Young people

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Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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Forgetting how to live

replies: 5

Hi, This is the first time I have shared anything like this, but after reading the threads, I feel less abnormal and alone in my feelings. For a while I have struggled to find the motivation to do anything, so much so that I don't even recognise myself anymore. School was once my biggest priority but now, in my second year of uni, I can't seem to bring the same effort to any of my current work. Nearly every day I simply wake up, am overwhelmed by the thought of facing another day, and so distract myself by watching Youtube or Netflix until the day's over. I can only move for work. I'm so frustrated with myself because I know that I have such a great family, great friends, and the incredible opportunity to be educated, so why can't I do anything!? I'm scared of going out and seeing people, mostly because I fear what they will think when they see me. Battling an eating disorder for the last three years, I am extremely self-conscious of my body and weight; it seems impossible for me to think of anything else. When it first started, I would constantly get comments about how great I looked, and how much weight I had lost. But now, as I try to develop a healthy relationship with food, I have gained back all of the weight I have lost and more. I feel disgusted with myself and cannot escape the thought that I am worthless because I am not the image of beauty that the world tells me I should be. I have never felt so much self-hatred. I think I escape into other film and tv worlds just to imagine what it would feel like to live again. I feel like I haven't allowed myself to really live for a long time. I have this constant battle between the idea that I am not worthy enough to be alive, and the other side which tells me I am so selfish for being consumed with my own issues. I want to be there for my family and friends, and I want to be there for my community through activism and volunteering, but I just get so caught up in my own darkness. I don't know how to stop being so self-centred. I'm terrified it will be like this forever. I see a therapist regularly, but I am battling with the question of whether I should also take medication. I was prescribed antidepressants but I didn't take them as my family thought and I thought I could make it through without them. It's not working, so I think I want to give them a try. I would love to hear of some people's experiences with them if they are willing to share. There's no one I can really talk to about this. Thank you

Feeling alone and unloved in a family that is no longer mine

replies: 4

For a long time, it has been my younger Brother, Dad &myself, my Bio-Mum has some mental health problems &terrified &emotionally abused us so we moved in with my Dad full time when I was 14. My Stepmum really stepped up when we first moved in but then she started saying things like she gave up having children of her own because of us &if we had the slightest disagreement, come into one of our rooms crying, saying how much she loves us like her own, how she often just wants to kill herself because we don't love her. Going home was horrible and I would be scared to answer her calls.Dad works a lot &often takes trips away, he isn't gone for very long but he misses what's happening. I do love my Stepmum, but she is a different person half the time. When I was 18, after a really bad argument with her I stayed out of her way as much as possible &found a place to move within 2 months. Things started to get better with our relationship after that because I wasn't around all the time but I left my Brother with her. I didn't realise that all the stuff I used to go through he was now getting twice as bad. He had enough one day &wasn't old enough to move out by himself so he decided to go live with our Bio-Mum fulltime again. This really hurt my Dad because he didn't understand why, my Brother didn't want to upset him by saying it was because of our Stepmum emotionally abusing us and he was never home to stop it because at the end of the day that's his wife and he must love her. Now it's a year later and my Step-mum is pregnant. we have a complicated relationship but she is the closest thing I have to a Mum &when I came over for dinner she &told me she was excited to be a Mum for the first time &have children of her own. I feel like every time she told me she loved me like I was her own was a lie &every time she told me she considered me her daughter a lie. She looked me dead in the eye &said she was finally happy to be having her first child &how it was her own. I don't have any family, my mum&her side of the family won't talk to me, my Brother hardly talks to me &my Dads family are all dead. I feel so alone and scared, I have just lost the closest thing I have to a mum and found out that our relationship has been one big lie now that she has a child that's her blood. Should I talk to them about this or just leave it, I am being too emotional about it? I really am excited for another sibling to love and care for but I just feel so displaced and alone.

My family haven't been helping me get better

replies: 2

Hi! I feel like such a mess, this isn't my first post on this forum this week! I have a lot to vent about right now, haha. I'm 17. I have three brothers, 2 are in their 20s and one is a year younger than me. They all live at home. My oldest brother's girlfriend has been living with us for some time now, she basically moved in at the start of lockdown and has stayed ever since. I love my family and I know they love me too, even if they struggle to understand my anxiety and depression. I think because I really love my family, I find it hard to admit that they haven't always been helpful towards my mental health issues. My parents work really hard and I don't ever want to come off as ungrateful. But I think how I feel about how they've contributed to my mental health journey is something I deserve to be honest about, and it's unrelated from how grateful I am for the good things they do. I think the environment you're in really contributes to how you feel, and after years of struggling with anxiety + depression, I've began to think maybe the problem isn't me, maybe the problem is the environment I'm in and the people I'm surrounded with. I always think about escaping, like moving away to somewhere else or travelling. That kinda shows how unhappy I am at home. It's hectic living with so many people. There's yelling because some people don't get along, there's SO MUCH mess and I can't get to sleep. At 12am on any given night, all of my brothers are awake and making some sort of noise- playing video games, chatting to friends, watching TV, playing music. No matter how much I tell them to keep it down, they don't. The mess in our kitchen and living room drives me crazy. I cleaned the kitchen last week and it's already a mess now. I don't want to clean up other people's mess because it's gross and I shouldn't have to. Our house looks like a dump, and it's why I stay in my room a lot because it's the cleanest room in the house. I've expressed how unhappy the mess makes me to my parents, but they still don't do anything. I know they work full time jobs but at this stage, it's just being lazy. Even they barely clean after themselves. My little brother walks all over me and is so rude to everyone. No one (but my mum) encourages me to get better, they just put me down for being out of school. No one in my house is willing to change. I wish I could move out but it's just not possible for me, I'm sick of living this way though

Um, hi there!

replies: 3

So i have absolutely never done this kind of thing before and have no idea what to do so ill just rant about me i guess... I'm a painfully lonely 17 year old male living in a boring town full of people who pretend I don't exist, or just don't notice me. I've always been terrified of seeking help because I have lived a peaceful but utterly boring life where almost nothing tragic has happened and always though i wasn't depressed or anxious or anything it was just a phase or something. This has never been helped by the fact my twin always made fun of depressed people due to them being "attention-seeking" or "fake" so i was always afraid to speak out. But after being scolded by my one and only friend to get help here i am. Basically up until maybe 3 years ago i had been insanely sheltered and never really knew many emotions, until my first relationship where everything that could go wrong, did, and after my first heartbreak my sheltering backfired and eventually I went down a spiral of constant anxiety and sadness. Until now i just put up with it hoping it would get better at some point, but i'm beyond done and just want to be happy. SO. I have one friend and no social life, iv'e always tried to stand out as much as i can and force people to notice and remember me. This has never worked. After 12 years people still call me by my twins damn name and despite trying over and over again no one is interested in befriending me or talking to me at all. I'm utterly terrified i'm going to graduate with an entire childhood completely wasted with no chances of redemption in my adult life... So here I beg of you, dear person who just read through an annoying child's rants, how do i heal a broken heart? How do I get valuable friends who care? How do I abandon these worthless emotions that plague me? How can i get people to act like I even exist? Thank you, sorry this was so long iv'e never been good at summarising.

I feel like a disappointment

replies: 6

Ever since I entered year 9, my mental health has went down by a lot. Everyday I feel like a disappointment to my parents and my friends. I go to a school that's highly competitive in school grades and my grades are average and sometimes even below average in maths. I feel that school is one of the main reasons but even I know that it's my own fault. I'm not that popular, have good grades or excel at sports; I'm just all around average. But when I try to study for Maths I can't stop crying over how stupid I am and how I'll never be able to get into my desired university. I have a loving family and nice parents, but I don't know why I feel like this because they don't place heavy burdens on me and I feel happy with them. I have a great relationship with my friends as well but I always feel like I will disappoint them once they see my grades and my true self. I can't stop thinking about running away and quitting school but I know I can't do that because everyone will get disappointed in me. I cry over the smallest things and think about how I'm stupid almost everyday, but I can't find the motivation to do anything to reach my goals. I don't have a purpose to find in life, I don't even know what I want to do in university and afterwards. In whole, I just feel like a huge disappointment to everyone I know but I don't know why I feel this way and I'm too scared to talk to my friends and family about it. Do you guys have any advice? thank you :))

yee yee

replies: 2

hi, im very new to this site but im really enjoying helping others (or at least trying to) and reading the struggles others are going through, seeing how i can relate to many of these experiences. i want to help people and i was wondering if there wa... View more

close friend + her boyfriend

replies: 5

hi! im new here, not sure how much is over sharing, my apologies. if anyone has any advice id love to hear it! this is merely venting and wondering if my feelings are valid, i know i have a relatively good life. im young and currently only in my second year of high school. so ive been very close with this girl ever since high school started. shes liked this guy forever and they started dating recently. at first i was overjoyed for her, shes dating the guy she liked for ages! but its beginning to turn bitter. she doesnt speak to me unless she has to. she used to come over mon-thurs every second week but last time she was over there was a sort of tension in the air? im stressed with assessment and i wanted to work on an assignment that was due soon. she was upset. "maybe we could do a kahoot instead?" she seemed happy. we did a few when she asked, "can I choose one?" of course I said yes, but politely asked if we could do one that didnt include kpop (i know nothing about it so it would just be boring (maybe unfair on my part) and there would be no competition). "okay, thats fine," she says as she tries to find kpop ones. it wasnt the fact that it was kpop but that she didnt respect my wishes if that makes sense?? (im the type of person that gets walked all over constantly so it didn't feel good that the one time i asked it was completely disregarded) she got upset with me and hit me. it hurt more than anything in the world. not her hit but that she had done it, and over such an insignificant thing? back to her boyfriend. we don't really speak anymore as she acts like im not there and she only seems to care when its convenient for her. she only ever speaks to me after school, as if she doesnt want to be seen with me or shes only talking to me because theres nothing better to do. i opened up to one of my friends about it and he told some of it. she kept pressuring me to tell her, "why are you mad at me? what did i do?" getting angry with me when i told her it wasnt the right time. eventually i told her a small part of it. i know i need to tell her all of it but i want to word it properly. i dont wanna be put on the spot. i said, "it feels like you only talk to me when your boyfriend's not there," and she got defensive. her response was, "no i dont, youre wrong," it hurt that she threw my feelings away so easily. i just want her to be happy but i wish it wasnt at my expense. thank you for reading. sorry if this doesnt make sense, im running out of characters.

im never passionate about anything

replies: 5

I’ve never had any passions. i love my friends and family but i never had a hobby i enjoyed so much i wanted to turn into a career?? for example some people are very passionate about art or history or music to the point where they’d do it everyday for the rest of their life. I’ve never had a passion. not even when i was little. i feel like i never had any dreams. or maybe i did, but I’ve forgotten most of them by now. whenever i had dreams, reality hits. life isn’t a movie and i have to be realistic. for example, being a famous actress is just unrealistic and one can only dream. i could never dream because i was always told that things were “too far-fetched”. “it only happens in movies” and “it only happens to one in a million, don’t bother” are things i hear constantly. adults always choose the safest most realistic path, and i hate to say it, but i understand why and will probably do the same. its so unfortunate how little kids always have dreams, but their dreams get crushed by reality as they grow up. so many people work in boring jobs, such as being an HR manager in a finance company. i can almost be 100% sure that isn’t what they wanted to do as a kid, but yet, here they are. because they chose the safest most realistic path. money is a key part of our lives, and we always tend to choose “safe” jobs because they have steady pay. why can’t we just stop using money. why can’t we just live. and have fun? no money, no trade. and yes, i know thats unrealistic too. thinking about this has made me fall into a downward spiral because im 16 and will have to pick a college major/career path to pursue, and never having any passions has just affected me a lot. i really wish the world wasnt like this

I feel lonely and abandoned

replies: 3

Hi, So this past year I’ve been feeling pretty lonely. I’m in year 11 and have had some drama in my friend group (and I really just can’t deal with drama). When I’m sitting with my group I feel like I’m not funny enough to say anything or interesting enough to talk. At lunch we often sit in a circle and then sort of pair off into our own mini conversations but I feel like I’m never really talking to someone. I just eat my lunch in silence and then try to walk around and talk to others, to no avail though. I feel like everyone in the group just clicks and although I have sat with them for my whole school life, I have never felt like this before. It’s almost like I’m just unsatisfied with my friendships with them. Don’t get me wrong, they are great people but sometimes I feel a bit lonely when I’m with them. A particular moment that got me down recently was that in class we had to go into groups of two on a table to practice social distancing. This seemed easy enough as my friends and I had 6 people in the class, easily able to split into pairs. Yet three of them begged to stay together whilst the other two paired off with each other. My teacher gave in and said it was fine for them three to be together, but that just left me alone. Ive considered moving groups but I haven’t really found any one that I get along with as well as I did with my current group (before I felt all this). I’m also really scared of losing friends. This past year, three of my friends have left the group to sit with other people. Each time someone left, I have felt so heart broken and sick to my stomach that I would sit in the bathroom and cry. To be honest, I feel so silly that I react the way I do when I hear someone is leaving, but it’s like I get an overwhelming wave of panic each time I found out that someone is leaving the group. Sorry that this was so long, I honestly needed to rant

Uni, friends, coronavirus, and motivation

replies: 3

Hi everyone, first post here so yeah it’s a bit of a story So I started uni last year and really struggled my way through between moving to a new city and being unemployed, I also failed a couple of courses on top of that. I haven’t really made any new friends here (just a few acquaintances). This year has been a little different as my course has split into majors and I don’t know anyone in my classes anymore. On top of that I’m now too anxious to go to classes because of my poor grades and just meeting new people in general, coronavirus has made this even more difficult by moving things online. I’m really starting to question if this is the right degree for me but I don’t see myself taking any other path in life. so anyway all of this just results in me being extremely unmotivated to study which I know will just continue the cycle. Hoping there’s someone else out there with a similar experience

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

Forgetting how to live replies: 5

Feeling alone and unloved in a family that is no longer mine replies: 4

My family haven't been helping me get better replies: 2

Um, hi there! replies: 3

I feel like a disappointment replies: 6

yee yee replies: 2

close friend + her boyfriend replies: 5

im never passionate about anything replies: 5

I feel lonely and abandoned replies: 3

Uni, friends, coronavirus, and motivation replies: 3