Hi all. back again, and not going so well. I hope it is temporary
because i really hate the stupid feeling of depression. first week back
at work this week, and it has been really tough. I have projects coming
out my ears, 1 new staff which i wasn't ...
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Hi all. back again, and not going so well. I hope it is temporary
because i really hate the stupid feeling of depression. first week back
at work this week, and it has been really tough. I have projects coming
out my ears, 1 new staff which i wasn't ready for and have no direction
for, and doubting my abilities.I look at all of the things i need to do
at work and get overwhelmed. i try to focus on 1 thing and still get
overwhelmed. Ive spoken to lifeline a couple of times this week to help
me through the panicy times. Ive tried to do my meditations, breathing
and grounding techniques, but to little effect, i guess because my mind
is still consumed with worry and thoughts and fear. My OCD is telling me
i need to get everything done perfectly, my anxiety is telling me all of
these what if's, and my depression is telling me whats the point. so,
for the last 4 nights, im getting to sleep at night easy, but wake at
4am, and cant get back to sleep. Then i’m tired for the whole day. by
lunch time i feel better, more awake, but still not my chipper self.I
went from having 5 weeks of holidays having an amazing time getting
things done at home and feeling really good, to then walk in to work and
fall to pieces. i spoke to my boss about some things, and they suggested
to not let it get to me, just do what i can do, and escalate if things
are not working out, but that didnt give me a while lot of comfort. I
soldiered on this afternoon though, and after putting myself through a
lot of anguish, i managed to get one of the important things on the job
list almost complete.i’m holding on to the hope that it will get better,
because I know i have been here before, and i know i have clawed my way
out. Wish me luck. Not Batman