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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the chats on this Forum having been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Pandora_Paradoxical BPD person who needs a friend with knowledge of BPD
  • replies: 147

Hi, I am a 39 year old woman who has undiagnosed (but definitely) BPD and I have just ruined another online relationship with somebody because I couldn't handle yet another burst of emotional dysregulation. I have tried to undo the damage with all my... View more

Hi, I am a 39 year old woman who has undiagnosed (but definitely) BPD and I have just ruined another online relationship with somebody because I couldn't handle yet another burst of emotional dysregulation. I have tried to undo the damage with all my heart, but my friend is not responding (and probably rightly so) so now I am spiralling along the path of yet another rejection (but also knowing that it was self inflicted, of course) and am back to being crushingly lonely and craving connection with another human being. I prefer online contact now because it means I can't 'mirror' the other person like I do in a physical meet-up, which means I allow my 'true self' to shine through, although it has lead me to interpret written words in the wrong manner and was the main cause of the last disaster. So, how does a person with BPD find friends? I am aware that I have many qualities and gifts to offer as a friend, but when I have a BPD episode (even if I have informed the other person that I have it and what it is) my friends are often horrified and unable to reconcile the 'me' they thought they knew and the emotionally crashing mess in front of them. Enter awkwardness, enter apologies, enter....rejection. And I didn't mean to do it, not one bit. I just get overwhelmed, trapped in a vicious cycle of self doubt, needing constant relationship status reassurance and wondering whether I am good enough for the other person. Actually, after the storm passes and I have purged, I have more clarity and better resiliance to the matter at hand...but unfortunately, the other person has usually already bailed. Also, ironically, this does NOT happen on any other level in my life - it is ONLY when I have a close interpersonal relationship with someone that I like. If the other person is abusive or violent or aggressive....I am cool, calm and collected, with all the right responses and an incredible amount of tolerance. I don't understand it, but that's the way it is. It also means I am at risk for seeking out such terrible people because it is the only time I feel in control. Thankfully, my rational mind knows that is bad news and I steer clear. But where to from here? If I can't deal with liking someone (or they like me) and I can't be around people who are, well, nasty - what is left? How am I supposed to stop being lonely if I can't connect to someone? Anyone? Do I look for people who have BPD? Will it mean that we will be more understanding of each other or will we feed off each others fear of ultimate rejection? Do I look for people who have experienced another person with BPD and hope that they can understand me? Or do I have meaningless, casual relationships that never go beyond generalised chit chat? Any advice is welcome. I am floundering, exhausted, embarressingly desperate for a connection of some kind but also scared to involve another because I am well-aware of my capacity to hurt and confuse them with my outbursts and this is by far the worst torment I suffer - my negative impact on others (on occasion). My attempts to control my behaviour with self-help books and research has clearly failed, so I am currently looking for a BPD therapist in my area. Thank you.

AverageAusGuy Moving back home and starting over
  • replies: 3

Hi all I have had anxiety and depression on and off my whole life. Over the past year though it has gotten progressively worse to the point where I am barely getting through each day. Thank god I have a loving and supportive wife. It all started goin... View more

Hi all I have had anxiety and depression on and off my whole life. Over the past year though it has gotten progressively worse to the point where I am barely getting through each day. Thank god I have a loving and supportive wife. It all started going downhill about a year ago. I stopped speaking to my small group of friends (I live in the city) and really isolating myself. I basically just worked, went to the gym, and spent time with my wife on weekends. I didn't realise how important socializing was for mental health. I told myself that I didn't need anyone and kept doing my routine. Over the past year though I found myself doing less and less. Besides work, gym, and my wife I didn't really do anything. I got really good at distracting myself with YouTube, Facebook, and podcasts but on the inside I was struggling. At the start of this year a close family member of mine passed away. I also just found out my mum has cancer. My wife and I live away from our home town so it has been difficult being away from everyone back home. I have the shakes constantly and have lost some weight because I can barely eat due to stomach cramps. I am writing this at 2am in the morning because I struggle to sleep. My wife and I have decided to move back to our home town to be closer to friends and family. I am nervous about finding work but am also hopeful for a better future. We have some savings and are debt free. We both have qualifications and have good work references. We will be staying with my brother and I am looking forward to spending more time with him. Anyway thats my story. If anyone else has moved back to their hometown to start over, please let me know.

clovermead Help needed...
  • replies: 1

Hi I have always suffered from anxiety but have had it under control with medication until now! I am suffering from paralyzing anxiety and depression brought on by my husband's suicide in Oct 2019. For the first 4 months I was doing ok...but when I s... View more

Hi I have always suffered from anxiety but have had it under control with medication until now! I am suffering from paralyzing anxiety and depression brought on by my husband's suicide in Oct 2019. For the first 4 months I was doing ok...but when I started counseling I crashed and burned. Now my life is out of control physically, emotionally and financially... just need to know that life will become functional and productive again! Thanks for listening.

Caitlin0204 Unsure what to do/why I feel like this
  • replies: 2

Hi all, its kinda hard to put into words how I feel but I’m going to try. Ive had anxiety for a few years now, it used to be really bad about 4-5 years ago but I got it under control. The past 5-6 months I’ve had some pretty shit things happen in my ... View more

Hi all, its kinda hard to put into words how I feel but I’m going to try. Ive had anxiety for a few years now, it used to be really bad about 4-5 years ago but I got it under control. The past 5-6 months I’ve had some pretty shit things happen in my life (workload, family issues and issues with my partners family). I thought I was handling it well and then one day I woke up and realised I needed help, I wasn’t doing ok and I noticed my moods were very low. I went from absolutely adoring my partner, planning a future, booking holidays, doing life things that made me happy to having no “love” or “joy” from anything. My relationship has turned. I’m so distant and have no sex drive, I have no desire to do the life things I wanted to and no excitement for my big European holiday this year. This also brings out my anxiety and makes me feel worse. im at a total loss. I started seeing a psychologist but I just find I can’t get out of this depressive state (only been twice now) I noticed tonight I can go from being how I use to be to quickly going into this depressive state. I don’t know what to do, its really affecting me socially and my relationship with my boyfriend and family. I just wanna know the way I’m feeling isn’t just me going crazy in my own head and there is a way to deal with this feeling or lack of feeling. thanks!

Allymay94 Cant feel the pain.
  • replies: 1

Long story short my bf broke my heart I lost it and screamed cried. I didn’t want to hurt myself or do anything stupid I just couldn’t handle the pain of it. I had to have a benzodiazepine to sleep. After waking up I felt exhausted and numb like thin... View more

Long story short my bf broke my heart I lost it and screamed cried. I didn’t want to hurt myself or do anything stupid I just couldn’t handle the pain of it. I had to have a benzodiazepine to sleep. After waking up I felt exhausted and numb like thinking what he did to me it’s like my mind couldn’t see it straight and I couldn’t feel the sadness of it. I hate feeling pain but I’d rather feel something than nothing at all. Just a short back story my mum killed her self 9 yrs ago I found her, after a couple of days of still being in shock I guess I felt numb ppl said I was really strong but I just blocked out the pain and couldn’t talk about it. Is that what my mind is doing when it’s over powered with to much emotion it wants to shut down? Is that healthy? I’ve also got GAD so I over analyse things. I can still feel sad but the big things I block out.

angelkattie Hi im new
  • replies: 22

I think i have depression i havent been to a professional and minor anxiety i have collapsed once overthinking and crying and not being able to breathe for no reason. Im not sure how this forum really works so if someone wanted to help me that would ... View more

I think i have depression i havent been to a professional and minor anxiety i have collapsed once overthinking and crying and not being able to breathe for no reason. Im not sure how this forum really works so if someone wanted to help me that would be great

Nikita12 Memory loss - pseudo dementia
  • replies: 3

Hi, I’ve had depression for 15 years but I was still quite high functioning until 2 years ago. At that time my world fell apart. My depression has been so severe and the most distressing symptom is the memory loss. I don’t remember hardly anything ab... View more

Hi, I’ve had depression for 15 years but I was still quite high functioning until 2 years ago. At that time my world fell apart. My depression has been so severe and the most distressing symptom is the memory loss. I don’t remember hardly anything about my life and it’s like my memory is being wiped from minute to minute. I have forgotten all of the knowledge I built during my career and I’m unable to retain any new information. My vocabulary has been reduced to only a few words because I’ve forgotten the rest. I go to places I’ve been going to for twenty years and they don’t feel familiar. My psychiatrist says I’m suffering pseudo dementia. I’m just wondering if anyone else has experienced the same thing. I’ve been to a lot of depression support groups and no one else reports this symptom. I just want to know im not alone and to hear from someone who understands. Thanks for reading.

Youngmum2016 Feel like my kids will be better off
  • replies: 4

Hi I’m 23 and a mum too two little boys age 3 and 3 weeks old my first son has stage 3 autism and my second sub has hip dysplasia and clubbed feet tonight everything just got on top of me and I thought the kids will be better off without me and I was... View more

Hi I’m 23 and a mum too two little boys age 3 and 3 weeks old my first son has stage 3 autism and my second sub has hip dysplasia and clubbed feet tonight everything just got on top of me and I thought the kids will be better off without me and I was better off dead I’m sick of feeling this way someone help I’m in a hole I can’t get out of

Chica72 New here ... facing depression
  • replies: 1

Hi, I’m new here tho I’ve joined a while ago and just recently discovered I am depressed and I’ve suffered anxiety and panic attacks in my past. i have two adult children at home from first marriage that don’t work. Always full of excuses. my husband... View more

Hi, I’m new here tho I’ve joined a while ago and just recently discovered I am depressed and I’ve suffered anxiety and panic attacks in my past. i have two adult children at home from first marriage that don’t work. Always full of excuses. my husband of 8 yrs and I have separated, we have been trying to fix our marriage but it’s a struggle with my two lazy ones and his kids from first marriage who don’t like me for entering their dads lives. They are adults as well. im so depressed, I don’t want to do nothing. And I don’t want to get help in fear everyone thinks I’m a worthless mother, I have children with my recent husband. I have been put down by his family that it’s actually crushed me but I try to stay above the water.

LifetimeDreamer Communicating effectively with person that is depressed
  • replies: 1

Hello, I would very much appreciate your advice. My partner is currently going through grief, especially the depression phase of the grief cycle. That is obviously more periodic depression rather than clinical, however I assume that the symptoms and ... View more

Hello, I would very much appreciate your advice. My partner is currently going through grief, especially the depression phase of the grief cycle. That is obviously more periodic depression rather than clinical, however I assume that the symptoms and pains he experiences are very similar. I would like to understand better how I best communicate with him without causing him pressure and stress or accidental hurt. I am generally there for him and just let him know that he can always turn to me if he wishes to. But as we are manoevering how this is affecting the progress of our relationship, I have also shared my feelings and needs with him. I have done that in an email because he currently feels particularly comfortable when we write to each other. That way, we can both take the time to think through our response and what we think and feel. I am happy with that, so I wrote him an email telling him how I felt a little sad but how I also understand that some of the decisions we have recently had to make are the wisest thing to do right now even if not easy. I also told him that for now, I can live with the new arrangements we have put in place for us (i.e. taking it very slowly and curbing some of our previously made plans) but that I would also need to have those arrangements be temporary only. Basically, I said, I am ok with the distance and undefined nature while he focuses on rebuilding his foundation but that I would not be able to do that forever because I would need to see that we are slowly but steadily moving forward together. Are those sorts of things ok to say or are they counter-productive in his current state? He is currently starting to embrace the requirements to have more social interaction again and actively do things to avoid getting stuck in the depressive phase. I think that is great and I have given him positive feedback and encouragement because I think that is an excellent move. So I do not want to impact him negatively but I also feel I need to be honest and share my own feelings so we are communicating well and transparently. I am cautious and benevolent in my approach and I told him there is no need for him to hurry anything or feel pressure. I just felt it was important that he knows there will come a time for me when I cannot continue this way. I do not want to keep that from him and then, if it eventuates, hit him out of the blue. I would rather avoid it altogether by building awareness and therefore countermeasures together.