I hate my brain

[Coco18-8]

Everything I do I feel like I always find a problem and it’s exhausting. My brain is so exhausting I want to stop being this way. I feel like everyday I have a problem or something that I’m anxious or worried about and end up crying . I feel like I can never allow myself to be happy and it’s so frustrating because I want to be happy but so many things happen that knock me down and send me to spiral that I can’t get out of it. I feel like I’m always the problem because I’m the one with the problem all the time and it makes me want to lash out on others or just not even talk to them because I feel like a burden because I have to many anxieties or problems going on that they get sick of it.

[On The Road]

Hi Coco18-8, I'm sorry that you're feeling this way. 😔 There are so many overwhelming things happening in life that constantly knock us down, that our brains couldn't take it so they're constantly protesting. On numerous occasions, I felt so exhausted and I felt pity for my brain and my heart because they have to suffer all these things with me... 

I hear you that you want to be happy, and I believe you're not the problem, the problems follow you. Sometimes just more problems follow particular people disproportionately, unfortunately.

I guess you already know but if you want, please call a counselor on 1300 22 4636 or chat with them online. We're here listening, feel free to speak out, share more, or talk about something that helps your brain relax.

[therising]

Hi Coco18-8

I think what can feel so incredibly challenging at times involves having the ability to compute or process the existence of certain problems while not being able to switch this ability off. Another issue can involve no one being able to see or feel the problems that exist. We're left feeling them alone. Another can involve dismissiveness from others instead of help, guidance and the best course of action. Another can involve being a natural problem solver but with only half the ability in play. To be a natural problem solver you naturally have to be able to see the problem before you solve it. Personally, one of the biggest issues I face sees me (at times) stuck somewhere on the scale between pure analysis and pure feeling. If you can imagine at one end there's the pure analyst in you and at the other there's the pure feeler. Pure analysis involves no feelings whatsoever. You become like a super computer - analyse the problem/challenge, compute the best course of action based on all the facts and, bamm, problem solved. A major issue can be solved in minutes or even seconds while in this mode. On the other hand, you can analyse the problem, see how it's there and then go straight to the other end of the spectrum while getting stuck in purely feeling the challenge while not having the ability to see your way out of it.

I've found 'Storyteller' mode to be a major challenge too. I inherited this trait from my mum. To give you an example, you could give me a basic job to do and before we know it I've developed a whole story around what could go wrong. The ultimate challenge here comes down to managing my imagination while not letting it run wild. The imagination's a powerful thing, a serious trigger for stressful internal dialogue and the nervous system.

People can be so quick to judge our way of thinking, seeing and feeling, without leading us to think, see or feel differently. I've found sometimes a lack of understanding and good leadership/guidance can become the biggest problem of all. Sometimes, I have to solve my problems/challenges in order to gain greater understanding/clarity, otherwise I can find myself stuck in a depression, something I just can't tolerate. It's a bit of a catch 22, I become an obsessive compulsive problem solver in order to manage my mental health. 

[David35]

It sound like you're overwhelmed by something. It may help to speak to a pscyhologist to help draw the problems out of you so that you can

a) identify what they are

b) prioritise them (important, not so important, trivial)

c) work out how to address them

Often having a trusted friend / relative can help with this. But sometimes when those people abandon you, as I have experienced, the problems fester in your own mind. If you find yourself "snapping" at the smallest things, as I have experienced and still do sometimes, then it is well worthwhile seeking professional help.

I like to think of problems as a splinter in the mind. We can put a band-aid on it, maybe some ointment. But all this is temporary. You will still have an infection from the splinter. Until you actually remove the splinter from your finger, the irritation is not going away. A trained psychologist will help you remove these "splinters".

Hope this helps