So this has been going on and off for a few days now, I've had 4 marjor brain surgeries it affects my life a lot, my mum gave up her career to look after me and sometimes she says I gave up my career for you she says it like it's my fault, she's been calling me a bitch for no reason, she's been very mad at me for no reason it's just her behaviour, when she has an argument with me she always finds a way to win and finds ways to put me down a lot. This is getting to a point now where I'm just gonna lose it and just run away, she's been treating me like shit lately and I don't know what's going on in her life but I hate it when she takes it out on me. I feel like such a burden to her :,(
I feel that you and your mother have both been through a lot. I can not imagine how hard it has been for you to have 4 major surgeries .I think your mum has been through a lot and is obviously very stressed, To see your daughter suffering like you have is very hard for a parent.
Have both of you had any counselling? It is difficult that you feel like a burden . I feel that you have both through such a lot and may need to talk about how you are feeling.
We both have never had counselling together before, I've been to counselling at youth focus before I'm thinking about going back there and speaking to them again. What I don't know what to do is how to stop my mum putting me down in an argument like if I say something to her on how I feel she keeps blaming me and then she yells at me more it's really hard to stop her doing that
As a mother I know sometimes when a mother is stressed she may take it out on her children. Has your mum ever had counselling on her own. it sounds like she has her own problems .
When she starts blaming you how do you react? Do you argue back, or stay silent or move away?
Are there times when she is calm and kind to you or is she always putting you down?
I stay silent a lot when she does other times I say to her what is it my fault then she starts having a go at me and says it is, I tried talking to my dad once about it coz she took it out on my dad and said something that really did some damage to him she said one day your gonna wake up and find me gone out of your life and she only said that over one small argument, I tried talking to my dad about it he shut me down and I asked what's wrong with mum and he said it's us we treat her like shit and then he got annoyed at me and took it out on me by getting mad. I do admit sometimes I can be a little s*** to her and my brother and sister do but sometimes when she gets angry she takes it out on me sometimes and my dad and very rarely my brother and sister. My mum hasn't had counselling before, I haven't brought up the idea before and I'm too scared to I don't know what I should say to her like I don't want her to get upset, I just want someone to make sure she's ok coz sometimes when she's not she doesn't really talk to anyone about it
There are times when she is calm and kind to me she's not always putting me down in arguments but I've noticed lately she's been doing it a little more frequently she never did this to me she's only like done it once every few months but now it's kinda becoming daily
When she blames me I stay silent most of the time and when I try to say how i feel she yells at me and blames me again sometimes I just walk away and later she feels bad and is nice to me. I have tried talking to my dad once and he shut me down by getting angry at me I do remember once he agreed with me and told me to just say sorry anyway it's the way she sometimes is
hello Chick, having one operation on the brain is bad enough, but 4 is frightening and I'm really sorry for you, and then to be continually criticised is way out of bounds and disrespectful.
Is there someone else who can look after you, whether this means moving out of your parents maybe an option. Geoff.
