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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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G12345 I think I have depression I’m scared
  • replies: 14

I’m freaking out because I’m been feeling low for 13 days almost 14 I think I might have or be developing depression I’m afraid that all my motivation I have now is going to go I need to feel happy again can anyone tell what depression is i don’t und... View more

I’m freaking out because I’m been feeling low for 13 days almost 14 I think I might have or be developing depression I’m afraid that all my motivation I have now is going to go I need to feel happy again can anyone tell what depression is i don’t understand it.

Sulaco_86 can’t explain to friends
  • replies: 5

hello... my first post - I’m looking for some help or advice... I can’t talk to my friends about my anxiety/depression because I feel that they can’t understand what I’m even talking about or going through, because on the outside I try to maintain ap... View more

hello... my first post - I’m looking for some help or advice... I can’t talk to my friends about my anxiety/depression because I feel that they can’t understand what I’m even talking about or going through, because on the outside I try to maintain appearing normal and “happy” so that they don’t ask me if something is wrong. but I’m not normal and happy at all - and whenever I “put myself down” in front of them they’ll shrug it off and tell me I’m being silly etc - because to them I always seem happy so they maybe think I’m joking? how do I tell my friends that they don’t know me at all? how do I tell them the old cliche “it’s not you it’s me”?

Striker-9 The battle is real
  • replies: 3

Hi. It took me about 15 minutes just to figure out what to write and where to start. To anybody looking from the outside into my life they would say it’s a great life. I have a beautiful healthy baby boy and an amazing wife. But the last 12 months ha... View more

Hi. It took me about 15 minutes just to figure out what to write and where to start. To anybody looking from the outside into my life they would say it’s a great life. I have a beautiful healthy baby boy and an amazing wife. But the last 12 months have been an exhaustive and character changing mental battle. I have found myself slip deeper into negativity and just tired of the daily routine. Things that I used to love to do just don’t bring me that satisfaction anymore. I carry a weight of sadness and frustration constantly. I love my wife and son with all my heart but I am constantly carrying a guilt that because of the way I feel and how it affects me that I’m not being the husband or father I should be. I do have a highly stressful and demanding job but at this point in my life it’s what I need to do to get me and my family ahead in life financially. I moved interstate a few years ago and left my life behind (friends, family) and as much as that move was what I needed at that time in my life and I was able to get married and start a family in my new home, I have struggled to make it my home. I grew up in a broken family, parents separated when I was an early teen and i never realised until now just how much of an affect those years had on my life. When I reflect on things I actually can never pin point a time my father said he was proud of me or loved me. In fact growing up I was always compared to family friends kids and highlighted that I was not where they were at in my life. I specifically remember a time when at age 13 my dad stopped coming to my soccer games because he would say that I wasn’t good enough. So self worth and confidence has always been a struggle for me. In my early adult life it wasn’t a problem because I would mask it with drugs, alcohol a fake macho persona and “having a good time”. But now that I am a father and a husband I am really starting to feel those wounds. I’m tired of this daily struggle and daily mental battle.

Jolene2012 Need assistance to generate a plan of action to mitigate my depression
  • replies: 3

Thanks for clicking and taking the time to read my story. I have been struggling with depression (on and off) for 12 years. I am 23 now and am sick of it! It started in school whilst my parents were fighting everyday and using me as an emotional punc... View more

Thanks for clicking and taking the time to read my story. I have been struggling with depression (on and off) for 12 years. I am 23 now and am sick of it! It started in school whilst my parents were fighting everyday and using me as an emotional punching bag. Despite this I did well in school and believed in myself. Then in highschool a "friend" bullied me for 3 years. It was intense, physical assult, daily emotional taunting, it left me dreading school. At this point my parents were separated and I was living with my sister and Dad, whilst not getting along with my Mum. My general attitude was, I'm strong enough to deal with this on my own. This was the general advice from my Dad. This resulted in me never reaching out to my best friend, school councillor, teachers, etc. This attitude followed me to when I was raped by a "loving" boyfriend. Again, I did not tell my best friend, parents, sister, etc. (5 years ago) Now I am in the position of having no friends, I am struggling to complete my university course (I love what I am studying, however this same attitude prevents me from reaching out for help when I need it). I turned this around this summer after a great work experience program where I got tonnes of support. Untin Coronavirus.... Coronavirus forced me to move back home for the past 3 months and I've never made such a big mistake! It was such a toxic environment, that I couldn't complete my studies online and I'm not certain if I'll be allowed to continue with my work experience program. I feel so lost and frustrated. I don't have anyone I can turn to for support and I need to plan how to procede. I will go back to the city and prepare for my studies next semester. My main concern is how I am dreading going back, as I have no support/friends there. I have taken steps to talk to potential friends in my city and it looks promising. However I still have the issue of my depression. It has effected every aspect of my life!!! Plan of action so far.... I need a support group in Perth with people who understand me! I need to speak to the councillors at uni and explain how it's effected my studies. I need a psychologist to acknowledge and address my past experiences so I can stop thinking about them as issues (the bullying, the rape, the fear I have of opening up to people). My goal from therapy is to build a support network for myself in Perth! Please someone provide some guidance! I would very much appreciate it!

sugarglider new poster - feeling depressed - again - help get my head straight
  • replies: 8

Hi - I have spent the day feeling very sad and crying and eating ice cream to feel better. My housemate is moving out after 3+ years here - on great terms - just time for her get on with her life somewhere else. I will miss her and her arrival and pr... View more

Hi - I have spent the day feeling very sad and crying and eating ice cream to feel better. My housemate is moving out after 3+ years here - on great terms - just time for her get on with her life somewhere else. I will miss her and her arrival and presence has been very important for me. She moved in 3 months after my husband of 20 years surprisingly abandoned me (no warning, just "i'm off" and literally walked off not to be seen / heard from again/ refusing to talk). I was in the grieving cycle and she moved in. A lovely role model of working hard, fit and healthy, nicely groomed and dressed etc. Shared life stories, shared meals, shared our lives for 3 years. I described her as Mary Poppins. It is totally normal to feel sad about such a situation. Although it triggers all the life / family issues. I have had several bouts of clinical depression in my life, grew up with a mother with schizophrenia, my father has admitted that they didn't have the resources to look after me and they thought I was smart, so they left me to my own devices without any guidance. abusive, jealous older sister with whom I now do not have a relationship. She was the one who constantly criticised everything / degraded / minimised everything - told me I was wrong. Still does now. I have read ALL of the books. years of therapy. been on anti-depressants. I know about neurology, exercise, diet, meditation, psychology. and here I am again. 54. alone. the pandemic put my job at threat and cut my pay by 50%. after my divorce cost $ and left me with a mortgage. Can't afford retirement. I feel tired, tense, nothing is good enough, no matter what I try - no nice endings so why start, .... all those things so I came here - to try and help myself. I intellectually know that I am not being abandoned again. I'm not even sure what I am asking here? How do I help my neurology to stop freaking out with the old childhood beliefs and act like the world is coming to an end again? I so tired of living 50 years in this space.

Cavan Alone, lost and endless emptiness
  • replies: 2

Hello i haven’t posted before and don’t know if this is the right online forum to share these thoughts and feelings... so apologies in advance if I should be on another one! i was married for 11 years to a wonderful man and have two beautiful childre... View more

Hello i haven’t posted before and don’t know if this is the right online forum to share these thoughts and feelings... so apologies in advance if I should be on another one! i was married for 11 years to a wonderful man and have two beautiful children. We recently separated. It was my decision in the end but in reality I feel he stopped loving me long before that. I developed post natal depression after the birth of my first child. And depression has been my constant companion ever since. I take medication. Which sometimes works ie I don’t feel rock bottom and other times I wonder if I’m on a plesibo. I have lived alone now for 9 months and have shared cared of our children. I work in a highly stressful job which consumes at least 50 hours of actual work and same again in stress and mental gymnastics. I have complicated work relationships with my work colleagues - due mostly I think if I’m being honest to my constant mood swings. I take my loneliness, disappointment and anger out on them. Which I get angry with myself for. Had one such week last week and Friday was the worst where I left the office in tears. then a full melt down about all the things in my life that were wrong or missing. I don’t have many friends. Over the years they have all withdrawn and pulled away. Most recently two of the friendships I valued the most cut me off. When I don’t have the kids I can go from Friday to Monday not talking to another person. Locked in my head. And while my work is so intense that I crave rest and downtime when I get it it just feels like an endless gaping hole. I started seeing someone that I fell hard for during the breakup of my marriage. His marriage broke up too. Long story but it’s been complicated. We broke up 6 months after it started cause he just didn’t want a relationship (or one with me I don’t know...). Since then because we’ve been friends we’ve drifted into this friends and sex thing. It sounds superficial maybe but it’s not. There are real feelings. He says he “doesn’t want to raise my expectations” whenever I bring up a possible future. I see him once a fortnight and it’s all he wants. I tried online dating. But it ended in a situation I don’t really want to say but it left me feeling shame and self loathing. im so incredibly lonely and so empty. I don’t know how to get out of this hole. I’m going back to my doctor cause maybe i need medication reviewed. I don’t have a question. Wanted to know people are out there. And I’m not alone

daniels87 Not sure what to say
  • replies: 8

Hi Guys i’m not to sure what I’m looking for here maybe just to get some validation that what I’m feeling is normal over the past year I have been feeling very down and had thoughts that there is no point living anymore. Everything started to slowly ... View more

Hi Guys i’m not to sure what I’m looking for here maybe just to get some validation that what I’m feeling is normal over the past year I have been feeling very down and had thoughts that there is no point living anymore. Everything started to slowly return to normal until o had a car accident, not my fault someone came out right infront of me. Long story short my car was written off. Ever since I have suffered strange feelings like nightmares, inability to sleep, eat & feeling restless and getting angry easily people have told me I’m suffering from PTSD but I’ve never had that before so I’m not sure if that’s what I’m feeling. The horrible thoughts are returning and I’m feeling very low again Hoping some people can maybe point me in the right direction as to how to try and get through this thanks

anonymous24 I feel so alone
  • replies: 2

I’ve never posted anywhere like this at all, but it’s gotten to the point where I genuinely feel I have no one else to talk to. I’ve always been too embarrassed to open up to anyone about my mental health and I struggled to even admit it to myself, I... View more

I’ve never posted anywhere like this at all, but it’s gotten to the point where I genuinely feel I have no one else to talk to. I’ve always been too embarrassed to open up to anyone about my mental health and I struggled to even admit it to myself, I guess because I’m scared people will see me differently. Idk what I’m expecting from this, or if anyone will see this or reply, but I’m just going to write out what I’m struggling with because I don’t know what else to do. I think my ‘depression’ (I’m not diagnosed or anything but idk what else to call it) started after my parents split up. My Dad was emotionally abusive and borderline physical. About a year after the messy, contested, and honestly traumatic divorce, dad repartnered and moved in with his new gf after knowing her for about 2 months and without even introducing her to me, or my little brother or sister. Ive tried to maintain my relationship with my dad even tho I’m the only one who makes the effort and despite having to live with her as a consequence, making that so emotionally straining for me. She yelled at me once when she overheard a conversation between my dad and I about how I was uncomfortable having to live with her, and dad didn’t stand up for me, and I haven’t gone back to their house since. He hasn’t tried to get in contact with me since then. It feels like he’s choosing his new girlfriend over me, his daughter. That moment broke my heart, and he doesn’t seem to care. I also have literally one close friend. One of my best friends of over 10 years has chosen to cut me off, and my best friend of the past 3 years has decided it would ‘be best if we didn’t see each other one on one.’ These 2 girls have formed a group with a few other girls from my year level that really don’t like me, and it feels like I’m being cut off from my best friends and excluded from a friendship group at the same time. As a result I’m basically completely alone and have no friends. I have basically no one, but the one best friend I do have also happens to be my ex, who I’ve recently fallen back in love with. I’m so dependant on him for my happiness and it’s so messed up bc no one deserves that. I’m trying to get over him bc he’s made it clear he’s fully over me but how am I supposed to get over someone when they’re the only person I’m spending my time with? Idk there’s so much more but there’s a character limit and I think I’ve already passed it. Please help me I don’t know what the point is anymore.

Shamie Alone
  • replies: 9

I would like first to say hello to everyone, hope you are all safe. I am alone. I have no family, nor any friends. Anxiety and depression are severe and make it difficult to relate to anyone. Whilst relief teaching I was able to cope with being alone... View more

I would like first to say hello to everyone, hope you are all safe. I am alone. I have no family, nor any friends. Anxiety and depression are severe and make it difficult to relate to anyone. Whilst relief teaching I was able to cope with being alone as the interaction was enough. I am not able to do that anymore with the present crisis so I am constantly at home. My living situation is unpleasant and adds to the isolation. I have tried many things over the years, from psychiatrists, psychologists, men's groups, therapy groups and more. All have been failures for me. I do not relate well to others as I feel judged always. I know this is not always the case, however, it is real all to often. I am safer alone, but not from myself. I do wish that I could relate to someone. I have come close to deleting this post. Just lonely.

Georgia04 Struggling
  • replies: 3

Hi I am a new member looking for support because I am really struggling at the moment. I feel heavy all the time and I'm getting really tired of being tired. I can't find anything to make me happy and it always feels like I'm watching myself through ... View more

Hi I am a new member looking for support because I am really struggling at the moment. I feel heavy all the time and I'm getting really tired of being tired. I can't find anything to make me happy and it always feels like I'm watching myself through a movie screen. How are you coping with your depressive moods because I'm running out of ideas. Every single day is a complete battle with myself to be happy and fun around my peers and friends but I am getting so tired. I'm young and I just want to start living my life. I feel like I'm walking up a hill and every time I think I'm at the top, there's more to climb. Please share your experiences. Thanks for reading, Ruby

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