Hi KeepCool99
While it can definitely be helpful in some ways to have a diagnosis, 100% agree with Grandy, 'You are not your diagnosis, and it doesn’t define the beautiful person you are'. As you make your way along your path in life (including a section of it that's possibly feeling pretty dark at the moment), I feel so deeply for you while you work so hard to navigate.
Personally, I've found guides are an absolute must in life. While they may not be necessary all the time, in the darkest parts and most confusing or disorienting parts they're a must. Wondering if you have anyone in your life at the moment in the way of guidance. With the diagnosis, I imagine that's one guide who's leading you to better understand why your suffering. Is there anyone else who could be a potential guide in some way?
Developing a circle of guides or 'go to' people can make a huge difference. While I've managed the ins and outs of depression since my late teens (I'm now a 53yo gal), I could never have managed to get to this point without a variety of 'go to' people. From friends or family members who can relate to depression to medical professionals to brilliant authors who have a way of opening the mind (so as to form different perspectives) to fellow philosophers who also ask the tough questions such as 'Why am I here?'. From a couple of key YouTubers who've acted as great guides in my life at certain times to those on the forum here to those who come from a more soulful perspective, such as with the concept of 'The dark night of the soul', to those who speak purely of the chemical or energetic impact within depression or the psychological impact of inner dialogue the list goes on and on. If there's one thing I've learned over the years it's 'Don't put all your eggs in one basket'. In other words don't rely on one resource when it comes to a form of guidance within dark times or when it comes to gaining a greater level of self understanding and skill development. One basket is simply one perception or one angle in the way of better understanding depression and the impact it can have on us. When it comes to going down rabbit holes, you could say 'Greater self understanding' is simply the name of the rabbit hole, with the first question being 'Now, which way do I go from here?' or 'What to explore, when it comes to better understanding exactly why I'm experiencing life in the way that I am?'.
