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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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CherryBerry Extreme Anger Problems
  • replies: 3

I’m not so sure where to write this, so I hope here is okay.For quite a while now, I have been having awful, uncontrollable anger surges. It happens at random times of the day, and It’s just been getting more and more common.I’ll use what just happen... View more

I’m not so sure where to write this, so I hope here is okay.For quite a while now, I have been having awful, uncontrollable anger surges. It happens at random times of the day, and It’s just been getting more and more common.I’ll use what just happened around 20 minutes ago as an example. When I get angry, i find everything extremely annoying. I just want to break everything, but I urge not too which just makes me more angry. I have very violent thoughts when I see my family or my pets. I want to scream and just hit something. I feel super uncomfortable and I shake a lot. This can late for up to 30 minutes, where at some point I’ll start to break down crying; as if it’s some sudden switch. It’s becoming an issue at school and I excuse myself to the bathroom to do some meditation to calm down (which works in school, but it doesn’t stop me from feeling this way at all and sometimes I can’t even meditate because I become so restless). Then after some time it’s just stops. Almost every time I forget how it just stops but it does, and it’s fine again.Almost all of the time my anger just doesn’t feel as though it has a purpose. A lot of the time it’s not even because things aren’t going my way or anything, it’s just sudden. Sometimes, though, I can start to feel this way at the thought of my personality. I’m quite submissive and hate being told off, so lots of people took advantage and of that and I just wish I weren’t so hurt by what people say or do.my mother says it’s my hormones, and it could be, but I’m not so sure if it is.i have been diagnosed with depression, ADD and social anxiety, so maybe it could be connected to any of these.my main point of my post is just to talk about this to at least someone. And I would also like some advice of what to do. I hate feeling this way and I feel like it’s getting in the way of doing things normally.thank you for reading

Waffle- Ready to admit I need help
  • replies: 5

I've always been depressed. Recently, I've been going through a lot. My depression has become worse as a result. I'm sleeping in late everydayVery tired, low energy, it's a struggle to do basic chores and take care of myselfI don't feel joy. Hobbies ... View more

I've always been depressed. Recently, I've been going through a lot. My depression has become worse as a result. I'm sleeping in late everydayVery tired, low energy, it's a struggle to do basic chores and take care of myselfI don't feel joy. Hobbies and things I usually enjoy don't make me feel much at all. And because they take energy, they end up feeling like chores that I don't want to doI'm withdrawn and I don't want to see people. I don't want them to see me like this This has been going on for weeks now. It feels like my body has collapsed. It probably has, as I've recently quit my job and left a very stressful situation. I know what I'm describing is vague and generic. I can break it down into smaller parts and go into more specific problems later in separate threads. It's not all doom and gloom, just mostly. But fundamentally, what I'm wondering is this: I need professional help. I intend to do that. But even if I get help, will I ever be able to fix myself? I've tried therapy in the past. It helped. It might help this time. But I feel so severely depressed this time that I don't know anymore. Do I need medication? I've never tried that. It seems unrealistic to expect a pill to magically fix things. But at this point, I'm certain that my brain isn't producing the chemicals it's meant to. It probably hasn't been for a long time. I feel pathetic watching days go by and wasting away. I know I should be doing so much more. And there are so many things I want to be doing. I just don't have the willpower for it. I want to claw my way out this hole. I haven't given up. But it's tough. I don't think I've ever felt this lost before. I exercised the past 2 days, breaking a month-long hiatus. And I've done a lot of research on mental health, making vague plans to sort myself out. It's not much, but I'm trying to celebrate the little victories I do have.

Coco18-8 Breaking point
  • replies: 4

I have been depressed for quite some time. I have a therapy session in three days. I am at my absolute breaking point, everything feels so heavy. The thought of tomorrow seems so overwhelming, let alone waiting three days to see my therapist . I’m tr... View more

I have been depressed for quite some time. I have a therapy session in three days. I am at my absolute breaking point, everything feels so heavy. The thought of tomorrow seems so overwhelming, let alone waiting three days to see my therapist . I’m trying to hold out to see them but there is so much sadness consuming me , idk when it will ever end. Even just writing this I know I’ll be sitting here sad afterwards, I truely feel so alone and I don’t know what to do.

Baileysmells Depression is returning with a vengeance
  • replies: 6

I was slowly getting better for a while there, but after a few unsuccessful dates the loneliness came. Since then I've just been regressing back to how I was at the start of the year, thoughts of wanting to not be here are coming back at random like ... View more

I was slowly getting better for a while there, but after a few unsuccessful dates the loneliness came. Since then I've just been regressing back to how I was at the start of the year, thoughts of wanting to not be here are coming back at random like before. I'm just so tired. Tired of this battle against my mental health. Tired of my anxiety stopping me from being who I want to be. Tired of having no one to share my day with. My assessments are beginning to pile up and I've been neglecting my study in favor of disassociating and sleeping all day. I'm so over taking medication. I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm actually no better than I was a year ago, I'd just been able to keep my mind busy for a while, now It's back to being sad and wishing the morning won't come. I don't know how I'm going to continue, I'm being forced to become more and more independent and it's hitting like a truck with all this other stuff. Existential issues are arising.

Suzbj This saying about depression made sense to me - does it make sense to you?
  • replies: 16

The friend that held my hand today and has been through depression herself said something that was passed onto her. "Depression is anger turned inwards". Still out on that re the jury of my mind but it did hit a cord. What does everyone else think? I... View more

The friend that held my hand today and has been through depression herself said something that was passed onto her. "Depression is anger turned inwards". Still out on that re the jury of my mind but it did hit a cord. What does everyone else think? I think there is some merit to that saying to some degree... Cheers Suz

walrusLog Will I be able to look back at this dark stage, or will it be with me forever?
  • replies: 5

Some days I look into the mirror and all I see is hate for myself in everything I am or do. Recently after a long term relationship ending, I have struggled with self esteem and having confidence in myself. While being in a relationship I still strug... View more

Some days I look into the mirror and all I see is hate for myself in everything I am or do. Recently after a long term relationship ending, I have struggled with self esteem and having confidence in myself. While being in a relationship I still struggled with a purpose in life but now it has just gotten worse and have turned to self hatred and suicidal thoughts now starting to arise. I have friends and family who listen and it helps but its just been going on for so long I don't see it ever going away. I was just hoping someone here might have some personal experience or advice in general to offer, realistically is this going to stay with me throughout life now?

Hgfddvg Lost in life
  • replies: 7

for some reason I think I hate myself I don’t know why. Feel like I’m wasting my life. Hate working see no way out, I’ve hated every single job don’t see how this will ever change. Waking up getting out of bed is really hard. Don’t stay happy for lon... View more

for some reason I think I hate myself I don’t know why. Feel like I’m wasting my life. Hate working see no way out, I’ve hated every single job don’t see how this will ever change. Waking up getting out of bed is really hard. Don’t stay happy for long. Think about death a lot, suicide. No one likes me. Why my whole life do I have to invite myself to things, I’m never actually wanted. Hate how my friends don’t want to do anything anymore. Hate how I look, I’m ugly Don’t like hair, eyebrows too big, crooked nose, fat chin, smile, teeth aren’t perfect,too hairy, weird arms, un even shoulders, small legs. Hate my personality I wish I was someone different. I wish I had direction, I see no future. Dont know what I’m doing with my life. I hate that I’m 30 everyone else has figured out there life and I haven’t. I still feel like I’m 18. I feel like I’m nothing. I’m scared one day I might self harm

Doolhof How are you coping with your thoughts today?
  • replies: 71

Hi All, Each moment of every day, we have thoughts darting around in our minds. When I stop to consider the ramblings that are occurring, I realise just how much negativity and destruction is sometimes involved in my thought process. If I leave these... View more

Hi All, Each moment of every day, we have thoughts darting around in our minds. When I stop to consider the ramblings that are occurring, I realise just how much negativity and destruction is sometimes involved in my thought process. If I leave these thoughts unchecked, allow them to proceed further, if I don't acknowledge of challenge them, I can soon find myself struggling mentally. How do you proceed once you realise your thoughts and mind are drifting off to a place you would rather not be?

Baileysmells God being lonely sucks.
  • replies: 18

There’s this emptiness I’ve been filled with recently. My life on paper is slowly improving but I feel like I have no substance in my day to day. I don’t find myself letting my guard down around my family. I can’t be ‘me’. So in order to feel connect... View more

There’s this emptiness I’ve been filled with recently. My life on paper is slowly improving but I feel like I have no substance in my day to day. I don’t find myself letting my guard down around my family. I can’t be ‘me’. So in order to feel connection and to be comfortable I search for it in relationships. That’s where the problems start, I actually feel happy when I’m talking to or going on those first few dates with someone and I let my hopes get way out of check. When it doesn’t work out it- devastates me. I am then sent back into depression and self loathing for a few weeks. I used to be okay with isolation, but since I started dating it feels empty. I’m just not sure how to find that sense of comfiness and warmth without a partner and I’m not sure I can. How can I cope/work on this? It’s weird, I’m way more confident when it’s a 1-1 conversation with anyone but add another to the mix and I’m reserved af, making meaningful friendships is hard for me. Making friends in general sounds pretty terrifying to me now that I think about it. I’ve stopped talking to my old friends since I moved to a small town.

Sleeper Does it ever get better?
  • replies: 2

Hello, this may be long. My family has a history of generational trauma and my parents grew up in a time where domestic violence was widely common and accepted. As a result my parents weren't really good with the whole parenting aspect of life. In my... View more

Hello, this may be long. My family has a history of generational trauma and my parents grew up in a time where domestic violence was widely common and accepted. As a result my parents weren't really good with the whole parenting aspect of life. In my early years of being a kid, I have a lot of memories of my parents constantly yelling and trashing the house. It gradually stopped over the years once the police got involved. However the following years were rough, my mum was especially stressed due to many reasons and often took it out on her kids growing up. She was verbally abusive, threatened us a lot, would priorities everything else over her own kids, including her reputation, and would keep us in the house because the outside is too dangerous. She would gatekeep us from seeing certain friends or family that she did not like but would force us to act friendly with her friends to make her look better. Growing up with this treatment, I didn't realise it was "wrong" because it was all I knew and eventually I broke down in my senior year of high school because I could not take it anymore. I was diagnosed with depression at the time but they suspect I probably had it for a longer period. My relationship with her is a lot better now but I have an extreme one-sided love/hate relationship with her. I struggle with severe flashbacks and nightmares that keep me up at night and on these days, my hatred for her is obvious in daily life and sometimes I can't handle seeing her. The flashback has been recently difficult the last few weeks and I'm teary everyday, its difficult to get out of bed, I'm constantly tire and nauseous, I oversleep to avoid dealing with real life and I forget things that I did a few seconds ago. I have just started a full time job and that has been the main reason forcing me to get out of bed and be active. However I have been making a lot of mistakes at work and that has weighing on my shoulders and have been making me spiral into self-doubt and feeling worthless, just like my mum did when she was raising me. I have resorted to hurting myself discreetly as a way to cope and I know its not healthy but its the only way I know off that keeps my calm. The point is, I feel like I haven't made any progress since back then and its been difficult for me to get up everyday knowing that I will be exhausting myself fighting and suppressing against these negative thoughts and feelings.

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