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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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Dejena School related stress
  • replies: 77

Hi, i would like start of by saying, i dont know what im doing. i dont even know where to start because of how overwheamed i feel. how to i express my feelings without complaning? i dont want to compalian. so, its currently 4:33 AM and am trying to d... View more

Hi, i would like start of by saying, i dont know what im doing. i dont even know where to start because of how overwheamed i feel. how to i express my feelings without complaning? i dont want to compalian. so, its currently 4:33 AM and am trying to do homeowork. You may be wondering why? why at this time? well, i will tell you. its becuase the day is not for me. do u know why? its because during the day the house is loud. if i wear my headphones my ears will hurt and i will get fustrated at the noise. i also need to do chores. i dont know what im even saying. i dont even know why im writing and posting this. this just sounds silly. you know, i went to the doctor becuase my chest was hurting, and they said it was becuase of panic attacks, and that i was shaking, high blood pressure, and heart beating fast. but now im wondering if the doctor was wrong, what if it wasnt because of stress? what if it was becaue of the mask i wore for hours at school, not compaing for wearing a mask by the way. During the day my family will come into my room and intrupt me, while i try and do homework. sometimes i fell bad for taking long oding homework, and i wonder if im actullay learning something. i feel like im not good enough. if i go to the libray my parens will be annoyed at the face they have to pick me up and drop me off. i am doing 3 science subjects. i dont really like phyics or doing particularlly well it in it, so i want to change it do HHD, but then there is something in me, saying what if i will able to do phyics and not fail, and if i drop phyicis that not good enough, im not good enough, i am worthless. at the same time i dont like phyics. IDK. tell me, am i overreacting. You know, after that doctors apointment, i cried in the car, while my dad was in it, because i felt like i was crazy and out of control. alsot the doc said i was skinny, hoever i have allways been ksinny, no matter how much i eat i dont gain weight and i also look younger than i really am. when i have a break from doing homeowrk, i struggleto go back to my desk and get going with it after my break, i stat to procarte and how longer breaks. after i do chores, i dont feel lie doing homework sometiemes. idk if its sbecause maybe i found doing the chores as a btter option than doing homeowkrk. i feel out of control. its currently 4:50 AM. what has my life become? idk?

Val_da_man Why can't I pinpoint traits I like about others?
  • replies: 3

First post in a long time. Forgot this was here. I've been struggling with a scary concept. I can't say what I like in people, as in, I cannot tell what makes me enjoy people's company. Even my best friend of many years. I cannot physically think of ... View more

First post in a long time. Forgot this was here. I've been struggling with a scary concept. I can't say what I like in people, as in, I cannot tell what makes me enjoy people's company. Even my best friend of many years. I cannot physically think of the words to describe my feelings. When they talk badly about themselves, I feel the need to remind them I love them, but I know you'd usually want to hear something beyond just. I love you? But if I try to get to the bottom of my emotions it's empty. I don't know what I like. I can go for generic "you're funny!" comments but it feels fake. I've been watching a lot of videos about yt drama between people, just as junk food basically, but this phrase stuck to me and is making me paranoid that I'm not a good friend. Paraphrased, this person spoke about how the lack of certainty and details in the compliments someone made meant they were insincere and never liked the people they spoke about. Sorry if this is a ridiculous thing to ask. I just don't understand why I'm so dumb here. Fyi, I am seeing a psychiatrist and am on a waiting list for a psychologist. Tl;dr - Can't pinpoint positive traits to make friends feel loved, feel like I am fake/broken.

Deltius Dealing with lonliness.
  • replies: 3

Hello there, I have posted a few times on the forum and anyone who has followed my couple posts this is the result. My close friend who I have mentioned a few times has officially downgraded me to the "lowest priority friend" due to me talking to the... View more

Hello there, I have posted a few times on the forum and anyone who has followed my couple posts this is the result. My close friend who I have mentioned a few times has officially downgraded me to the "lowest priority friend" due to me talking to them as an emotional anchor (they were the only ones that would listen so I got into a terrible habit of doing it) the TLDR so to speak is this paired with assumptions and general negativity has caused them to almost completely cut me off. Now the purpose of this post is about loneliness, I have always felt lonely but now it's been 3 weeks and I have not talked to anyone other than my housemates and my parents when I visited them last weekend. The feeling is much bigger now and honestly concerning, I have been doing mediation, diary writing and other general wellbeing things such as forming morning routines and structure over the last 3 weeks and so my mood has been, sort of good but also bad. Like Good relative to my other moods but still kinda sucks. Loneliness is a key part of this feeling, I do admittedly feel it is what I deserve for not putting in more effort sooner and is the fruit of my actions especially considering this all happened to someone I care about more than most. I don't like making excuses, the reality is the only reason I am changing now is that my MH improved to the point where I could actually fight it off. Anyway, how do people deal with loneliness and find things to do. If I even think about it or hear about people having fun I feel bad and often breakdown.

CeilingJockey I don’t know what’s wrong
  • replies: 4

I don’t even know where to really start, my parents are getting divorced after being seperated for a few years and it still hurts so bad, that’s only the base line of my problems. I get caught up on such dumb stuff and it gets to me, every day is a s... View more

I don’t even know where to really start, my parents are getting divorced after being seperated for a few years and it still hurts so bad, that’s only the base line of my problems. I get caught up on such dumb stuff and it gets to me, every day is a struggle. I don’t want to get up out of bed, I just want to lay down and not wake up. I have issues with my relationship with my parents and school problems. They seem so minor but just keep piling up on me. I don’t know what’s wrong with me and why I’m so sad all the time, I hate it. It doesn’t make sense.

kindacool how do I improve my self image?
  • replies: 1

hi, I'm kinda struggling with self esteem and confidence at the moment. i do consider myself as being overweight and it is a big part of my insecurities. I do want to lose weight in a healthy way but I do kinda fall into depressive states where I can... View more

hi, I'm kinda struggling with self esteem and confidence at the moment. i do consider myself as being overweight and it is a big part of my insecurities. I do want to lose weight in a healthy way but I do kinda fall into depressive states where I can't do anything and I just binge eat. I am a sporty person, I play basketball and am considering doing some boxing. I don't know how to stay motivated and make progress. In general if anyone has any tips on how to be happier with myself and everything else that would be great.

icecreamspider I’m having trouble with friends.
  • replies: 2

I hope this is the right place to put this. Sorry if it’s not. I’ve been having issues with friends recently and i need help. This will be in two parts based on whether i consider something to be more of me or them. Some extra info: i’m a teenage gir... View more

I hope this is the right place to put this. Sorry if it’s not. I’ve been having issues with friends recently and i need help. This will be in two parts based on whether i consider something to be more of me or them. Some extra info: i’m a teenage girl. I know there’s a lot of stereotypes about people my age, but stereotypes exist for a reason and maybe i’m just being silly. So recently i’ve been feeling uncomfortable around a group of friends i’ve had for the past few years. As of writing this the two week holidays are in two days and i’m hoping they’ll fix some things, but here’s some reasons i thought of that may relate to why i’m uncomfortable around them: Me: I’m noticing little things about them that are getting more and more on my nerves. I know this sounds selfish but whenever i find something new to enjoy like a tv show, one friend likes to start watching it too and finishes it before me. Again i know it sounds stupid but i feel like i can’t have anything for myself. This is specific to only a few people but i’ve had some bad experiences with some of them. The first time i met one of them he threatened me. He has also told me in the past that i can’t be sad because i haven’t experienced his life. And when i came out as aromantic to another of them, he told me i just hadn’t found the right person yet. Them: it’s obvious who they value most as a friend in the group. When he’s not where he usually is they’ll call him and ask where he went, but when i’m missing nobody cares. I’m sure anyone would say it’s a bad feeling. I think i need some time away from them, but the one who causes the most discomfort is in five of my eight classes, and sits next to me in most of them. They’re also right next to where i sit for lunch and recess, and i feel like i can’t get away. I know this stuff all sounds really insignificant but it’s been piling up and i don’t know what to do. Even if nobody has any idea as to what i should do, it felt good to just be able to tell someone.

Willowtree_21 Chronic illness while being young
  • replies: 2

Has anyone else had issues with being chronically ill? I got a whole bunch during my mid teen years (still dealing with them late teens) Lately, I’ve just felt so tired of having to hide it to be successful. I’m exhausted by it. My job kinda makes it... View more

Has anyone else had issues with being chronically ill? I got a whole bunch during my mid teen years (still dealing with them late teens) Lately, I’ve just felt so tired of having to hide it to be successful. I’m exhausted by it. My job kinda makes it difficult to discuss without losing work. Would just love to hear other stories.

Guest_236 trauma-induced self-sabotaging tendencies are affecting my relationship again. Help?
  • replies: 2

Hi there! I'll get straight into it. 4 years ago I was in an emotionally neglectful relationship. That was the year I experienced my lowest point (thus far). I was heavily depressed, s*lf h*rming and s**cidal... And I received little to no support fr... View more

Hi there! I'll get straight into it. 4 years ago I was in an emotionally neglectful relationship. That was the year I experienced my lowest point (thus far). I was heavily depressed, s*lf h*rming and s**cidal... And I received little to no support from my boyfriend at the time, but would have a mental breakdown every time I tried to break up. After dating for a total of almost 2 years, we broke up. Despite this, I don't resent him at all. We were young and it was both our first relationship. We grew so much from it. I wouldn't be who I am today without him, and he would say the same. I've received closure and I wouldn't trade that experience for anything. We're still good friends. Nevertheless, the trauma of being alone through the darkest time of my life is still there. It's been years and I still can't fall out of self-preserving patterns of self sabotage. It mostly affects my romantic relationships. All the ones I've had since my first boyfriend, in fact. I'd always try to "quit while I'm ahead" to keep them from hurting me, or vice versa. I'd drop everything at the first sign of things not working out. I've been dating my current boyfriend since the start of 2019. He has the most beautiful heart. He's caring and empathetic and funny and passionate and smart and selfless and genuine. He's my best friend. He's stuck by me through my many depressive seasons and countless self-sabotaging episodes. We've taken breaks to see other people or work on ourselves since then, but we always came back to each other. I really could not ask for someone more supportive. I've improved a lot over the years, but self-sabotaging tendencies have started emerging again with my recent depressive episode and the nearing of the HSC. Whenever he chooses studies over me, I feel I'm a hindrance to his goals. When he chooses me over studies, I worry that he's sacrificing his grades out of worry for me. He's trying to balance both, and would do so effortlessly if I wasn't so problematic. I've started to distance myself from him, a common self-sabotaging reaction of mine. I'm afraid this dynamic will continue into uni, especially since he's planning on studying a pretty strenuous degree. I don't want to be a liability. I don't want to ruin things again. We've talked about this. He's as supportive and reassuring as usual, and we've thought of some strategies together. But I want to try harder, because I know it's a me problem. Suggestions? Tips + tricks? #Epic life hacks?

Deltius Assumptions causing trouble
  • replies: 6

Hello again, I posted a while ago about not achieving dreams but I come with a different issue. Anyone had problems with making assumptions that tend to be wrong and cause far more issues, normally negative in nature. For example, a friend normally h... View more

Hello again, I posted a while ago about not achieving dreams but I come with a different issue. Anyone had problems with making assumptions that tend to be wrong and cause far more issues, normally negative in nature. For example, a friend normally has snap map on and I can not longer see her on snap, my brain naturally goes "well clearly she just turned it off for you specifically" but in reality, it is something like her location might just be off on her phone. To be clear, I have no reason to think why she would turn of GPS for me but my brain instantly goes there. This is a major issue I am trying to solve, I am blessed with being self-aware but it doesn't make getting rid of the issue any easier it seems. The reason for needing to fix this is it has caused and is causing friendships to be lost and reputations destroyed. Any tips are appreciated.

MoodedOut Does anyone have any advice on how to fulfill social needs without a partner?
  • replies: 2

21 year old male here, recently graduated university and working full time in the land down under. I would say I am a social person who desires frequent close contact with close friends. I don't have a girlfriend, as mentioned in the title so, it is ... View more

21 year old male here, recently graduated university and working full time in the land down under. I would say I am a social person who desires frequent close contact with close friends. I don't have a girlfriend, as mentioned in the title so, it is a bit difficult. For some background, I do have 1 or 2 close friends near me but I probably only hang out with them once or twice every two weeks (they are still in university). I have a need to socialise more than that (probably 2-3 times a week), even though I do appreciate my time spent with them. Recently, I've had an idea to do zoom calls with friends who live further away from me, who would otherwise be impractical to hang out regularly due to the distance. Even though it's not irl, I reasoned it's still a good complement to hanging out with my regular friends irl. Still need to test this idea out though. The issue is, sometimes there's periods where noone is available and I get really lonely and depressed. It used to really affect me, but I've recently been taking depression medication, so it isn't such a big deal now. However, it still does affect me in some capacity. Does anyone have any idea on how to deal with the feeling of being lonely/depressed when no-one is around? I find if I don't deal with it directly, I enter into some pretty unhealthy coping mechanisms such as drowning myself out with TV. Any help is appreciated.

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