- Beyond Blue Forums
- Mental health conditions
- Anxiety
- I'm spiraling, I think I am anyway. don't want to ...
Options
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Mark Topic as New
- Mark Topic as Read
- Pin this Topic for Current User
- Follow
- Printer Friendly Page
I'm spiraling, I think I am anyway. don't want to self diagnose
Options
- Mark as New
- Follow Post
- Mute
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Report Post
16-04-2024
07:35 PM
I don't really know anymore. I'm currently in high school and things are (to be honest) the best they've EVER been for me, even back when I was like 4 life seemed to suck. My dad was mildly abusive it's not like he beat me everyday but he would yell a lot and hit us on occasion though only because he's diabetic and bad with his sugar levels, and in the past my school life had always sucked, bad grades, only ever one friend (before highschool), and I got bullied CONSTANTLY, it got to the point that I made a rumor and supported a rumor about myself essentially having a 'cheese touch' just so people would leave me the fuck alone, even developed mild psychosis as I started seeing things that weren't there and got these horrific nightmares that would range from my mother dying and being forced to live without her or just a straight up gore fest.
anyway, my point is, it was bad, very bad. I KNOW that, but now that things are better, I have friends and only see my dad on occasional supervised visits, I just feel so, so, so off... I cry at things I feel I really shouldn't, and now whenever something happens I just hide away, I even ignore my friends for like long periods of time, which I can't get... Younger me would have loved 5 people (at least) to have friends like I do now yet whenever something happens I shrivel up and can't talk to them, then when I am ready to chat again it's been 4 days zero contact and showing up suddenly without any excuse would seem rude so I either don't or lie my ass off so they don't suspect anything and it feels so, so wrong! I end up breaking my back to make it up to them by helping them with school now that I get good grades but even then! All I end up doing to quell this sinking pit is indulge in mindless entertainment to not think about things and I end up thinking about how unproductive I am.
This is getting long, OOF! but, I just need to know if there are any strategies I can do to stop this? I don't want to go insane again, because funny things is, once it happens you're completely unaware until after the fact...
p.s, I'd prefer if 'talk to someone' isn't recommended I know really well how emo that sounds but, really, that's what I'm doing this for, so I can ramble to people without them having to know me.
anyway, my point is, it was bad, very bad. I KNOW that, but now that things are better, I have friends and only see my dad on occasional supervised visits, I just feel so, so, so off... I cry at things I feel I really shouldn't, and now whenever something happens I just hide away, I even ignore my friends for like long periods of time, which I can't get... Younger me would have loved 5 people (at least) to have friends like I do now yet whenever something happens I shrivel up and can't talk to them, then when I am ready to chat again it's been 4 days zero contact and showing up suddenly without any excuse would seem rude so I either don't or lie my ass off so they don't suspect anything and it feels so, so wrong! I end up breaking my back to make it up to them by helping them with school now that I get good grades but even then! All I end up doing to quell this sinking pit is indulge in mindless entertainment to not think about things and I end up thinking about how unproductive I am.
This is getting long, OOF! but, I just need to know if there are any strategies I can do to stop this? I don't want to go insane again, because funny things is, once it happens you're completely unaware until after the fact...
p.s, I'd prefer if 'talk to someone' isn't recommended I know really well how emo that sounds but, really, that's what I'm doing this for, so I can ramble to people without them having to know me.
1 Reply 1
Options
- Mark as New
- Follow Post
- Mute
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Permalink
- Report Post
19-04-2024
02:31 PM
Hi there,
Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing what has been going on for you. Being in High School can be a really difficult time and we can hear you’ve been through some difficult situations. We’re really glad you could come and share this here, it’s not an easy thing to do and we really admire you doing so.
We know you've mentioned you'd prefer not to talk to someone, it's totally valid to feel this way. Sometimes it takes time to work through things but we wanted to let you know that if you decide you'd like to speak to someone we are always here on 1300 22 4636 to talk things through with the lovely counsellors there. We've attached our website and a few others that may be helpful, we have some good tips on there that you might be interested in. A few more options are KidsHelpline on 1800 55 1800 (their website has some great tips regarding school stress), Lifeline on 13 11 44, and Headspace on 1800 650 890. All of these options are also available through webchat, if you'd prefer:
Hopefully, you’ll hear from this lovely community soon. Maybe you could help them along by letting us know what kind of support you have at the moment, and if anyone around you is helpful or understanding with how you’re feeling? Try and be kind to yourself during this time.
Kind regards,
Sophie M
Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing what has been going on for you. Being in High School can be a really difficult time and we can hear you’ve been through some difficult situations. We’re really glad you could come and share this here, it’s not an easy thing to do and we really admire you doing so.
We know you've mentioned you'd prefer not to talk to someone, it's totally valid to feel this way. Sometimes it takes time to work through things but we wanted to let you know that if you decide you'd like to speak to someone we are always here on 1300 22 4636 to talk things through with the lovely counsellors there. We've attached our website and a few others that may be helpful, we have some good tips on there that you might be interested in. A few more options are KidsHelpline on 1800 55 1800 (their website has some great tips regarding school stress), Lifeline on 13 11 44, and Headspace on 1800 650 890. All of these options are also available through webchat, if you'd prefer:
Hopefully, you’ll hear from this lovely community soon. Maybe you could help them along by letting us know what kind of support you have at the moment, and if anyone around you is helpful or understanding with how you’re feeling? Try and be kind to yourself during this time.
Kind regards,
Sophie M
