Anxiety

Guilt about taking sick leave for mental illness

replies: 9

Hi Peeps, I've struggled on and off with anxiety and depression since my teens. It took until my mid 30s before getting any treatment and starting to understand that it's an illness that needs to be treated, not a character flaw or weakness. I've nee... View more

Hi Peeps, I've struggled on and off with anxiety and depression since my teens. It took until my mid 30s before getting any treatment and starting to understand that it's an illness that needs to be treated, not a character flaw or weakness. I've needed medication and psychology on and off over the years and have been doing both for the past six months, however my Anxiety has sky-rocketed over the past month and has got to the point where I am too frightened to go to work, too panicked to go to my hobbies and nearly having a melt-down if I have to go to the supermarket. I have not been this bad for 20 years and previously, I would have just thrown in my job and left town - pulled a geographical and run away. This time, I'm trying to deal with things like a grown-up. I've spent six months working with a psychologist to find sensible ways to deal with my condition - it's obviously something I'm going to have for life and I'd like to deal with it in ways that don't cause me to throw away jobs and relationships etc. So, I've done the grown-up thing and told my boss that I may need extended time off work for a medical condition, pending my next doctor's appointment. My partner is incredibly proud of me for finally stopping trying to fight on through the crazy and taking time off to get better. My problem is that I feel so incredibly guilty for taking time off work just now. My organisation has been through an horrific time since November - a small number of staff dealing with traumatised clients - they're all tired and struggling, and it should be my turn to step up and lighten the load. I am struggling to convince myself that I'm taking time off because I've been sick since September and just can't keep going - but my brain keeps trying to tell me that I've failed to step up when it's a stressful workplace and people need me. I emotionally feel that if I could have hung on for another few weeks, I could have done my part to get us out of crisis, and not left my exhausted colleagues having to cover for me. I am trying to convince myself that mental illness is no different to physical illness and I would never expect someone to come to work with a broken leg or pneumonia but I find it difficult to use the comparison because a broken leg or pneumonia has obvious start/finish dates and recognisable symptoms - whereas it's much harder to differentiate Anxiety from normal stress. I guess I KNOW I have a mental illness but when is it 'an episode' versus just me not being able to cope with life? Any help or wisdom appreciated.

Overthinking

replies: 3

Hello lovely people, from whatever part of the world you are from I hope you are having or have had a great day. Recently I’ve been working through a patch of intense overthinking, from future, to friends, relationships and even worrying about overth... View more

Hello lovely people, from whatever part of the world you are from I hope you are having or have had a great day. Recently I’ve been working through a patch of intense overthinking, from future, to friends, relationships and even worrying about overthinking, aka overthinking overthinking. I have had my battles and acceptance with anxiety in the past and present, so I have strategies in place and much knowledge. But I thought I’d be brave and try something different from my usual support. Basically what I’m trying to say is I would love to hear any advice, experiences, tips or tricks from anyone who has experienced anything similar. And ofcourse to whoever is reading this know that you are loved, and make this world better and more special simply by existing

Suspected ADHD?

replies: 2

I know it's impossible to tell without an official diagnosis, but in my research of trying to figure out why I've always felt different or broken it's seeming increasingly likely that I have undiagnosed ADHD. I guess I just want someone elses opinion... View more

I know it's impossible to tell without an official diagnosis, but in my research of trying to figure out why I've always felt different or broken it's seeming increasingly likely that I have undiagnosed ADHD. I guess I just want someone elses opinion on whether this is a likely possibility, before I pursue the long and expensive task of trying to get an official diagnosis. I am not currently seeing a psychologist or GP for my mental health (but probably should be; it's just too expensive), however back when I was in school I was diagnosed with OCD, anxiety and panic attacks. I've never considered myself hyperactive (more shy and quiet) and achieved excellent marks in school so I didn't even think ADHD was a possibility previously. That said, I'm going to list some signs below that seem to fit with symptoms I have found for ADHD. # Frequent daydreaming. # I find making decisions (even small inconsequential ones) very difficult and stressful. It took me nearly a year to choose a new tablet when I was looking to replace my 7yr old iPad Air (only to buy an Air 4 because it was most similar). # Inability to sit still (again I don't consider myself hyperactive, but I usually shake or bounce my leg when sitting, or fiddle with my hands) # I prefer sitting on my feet, or with my knees up than sitting properly. # I constantly fidget with jewelry or my hands when speaking to anyone. If I'm really nervous I will sometimes pinch my palm repeatedly to the point where it leaves red marks. # I can make eye contact, but I generally look at peoples hair or mouths instead because staring into their eyes makes me uncomfortable. # Any kind of negative feedback (even constructive criticism) makes me unreasonably embarassed and upset. # I am almost incapable of completing one task at a time. I end up noticing other things and switching tasks halfway through. # I frequently multitask to the extent that seems strange to other people. Eg when working on TAFE assignments I would be singing, researching (reading) and then writing an essay without having to stop the song. # I struggle with procrastination and will avoid doing things until I have to. This also extends to being unable to start doing things I enjoy. # I will often forget to eat/drink if I am concentrating on something. # I have social anxiety and find it very difficult to connect with people or form lasting friendships. # High pain tolerance? I'm not sure as pain is very subjective... Does this sound like ADHD? Or is it anxiety?

How do I control my fear and panic?

replies: 7

I have a sister who is a kind and beautiful soul. She quite literally does not hurt flies. She suffers from terrible anxiety and depression and it was recently suggested that she had undiagnosed ADHD which would make sense. She was in a health facili... View more

I have a sister who is a kind and beautiful soul. She quite literally does not hurt flies. She suffers from terrible anxiety and depression and it was recently suggested that she had undiagnosed ADHD which would make sense. She was in a health facility sometime ago and because friendly with another patient. She went into the other patient's room one night and sat on her bed chatting. Then she went back to her room. The other patient has accused her of rape. There is simply no way my sister did this. She is heterosexual. She is gentle and compassionate. She does not have a predatory bone in her body. Her trial is coming up. We are all terrified. Our father died 3 months ago. We are grieving. Our mother is elderly. We're scared of losing my sister too. We're scared of something awful happening to her. I can't sleep. I just want to cry all the time. I'm on anxiety medication but I have constant anxiety and feelings of panic. I have 3 young kids. I haven't told anyone including my husband because it's not my story and she's so mortified. I'm scared of her being judged by people who don't know or understand her. How do I get through this?

Difference between Anxiety & Angst

replies: 2

Hi. I have been diagnosed with GAD by psychiatrist . My psychologist told me that i have angst. What is the difference.

Does my anxiety and position in life make me undatable?

replies: 13

Hello everyone, This is a bit of a different post but I'm looking for opinions from people that may have been in/are in a similar position and people who share similar struggles. I often feel quite lonely and have been single for about 1-2 years. I h... View more

Hello everyone, This is a bit of a different post but I'm looking for opinions from people that may have been in/are in a similar position and people who share similar struggles. I often feel quite lonely and have been single for about 1-2 years. I have a longing for companionship and love, but I haven't even begun looking, and he's why - I'm 24 now, and feel extremely behind in life. I'm on benefits, I don't work because of anxiety, I don't have my license, tho that and my anxiety are things I'm working on. I think I'm a nice person with lots of love to give, but I feel like anyone would look at these things and not want to give me a chance. I would give someone a chance in my position, but I worry most if not all people won't feel the same. I hope to hear from some of you and hear what you think. Thank you for reading

I don’t have any friends

replies: 3

Ever since I can remember I have had a hard time making and then keeping friends. This issue worsened after leaving highschool, into both working full time and university. I have found that trying to make friends and then keeping them has been so inc... View more

Ever since I can remember I have had a hard time making and then keeping friends. This issue worsened after leaving highschool, into both working full time and university. I have found that trying to make friends and then keeping them has been so incredibly draining for me. I find it tiring having to put on a face for people, having to smile and act happy when in reality I’m exhausted and my social battery is already on -5789%. I feel broken, because on one hand I really want a friend to hang out with and chat with. But there is another part of me that doesn’t have the energy to contribute into any friendships. I also find it hard to trust people, which usually leads to me ghosting on people. When people make one single mistake I tend to run and hide because my past friends have bullied me and made me the butt of the joke. Does anyone else have a similar experience? I’d like to know if I’m alone in this feeling or not. stella (20F)

Betrayed by life in Canberra

replies: 1

When thinking about my younger years, I felt that me and kids from school, were surrounded by the armours of protections, love, and high importance. We had an army of teachers, family to make sure that our life is saved from brutality, immorality, an... View more

When thinking about my younger years, I felt that me and kids from school, were surrounded by the armours of protections, love, and high importance. We had an army of teachers, family to make sure that our life is saved from brutality, immorality, and cruelty. The naive sense of trust, that other people intentions are innocent, and people are wishing me well and are not going to cause any harm, often betrayed me. And keeps betraying me to these days. Everything then, was forgiven by adults. The students who failed exams were given another chance, the once who were lost in the city, were always picked up and delivered home. My cognitive abilities, decency have never been questioned. I would never think that life will deceive me even further, when lured by someone promising me paradise and place in the world to elevate my poor, disadvantage existence to better standard of living and safer place to raise children. Because the grass is greener on the other side.Again, I felt betrayed, betrayed when I have been downsized to someone inferior, who needs to build herself from the scratch. And all things I was taking for granted, self-worth, my acquired education, sense of humor place in group and in society. All of these has been taken away and replaced by the baby steps crawling towards the identity, I took for granted. My new self has been replaced with increments of contexts and doubts. Wearing different ensembles, hats, and resonating reflections. I learnt that every building block, cost me lots of work, effort and there is never the point when, something has been achieved for good. That this society structure, wants me to fit into mould, formed by expectation of functional scenarios. That, the little girl in me will never be visible or heard by anyone, as there is no longer anyone interested, or wanting to know her or have laugh with her. That perhaps, to better adjust to my projections, I must forget about her. She may emerge out of closet, when you going to speak, with your old friends or with your mum. But now, the landscape if quite raw, and you must show your resilience. Show that you know how to blend in. In one of the workplaces, I heard, that I should not ask for working from home - “Look at the kids, they are like little sponges, absorbing everything, you should be like them” My all-working life behind the façade of stiff politeness, people were putting rocks on my path. I stopped even asking why, but the fairy dream of godmother of kindness, goodwill has evaporated. No one would offer to rescue me, to be more understanding of my flaws. Contrary, there was no appreciation of hard work and unfair treatments from employers and harsh judgment with loathing my credibility or rights to have a job or human voice. On the surface, all was very appropriate with assistance of lip service and empty hostile shell inside. I felt betrayed.When I go to sleep, I am in another realm. All is safe and good up there. Reality scares me.

Cognitive issues due to anxiety? Or just dumb?

replies: 13

So for the past year or two ive had really bad cognitive issues, with my memory, concentration, decision-making, everything... I work in a casual hospitality job, which I enjoy very much most of the time, however I am sometimes a little absent-minded... View more

So for the past year or two ive had really bad cognitive issues, with my memory, concentration, decision-making, everything... I work in a casual hospitality job, which I enjoy very much most of the time, however I am sometimes a little absent-minded- despite trying my hardest- and people get annoyed at me. My confidence is at an all time low, and in spite of that i still have nothing against constructive criticism, however something that upsets me immensely is when you make a mistake and another person makes you feel like an idiot for it. Although ive had a pretty good life overall- despite mental health struggles for years- there have been a few people who have this way of reacting. It was happening a lot at work, and obviously when it does it makes me make even MORE mistakes because then i get even more flustered and doubtful. But they make degrading comments or look at you like you're stupid, and i dont think its because they are being mean necessarily, but i think they do it without realizing the effect it can have on some people. I dont react anymore, as they are unwilling to look at it from another perspective, but it takes so much out of me. It seems to happen a lot with these people when there are others around. So you can imagine its embarrassing for your struggling cognition to be brought to everyone's attention like that. Im really extremely sick of myself. I hate me so much and im not suicidal but im tired of trying and never being enough. This happened again last night, and I was even having such a good day- where I was keeping myself busy, did a bit of study before work, and tried to keep a positive attitude throughout the day. I was smiling, having engaging conversations with people, and then I make a mistake where I forgot to give an order to a customer for a few minutes because I got distracted attending some tables. I came back, and he started talking loudly (almost yelling) and telling me "why didn't you do this?" "You should have given the order, whats wrong with you?" I told him im sorry and i forgot, but he kept going on and on about it, talking to me like i made the biggest mistake in the world. I went silent and later on he kept asking if i was okay... I said I was fine and continued with whatever i was doing. I dont know what the point of this was. Forgetfulness, lack of concentration, easily distracted, can't think clearly. I feel dumb and stupid. If this is just who I am, I don't want to be this anymore.

Update on discrimination of ADHD in workplace

replies: 3

After my stigmatisation by public service as outcast with adhd, I am pushed more and more to the edge of society. Since then I had two non for profit jobs. I alway look for jobs, but they do not last long, regardless of hard effort and no issues with... View more

After my stigmatisation by public service as outcast with adhd, I am pushed more and more to the edge of society. Since then I had two non for profit jobs. I alway look for jobs, but they do not last long, regardless of hard effort and no issues with performance. I had a 2 FWC cases and one is pending claiming general protection disability discrimination. Do not understand dismissal decisions for these government jobs. When each dismissal is putting me and my daughter into spiral of poverty and violence. Giving me next job by government by goodie organisation followed by very far fetched, explanation about dismissing me, can only trigger aggression from my partner, who with unproductive, useless women is more and more incline to vent all anger and use me as punching bag. My daughter could end up homeless and living in poverty if this adhd or as they call adhd - addict witch-hunt continues.

Pinned discussions

Forums etiquette: give support to receive support

replies: 0

All discussions