Hi all, I’m a 24yr old female who’s suffered with general anxiety and
social anxiety basically my whole life but a few times this has flared
into full blown depression. I’m currently in the biggest depression of
my life which has likely come as a cha...
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Hi all, I’m a 24yr old female who’s suffered with general anxiety and
social anxiety basically my whole life but a few times this has flared
into full blown depression. I’m currently in the biggest depression of
my life which has likely come as a change to my anti
anxiety/antidepressant medication about 2 months ago that was clearly
the wrong medication for me (side note: anyone ever been prescribed
medication and had the most crippling suicidal depression come?). My
doctor thinks we have fixed the medication issue and now I just need to
gradually move from one drug to another and I will be seeing a
psychologist as well soon. But in the mean time, the depression anxiety
is off the charts. Every waking moment I’m either crying or actively
using energy to stop myself drink crying and every possible thought
about my life is met with the realisation I’m inadequate. I think about
things that I always think and feel but a usually about to cope with and
push through but now I can’t seem to get away from. Everything bad pops
into my head: no one likes me, I’m overweight and unattractive, I’m not
fun, I won’t ever find someone to love me, I’m a failure, a loser, I’ll
never find my passion in life, everyone feels sorry for me, I’m a burden
to those helping me through this, life is worthless and meaningless,
everything is too hard and overwhelming. You name it, I’ve thought of
it. The biggest fear that seems to loop into everything is that because
of all these problems and ways I fall short in life that I will never
find a partner and someone to love me and have a life with.It seems to
be worse in the mornings as I wake up extremely early with anxiety
racing through my veins like electricity and my heart is racing and the
bad thoughts start. It overwhelms me and then I cry and the cycle lasts
all day. I’ve been told to try activities and hobbies to distract myself
and do things I enjoy, but everything I usually enjoy just makes me sad
and other new calming stuff like meditating only minimises the pain for
moments. It’s exhausting and I don’t know how much longer I can do it. I
guess I’m just looking for someone who’s come out of this. Someone who
felt all these things who found meaning and love and happiness and a
partner in life. Or maybe even learnt to overcome anxiety and depression
completely. Or someone whose medication changed them for a while but now
you’re back on track.