Depression

struggling with Depression and autism for a teenage girl.

replies: 3

Hey for anyone who is reading this I'm turning 18 this year. I have been diagnosed with autism, ADHD and depression since I was three years old. I took medication since was three for the past 15 years of my childhood life. I didn't notice these sympt... View more

Hey for anyone who is reading this I'm turning 18 this year. I have been diagnosed with autism, ADHD and depression since I was three years old. I took medication since was three for the past 15 years of my childhood life. I didn't notice these symptoms, well to explain it further they didn't bother me as much, but my parents have suffered a ton of shit from me when I was little, tantrums, excessive crying, and many more. but apart from that I was the happiest I had ever been, so much joy that I never felt sadness. As I grew older, at the age of 13-15 when my body began to develop into a woman, hormonal emotions were coming out (which was completely normal at the time) some days I would feel sad, angry, tired and helpless. and when I got my first period I experienced typical teenage mood swings, but as you know when a cycle is done those mood swings tend to settle. However, my 'emotions' wouldn't go away, instead they would grow stronger and develop bigger until I got so used to them that it just ended up being normal. my parents questioned me if I was bipolar or something because I had insanely crazy mood swings every five seconds, but I just told them 'I was tired and its normal..' years go by, and i'm age 16, I start to notice something different about myself, something that I don't recognise anymore. It started small, like with the crazy outburst of emotions, but then it lead to other things like; not enjoying what I used to enjoy...for me it was (videogames) and even when I tried to force myself into playing them, I didn't feel the satisfaction that I used to when I played them. it wasn't just videogames it was all my hobbies everything that defined who I was. it soon came that I grew to a lack of motivation I didn't feel like completing any daily activities that I used to do, I didn't feel like moving an inch from my bed I just wanted to sleep and escape reality and I didn't know why, by this I was angry and upset and confused. life wasn't living for me and it still isn't now.. the worst part is I can't figure out if this is just a normal teenage experience or heavy symptoms of depression. and how do i fix this... how do i fix myself? how do I just be normally happy?

Feeling Empty & Lonely

replies: 2

Feeling empty, lonely and isolated again. I know alot of it has to do with me being a little tired and maybe a little hungry. Going to fix myself a snack. Its been 18 months post separation (6 mths post Divorce)I have been doing everything I can to l... View more

Feeling empty, lonely and isolated again. I know alot of it has to do with me being a little tired and maybe a little hungry. Going to fix myself a snack. Its been 18 months post separation (6 mths post Divorce)I have been doing everything I can to look after myself. Excercise has helped me so much. I have been training for the City2Surf and planning on running that this weekend. I have got back into my hobbies again like photography, but it doesn't matter tonight I'm still feeling so empty.My children are with my ex husband this week. It kills me that I am here and they are there with him and I'm alone.I miss my little family. I miss my husband. I wish we were a family again.Does the emptiness ever go away?We speak every day and I'm worried if I ask him to try again it will put pressure on him and might push him away. He's afraid of getting back into the same dynamic where he couldn't cope. He fears being together means he will die from stress. I'm either alone for dinner or visit my parents to have dinner with then. But I just feel that where I should really be is with my little family that I created. Life feels still feels so empty. Nothing really makes me as happy as excited as I used to be pre 2020. I have tried to connect with friends but everyone seems to be busy to meet up and cancel last minute. I go out on the weekends I don't have the kids by myself either running, hiking alone, doing everything alone. When I have the children I'm usually stressed from their behaviour and they really trigger me when they fight and they dont listen to me. Its as though when I have the kids I'm anxious and stressed when I don't have the kids I'm anxious and lonely. It's one extreme to the other. I feel like I cant win.I want joy and fun and excitement and it feels like I'm just not getting enough or getting very little. I used to feel so much more happiness and joy and fun pre 2020. I don't know what more I can do. Please help.

Is there any type of help that will get me out of the situation I'm in?

replies: 4

Hello everyone, I don't know if this is the right thread to post this is but here we go. I'm in my 30s and currently living at home with my family right now (not married, no kids or anything like that). I don't have a job and its honestly hard for me... View more

Hello everyone, I don't know if this is the right thread to post this is but here we go. I'm in my 30s and currently living at home with my family right now (not married, no kids or anything like that). I don't have a job and its honestly hard for me to get one right now because of my social anxiety, depression and of how limited options there are in the small town I'm in. I contribute to the house with bills, chores, etc so I'm no freeloading even tho most days I feel like I could stay in bed forever. I do have some savings tho from when I was working and I am trying to look for options to work remotely/from home in any industry. My issue is I need to leave that current home I'm in but I don't know how. The environment I'm in has been toxic for around the past 6 months because of one of my family members. They are selfish and I don't see them changing, because of them there are constant arguments between everyone due to their behavior and actions. It is not my home, it is my mothers and she won't get rid of them "because they are family" despite all the trouble they are causing for everyone else. It's honestly been messing me up mentally and if feel like I'm on edge nearly everyday. I have told my family this and it's well, whatever to them I guess? It's not taken seriously or brushed off, unfortunately that's how my family has always been, not open with feelings/emotions and brushing off everyone else's issues. So I pretty much have to suck it up and get over it. I need to be away from this and I feel like I'm gonna completely lose it if I stay much longer. So, I'm wondering are there any services/help that can get me some sort of rental/accommodation despite having no job. Hope everyone has a good day/night.SleepyRain

Lost

replies: 1

I’ve spent my life keeping the peace and making others feel happy. Ive now made the first step to leave my husband as he doesn’t genuinely love me. He’s a covert narcissist and I’m so unhappy, lonely and severely depressed. I have never been alone in... View more

I’ve spent my life keeping the peace and making others feel happy. Ive now made the first step to leave my husband as he doesn’t genuinely love me. He’s a covert narcissist and I’m so unhappy, lonely and severely depressed. I have never been alone in my life and I’m terrified. I’ve moved in with my elderly mother and all my assets including home and husband are in NZ. He thinks I just need time away. I can’t address anything, focus, plan or think straight. I could just stay in bed all day. I’ve lost my spirit, hope and drive. This is not the normal me. I ran a business, had dreams, friends and hobbies. I have nothing less to give I’m 57 living with my 87year old mother with not a lot that will come from the sale of house after all credit cards cleared. I’ve now got total burnout and constant anxiety and lost all self confidence. I dread getting up in the morning and hate what I’ve become. I have a wonderful daughter and son in law, that have been my pillar. I now live in NSW. I’ve joined few women’s groups but can’t find that connection that suits who I would feel comfortable sharing my feelings with . I had a bad childhood and jumped straight into a needy marriage. I love being around people and feel terribly isolated and lonely sorry for the book guys

Cross roads

replies: 18

I have been married for two years and known my husband for five. Im quiet independent with a secure attachment style his is more insecure and a little co dependent. My parents never approved and still don't. I have always had my own things in life an... View more

I have been married for two years and known my husband for five. Im quiet independent with a secure attachment style his is more insecure and a little co dependent. My parents never approved and still don't. I have always had my own things in life and been happy with work and family around me. I have lived in the big smoke my entire life and had strong connections and proximity to family. My partner does not have strong family connections and does not like city living especially as we are living in my mother's rental and due to that situation, my partner pushed for us to buy own own house, in a reginal town as a compromise, so an hours drive from my family. We have renovated our house for the last three years. Our stuff is in there, well half of it. I'm no longer feeling comfortable with the move due to how we have been lately. There is no intimacy or emotional connection between us and I don't feel I can be vulnerable around him most of the time. He does not validate my emotions or opinions and becomes upset at me. I have been seeing a counselor for 2 years. And we have tried couples counseling. I get upset quite a bit as I persist on my boundaries and at times this has ment leaving the house Renos and driving back in storms, pitch black and in tears. I'm worried that if I move there the behaviours may continue or become worse. He has depression and is not dealing with it but promises he will. He also suffers PTSD after a near death experience. His not a controlling person in actions but words seem it and often leave me confused and doubting my own feelings and perception. He says I need to change my perception and think of him in a generous way...when I try to explain that this leads to lack of intimacy he will deny any responsibility. He simply says I need to man up and move forward with my life. He tells me it's not healthy to be under my parents thumb and living in their place(rental). I'm feeling hurt and lonely. We don't have kids. I'm not sure if there is any point continuing with the marriage. He is a nice person but I feel we clash alot. I could leave now and move on with my old life quiet easily but if I move from where I am I feel it will be to hard to move back. He says he will try his hardest, but I'm not sure how when he can't hear what I'm saying. I can't simply flick a switch. I don't know if there is any hope.

Why am I so unlikeable?

replies: 31

Just got home from hospital because of my mental health. Lifeline, 000 and the paramedics were so kind and caring. Then the mental health doctor arrived and he was so arrogant that I just felt like I was a nuisance and a burden to the hospital. He sa... View more

Just got home from hospital because of my mental health. Lifeline, 000 and the paramedics were so kind and caring. Then the mental health doctor arrived and he was so arrogant that I just felt like I was a nuisance and a burden to the hospital. He said "what do you want me to do". I said I didn't know and maybe I should go home. He replied "fine, I'll walk you to the door". I was suicidal and that was the last thing he said to me. I am NEVER going to go to another doctor again. I try to be normal and I even tried answering a few BB posts in a positive way, like the way the "community champions" do but I was pathetic. I have nothing to give as I have very little life experience even at 63. A fat, ugly old spinster that the neighbourhood bullies make fun of. I'm so tired! Rosie

I NEED SUPPORT PLEASE

replies: 4

I know i might not have it as bad as some of you and you might not understand how hard it is for me but i still have it hard and need some extra support. A LITTLE BIT OF MY STORY I have been diagnosed with severe Depression and anxiety my parents wan... View more

I know i might not have it as bad as some of you and you might not understand how hard it is for me but i still have it hard and need some extra support. A LITTLE BIT OF MY STORY I have been diagnosed with severe Depression and anxiety my parents want to test me for ADHD, i also apparently did some very high-risk things that could have been dangerous I have to go to the GP every month and get a bunch of tests like ECG and blood tests. CONTINUING... So i just ask for some support because these are just a couple of things in my life and well yeah PS i really hope i'm not violating or triggering anyone and if anyone else needs support i'll try and help also just joined so i don't really know how this works, but i'd love to here someone elses story.

My depression is quite severe and I think it's affecting my relationship. Advice?

replies: 7

I've had severe depression since I was 13 and it went undiagnosed until I hit senior school. I hinted to my boyfriend about my mental illness when we got together, until I told him fully after some time that I have depressive episodes intermittently ... View more

I've had severe depression since I was 13 and it went undiagnosed until I hit senior school. I hinted to my boyfriend about my mental illness when we got together, until I told him fully after some time that I have depressive episodes intermittently without consulting anyone for consolation. I've had another depressive episode and decided that I wanted to reach out to him about my intrusive thoughts and how I've been feeling. I told him that I've been frustrated with the way family members have been treating me and that I've contemplated taking my own life because I felt worthless in their eyes. I keep saying that no matter how loudly I cry, no one makes me feel heard. My parents are very traditional, to the point they are emotionally abusive and neglectful and have gaslit me multiple times when I was younger. To this, he tells me not to say that I want to take my own life. He then asks what my family members have done that caused me to be depressed. Then said that that if I died, they would still care about me even if they don't show it. I then disclosed that I completely skipped my meal because I've been crying for so long that I lost my appetite. And this isn't good because I have ed. He then asked whether I wanted food, and that he'll order me food. Although I appreciate the gesture of trying to make me feel better. I somehow feel even worse. I feel like I wasted my breathe. Even though he said that it is better that I let it all out, I wished I never let it out in the first place if my feelings were validated at all. I feel alone even when people are around me. No matter how clearly I explain my feelings, how much emphasis I place on my thoughts and severity of the situation. I feel unheard in the relationship. It is bad enough that my own parents don't care. Why must I stay in a relationship like this? I try to be understanding to people the same way I wish to be understood. But all I'm met with is obliviousness. I don't know if this is a relationship worth keeping. I already go to therapy, but I think I'm going to need therapy for more than just me to make this relationship last. I don't use my depression to attention seek. I rarely confide in my boyfriend. But I did this time because he's my partner. I just wished he had comforted me at least. Advice from another that knows better than me?

Everyday is Groundhog Day

replies: 8

Hello,Everyday to me right now is on repeat. Everyone else’s lives are moving ,the dates on the calendar are flashing by and I am stuck on a loop.I feel like a record/CD getting stuck and repeating that same small sounds.I don’t know how to get off t... View more

Hello,Everyday to me right now is on repeat. Everyone else’s lives are moving ,the dates on the calendar are flashing by and I am stuck on a loop.I feel like a record/CD getting stuck and repeating that same small sounds.I don’t know how to get off this feeling. How to move at all. I make myself do one task a day,and when it is done,I am exhausted and just want to sit down again.Do others feel like this?Have you figured out how to change?ABC01

A follow on......

replies: 1

So, I’d like to add more to my initial post. At 15, I fed sharks at Manly Marine-land, not with the grab sticks people use today but rather with my hands. This experience fueled my love for the water. At 16, I joined the Navy Junior Recruit School, a... View more

So, I’d like to add more to my initial post. At 15, I fed sharks at Manly Marine-land, not with the grab sticks people use today but rather with my hands. This experience fueled my love for the water. At 16, I joined the Navy Junior Recruit School, and finally, I found where I was supposed to be—I was home, at last.Fast forward some 30 years and five conflicts later, I left the Navy. Yes, I felt a bit lost outside of my normal regime, but you adapt, as they say, and it worked for some time. There were some hiccups along the way, but you get over them and move on. However, as the old saying goes, "You dance to the tune, but the piper wants to be paid."Now, 20 years after leaving the Navy, I find myself grappling with unexpected consequences. Depression has crept into my life, bringing a profound sadness and loneliness that I struggle to express. It’s as if the ability to talk about these feelings has been stifled. Watching events unfold on social media—whether happy or sad—often brings me to tears. This emotional response feels disproportionate and disconcerting, making me question what’s happening inside me. Have I bottled up my past? What do you do to get this stuff out? Many have said to just talk it out with someone, but I can tell you that is easier said than done. Many just would not understand.

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