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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the chats on this Forum having been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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jakob Little hope left
  • replies: 5

i um , dont know where to start, its been some months now since i have seen my kids. my wife and my home. i'm very sad , my parents are both terminally ill and have buried 3 of their pets in 2 months. i am surrounded by death. my mother is alcoholic ... View more

i um , dont know where to start, its been some months now since i have seen my kids. my wife and my home. i'm very sad , my parents are both terminally ill and have buried 3 of their pets in 2 months. i am surrounded by death. my mother is alcoholic and very abusive when she drinks and assaults my father physically , emotionally , and verbally . i protect dad and lock myself in room too. i have nowhere to go. my mother confuses me as being my father and blames me for 30 years of a failed marriage with him. i will never be able to have another partner as I have an STD and will never be able to be with my ex again. I am 38 , no family , no home and no future. i'm so very sad.

Albert11 Understanding myself, understanding Bipolar.
  • replies: 2

They say that the definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result. What if on appearance it looks like the mentally ill person is doing the same thing for the same result but what is actually happe... View more

They say that the definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result. What if on appearance it looks like the mentally ill person is doing the same thing for the same result but what is actually happening is that the person is trying something different and that difference is so infinitesimally small to the naked eye, it is invisible. Invisible to everyone, except the person with the illness. The human mind is the most amazing and complex thing in the world. The whole world was essentially created from our minds and nature. We often venture down paths with our mind that take us anywhere and everywhere. Sometimes these paths are terrifying and unpredictable but never the less, we venture down them anyway. Sometimes we discover things that are 'too much' so we back out or take another direction. For people with a mental illness, these paths can lead to danger for themselves and/or others and can be tragic for the person and their loved ones. This is certainly not an invitation for anyone to risk their lives or the lives of others. My priority, our priority has to be safety. We need to constantly evaluate what is happening and constantly work out if we have delved into a risky situation where that risk is too high. Under valuing our lives is a error that all of us make at some point in our lives. We can also not take calculated risks which can hamper our evolution as human beings. There has to be a balance. My journey with Bipolar Effective Disorder has been fascinating and also caused considerable pain for myself and those I love. Unfortunately, I think this pain was a learning experience and most of it was unavoidable. Each time I have experienced an elevated mood or mania it has been the same but different. It is a paradoxical experience. It is like riding a bike, but an unpredictable bike that changes shape and form and at times the bike has been riding me. It is by its nature uncontrollable, In fact, the key to Bipolar and maybe even life, is knowing when to control yourself and when to let things be. To co exist with what you know and what you don't know, but accepting what you don't know. Patience is also vital.

Dean1 Terrible Rut
  • replies: 17

Hi Its been a while since I put my first post on this fantastic page but I seem to hit a low again, my test score was 34 I believe how tired I am I can hardly keep my eyes open. I am in a terrible rut and I cant seem to get out of it and its really g... View more

Hi Its been a while since I put my first post on this fantastic page but I seem to hit a low again, my test score was 34 I believe how tired I am I can hardly keep my eyes open. I am in a terrible rut and I cant seem to get out of it and its really getting me down, 2017 was without doubt the worst year of my life and I was glad to see the back of it. I have been waiting for a basic procedure to be done its a umbilical hernia, I was retrenched so I could no longer afford private health insurance. I have been waiting 7 months, and I was told that it will probably be done in June. My marriage also failed last year as well, and that is really starting to hit home as well. I always hear that you should talk to people don't bottle things up and I was doing that for a while but now I have become very reclusive. I found that every time I spoke about how I was feeling I was tearing open a old wound I hate the way I feel at the moment, if they told me I would die tomorrow I wouldn't bother me. I know my problem isn't as bad as a lot of other peoples but I am in such a unfamiliar place mentally at the moment I'm not sure what step I should take next. Why am I so tired.

Steph92 I need help
  • replies: 3

Hi all I am new to this and I have finally found the courage to accept what I am experiencing and reach out. I am 26 years old, I am a female and I am a lawyer. I have always had tendencies to get depressed and experience anxiety. However, it is not ... View more

Hi all I am new to this and I have finally found the courage to accept what I am experiencing and reach out. I am 26 years old, I am a female and I am a lawyer. I have always had tendencies to get depressed and experience anxiety. However, it is not until recently that I noticed myself getting worse than ever before. I feel empty inside and I have lost all hope and enthusiasm for life. I am scared of my own thoughts, and they just keep getting louder. I walk around all day with a fake smile on my face but deep down inside I am broken and holding back the tears. Today alone I found myself wiping tears from my face on several occasions for absolutely no reason. I woke up in the middle of the night with severe anxiety and found myself throwing up in the morning. The struggle to get out of bed is getting worse and there has been occasions where I have laid in bed for days straight without any food. I am here today to ask if anyone can recommend a professional I can see to help me with whatever it is I am experiencing. Also, if anyone has experienced this and can share their recovery with me, I would be forever grateful. Thank you

debrox1618 New person...
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone, I’ve just joined and wanted to introduce myself. I’m looking forward to finding people to talk about mental illness with. I’m 41 and in the last few years I’ve been diagnosed with (in order) alcoholism, bipolar, chronic fatigue, and adhd... View more

Hi everyone, I’ve just joined and wanted to introduce myself. I’m looking forward to finding people to talk about mental illness with. I’m 41 and in the last few years I’ve been diagnosed with (in order) alcoholism, bipolar, chronic fatigue, and adhd disorders. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety at 20, but now looking back I can see I was showing symptoms from about 13/14. I feel crazy all the time, I can hardly work and I’ve practically cut off all social ties. My job means nothing to me and I really can’t handle full time work, but my husband hadn’t worked for years so there was nothing I could do to help myself. I felt so stuck. Anyway life goes up and down, and sometimes I’m stable and sometimes I’m not. I stopped drinking about 3 years ago and I’ve got a good psychiatrist. But for a while now I’ve had something inside me I want to say out loud to anyone who’ll listen, “Hey I’m really sick! And all the medication I take makes me sick too! And I’m not the person I used to be, and I don’t even know who I am now. And I need a break! I need a chance to get better, But how can I find that with two kids and a full time job?” I really don’t have anyone to talk to about this. My husband is supportive but he really doesn’t understand what I’m talking about when I describe any type of episode. My parents wouldn’t mention bipolar for years, but Mum has now stretched her vocab to describe it as “a head thing”. My friends are amazing beautiful people and they’ve known me long enough to see all the best and worst. They’ve never judged me and never will. But on every single get together I bail at the last minute. I know it’s stupid but I keep doing it. I think what I really want, is to find people who understand me when I talk about having a mental illness that consumes me.

Minta Caged in my mind
  • replies: 4

I've never really sought help in a forum but as My psychologist is fully booked for 2 weeks and I am having 'odd' feelings (lack of a better word to use there I am feeling caged, in my mind, I want to do all these things but due to circumstances for ... View more

I've never really sought help in a forum but as My psychologist is fully booked for 2 weeks and I am having 'odd' feelings (lack of a better word to use there I am feeling caged, in my mind, I want to do all these things but due to circumstances for each one I cant so my mind is just screaming at me. My imagination has got it picture as a woman (as I am female) in a cage trying so much to get out, like really fast..... I don't know how to describe it The things include study, but due to finances at the moment I can't continue for 3 months (i think this is the main one causing it), Art, but I don't have any canvases, going out, but my anxiety is interfering and if I am being honest I do want to stay at home as Its been a busy Xmas/end of year. Does anyone else feel this way? How do you cope? What are some ways to subdue this feeling?

Ellie05 Sad and don't know what to do
  • replies: 43

Hello, I'm not sure what I'm doing here again. I guess I thought that typing out my thoughts would stop them swirling around in my head, snowballing and becoming more dangerous. You see my dog had to be put down yesterday morning. I'd spent the whole... View more

Hello, I'm not sure what I'm doing here again. I guess I thought that typing out my thoughts would stop them swirling around in my head, snowballing and becoming more dangerous. You see my dog had to be put down yesterday morning. I'd spent the whole night prior awake with him, watching him be confused, disorientated and struggle to breathe. It's a horrible memory that will always haunt me. I suffer depression but I mostly manage to ignore my problems through use of antidepressants, watching TV and entertaining myself in my head by daydreaming about a better life and pretending I'm living it. I am single and have always been due to the acute distress that anxiety brings on whenever someone was to tell me their interested in a romantic sense. At my age (31) a lot of people are coupled up so it makes me feel very lonely and sometimes I am terrified of spending my life alone, with no one to hold me when things go wrong. I feel ugly, growing up the world tends to send the message to young girls that their appearance is the most aspect of them (fairy tales, TV shows, movies and magazines) and being a sensitive person I grew to believe this too strongly. I'm not working. I get acute anxiety and when that's at play I be extremely lethargic and depressed. I quit my job over a year ago, went overseas for a holiday and then stayed with my parents when I got back. Ever since I just haven't been able to bring myself to apply for another. My brain is broken. Over the past couple of years I've been experiencing bouts of what I term 'acute distress'. It can be triggered by things I never thought would affect me all that much and it's really intense. Whilst in this phase I can't eat or sleep or even sit still. During the day I can find things to distract myself with (mostly) but nights are spent pacing around the house, whilst feeling progressively worse and worse. These bouts can be really unpredictable and I live in fear of it happening again, especially given I just lost my dog. I can't cope with the fact that we all get old and die. The thought of losing loved ones just make sick and I worry about it a lot even though they aren't sick. Despite the above I have a lot of positive things in my life. Loving family, good friends and I still have savings from years of working so am not about to face financial destitution. I just can't seem to be able to appreciate the positives in my life and just get sucked into that black void of depression.

Butterbumps Hollow shell
  • replies: 5

Hey readers, sorry for bothering you with this nonsense but I feel as though I won't be able to get a good night's rest unless I type or write my thoughts out. For a year or so now, I've felt completely uninspired and unmotivated to do things. I used... View more

Hey readers, sorry for bothering you with this nonsense but I feel as though I won't be able to get a good night's rest unless I type or write my thoughts out. For a year or so now, I've felt completely uninspired and unmotivated to do things. I used to be very driven and ambitious (performing well in uni, making an effort with hobbies), almost to compensate for my social life which has always been very lacking (I was bullied badly in school and have been withdrawn ever since, I'm in my late 20's now). My confidence is really lacking and I'm too fearful of opening up to people, mainly because I feel I'll eventually be dumped as a friend for being boring (I lack a lot of general knowledge as I've felt a lot of information pointless), lacking talent (didn't pick up anything as a kid and never stuck with any hobby for long enough) or weird (although some key people in my life support my sexuality, I still don't feel comfortable at all about letting strangers know that I'm gay). I feel like I don't deserve to be confident as I don't look the part, am too awkward and weak of wit. I've been trying to build myself up instead of just moping. A sports club has provided me with some good friendships and an exercise routine however eventually the awkward social interactions between club members has driven me away. I volunteer too which has given me some purpose and perspective, although there is still the social anxiety come every shift. I've been reading books everyday to get some ideas and inspiration, even though this hasn't been terribly fruitful (some novels do excite me though). My current job is quite decent but I've started to mentally check out from it and am now laying the foundations for another career which I'm not even sure I'll be able to mentally pull through with. I'm in a loving relationship already but I'm always wondering if I'm just letting my partner down by being such a weak person. I feel as though my social skills probably factor greatly in my problem, especially as I'm getting older and start to fear missing out on experiences. My lack of interest might not actually be a lack of interest but rather dismissing any activity which might possibly put me awkward social situations or that rely on the company of others to enjoy. Sorry if I contradicted myself (or if none of it made sense) but can anyone who can understand share some insight? Would love to hear if you managed to get your life on track. Thanks.

svitteh How can I not be excited for a big holiday?
  • replies: 4

I havent been anywhere to be diagnosed or anything so I'm sorry if when I say that I was "depressed" I've gotten it wrong. I know many people have actual diagnosed depression and I don't want to make that seem less important. About 2 years ago I was ... View more

I havent been anywhere to be diagnosed or anything so I'm sorry if when I say that I was "depressed" I've gotten it wrong. I know many people have actual diagnosed depression and I don't want to make that seem less important. About 2 years ago I was depressed and not thinking straight. I'm not sure what exactly got me out of it but I think a combination of exercising and finding new hobbies helped. I'm now going downhill again. Right now I have a huge assigment thing that has no deadline. That seemed like a good thing but it really isn't. When I was in school I lived off deadlines and they really helped me get things done. I've ended up setting my own deadline, finish it before my birthday (start of April) and it's failing miserably. Things I used to love doing now seem awful. I used to love cycling. Now I don't want to go anywhere and it's crazy. I'd cycle 3 hours or more to get to somewhere if I really wanted to and now I don't want to go the 10 min to the library or shops so nevermind the 40 min to get to my closest friends (closest as in distance, but I guess theyre pretty close to me too). I've tried pushing myself to do these things but it's like I don't want to enjoy them even though I do. Deadlines and threats don't seem to bother me anymore and I don't seem to care. I've taken a job that I don't need because I'm basically a kid and I think I just got overambitious. I'm proud that I've kept it for this long but now all it does is drain my energy that I need to be putting into my schooling. And to make this post even longer I've got my whole trip problem (my main issue i guess? Just the most confusing for me). Last year when I'd gotten out of things and was happy I planned a trip to England (I'm in Australia). I saved up and in January bought the tickets, thinking I'd get over this if I kept doing the things that make me happy. Well I leave in June and I'm terrified. I have no reason to be, everything's sorted and I'm staying with family, everything's payed for and I should be happy but I don't know if I'm making a really dumb mistake. Basically I'll try anything at the moment, my parents are out of work with all the shutdowns here and everything's falling apart. I have no clue what to do anymore.

Turtle_eyes Looking backwards through binoculars.
  • replies: 4

I feel like my Life is like looking through Binoculars backwards. I was once a hopeful, happy and positive person. After a workplace accident in 2004 that triggered a deppressive episode I have been dealing with the condition ever since. I am not ful... View more

I feel like my Life is like looking through Binoculars backwards. I was once a hopeful, happy and positive person. After a workplace accident in 2004 that triggered a deppressive episode I have been dealing with the condition ever since. I am not fulfilled by anything it seems anymore. I dread going to work as the owners of the business have lost faith in my ability to perform and it has eroded my confidence badly. My colleague is not happy there either. He said to me the other day that he had lost weight, I said that he looked good, but his response to me was 'I probably have the big C' (being Cancer). That made me feel like walking out then and there. I only work there part-time, but I am not sure I can even do that. This has been my third attempt at finding a suitable job in 12 months. I no longer even like the Industry, but what do I do when I feel I have nothing to offer an employer? I don't want to suffer anymore, it makes me so tired all the time and I feel like I am looking at an ever shrinking life ahead, like the binocular scenario. I feel that a move to a smaller town near the sea and away from the City might be a good move for me, away from the hustle and noise, but my partner is commited to her job and a move at this time is out of the question for her, and as I am unsure I could live without her, I remain stuck......looking through those binoculars.