had a rough 12 years

I was bullied in high school by about 8 people, from the ages of 12 - 18

I have been mis diagnosed with originally psychosis and than schizophrenia, and I was told to be kept on anti psychotic medications for life, for when I don't even have schizophrenia, I have contracted pre diabetes from past medications 

My mother is horrible

1) She treats me as a mental disability or retarded
2) She can't be disagreed with
3) She doesn't encourage my driving, despite having a license
4) She doesn't believe in the need for me to work occupations
5) She tells you to handle the world, when your confident and brave with your beliefs. She rejects you    to face your problems, because you either have to be a beta cuck for her, or she abandons your support

My father

1) His selfish and entitled
2) His arrogant and ignorant
3) His in communicative and absent
4) His controlling and wanting peace

I am in a continuous cycle of a quarter life existential crisis. At the age of 27 I haven't had a entry job, or plan interest for further study, I am not a University academia or TAFE interested, I have to get a injection of 50 mg anti psychotic drug for no schizophrenia per month, I live with pre diabetes, my parents are unsupportive, and my brother is different than me

I don't have the ability to handle the independence of living alone either, and don't want to be with strangers, or anyone besides a partner or my own competence  

[Guest_1584]

Hi op , well l'm double your age or abouts and what we have become this last few decades it disgusts me too and to top it off they seem all so impressed with the US and the Americanism flooding in is a disgrace, even their accents creeping in, that's fact. What's wrong with Australian/UK , that's our roots not the US that place is just a bloody mess wth would we all be so impressed we should be cultural enough to see through it.

But sadly yeah , we've also become very shallow, materialistic, money money gdp's , that's what 20 yrs of liberal did to us- maybe it's longer dk. Ridiculous million dollar house in the burbs price tags, new cars yeah and must haves, all the mods, l dunno. There's zero depth it just embarrasses me tbh. 

rx

[Joe_the_Innocent27]

I agree that you can't retain British terminology anymore or be proud of your Australian accent, without being seen as a bogan, The only reason I like America is because their innovative with culture, but mostly because I want to be religious, and I am a spiritual person, America has so many problems that I don't like or want to be American, but Australia is too secular for my aspiring beliefs and character, not to mention being a 1995 millenial, my generation is dead with any relative beliefs. I also feel depressed because for the last 10 years, I've been taking pharmaceutical medication for a mis diagnosis that I know is wrong without lacking insight, I also wanted to be a creative singer since I was 14, but I was bullied in high school, and my fathers personality always made me feel introverted and mute from being true with myself because he was extroverted and not a creative geek, I wanted to be a religious U.S. personality, with British literature, Australian humble nature, I couldn't pick either when I feel a mixture of all sorts, especially my humour is more British or U.S. despite liking Chris Lilley from Sydney, I don't like how the world is a global mainstream, Australia is more low key and not a trend persona which I admire, I have so many problems with career direction, even entry work sense, or knowing where to find friendship's or whatever, I've always had a belief since 13 I would be depressed, because I know I'm obscure and nothing with my life falls together either through my country's culture, or through the wrong people 

[Joe_the_Innocent27]

I am getting heavily depressed, I am a social conservative, a Christian religious agenda, and Australia is a heavily secular, leftist modern culture, I am wanting to immigrate to Texas for my types of personality 

The reason I'm also depressed, I am 27 with a mis diagnosis of Schizophrenia and treatment for the last    10 years, I have sadly contracted pre diabetes aswell, but it's very well managed, I am treated as lacking insight by my doctors, when I posses the truth that it's a mis diagnosis 

I have no career direction for security, or any sense for suitable entry job's, I don't even know the most affective way to land ( payed ) employment 

I have no idea how to make friendship's or where to meet people I like, I don't even know wither I want to ever be married, I want friends, but I'm not sure the kind of friends I want, I just want friendly respective loyal friends with a sense for religion and a bit of conversation, and activity 

[ecomama]

Hey Joe, 

THIS could be your calling! 

Did you realise this? 

Your impulse is to move to Texas. 
How does the Holy Spirit manifest in your life? 
Impulse, instinct, a strong pull could be that for you. 

Praying on this may help. 
EM

[Joe_the_Innocent27]

I am without payed work history at 27, only 11 month's volunteer, I don't have direction for the right suitable entry job's or career sense 

I also am without any friendship's, only relying on my mother and brother 

I am wanting a girlfriend and intimacy for the first time, but know I must be working to be valuable for it

I am with a toxic father who can have a controlling and socially silencing personality, He makes me out to be this shy, hermit, introverted, mute personality, He thinks I have to prove my sociability to him, His told my mother where never going to work, He thinks living a life without aspirations, ambition, and a weekly stimulus routine is fine, but he only ignores the necessity of normality with his kids, and wife, rather than with himself and the rest of the world 

I hate having to live under the financial stability of this arrogant, opinionated, ignorant prior generational parent, with the belief in gender norms, He never was praising, He believed when your doing well at your studies that's the way things are "supposed" to be. Never had encouragement/praise/support, He was never a selfless parent, unless it was with his own interests, Also through his jealousy he would question my literate wording or spelling as dyslexic because he barely finished year 10 in schooling back in the day and doesn't know better 

[Joe_the_Innocent27]

I have always been conservative, traditional, religious/spiritual and a nationalist - patriot 

ALL of which reflects the U.S.A. and not where I'm from

I was born in Melbourne, AUSTRALIA, and since 8 years old have wanted to be living in America,                    I am losing belief I will ever get to live in the U.S.

[Guest_1584]

How ironic that l come mentioning the Americanism here but yet here you are op , dreaming of the place. l couldn't disagree more and from experience first hand, with your idealism of it and the people butttt hey , ea to their own so l'll say no more then. Not one to run down anothers dreams just bc they wouldn't be mine.

lf you feel that could be your calling though then there's still plenty of time at your age why couldn't you start working toward doing your dream.

Good luck.

rx

[Joe_the_Innocent27]

I'm 27 born in 1995, but despite my generation, I know that America is the superficial toxic cultivating influence on the world, I hate the feeling I can't speak Australian or feel happy with my country, without people bullying one as a bogan, or believing that were all Australian's even if integrated than raised under one's land, there's no nationalism and confidence behind Australia, we depend on the U.S. and we become this influenced cultural hybrid simp, it's the downfall of Australia 

[Joe_the_Innocent27]

I don't like the U.S. it's a very problematic country, but at the same time that's the only society that seems to regard a older tradition or religious persona, I don't like the negative influence with the U.S. I just like to be more believing in a God and fighting against the joke of the worlds influence 

[therising]

Hi Joe

Do you feel like 'picking the best out of a bad lot' best describes how you feel in some way? To elaborate, picking the best country for structured spirituality out of a bad or weak lot of structures, when it comes to how you relate to spirituality and God. Do you feel that American Christianity is more enthusiastic and devoted than anywhere else?

I've found the things that resonate best with my inner compass are often the things I'm drawn to most. Having a sense of spirituality plays a big part in my life. I find it challenging to live life without that sense or connection. No matter the challenge I face, whether it be anxiety inducing or deeply depressing, I always find myself returning to that element which grounds me and gives me a sense of belonging and direction.

Have you ever been led to explore spirituality more deeply both within and beyond Christianity? Not suggesting it, just simply wondering. Personally, I'd class myself as a 'collector'. I like to collect insights, philosophies, beliefs, practices etc from a variety of spiritual structures (religions/cultures). I like to collect what I feel gives me a greater understanding of life and my connection to it.

To be a part of a spiritual community that relates to how you feel can be a deeply fulfilling experience. I can understand such a longing. Life can feel somewhat lonely without that connection, support and understanding.