23yr Bad Anxiety

[Veronica]

Hi I’m new to this platform. I’m 23 years old suffering from bad anxiety and this year had been particularly hard for me and everything seems to be going downhill. I went to college and studied biotechnology with biopharma as I loved science but dropped out this year while only having a few months left to complete my degree due to severe burnout and anxiety and also realizing I didn’t enjoy it after placement at a corporate company. I decided I’m going to work anywhere just to earn some money. Went into an accounting admin job in February and only lasted two weeks the people were rude and didn’t want to train me properly I felt stupid and anxious cried everyday going home. But thought maybe this wasn’t the fit. My dog of 15 years also passed away shortly after which made matter worse. Shortly after I was lucky enough to get a position at a food company my mom works at as a food safety officer. Realized that a big part of my role will be to make sure people are doing everything correctly and give out to them (nicely) if they are not. My nature didn’t allow this my anxiety didn’t allow this the leads where rude and always turned me down when trying to talk to them or walked away. Everytime I had to go on the production floor I would fall into a panic attack everyone was looking and and three looks which made my heart race. Another part of my job was admin. But I couldn’t take it and my anxiety made me resign yesterday after three weeks I feel like a failure. My mom text me saying that the manager offered me to strictly just stick with admin work but I don’t think I can face going back. I don’t want to dissapoint her and my guilt is telling me to go back even thought I feel severely anxious about it I feel so stupid and unemployed but yet again I feel like I may have jumped to fast into the world of work after dropping out of college and just need time to get professional help and time to heal. I work weekends as a gymnastics coach and have for the last 7 years love it and I love working with the children. I also started doing nails on the side which I also enjoy I’m thinking of starting a childcare course from September but feel like I’ll be wasting a year not earning much and I’m also afraid that my anxiety will still be as bad and won’t allow me to work. It gets so bad sometimes that I can make myself believe I have something.I also don’t want to disappoint my mom  not going back to that job but I really can’t face going there after everything. 

[Sophie_M]

Hi Veronica, 

Welcome to the forums and thank you for your bravery and openness in sharing here. It’s a really good place to have come to hear from others. We’re really sorry to hear you’ve been going through difficulties with anxiety, it can be an exhausting and frustrating experience but we think sharing here is a great step towards feeling better.  

It sounds like you are going through a transition period and it can be hard to figure out our next steps when our mind is racing. It sounds like you have some great ideas about the future using activities you already enjoy whether that's childcare or doing nails. We understand that your past employment experiences haven't been positive, we're sorry to hear that but often finding the right job can be trial and error. It's easy to beat ourselves up over past experiences but please know you did the best you could at the time and you will find where you fit.

If you want to talk through what you’re feeling at any time, the Beyond Blue Support Line is here for you 24/7 on 1300 22 4636, or online here. It’s ok to reach out when you’re feeling anxious or upset, they can talk you through some ways to find a bit of calm, and then help you to figure out some options for further support.  We’re sure we’ll hear from the lovely community soon, but in the meantime, here’s some strategies you might like to have a look at it. Often with anxiety, we engage in negative self-talk which can make anxiety worse, you may have heard of these tips in the past but they may be helpful: 

• Another thread where the community have shared some strategies for managing anxiety 
• Beyond Blue Article: When your inner critic is giving you a tough time 

Thanks again for sharing. We’re here to listen and offer support, and you never know how your story might help someone else. 

Kind regards, 

Sophie M