Young people

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New to this Forum? Please read this first!

replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

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Constant jealousy and possessiveness over boyfriend.

replies: 7

Hello to whoever has clicked onto this thread. I’m an 19 year old female who has been with her boyfriend since February 2019. I don’t know where to start. These things are hard to put into words. We have a good relationship. He treats me well and respects me at all times. Just at the beginning of our relationship we did have some ups and downs. We had people trying to get between us and it caused some arguments. Fast forward a couple months and we are happy and in a healthy relationship. We love each other so much and all is well. This year before COVID came along, he went out one night with friends and decided to flirt with another girl. All they did was flirt but it ruined everything. I haven’t been able to trust him the same. We have spoken about it a million times and yes he regrets it so much and swears black and blue he would never do it again. Technically he didn’t physically cheat but I see it as him emotionally cheating on me. He seeked the attention of another woman and I just can’t understand why. If you knew the two of us you would never think we would hurt each other because we truly are in love and seem like the happiest and strongest couple ever. It’s just since then, I’ve become possessive and I hate it. I’m continuously jealous. I try to avoid watching movies with decent looking girls in it because I don’t want him to “check them out”, I get super jealous when I see him liking photos of other girls on Instagram (I’ve spoken to him about this and he has stopped it but I know he still does it here and there), I feel sick at the thought of him thinking someone else is better than me, I continuously try to change myself so he will always want me, and there’s so much more. I’ve had to delete social media because I always go on his account and see him following all these new girls full of Botox and it just makes me feel so sh*tty and makes me feel like I need to change myself all the time. I continuously cry over this because I hate feeling and being like this. Ive even started to have dreams of him physically cheating on me and it kills me!!!! I’ve become a toxic person and it’s gotten to the point where the way I’m feeling is absolutely ridiculous and I feel stupid for even telling him half the things I’m feeling. I just want to get better. I hate being like this. I hate constantly being jealous and possessive. I just love him so much and I don’t want to lose him to someone else.

New here and just want to let out some thoughts

replies: 24

Hi, As I’ve mentioned this is my first time posting on a forum. Um, so I just wanted to talk about mood swings and how it’s affecting my life so far. I’m at uni currently and just switched courses because my previous one made me so miserable, mostly because of my fluctuating mood. I couldn’t bring myself to do much work on most days because my mind was filled with thoughts about how I don’t deserve to be there and how I’m not capable enough. I should probably mention that I have experienced these thoughts for many years and have had mood swings for the same amount. I initially chalked it down to hormones seeing how it coincided with my teenage years but later on I began to think that maybe that’s not it. At one point in the last few years, I found myself attending therapy where I was diagnosed with mild depression. My main concern is with my studies, because I’ve become avoidant of my responsibilities towards my degree because well... it scares me. I want to go on to study educational psychology myself in the future (hopefully) but my mental health may become an issue as it’s stood in the way of my passion before. I really would like to get better but I just don’t know how. If anyone could share strategies that have worked for them or someone they know I’d greatly appreciate it.

Body dysmorphic disorder

replies: 3

I need help. If anyone here has suffered from body dysmorphia, please tell me things you did to get better. I can’t even look at myself without crying.

I’m not sure what wrong

replies: 1

Hi everyone! It my first time posting here because I’m not sure what to do. April this year I started getting headaches throughout the day. They were annoying but I could keep doing normal stuff and work. After they persisted for over 6 weeks I took my self off to my GP. My GP ran blood tests, sent me for blood pressure monitoring (it was a bit high), checked my heart, kidneys. And then finally sent me for a head CT and by this point I started feeling nauseous throughout the day. The week it took for the results to get back I noticed I lost nearly 10kgs possibly due to feeling sick. The CT results came back crystal clear (thank god) and I mentioned that I had been feeling sick and he then sent me for an abdomen CT, not so lucky this time around, the results showed “thickening in the bowel wall” and my GP sent me back to a gastroenterologist who sent me to hospital for a camera (both ends lol - sorry) this took nearly a month to happen and during this time I was a mess, crying on the shower floor, deflated, I was so convinced that I had bowel cancer or something major. A Month passed and the cameras came back all clear, visually (still waiting for the biopsy results) while waiting for the camera I started to shake in my hands and feet at random times. I went back to my GP and he told me that “I just need to chill and relax” and told me to come back in 6 months. I went off to see another doctor for a second opinion and I’ve developed a new symptom of tingling hands and feet (random times), she sent me for some blood tests to check for auto immunity issues and just to be sure referred me to a rheumatologist, my mum has auto immune issues, yet to have the appointment. And now I’m sitting here waiting for results on Monday thinking that maybe the headaches started as a bit of stress and then all the possible medical issues triggered anxiety that I can’t shake. I’ve never been an anxious person before either. I guess I want to know if I ask my GP for something to stop it will they give it to me on the spot, I’ve been feeling like this for over 6 months and it’s affecting my life and I need some relief. Now I’m left with headaches still, shaking hands/feet, I’m always tired, I hardly sleep and I feel like I’m fixating on my health. But I honestly feel like there is something wrong with me either mentally or physically. Thats my story.

I'm the weird one out there

replies: 2

anyone can relate them being the left-out one/ background friend in a group? I'm a new immigrant from Asia and have been in Australia for nearly a year. Because in my homeland we don't speak English frequently, or maybe it's just my English level is below average, i often can't express what i truly want to say. when my classmates are starting interesting conversations, i tried to engage in it by speaking a few words or giving some reactions. but it turns out i'm the one ruining the vibe. it becomes awkward whenever i speak and people will look at me with a face that says 'i don't understand what you're saying/ what are you doing here?'. even some international students have done a better job than me. they have the good social skills that i don't have and manage to fuse into a friend group within a week or 2. this doesn't work for me. it has almost been a year, and it seems that i don't have someone i could call as a 'true friend'. from the next week onwards i will be going back to school, and struggling during every lesson, recess and lunchtime to find someone to talk to. some classmates, who are so kind-hearted, will try to talk to me and ask me to be groupmate during group project. i'm so thankful for them for not letting me feel left-out, but at the same i feel extremely guilty, because they could have partnered their close friends. they could have spent their time happily with friends joking around, but instead, they choose me. i feel i have to at least not being that boring, but my mind goes blank every time. the conversation turns out to be dull and didn't last for long. when i realize that i could have made a joke afterwards, it's always too late.

everything is becoming so much

replies: 3

hi everyone, hope you all had a great day i dont really know how to start this but i really need help and support with something in my life right now i have really bad depression, it kind of comes and goes like waves but i recently have had a really bad depressive episode. i didn't ever want to get out of bed and i didn't want to go out at all, instead trying to get myself out this hole i found myself in, i turned to abusing drugs instead to cope with the pain. over a 2 week period i was constantly drunk, stoned, never sober. the drugs gave me this false sense of happiness and sercuity which i dont really have in my life right now. im trying to stop using doing drugs but it is so so hard when all you want is that high, im still struggling but idk who to talk to about this i hate the person i've become i want to change not only for myself but the others around me, but i dont know how to stop any advice or support would be appreciated

I feel different

replies: 1

I don’t really know how to start this but here goes nothing. I have recently started uni after graduating high school last year. I did well in high school, nothing amazing but I got into the course I wanted. I’m not good in new social situations and considered going to an online uni for the sole purpose to get an education without the stress of a new social life and environment. I have been struggling more than I had expected. I never missed high school other than for being sick and now find myself missing quiet a few lessons. I have stopped eating breakfast on most days and my personal hygiene is lower. I don’t know if this is because I’m am struggling because of a new environment, the difficult year or if there’s something more to it. Like depression, anxiety or autism. I look at symptoms and signs and find myself matching up to them. I don’t know if I am making these up or if they are really there. Or if they are as bad or as often as I think. I don’t know if I am convincing myself of these signs or if I’m convincing myself I don’t have them. I haven’t spoken to my high school friends in weeks and don’t have anyone I really talk to at uni, besides trying to small talk when someone else initiates a conversation. I also don’t have anyone that I really feel comfortable talking to and thought this might be a good place to start.

Understanding your emotions - why they’re happening

replies: 2

Do you wonder why you suddenly feel awful and you have no control over it? Have you felt fine, but then feel trapped in negativity wondering when it will end? I’ve felt this too. It’s rare for me to feel down anymore but only because I’ve paid attention to it, and worked on areas that were possible for me to change. Remember that you have reason to feel the way you do. It may be biological, or it could be other various things that changed your view on the world. Your mind in tangible. You have ability to change the way you think. If you decide to contact me, I’ll give you some answers. Hope you’re well. -Chris

Finding someone to help me.

replies: 1

Hi there, I'm just wondering if anyone knows what I could do to find someone that could help me in my situation. I've had gaps in time in my study due to bad mental health and I want to find people who could do an diagnostic assessment of past uni content. However, because I've studied an interdisciplinary area... it's not like I can find one person and a lot of tutors are uni students who only tutor in 1 thing or so and wouldn't know about diagnostic assessment. Also, I keep getting distressed. Do you know if there's any occupation that has dealings with distressed people and that could assist me in this manner re finding applicable people? Because I cannot get help from my mother because, for example, she gets distressed and talks for a long time about mental health stuff. Also my psychologist is dismissive of me. Also, I did contact the Uni Faculty about my concerns and basically I got told "do your best in your courses" like I haven't done so in the past... Like because I've done some stuff a while ago and because probably never experienced depression... I felt like they didn't understand one bit. And I have memories of struggling to do stuff re hopelessness, meaningless and concentration issues so my self esteem isn't high.

painful nostalgia feeling?

replies: 3

i feel as if whenever i get nostalgic about something, i end up feeling quite anxious and upset? one example of this is last year i got invited (out of courtesy) to a former best friend's birthday party. the two of us were best friends for a few years but drifted due to now going to separate schools and not seeing each other all the time. her friends from her school made her a video from all of them wishing her a happy birthday and she seemed to be having a really good time but the only time we spoke to each other was when i got there and we said hello to each other. i then proceeded to beg my dad for us to leave earlier (the party finished at 11; it was only about 9-9:30) and then cried almost all the way home in the back of an uber. it physically hurt that we had drifted so much that we did not talk to each other at all, when at one point in our lives we were so close that we did almost everything together flash forward to today; we were at my grandparents for mother's day and across the road from my grandparents lived family friends we have known literally since i was born. out of their family of four, three of them were now living in qld and the dad had sold the house and was moving out today to go live with the rest of the family. he invited us in one last time and immediately i was hit again with that overwhelming feeling of nostalgia and was fighting back tears the entire time i was inside i feel like every friend that i drift apart from, they manage to move on just fine, but for me, everytime i have a conversation with them or go through old text messages i feel like i'm dying inside. does anyone else feel this or is it just me? i don't have any explanation for what i am feeling and i thought maybe someone else might have an answer

New to this Forum? Please read this first! replies: 0

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

Constant jealousy and possessiveness over boyfriend. replies: 7

New here and just want to let out some thoughts replies: 24

Body dysmorphic disorder replies: 3

I’m not sure what wrong replies: 1

I'm the weird one out there replies: 2

everything is becoming so much replies: 3

I feel different replies: 1

Understanding your emotions - why they’re happening replies: 2

Finding someone to help me. replies: 1

painful nostalgia feeling? replies: 3