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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with Depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the chats on this Forum having been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Azhurestar I need HELP with my daughter
  • replies: 4

I could use some help/advise with the following: My daughter is 20 years old. She has always been very emotional person. I have tried over the years to always be there for her whenever she needed somebody to talk to. I have always said to her that if... View more

I could use some help/advise with the following: My daughter is 20 years old. She has always been very emotional person. I have tried over the years to always be there for her whenever she needed somebody to talk to. I have always said to her that if she ever needed somebody to listen I am here no matter the issue. But she never felt like she can and whenever I felt something was off, I would have to work extra hard to get it out her. I am sorry to say many of those times it left us fighting even though I tried my best to stay calm and understanding. Few months ago she finally admitted that she needs help because she is a dark space but refused my or her fathers help in finding a psychologist for her. She even refused financial help. It took her months of pushing for her to book one telehealth app. ( to be honest I don't believe she kept it). Now she is saying she can book another app whenever she wants and she will do it but again nothing is happening. I don't know how to proceed. She is an adult and I can't force her to keep seeing somebody and I can't force her to talk to me. She is insisting she is fine and that she can handle things on her own. She still lives with us and knows we are there for her but she is not talking. I am afraid because depression does not just go away and it might get much worse.

Azhurestar Lost and alone
  • replies: 4

Hello everybody This might be a long post but this might be the only place where I can talk about my thoughts. I feel so lost and so lonely. I feel lost in my life, my work,my family. I am so unhappy and I feel guilty for feeling unhappy. I have thre... View more

Hello everybody This might be a long post but this might be the only place where I can talk about my thoughts. I feel so lost and so lonely. I feel lost in my life, my work,my family. I am so unhappy and I feel guilty for feeling unhappy. I have three amazing children that I am so proud of, but for the last year/year and a half I have been feeling so sad and unhappy. I wonder why I am here, what have done to make my presence here worth it. I am 38 this year, and I hate that I feel as I have wasted my life away and sometimes I say to myself: what is wrong with you, you acting as if you are 80 not 38, get up, harden up and do something that will make you feel worthy? But that's not happening. I start something and not long after that it goes down because I cant see the point of it anymore. I don't know even how to write whats inside my head right now. I have changed so much over the last 5-6 years. I have become so different than my husband that now I dont know what we are to each other anymore. I have started to resent what he says, what he does, we cant seem to agree on anything and its making me angry . And on the end all of this is making me guilty for feelining any of it. Two years ago I ended up in hospital with subarachnoid haemorrhage due to a aneurysm and every day I wish I didn't wake up from it. Finding out that when I went into surgery my husband when home was like a trigger that has taking me to this dark place that I cant get out from. I mean what person that tells you he loves you and that you are the most important thing for him, goes home when you go into a life threatening surgery because it was gonna take hours. I am hurt. On top of that he didn't even see how much that upset me when we spoke about it. I can't write anymore, I am at work and I have started to cry and it will not look good with the customers.

user9463728 Why do I change my entire personality so often?
  • replies: 5

No idea where to post this lol. I've never told anyone I do this but I've noticed that I've done this since I was very young. When I was younger it didn't occur as often but I feel like it's getting more frequent. One that I clearly remember was when... View more

No idea where to post this lol. I've never told anyone I do this but I've noticed that I've done this since I was very young. When I was younger it didn't occur as often but I feel like it's getting more frequent. One that I clearly remember was when I was around 10, I took dancing lessons and there was this girl who always caught my eye. I copied the way she acted and when she and her mum weren’t in the room, I'd go to her bag write down the labels of everything in her bag. I even started to crack my knuckles just because she did. I tried smiling the way she did and dancing the same way. When my dance teacher didn't give me the same opportunities or treated me the same I would get pissed off and wouldn't dance how they wanted me to. I even faked injuries to sit out and watch the girl. (I tried to make sure I wasn't being really creepy lol) After I watched her for a while, I would be so excited to go to school the next day and try everything the girl did with her friends to my school friends. I even tried hugging them more because that's what she did. Nowadays I still do this but the person I choose to mimic will be anyone, for example, someone in a tv show, or someone I see at school. I have lots of friends and get plenty of attention too, so I think I've come to realise that the reason I do this is probably because I see what those people get from other people and I want it too. I get so focused and kind of "obsessed" with the person I choose that it becomes very frustrating and I can't do anything without thinking about them. I find it very hard to get work done without getting the urge to spend hours researching everything I can find about them. I'll be feeling like my whole life revolves around acting like them then I'll wake up the next day bored and just choose someone else to mimic. I have a bunch of other things I do that I feel are kinda odd.Some of my friends also jokingly mention how I seem to hate them one day than love them the next, which I honestly feel is true. If they all suddenly disappeared, I really wouldn’t care.I'm aware that I sound like a shitty friend, but I honestly couldn't care less. Went to the doctors for something unrelated and she asked if I was depressed or anxious but I really dont think I am. My parents are also concerned because all I do is stay in my room.I enjoy it.Its not because Im sad or anxious around people, its just that I find them very boring and it's exhausting around them. Do you think this is this normal?

Hahn1 Kettle
  • replies: 3

I am lost and have been for many years. The past few years have felt like a dream, I found someone to call my other half and a son to make it complete. Lately I've been feeling like a failure and a burden to my family. Financial stresses have me at m... View more

I am lost and have been for many years. The past few years have felt like a dream, I found someone to call my other half and a son to make it complete. Lately I've been feeling like a failure and a burden to my family. Financial stresses have me at my whits end, and my partner is at breaking point. I stare off into space and can't recall how long for. It's not day dreaming, merely small insignificant thoughts coming to the fore front. I can't for the life of me stick to routine and order: I thrive in choas and on impulse. I hate it. I want to be normal. I'm tired of struggling. I'm over being me. Pushing everything to the side and not acknowledging my issues has created a demon. I feel like there's no way back to the path I carelessly left. How do I come back? I've never reached out before, and I've never pictured myself at 25. Never thought I'd get this far. What do I do...

lovebowie Struggling Socially But I Can't Cope in Public Spaces without Someone I Know
  • replies: 3

I'm a high school student, currently on break. Prior to break, I wasn't doing to well emotionally, but I was working through it, with my one friend and girlfriend. During the break, I completely plummeted. I couldn't leave my house, could hardly resp... View more

I'm a high school student, currently on break. Prior to break, I wasn't doing to well emotionally, but I was working through it, with my one friend and girlfriend. During the break, I completely plummeted. I couldn't leave my house, could hardly respond to messages and mainly just wallowed in my own filth. I really tried my hardest, and messaged my gf everyday, but they ended up breaking up with me. They said that they really didn't want to see me at a school, and since I haven't been talking to my other friend much, I figured that they might just go with my ex, leaving me alone. I'm not really bummed about my ex, I was honestly just keeping with them because I knew the split would tear our friend group apart. They never really tried to understand me, and were condescending about my autism and selective mutism, and several other things. I find that when being forced to socialise with strangers, I am unable to speak unless I have someone I know with me, mainly due to my autism. Without anyone I can talk to, I'm basically being forced into mutism. I can cope with being by myself, but knowing that I'll be the last one for every single group project just hurts. Sitting by myself for every class, every lunch break, and when the teacher says to pair up just stings. And I hate it. I go back to school in two days. And I know that when I show up, I am going to have a complete breakdown, by myself. I just don't want to be lonely, and I push away anyone that cares about me.

Jaymore feeling overwhelmed
  • replies: 3

There's a lot that's always on my mind: feeling like I'm not good enough to be loved; feeling like no one cares about me; feelings of loneliness when I'm on my own and stress from work. My negative self-worth stems from my Mum's mistreatment of me af... View more

There's a lot that's always on my mind: feeling like I'm not good enough to be loved; feeling like no one cares about me; feelings of loneliness when I'm on my own and stress from work. My negative self-worth stems from my Mum's mistreatment of me after her and Dad's divorce when I was 9. Long story short, I felt neglected, unsafe and hated. Eventually, what followed that is thinking that everyone hated me. I became depressed at a young age. I had a new school, a new living situation and both my parents found themselves in new relationships. It was too much for me. I felt so lost, I didn't want to be alive anymore. While my situation gradually became easier, the negative self-worth remains to this day. It's ruined some of my closest friendships. I've learnt to keep the hatred of myself on the inside and not express it out loud to ensure I don't scare anyone off. Unfortunately, with everything building up inside, it sometimes gets to a point where everything is released and I don't want that happening because it affects the people around me. I work full-time in the hospitality industry as a manager so I carry everything on my shoulders which is sometimes extremely overwhelming. On our busy days the smallest things can make me snap and I don't like the way I treat people. I try to remind myself to reign it in and to control my emotions, but in the heat of the moment I forget to. Multiple times I've just had a complete breakdown at work when everything becomes too much. Of course I do have good days and I believe that I'm perfectly fine and don't need help - but deep down I know that isn't true. I know millions of people around the world would definitely feel the same way as I do, which I guess is sort of comforting. I have many people in my life I know I can go to for help. But sometimes, I feel like it would be wrong to bother them, or that they don't care about me so I don't reach out. That's when the loneliness comes back. My girlfriend is right now my biggest supporter, not only do I want to get better for myself, but also for her too. I see how happy she is when she knows I'm happy. I love her and despite everything I've said above, I do believe I'm the happiest I have ever been and a lot of that is down to my relationship with her. I want to get married and have kids with her one day. So all of that is definitely a source of motivation to get help. Thank you for listening. Even the smallest piece of advice would be really appreciated!

TheBigBlue Good News!
  • replies: 3

Hi All, A few of you have been around a while & seen my posts. This year was hard. But of the blue, some goodness came. I wanted to get out of the travel industry, obviously it’s been significantly affected by Covid, but I had also had no desire to c... View more

Hi All, A few of you have been around a while & seen my posts. This year was hard. But of the blue, some goodness came. I wanted to get out of the travel industry, obviously it’s been significantly affected by Covid, but I had also had no desire to continue with it. I’ve been reduced to 2 days a week work for over a year & just needed to move on. After working from home, I also realised a few things. I don’t want the commute to the city any more. I just want something close to home, no matter how mundane it is. So I’ve kind of looking while still working my 2 days. I either felt completely out of my depth with no experience in new roles, or felt completely unqualified & worthless. Anyway, I had applied for a job weeks ago but they had paused recruiting due to the covid lockdown. Anyway, recruitment re-opened, I impressed with the phone interview, HR then had the manager of that role contact me. He called me last Wed, asked if we could meet in person on Thursday morning & by Thursday afternoon I was offered the job. im so happy! I’m starting this coming Wed & I feel really excited. Those never ending thoughts & feelings of being absolute useless, worthless & unwanted have lessened & I feel like going back to full time work places me back as a valued member of society. So just wanted to share my news. I’ve come from a very hard place, to a much happier place in the space of a week. I don’t think I’ve ever had such a change of fortune in such a small amount of time. Things are on the up! (I hope)

LateInLife My spouse is depressed and waiting for the Psych visit. Anything she can do now?
  • replies: 7

Hi Everyone My Wife is on meds and will need an adjustment. Her doctor is unwilling to make changes and we are now in a waiting period for a Psychiatrist appointment (4 weeks away). The issue is she is low and feels like just giving up. We are financ... View more

Hi Everyone My Wife is on meds and will need an adjustment. Her doctor is unwilling to make changes and we are now in a waiting period for a Psychiatrist appointment (4 weeks away). The issue is she is low and feels like just giving up. We are financially well off and there is no stress in her life and nothing that would cause her depression as she has just lost joy in doing things. We are keeping busy to keep her occupied. Mainly she feels worthless and of no use. I am currently going through CBT with her and just started. Does anyone know of any excellent online resources, either therapy chat groups or videos to see how others got through the dark days? Kind regards Dave

Jimbob1 I just simply want answers
  • replies: 3

Here’s a little background about me I’m a 20 yr old man of English and NZ descent but anyways essentially things for me feel like hell. When I was younger I would get beaten by my uncle around the same time I was diagnosed with autism. I had a diffic... View more

Here’s a little background about me I’m a 20 yr old man of English and NZ descent but anyways essentially things for me feel like hell. When I was younger I would get beaten by my uncle around the same time I was diagnosed with autism. I had a difficult time making friends especially with things I am interested in which I’ll touch more on later on. Throughout the high school years are when things got really bad, I would be ridiculed by everyone about just about anything, I had trouble making friends and getting with girls to the point that I thought they all hated me and that continued throughout my entire school life. Things settled a bit, I got a new car and the job itself is alright but the people I feel just plain hate me, they just make fun of me day in and day out and the friends I managed to make there aren’t even slightly interested in anything I like or even how my day is. I feel out of place in this world & am ready to take my losses and end it all if things continue like this but like the title says I just want to know why things are this cruel. Simply, just why?? I finally graduated and the friends I did have barely or never spoke to me ever again which really hurt and I started working soon after and felt like I turned a corner in life but not long after I would lose said job, the ONE girl I managed to convince to like me and I crashed my car which nearly killed me, which I wish it did by the way. I eventually found a new job I’m still at now and then a year later of the same suffering like I felt in school the pandemic hits…. And i feel like I want to die even further than I already did.

Winnie333 Friend may have depression (maybe?)
  • replies: 0

Hey everyone! I am new to this forum and thankyou Beyond Blue for creating a space like this I want to get some insight to how others deal with depression and see if you have any suggestions for me to help as a friend. A bit of context My friend is a... View more

Hey everyone! I am new to this forum and thankyou Beyond Blue for creating a space like this I want to get some insight to how others deal with depression and see if you have any suggestions for me to help as a friend. A bit of context My friend is a typical middled age man with 2 adult kids and has expressed to me lately being tell me his feels suicidual (thinking about it/minor self-harm) and has no interest in anything. He also calls this no interest a "volid" in which he tries to fill it up with hobbies, volunteer, working 2 jobs etc. He says he has everything stable in his life, but his just sad and feels the only way to deal with this 'volid' is to die. Its crazy because his also very smart and learns alot about many different things (e.g. holds 4 degrees, can play 2 instructments, speaking 3 languages etc). Also this 'volid' feeling for him has being going on for years, according to him (I would assume since maybe his 20s). He gets moody from time to time and its sometimes hard to talk about his feelings as his not very expressive and negative (e.g. "I don't want to talk about" or "I just want to hurt myself" etc). Funny enough in person his fun, energtic and got a wick sense of humour and the 'depressed' side is not what he shows to everyone. Also in real life his still works 2 jobs and in his spare time, at the moment, learning to code (very impressive!). His recenlty also started taking up drinking 2 bottles of beer each night, which is very unusual for him as well. Its good that he talks about this issue, but he did say I am the only person he mentioned it to. I have also given him phone numbers to helplines and counselling services (which I am not surprised.... he does not take action). I have asked other friends about how they handled a situation similar to this. They emphasised a lot on keeping the communication open, which I have being doing. I hope it does make him feel better in some way. Questions 1. What is this volid? He doesn't really describe this feeling of emptiness very well and I have asked a few times. 2. How do others deal with 'no interest'? 3. What has being helpful things your friends/family have done? 4. And how do you encourage a person to go on a recovery jounrey 5. What ways can I encourage him to seek professional help Please share your stories I would love to know and understand Thankyou kindly everyone