Feel like my kids will be better off

[Youngmum2016]

Hi I’m 23 and a mum too two little boys age 3 and 3 weeks old my first son has stage 3 autism and my second sub has hip dysplasia and clubbed feet tonight everything just got on top of me and I thought the kids will be better off without me and I was better off dead I’m sick of feeling this way someone help I’m in a hole I can’t get out of

[Sophie_M]

Hi Youngmum2016, We are so sorry to hear about what you're going through, it sounds like yoou really feel overwhelmed right now. We acknowledge that it takes a lot of courage and strength to reach out for support, and we are so glad that you have done so here today. Please know that our community is here to support you when times are tough. We also want to let you know that we are checking in with you via email. Keep checking back in and let us know how you are going.

[therising]

Hi Youngmum2016

My heart truly goes out to you as you face the challenges that many parents never have to face or rise to. I imagine you are incredibly exhausted and perhaps feeling fairly alone in your challenges. I'm hoping you've got a support network around you that consists of some 'go to' people you can rely on. If so, it's time to begin relying more heavily on them. Whilst it is said 'It takes a village to raise a child', it also takes a village to help raise a mum.

This is an incredibly outside the square angle to consider but try googling Bill Stillman. He has a unique and fascinating perspective on autism. Perhaps this perspective may help in the way of personal empowerment and the relationship you share with your first child. He is someone who not only encourages those diagnosed with autism, he is also a great supporter and cheerleader regarding their caregivers. As I say, his is a very different angle, a very soulful one which many don't give consideration to.

Exhaustion and self-doubt can be incredibly overwhelming. I wish I was there with you, in person, to show you how incredible you truly are. You are, without a doubt, an exhausted warrior fighting for a sense of peace.

🙂

[therising]

Hi Youngmum

I mentioned Bill Stillman. You might have better luck finding him as William Stillman.

[White_Rose]

Dear Youngmum

Hello and welcome to the forum. It's good you have found your way here. You are having a rough time of it at the moment and I hope we can support you. Sophie_M has said you have been contacted via email. This is an off-line service so that you contact beyondblue quickly if necessary. Please keep talking to these people.

Therising has said it's good to have a support network around you and I agree. I do hope there are people you can turn to. One person who can offer more practical help is your GP. I'm sure you must see a doctor with your post-natal check ups. It may help to talk about your feelings at the moment. They may refer you to someone to talk to. Having two babies is stressful enough but when they both have disabilities and it can seem like you are always climbing the hugest mountain.

Do you have family nearby? Can your partner help more with practical care of the babies? Keeping tabs on a three year old can be exhausting. Having had four babies fairly close together I can appreciate how much time and effort it take to care for your babies.

May I ask, does your son get any help for his autism? I understand this is the most severe level and does require a great deal of assistance. With your other son I understand he can be given a soft brace to to mould the hip socket the shape of the ball and generally make life easier for both of you. The good news is that it does not usually prevent babies from walking which I am sure is good thought for you.

Please write in as often as you wish. We are here (though not always immediately) and can chat.

Mary