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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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mooncrab_ Internal Struggle - Anxiety, Depression & BPD
  • replies: 6

Hello, It's been a while since my last post because I thought everything was going well with me. But apparently not. So I'm here to vent again. The last 12months have been worse than ever and I'm deteriorating from the inside. Last year I was told by... View more

Hello, It's been a while since my last post because I thought everything was going well with me. But apparently not. So I'm here to vent again. The last 12months have been worse than ever and I'm deteriorating from the inside. Last year I was told by my psychologist that she couldn't quite work me out and that she suspects I have BPD. I admit it made me feel so uncomfortable. More so than having to be there for my anxiety & depression. It overwhelmed me to the point that I left and never made another appointment with that psychologist again. I know I should have at least found another psychologist to confirm the diagnosis, but I stubbornly told myself that I will be ok and to just keep on going. Pretty sure I was in denial. At the beginning of the year I enrolled myself into a course for Accounting & Bookkeeping blindly believing that I would be fine if I just engage myself in something to keep me occupied. I struggled halfway when lockdown was announced and we had to move to remote learning. I started losing focus and interest. I found myself staring into space and sometimes that lead to stupor. I just felt stuck.I managed to finish the course with an increase in my meds, but really doubtful of getting a job in that field. Plus I didn't really have much interest for it. But I was being constantly encouraged to do something. It has been 3wks since the end of my course and I just have no motivation. No positivity. I only get about 3-4hrs broken sleep so I'm constantly tired. I break out in tears for no particular reason except that I feel really down. I've been losing my sense of time. I constantly question who I am while my partner just sees it as an excuse to do nothing and thinks I'm just being childish. Lately, I've felt more comfortable in my dreams like it's the opposite effect. As if the world I wake up to is the dream. And the dream is the real world. I know I had to do something about it before I wither away into nothingness. So I took the step to get a new referral to another psychologist and a referral to see a psychiatrist. There's a part of me that's scared as hell because genetically, it makes sense. My mother & brother have bipolar and depression. So why wouldn't I? But another part of me is eager to know just how crazy I am. While another part, the small & insignificant part, just wants to crawl under a rock and never hear of it again. I want to be a better person, I really do. But it's like my feet are buried in cement.

Niks85 Fear of the unknown what's next?
  • replies: 2

Hi amazing people Just a few days ago I shared my story and I was feeling really positive about things. I was diagnosed with bipolar in 2014, but for the last few years I have coped really well. Today I'm having a bit of a bad day to be honest. Last ... View more

Hi amazing people Just a few days ago I shared my story and I was feeling really positive about things. I was diagnosed with bipolar in 2014, but for the last few years I have coped really well. Today I'm having a bit of a bad day to be honest. Last night my husband told me he might have to call his work company quits before it goes bang because of this virus. I had no idea things were so bad for his company. He has spent years working hard and his company was doing so well until recently. I'm a bit in shock and now for the first time in years I'm feeling anxious because he's the bread winner in our family and I feel so bad for him. We have a pretty high mortgage, a baby and lots of other expenses. I'm trying to stay optimistic but not having the best day. We've also cancelled our fertility treatment for November we were hoping to have another child but that just won't happen now. I'm feeling a bit devastated just in need of some encouragement.

Niks85 A hopeful story. Depression and anxiety
  • replies: 5

Hi there Just wanted to introduce myself and share a brief story about my journey with bipolar, depression and anxiety. At twelve years old I moved from South Africa to New Zealand. We were so poor at that time. It was then that I became a target for... View more

Hi there Just wanted to introduce myself and share a brief story about my journey with bipolar, depression and anxiety. At twelve years old I moved from South Africa to New Zealand. We were so poor at that time. It was then that I became a target for bullies. My parents were stressed and fighting alot at the time so I told nobody I was being bullied. Anxiety was something I started to experience when I was roughly seven years old because of my dyslexia. After being bullied for years and moving from one place to the next because of dads work I was hit hard with depression at the age of nineteen. Back then I didn't know I had depression. I started to drink to try and numb some of the pain. By the age of 23 I was definitely an alcoholic. When I was 24 I moved to Australia after being in an abusive relationship. I needed a fresh start. For five years after that I began to struggle with my mood, sleep and severe depression and anxiety. When I was twenty nine I just wasn't coping with life and I had a nervous breakdown and was taken to hospital. I was given the diagnosis bipolar disorder due to my mood swings. It was during the darkest time in my life I realised how strong I am. I was put on so many medications with loads of terrible side effects that one day I tried to end my life. I was hospitalized twice after that. Then I had CBT therapy and I did Art therapy. My psychiatrist finally found the right medication for me after so much trial and error. I quit drinking, started walking for exercise and eating healthier. My new partner proposed and I got married. Then came the news that my husband couldn't have children. But I was determined to be a mum and stick by my husband no matter what. Where there is a will there is a way. We ended up having a donor child which was very stressful at first but now the best thing that has ever happened to us. It has been one hell of a journey. I'm still learning every day. Today I have more good days than bad and I'm really enjoying life. I actually never thought I'd say that but here I am and doing well. I often think about if I had taken my life that day I wouldn't have what I have today. All I can say to anyone struggling is to keep going, stay strong, this will pass and tomorrow is a brand new day. It's not a easy journey. When I came out on the other side I was so grateful to experience happiness again after years of struggle and challenges. I'm not completely cured but I have learnt how to cope. Never give up

HeyHeyPeople Any tips on how to move on and be positive?
  • replies: 10

Hi, I'll try to keep it short but with enough info. I lost my job in March not because of covid but by being screwed over by a co-worker ( I think this is where I started to feel extremely depressed ) but I tried to not let it phase me, I was seeing ... View more

Hi, I'll try to keep it short but with enough info. I lost my job in March not because of covid but by being screwed over by a co-worker ( I think this is where I started to feel extremely depressed ) but I tried to not let it phase me, I was seeing someone at the time, she is wonderful, I put more time into her than she did for me and when she told me that we are probably better off being friends, it hurt. I knew it wouldn't work out between us, because I want children and to live a simple life while she doesn't want kids and wants to live large. I knew it wouldn't work but she was such a genuine, honest and caring person, she took me out of my comfort zone, improved my health and wellbeing and taught me a lot but I can't let go of the feeling that my life is going to be.. different in a bad way , maybe not having kids wouldn't be so bad if I got to stay with her. I visited her a few days ago and she wanted to let me know that she has been dating someone, it tore through me, it was only about 2 weeks after she wanted to be friends, she admitted that she didn't have the same feelings for me that I did for her. She told me about him, he sounded perfect, Dr, Tall, Bodybuilder, and I can't help but compare myself. Which I know doesn't help. I've had breakups before, but this felt different, I truly feel like I've lost the only thing that could make me feel good. It just feels like I lost everything I was happy for in my life in one go, I stopped going to Gym, walking, going out, enjoying life, it's all of a sudden a struggle to leave my computer chair, I don't even enjoy playing games anymore, started eating a lot of fast food, I've turned down multiple job offers, become lazy and complacent with a sad outlook on life, I cry sometimes for a reason and other times I cry for no apparent reason at all, I get massive anxiety out of the blue and it doesn't seem to go away, and my GP just put me on an antidepressant which makes me feel like I have a problem. I guess what I'm asking for is any idea on how to move on or make myself realize it's not the end of the world, I feel hopeless and I'm finding it quite pointless to keep trying at life.

Daredevil Hello
  • replies: 3

I’ve been wanting to speak to someone about how I’m feeling for a long time but I’m not able to. i feel like I have no friends. All of those people that I consider my friends have other people they are close to and end up leaving me out. I partly fee... View more

I’ve been wanting to speak to someone about how I’m feeling for a long time but I’m not able to. i feel like I have no friends. All of those people that I consider my friends have other people they are close to and end up leaving me out. I partly feel like I’m to blame, because I’m not much of a phone person and so I don’t actively participate in group chats/ social media. but seeing everyone have someone, has left me feeling alone and empty. I feel like nobody genuinely cares. I’m not very close with my family and can’t talk about this with them. And I feel like my boyfriend wouldn’t understand how im feeling, since he has not had any difficulty socialising with people. any replies will be useful, thanks

imbadwithnames A little bit of positivity
  • replies: 3

Hey guys! Over the past month or so I have been here a LOT and I have been really struggling mentally, physically and emotionally. I was either sleeping for 15 hours or 3 hours and everything was thrown off and I spiraled down into my another really ... View more

Hey guys! Over the past month or so I have been here a LOT and I have been really struggling mentally, physically and emotionally. I was either sleeping for 15 hours or 3 hours and everything was thrown off and I spiraled down into my another really suicidal point in my life about a week or so ago, which has happened a couple times in my life including an attempt when I was a teenager. I am still struggling now, but with the help of some really amazing online friends who are my cheerleaders and tell me every day how much they love me, including one who said, and I quote, "If you do anything I will summon you with a ritual just to beat up ghost you." which made me laugh for about 3 hours straight, I feel better about the support I have, even if it's not in person and it is only online. As some of you may know from my previous post, I am moving house and the rubbish in my room has been accumulating and accumulating, to the point where I could barely walk around in my room because there was so much rubbish and I didn't have the energy or the motivation to get rid of it because I was too busy using all of my energy just to eat dinner at night and not go hungry (eating disorders are greaaatttt...). Well today I woke up earlier than usual (like 11am or so (I am working on it)) and decided enough is enough. I took all of my clothes that I was donating (around 10 bags) along with around 6 bags of rubbish to the tip and got rid of it (Went up and down stairs in the house around 10 or so times carrying everything to my car). I can move more easily in my room now, and it feels good to have donated so many clothes during a pandemic when I know people will need them. I feel tired, energyless, but good. I feel good. I just wanted to share this to remind you that, no matter what is going on in your life, you are capable of anything. I believe in every one of you and believe that you can do anything you set your fantastic minds to. If you don't have the energy to do anything but eat, that's fine! I'm still proud of you for that! I love you guys and hope you can find some comfort and motivation in my story from today!

Katyb88 Maybe I am anxious?
  • replies: 2

Thank you for reading I will try and keep this short and sweet. I am heavily pregnant, a solo mum. This does not bother me, in fact I am looking very much forward to the challenge. I have 2 beautiful children already, life with them lately has been a... View more

Thank you for reading I will try and keep this short and sweet. I am heavily pregnant, a solo mum. This does not bother me, in fact I am looking very much forward to the challenge. I have 2 beautiful children already, life with them lately has been a struggle, but we always pull through with a smile and endless love. I have a lovely home and was able to recently do it up nicely. Something I have been dreaming about for years. I have a great car and all the material possessions one could ever want. I recently found joy in smoking meats on the weekend while my beautiful children play on the trampoline, we listen to music and have a great time. I have a very close friend who lives 2 doors down, who supports me endlessly. So why am I so down? Why am I anxious and having panic attacks when 2 years ago we were homeless and actually had something to be depressed about. 2 years ago I was an alcoholic, spending rent money on booze and cigarettes, I had no car or licence because I lost them drink driving. I look back now and feel sick at the person I was then.

felix mendelssohn Depression and Type 1 Diabetes?
  • replies: 14

Hi there anyone and everyone, I was just wondering whether else here either has, or has a close connection to somebody with, both type 1 diabetes and depression? From doing a little bit of research it seems that depression is much more common in type... View more

Hi there anyone and everyone, I was just wondering whether else here either has, or has a close connection to somebody with, both type 1 diabetes and depression? From doing a little bit of research it seems that depression is much more common in type 1 diabetics than it is for the general population, but I'm not sure why, particularly given type 1 diabetics are often in good health for many years pre and post-diagnosis. So the first question I guess is why does depression seem to disproportionately affect type 1 diabetics? People talk about the 'burden' of having to manage it 24/7, and how it can get in the way of socialising for children and teens, but surely there are much more restrictive conditions than diabetes in this regard? My hypothesis so far would be that the fluctuations in blood sugar must cause some cascading effect on body chemistry, ultimately resulting in depression? Particularly the incidence of hypoglycaemia is something that I would imagine to have a strong correlation with depression. The destructive loop of depression --> leading to poor diabetes control --> leading to general ill-health --> reinforcing depression is fairly intuitive to me, but it also makes me feel pretty hopeless. What hope do I really have of ever overcoming this? With regards to day-to-day management of diabetes, I myself find that when I go low I often feel my mood take a turn for the worse (often feelings of despair, wanting to cry etc.). When my blood sugar goes high (hyperglycaemia), I often become grumpy, irritable, disgusted by the world and much more liable to snap. The last few days I've been quite high for no good reason, and I've directed anger at myself for not having better control over the diabetes (this relates to the 24/7 management burden I mentioned before). I'll skip meals as punishment or forgo things that make me happy. And I deserve it, because my depression makes me believe that. Also, one more thing, I find that there is some stigma associated with life-style induced type 2 diabetes. Of course stigma is unhelpful in any scenario, but it's particularly infuriating that it then gets applied to type 1 diabetics through pure ignorance. It makes me hyperconscious of how people view me and I need to explain myself whenever I mention it. I would be really interested to hear from anyone else if they have any information, even just anecdoctal stuff, to share on these matters. Felix

Johnny2796 I got no idea whats next
  • replies: 5

So, im new to this, to talking about feelings even though i am a big advocate for my friends and family to talk about whats going on inside their heads, alot of them either deal or have dealt with depression and anxiety and im the kind of person that... View more

So, im new to this, to talking about feelings even though i am a big advocate for my friends and family to talk about whats going on inside their heads, alot of them either deal or have dealt with depression and anxiety and im the kind of person that will bend over backwards to help in any way i can even if i get burnt in the end. However, i dont open up much at all, im super close with my mum and sister, super close with my Nan and my Pop (who we lost at the start of the year) At the end of it, i dont like to open up to them or seek help for myself out of some stupid mentality that "im a dude and we dont do this stuff" and that i also just dont want to be a burden. I am also super aware of my mind and where i am, like for instance i know i need help but at the same time im like well i can deal with it myself because its not that bad surely, and as you can tell i also suck at getting my point across and tend to drag things out. Theres a thousand things id like to get out there and probably not enough words to do it so ill try and keep it short. I dont have a relationship with my father and havent really for about 10 years, it came to light about 5 years ago that he was cheating on my mother and i, from the age of 12, were having to fight him to protect my mother and sister. i know i have some deep seeded problem with him i should address at some point but i probably wont. Since i was 12ish i dealt with depression and self harm which didnt help things with dad, ive tried to kill myself 2 times, but i dont have those thoughts anymore and havent for a long time. I have a constant need to be liked and accepted which is exhausting, i am a very social person and i feel like ive lost myself in this character ive created to be accepted my people that i really, dont care for but do at the same time. I also can be pretty self destructive if in a down state of mind via drinking. Losing my Pop hit us all very hard at, he dealt with depression and out of the whole family he was who i could talk to about things and vice versa. He was also very much the only father figure in my life and i looked up to him fondly and now hes gone i have some stupid feeling that i have to be the man in the family now, because he and i were the only males in our immediate families. I also blame my self for his death even though i know for a fact i couldnt prevent what happened (he collapsed and hit his head and couldnt make it out of the coma) but i still blame myself. and im out, sorry.

peacock Sadness letting go
  • replies: 1

I am 63 and have struggled with a dysfunctional family for decades. I have been very upset by the behaviour of my siblings and recently I decided to break off contact with them. Some days I feel fine but other days I feel really down and upset. Today... View more

I am 63 and have struggled with a dysfunctional family for decades. I have been very upset by the behaviour of my siblings and recently I decided to break off contact with them. Some days I feel fine but other days I feel really down and upset. Today is one of those bad days. I just rang Lifeline and talked to a lovely person. I’m dreading tomorrow morning in case I wake up feeling bad and can’t go in to work. I don’t know what to do or where to turn. I have a supportive husband who is amazing and I know I am fortunate to have him. I just want to feel good.

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