THE PROCECUTION OF THE INTERNATIONAL CRIMINAL KNOWN AS SANTA CLAUS
Ladies and gentlemen of the court of Australia, Today, we are here to
put forward a formal proposal for the capture, prosecution and
incarceration of Mr. Kris Kringle, better known wo...
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THE PROCECUTION OF THE INTERNATIONAL CRIMINAL KNOWN AS SANTA CLAUS
Ladies and gentlemen of the court of Australia, Today, we are here to
put forward a formal proposal for the capture, prosecution and
incarceration of Mr. Kris Kringle, better known worldwide by his
criminal handle “Santa Claus”. This individual has been blatantly
breaking countless laws both here in our sovereign nation and
internationally for decades, possibly even centuries. Although, this
cannot be confirmed. For too many years this criminal has been blatantly
entering Australia illegally without a valid visa or via a designated
port of entry and deliberately bypassing all of Australia’s border
protection security. In addition, it has been reported that he also
brings numerous undocumented reindeer into our country regularly without
adhering to our countries strict quarantine regulations. These untested
animals could risk exposing our vulnerable native animals to any number
of dangerous foreign parasites and diseases which potentially could be
devastating to our indigenous populations. As Mr. Johnny Depp has
recently discovered, such a risk to our native species cannot and will
not be tolerated here in Australia regardless of an individual’s “fame”
or “celebrity” status. In addition, over the years Mr. Kringle has
accumulated several million counts of smuggling, non-declaration of
goods, import tax avoidance and the illegal importation of large amounts
of untested goods without the required permits. These imported items
have not undergone any kind of quality control or safety tests that are
required by law to be performed by the Department of Immigration and
Border Protection. Regulations which exist for the sole purpose of
protecting our citizens from potential harm. It should also be noted
that it must be assumed that since Mr. Kringle apparently makes all his
items at his own personal factory in an unknown location, that many of
the items that he distributes obviously must be counterfeit knockoffs of
famous brand names not endorsed by the legitimate companies that
manufacture them. We have pursued lines of enquiry to a number of these
companies, but are still awaiting any official reply. However, the
prosecution reserves the right to pursue this at a later date as new
evidence comes to light.
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