How do I break the chain?

Jersey_Girl · ‎12-10-2014

I haven't always been like this. I used to be so active and enjoyed life. These days I struggle to get out of bed and when I finally do I feel like a brick is holding me down. I push myself to have a shower and then push myself to do things. I often find myself sitting on the couch wasting the day away. I lack so much confidence and stress about the smallest task. If I could I would spend all day in bed.

I have been reading lots of posts on here trying to get some strategies in place but I am so unmotivated. I guess I am hoping that some of you might have some ideas. I used to work full time but over dd it and had a break down. I now have a few hours of part time work with my sister. I have to push myself to get to work and stress about the smallest things. I have put on a lot of weight which is depressing in itself but lack the motivation to do anything about it. I do see a psychiatrist but I am thinking that maybe I need to see a psychologist for some counseling.

I am hoping that I can start a thread that will enable me to tell my story. Looking forward to hearing from others and hearing how they break the chain. Some days I just don't want to push myself anymore but I know that I can't live like this forever. I want my old self back. The one that was willing to give anything a try and enjoyed life.

I

Jersey_Girl · ‎06-11-2014

Thanks John for your reply.

I am still struggling every day. Just hanging in there waiting for the antidepressants to kick in. Tomorrow is another day!

CrashCoyote · ‎07-11-2014

Hi Jersey Girl,

I have been thinking of you a lot today, not so much as my GF would be cranky if she knew, but a bit nonetheless.

I have been in a relationship with a lady that needed meds and I know it is very hard easing onto and off them. I hope you find the strength to endure until they can provide some relief.

I will watch out for your posts.

Kind regards, John

Jersey_Girl · ‎08-11-2014

Today is another day just like yesterday. I an finding everyday a struggle. I have had a shower and now am sitting on my couch willing the day away. I need to get to the supermarket as supplies are out but I just can't bring myself to do anything. I have no appetite and worry that by not eating I am just heading for other problems. All I want to do is lie down and wait for the day to end. There has to be more to life than this.

CrashCoyote · ‎09-11-2014

Hi Jersey Girl,

Than at least try and keep posting. Sometimes things will happen in your life that can make big changes very quickly, even for the better. You may find something interesting enough to engage as volunteerism or a new friend. Please just keep communication going to try and not spiral down.

Kind regards, John.

Jersey_Girl · ‎10-11-2014

Thanks John for keeping in touch. I am staying with my mum for this week. Hopefully with a little TLC I will feel a bit better. Will try to get to work on Wednesday and Thursday arvos. Friday I work from home so I will go home Friday. A change is a good as a holiday so they say.

CrashCoyote · ‎11-11-2014

No worries. I hope you have a good time. Let me know what you got up to. 🙂

Jersey_Girl · ‎22-11-2014

Things haven't been all that good. As I write this it is evening and things always seem more manageable in the evening. I struggle every morning to get out of bed and feel for a good part of the day I am in an unmotivated fog. I am still with my mum and dread the day I have to go home. I have met my new psychiatrist and have a small task to do. I have to go for a 15 - 20 min walk three times a week in the morning. Sounds so easy!!! But I am struggling. I haven't been to work for the past 2 weeks, I just can't bring myself to get there.

I have been on my new antidepressant for 3 1/2 weeks so I am hoping any day now I might notice some change.

Tomorrow is another day, maybe I will feel like going for a walk in the morning.

helping_hand · ‎23-11-2014

Hi Jersey Girl,

Im sorry to hear about your situation but I am glad that are you still able to post on this site. A close friend of mine was in a similar situation as yourself about 6 months ago, I thought I would share some of her thoughts that she communicated to me regarding that experience.

Don't let yourself lie in bed for hours on end as this is ultimately counter-productive to feeling better. I know it must be excruciatingly hard to generate action but ultimately if you can build on the small things that you are able to do, such as posting on this site it will help you to develop a beneficial routine, which can be invaluable in improving your quality of life in the short term until the meds kick in.

I know it will be hard because you might not see the results straight away and because of that you might fail to see the point of doing anything, which could lead you to reason that you should just stay in bed. This is what she felt like most days, however she was able to convince her self that the benefit of her actions (such as walking, eating healthy and trying to think positive) were independent of her emotions at this stage. In other words, she would never feel like walking or eating but she made the best effort she could to do so even though she knew that she would likely not feel that much different afterwards.

The time until the meds kick in is not so much about getting better by yourself, but rather is about not getting worse and at the same time if you can develop a routine of some sort that includes beneficial actions this will ultimately help you down the track.

Life isn't a sprint its a marathon and accordingly sometimes you have to do your best to do things now that you won't see benefit in until a later date.

I hope some of this helps. Try to stay in touch xx

Kind Regards,

Danny

Snoman · ‎24-11-2014

Hey Jersey Girl,

Someone else here once posted on another thread that action precedes motivation. I have often thought about that, and have concluded that it is definitely true when you have depression. Not sure about when you don't, but this is where we are and thats what matters.

I like the idea of having your clothes ready the night before. I also love the lists of things to do, including routine things. All great ideas people have suggested.

Reading your posts, it seems you are at your best in the evenings. You are also keen to go for walks in the morning, but struggling to get going. Can I suggest that you go for a walk in the evening or late afternoon instead. Even aim for every day or every second day.

Once around the block is better than nothing. In fact, all you have to do is go out and walk for at least 2 minutes. If, after 2 minutes, you want to go back and climb on your couch, you can. Yes you read that right. After 2 minutes, you can go back to your couch if you want to. But you must head out and walk for 2 minutes. You can do 2 minutes, right?

By the way, the 2 minute thing applies to any task. We often find getting started is the hardest part. Allowing ourselves a small target of 2 minutes makes the getting started part not so hard. Once we are going, it is easier to keep going. If its a day where you don't want to keep going, thats ok. You did your 2 minutes.

My wife would push me to take the dog for a walk several times a week. I'm glad she did as it helped me tremendously. The impact was not immediate - not like it helped that day or even the next.

Crazy as it seems, I deliberately walk around the house, taking the long way around tables to get things or when making a cuppa. Each step I take each day is a step towards a better day.

Speaking of dogs, how are you going with the idea of getting one? I have a small dog and a cat. Both are always prepared to be cuddled, patted or played with (but I think I get the most benefit from that). Their unconditional love is very supportive.

Sno

Jersey_Girl · ‎24-11-2014

Thankyou snoman and Danny for your support. Last night I went for a walk around the block (about15 mins) and had planned to get up this morning and go straight for a walk. It hasn't stopped raining today so my walk has been postponed but I haven't gone back to bed.

I have gone from a very busy life to one that has no meaning / purpose. Staying at mums has been a relief but I don't really have an interest in anything that might keep me amused. I am not interested in catching up with friends and if I did I would be quite anxious.

I know that you both believe keeping active is important and it is a huge effort but I am trying.

I think I have a more positive frame of mind today. Yesterday I was ready to give up hope. I tend to feel better in the evenings and dread going to bed because I wake up feeling cloudy and unmotivated and the process starts again. Today I didn't really have that cloudy feeling. It's a pity it's still raining but tomorrow is another day.