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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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MrSavoy Inability to make big decisions
  • replies: 5

Hi, I have always been a bit of an over-thinker or procrastinator, a bit negative at times, and just kind of dealt with it. I have always found it difficult to make decisions, but decisions that only affected me and were easy to get over. However rec... View more

Hi, I have always been a bit of an over-thinker or procrastinator, a bit negative at times, and just kind of dealt with it. I have always found it difficult to make decisions, but decisions that only affected me and were easy to get over. However recently couldn't go through with a big decision and really let my partner down and feeling really terrible about the whole thing now. We put an offer in on a house which was accepted - I got terribly cold feet about it and seemed to concentrate on every negative thing about it and the whole process of selling our house, home loans, etc. My anxiety got so bad I couldn't think clearly about the whole situation, I literally got sick overnight and was totally run-down from work at the same time - eventually my girlfriend said don't worry about it, I cooled off on the purchase and it was done. Now I'm realising I'd gotten my self in such a state I couldn't accept that we had finally bought our dream house, offer was accepted, my girlfriend was totally in love with the house, it was well within our budget, everything went right and even then I couldn't accept it and I've gone and ruined the whole thing. Now we are back to square one still in our little house that we don't particularly like (even more so knowing what we could have been coming home to every night) - the other house sold the very next day and I feel like I'll be in a state of 'what could have been' for ever. It has definitely affected my relationship. If the same opportunity came up again I'd like to think I've learned from this but I'm not so sure I wouldn't get stuck again. Now it's really affecting my outlook and level of un-happiness. Feel like I'm working so hard and saving money for nothing because I can't even go through with deals like this. My girlfriend kind of says it doesn't matter so long as I'm happy, but it's really made me totally devastated that I let her down (well the both of us down) and couldn't handle the situation. So struggling to deal with my current situation, and wondering what I can do to make better decisions in the future. I should have been able to take a step back and realise what I was doing. It was even pointed out that my stress and state of mind was affecting my decision making and couldn't recognise it as someone trying to help me. I totally understand I should feel lucky to be in the position I am in - but just struggling at the moment. Thanks for listening

BobRoberts Terrible anxiety
  • replies: 1

Hi guys, I have battled anxiety and panic attacks for as long as I can remember. It seems to be an hereditary thing, because my maternal side all has the same issues (although none of it is ever spoken about). I work in a high profile/high stress job... View more

Hi guys, I have battled anxiety and panic attacks for as long as I can remember. It seems to be an hereditary thing, because my maternal side all has the same issues (although none of it is ever spoken about). I work in a high profile/high stress job. It’s very visible and I do my best to cope. Catastrophising and the anxious “loop” my mind gets into, is so draining and frightening. I’ve been seeing a great psychologist and my exercise program is helping me a lot. I just can’t seem to shake it, even when I’m managing it well, I still get shocking pangs that stop me in my tracks. Sweats, rushing to the bathroom, pacing around the room. My job makes it worse. Problem is I’m good at it and passionate about it. Im just wondering if this is sustainable? Do I need to quit, and take on something that won’t trigger me as often and as powerfully? Or will my anxiety just follow me to whatever job I do? Thanks very much.

Gedgirl OCD thing i wrote about me and my diagnosis
  • replies: 2

I guess rant ahead.... also may trigger some people. I worry every day about my inevitable death. Sometimes to the point of making myself sick. And i struggling daily with the fact that despite any choices i make in life it all results in my inevitab... View more

I guess rant ahead.... also may trigger some people. I worry every day about my inevitable death. Sometimes to the point of making myself sick. And i struggling daily with the fact that despite any choices i make in life it all results in my inevitable death. I worry constantly about the fact i won't get to spend forever with the ones i love because it will always end. It makes me feel sick thinking about all the experiences and feelings life offers and that resulting in nothingness. I regularly count the number of years i have til 80+(general death area) and rationalise that it won't go fast and break it down into five or 10 year blocks to ease my mind. These thoughts affect my daily life. I also deal with continuous thoughts of contracting deadly diseases. Cancer being an example. No this does not mean i tell everyone i have cancer. It means i obsess over things. Potential symptoms. I worry excessively about my health. And no this differs from hypochondria yes the symptoms are very similar but my diagnosis is OCD. extreme excessive and compulsive thoughts around this area. I apologise for the novel and the rant but its important for people to know there is always a reason behind the 'odd' behaviours of others and if you feel this way or similar there is help you can access because it is not considered normal to stress this much over these things

chloel7 anyone else have an eating disorder but seems to keep a stable weight?
  • replies: 1

ive had an eating disorder for about half a year now, i find that people like my friends dont notice (which is good ) because yes i starve myself but i also binge constantly and only am sometimes able to purge. im 5 3 and have been 45 kilos for a whi... View more

ive had an eating disorder for about half a year now, i find that people like my friends dont notice (which is good ) because yes i starve myself but i also binge constantly and only am sometimes able to purge. im 5 3 and have been 45 kilos for a while now, ive actually gained a kilo surprisingly considering my restrictive diet im on rn. I just wrote this bcs i havent met anyone else who hasnt had their weight dramatically plummet or increase during their ed so im just wondering if anyone else is the same.

Seeker12 Anxiety at work, My personal life is getting destroyed
  • replies: 2

Hi All, I am working mother of 2 kids. I have a beautiful family. My husband is very supportive as well. Just to give you a background. I have joined my work back after 10 months career break. I decided to take that break to take care of my kids. I u... View more

Hi All, I am working mother of 2 kids. I have a beautiful family. My husband is very supportive as well. Just to give you a background. I have joined my work back after 10 months career break. I decided to take that break to take care of my kids. I used to be very stressed at work and that was impacting my personal life. Now I have joined back , this is my third week and I have started getting feelings of failure again. Thoughts like, what the other person will think of me, I keep saying sorry to others and sometimes it feels like I want to speak but my voice is not coming from my mouth. Other times I speak but not loud enough that other person will hear me. I feel like I am not capable enough to do the work. But I will have to work because of finances issues. This is all impacting my relationship with my husband and kids. There are nights when I don't do anything just sit down and keep crying. I can't explain to my kids and I dont want them to think I am weak. I feel scared. There is some heaviness on my chest all the time. I would like to add one more thing which I think is important one. My native language is not english but I am leaving in sydney. so I do have language issues, I can't mingle with people easily. My company is really good and people are very supportive. But it is just me which is killing me inside.

cocosmith boyfriend troubles and anxiety
  • replies: 1

Hi. So about 2 months ago my boyfriend and I had a really awful fight. It lasted for about 2 weeks and we were still really struggling for that whole month. I have never felt so low. I was having trouble eating, sleeping, and just managing day to day... View more

Hi. So about 2 months ago my boyfriend and I had a really awful fight. It lasted for about 2 weeks and we were still really struggling for that whole month. I have never felt so low. I was having trouble eating, sleeping, and just managing day to day functioning. On top of this all I was overseas on a family holiday and he was at my house taking care of it for my family (which he left while we were overseas because thats when the fight started). The fight was not his fault nor was it mine it was sort of circumstances but it touched on some really difficult topics for both of us (wont go into the whole thing). My boyfriend is also my best friend; he probably knows me better than anyone and he is always the person I go to when I'm struggling (still have plenty of other friends). so- when we were fighting I felt so messed up because i felt i had no one to go to because no one really understood how much he means to me and knew all my secrets (for example, my dads an alcoholic and my boyfriend is the only person i have been able to talk about it with). I was so messed up while we were fighting and i have never been so anxious in my life. Anyway, eventually we talked through our problems and its been a while and we are basically back to normal and have talked about dealing with fights better in the future- but i am so paranoid about having those same feelings of anxiety again even if us parting ways if for something totally out of my control and normal like him falling out of love with me. So- i don't know how to move forward and deal with this- would love some advice. xx

Izfish Alone and confused
  • replies: 3

I am so so confused at the moment. So for about 2ish years I have been battling social anxiety by myself. Like I am completely alone. I really struggle to open up to people, I just don’t have anyone around me who I feel comfortable talking to except ... View more

I am so so confused at the moment. So for about 2ish years I have been battling social anxiety by myself. Like I am completely alone. I really struggle to open up to people, I just don’t have anyone around me who I feel comfortable talking to except my running coach. Anyway so long story short I finally texted him after 2 years of hesitation. The feeling of being so alone and cut off from everyone was just too much. So I reached out to him (it literally took everything I had in me). I talked to him about feeling so alone and that I didn’t know what to do (I didn’t mention my social anxiety because I thought that could be another conversation for another time). He was really supportive and calmed me down and made me feel there was someone else in this world I could rely on other than myself. But now I am questioning whether he cares about me and wants to help because it has been about 3-4 weeks and he still hasn’t brought it up since that night. And now I just feel stupid and back at square 1 (maybe even further back because I always told myself if things got bad I could rely on my coach to help) but now I have no one. I seriously have no idea what to do. I hate feeling this way. You know that quote everything happens for a reason? Well I am really struggling to find a reason for why this is happening to me and why it has been going for 2 years, and that when I finally build up enough courage to talk to someone, it isn’t what I thought it would be. Seriously I am so confused and frustrated. I am sick of always feeling this way and always crying myself to sleep without anyone to turn to

Struggling_mum Mum with anxiety and anger
  • replies: 6

Really hoping someone has some experience with this and can help me feel less alone. I have a very spirited 3 year old and an 11 month old, a very supportive husband and supportive family but they all live hours away. I have a long history of anxiety... View more

Really hoping someone has some experience with this and can help me feel less alone. I have a very spirited 3 year old and an 11 month old, a very supportive husband and supportive family but they all live hours away. I have a long history of anxiety (and depression) but have recently experienced episodes of anger, usually in relation to something my 3 year old son does (fairly normal 3 year old behaviour, ie Not listening and following instructions, throwing things/being rough with his sister etc). I feel so ashamed because I lose control at times and yell at him, usually causing him to cry. When it first started happening I saw a psychologist and spoke about some strategies and she felt sleep deprivation was playing a big part. The sleep deprivation isn’t as bad now but the intermittent anger is still there. I know that I become overwhelmed when I have too much going on and I usually experience the anger when both kids are unhappy/needing attention or I am trying to get them both somewhere by a certain time and my son is not cooperating and we are running late. Although I can identify these situations, I still struggle to find a way to keep myself calm. It’s like a switch is flicked and I just see red and cannot be rational in that moment. I feel like I must be the only person like this and worry that I’m going to damage my kids as a result of this problem. I have never ever hit them and I don’t feel I am at risk of this but I have slammed doors and occasionally thrown something across the room (they were not at risk of being hit). I know walking away is one strategy but this is not ideal as the situation often requires me to address my 3 year olds behaviour and keep my baby safe. However, I need to be in control of myself to help him and to model appropriate behaviour. I cannot understand why I cannot maintain my composure in these situations. I have always been known for being a very calm and patient person at work and feel like a fraud because my colleagues would be astounded and disgusted at what sometimes happens at home. (note: this is not a daily occurrence).

Karlsbad Med free for the first time in 3 years
  • replies: 2

My dr told me that takeing a small dose of anxiety medication was having a placebo effect and to wean myself off. I have successfuly done done this and now three weeks later I am feeling angry, depressed, sad and heightened emotions I want to stick t... View more

My dr told me that takeing a small dose of anxiety medication was having a placebo effect and to wean myself off. I have successfuly done done this and now three weeks later I am feeling angry, depressed, sad and heightened emotions I want to stick this med free period out, for as long as I can but, at what cost! My husband is walking on eggs shells My kids whisper to not make me upset I feel utterly defeated! I hope this anger and depression passes soon so that I can enjoy this period of time without being on medication!

Biankka Anxiety and Nausea
  • replies: 1

I'm am currently battling with anxiety and often feel quiet queezy in the stomach which makes me feel like I need to be sick... I have been sick for soo long on a regular basis with an unknown diagnosis which is causing me to have anxiety attacks whe... View more

I'm am currently battling with anxiety and often feel quiet queezy in the stomach which makes me feel like I need to be sick... I have been sick for soo long on a regular basis with an unknown diagnosis which is causing me to have anxiety attacks when I worry about being sick (even if I am not at the time) I am getting married in exactly 3 months and I am battling serious paranoia that I will not make it on my wedding day if i worry about being sick or stressed soo much I make myself sick... I need some serious help pleaseeeee!!!