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BeyondBlue New to this Forum? Please read this first!
  • replies: 0

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with tho... View more

Hey there! Welcome to the Young People section of the Beyond Blue Forums. The purpose of this section is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss life issues, tricky situations and the difficult emotions and feelings that come with those. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this is a space for younger people to connect and provide support for each other. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straight away. Information on moderation on the Forums can be found here. Being familiar with our Community Guidelines can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. If we have concerns about your wellbeing, one of our friendly moderators will check in with you privately to make sure you get the support you need. If you need more immediate support, we recommend reaching out to the following: Beyond Blue Support Service – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1300 22 4636 Headspace – between 9am and 1am (AEST), chat online to a mental health clinician or call 1800 650 890 Kids Helpline – any time, chat online to a counsellor or call 1800 55 1800 Thank you for being here. We’re glad you’ve found us here and hope this can be a supportive space for you Beyond Blue

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kindacool how do I improve my self image?
  • replies: 1

hi, I'm kinda struggling with self esteem and confidence at the moment. i do consider myself as being overweight and it is a big part of my insecurities. I do want to lose weight in a healthy way but I do kinda fall into depressive states where I can... View more

hi, I'm kinda struggling with self esteem and confidence at the moment. i do consider myself as being overweight and it is a big part of my insecurities. I do want to lose weight in a healthy way but I do kinda fall into depressive states where I can't do anything and I just binge eat. I am a sporty person, I play basketball and am considering doing some boxing. I don't know how to stay motivated and make progress. In general if anyone has any tips on how to be happier with myself and everything else that would be great.

icecreamspider I’m having trouble with friends.
  • replies: 2

I hope this is the right place to put this. Sorry if it’s not. I’ve been having issues with friends recently and i need help. This will be in two parts based on whether i consider something to be more of me or them. Some extra info: i’m a teenage gir... View more

I hope this is the right place to put this. Sorry if it’s not. I’ve been having issues with friends recently and i need help. This will be in two parts based on whether i consider something to be more of me or them. Some extra info: i’m a teenage girl. I know there’s a lot of stereotypes about people my age, but stereotypes exist for a reason and maybe i’m just being silly. So recently i’ve been feeling uncomfortable around a group of friends i’ve had for the past few years. As of writing this the two week holidays are in two days and i’m hoping they’ll fix some things, but here’s some reasons i thought of that may relate to why i’m uncomfortable around them: Me: I’m noticing little things about them that are getting more and more on my nerves. I know this sounds selfish but whenever i find something new to enjoy like a tv show, one friend likes to start watching it too and finishes it before me. Again i know it sounds stupid but i feel like i can’t have anything for myself. This is specific to only a few people but i’ve had some bad experiences with some of them. The first time i met one of them he threatened me. He has also told me in the past that i can’t be sad because i haven’t experienced his life. And when i came out as aromantic to another of them, he told me i just hadn’t found the right person yet. Them: it’s obvious who they value most as a friend in the group. When he’s not where he usually is they’ll call him and ask where he went, but when i’m missing nobody cares. I’m sure anyone would say it’s a bad feeling. I think i need some time away from them, but the one who causes the most discomfort is in five of my eight classes, and sits next to me in most of them. They’re also right next to where i sit for lunch and recess, and i feel like i can’t get away. I know this stuff all sounds really insignificant but it’s been piling up and i don’t know what to do. Even if nobody has any idea as to what i should do, it felt good to just be able to tell someone.

Willowtree_21 Chronic illness while being young
  • replies: 2

Has anyone else had issues with being chronically ill? I got a whole bunch during my mid teen years (still dealing with them late teens) Lately, I’ve just felt so tired of having to hide it to be successful. I’m exhausted by it. My job kinda makes it... View more

Has anyone else had issues with being chronically ill? I got a whole bunch during my mid teen years (still dealing with them late teens) Lately, I’ve just felt so tired of having to hide it to be successful. I’m exhausted by it. My job kinda makes it difficult to discuss without losing work. Would just love to hear other stories.

Guest_236 trauma-induced self-sabotaging tendencies are affecting my relationship again. Help?
  • replies: 2

Hi there! I'll get straight into it. 4 years ago I was in an emotionally neglectful relationship. That was the year I experienced my lowest point (thus far). I was heavily depressed, s*lf h*rming and s**cidal... And I received little to no support fr... View more

Hi there! I'll get straight into it. 4 years ago I was in an emotionally neglectful relationship. That was the year I experienced my lowest point (thus far). I was heavily depressed, s*lf h*rming and s**cidal... And I received little to no support from my boyfriend at the time, but would have a mental breakdown every time I tried to break up. After dating for a total of almost 2 years, we broke up. Despite this, I don't resent him at all. We were young and it was both our first relationship. We grew so much from it. I wouldn't be who I am today without him, and he would say the same. I've received closure and I wouldn't trade that experience for anything. We're still good friends. Nevertheless, the trauma of being alone through the darkest time of my life is still there. It's been years and I still can't fall out of self-preserving patterns of self sabotage. It mostly affects my romantic relationships. All the ones I've had since my first boyfriend, in fact. I'd always try to "quit while I'm ahead" to keep them from hurting me, or vice versa. I'd drop everything at the first sign of things not working out. I've been dating my current boyfriend since the start of 2019. He has the most beautiful heart. He's caring and empathetic and funny and passionate and smart and selfless and genuine. He's my best friend. He's stuck by me through my many depressive seasons and countless self-sabotaging episodes. We've taken breaks to see other people or work on ourselves since then, but we always came back to each other. I really could not ask for someone more supportive. I've improved a lot over the years, but self-sabotaging tendencies have started emerging again with my recent depressive episode and the nearing of the HSC. Whenever he chooses studies over me, I feel I'm a hindrance to his goals. When he chooses me over studies, I worry that he's sacrificing his grades out of worry for me. He's trying to balance both, and would do so effortlessly if I wasn't so problematic. I've started to distance myself from him, a common self-sabotaging reaction of mine. I'm afraid this dynamic will continue into uni, especially since he's planning on studying a pretty strenuous degree. I don't want to be a liability. I don't want to ruin things again. We've talked about this. He's as supportive and reassuring as usual, and we've thought of some strategies together. But I want to try harder, because I know it's a me problem. Suggestions? Tips + tricks? #Epic life hacks?

Deltius Assumptions causing trouble
  • replies: 6

Hello again, I posted a while ago about not achieving dreams but I come with a different issue. Anyone had problems with making assumptions that tend to be wrong and cause far more issues, normally negative in nature. For example, a friend normally h... View more

Hello again, I posted a while ago about not achieving dreams but I come with a different issue. Anyone had problems with making assumptions that tend to be wrong and cause far more issues, normally negative in nature. For example, a friend normally has snap map on and I can not longer see her on snap, my brain naturally goes "well clearly she just turned it off for you specifically" but in reality, it is something like her location might just be off on her phone. To be clear, I have no reason to think why she would turn of GPS for me but my brain instantly goes there. This is a major issue I am trying to solve, I am blessed with being self-aware but it doesn't make getting rid of the issue any easier it seems. The reason for needing to fix this is it has caused and is causing friendships to be lost and reputations destroyed. Any tips are appreciated.

MoodedOut Does anyone have any advice on how to fulfill social needs without a partner?
  • replies: 2

21 year old male here, recently graduated university and working full time in the land down under. I would say I am a social person who desires frequent close contact with close friends. I don't have a girlfriend, as mentioned in the title so, it is ... View more

21 year old male here, recently graduated university and working full time in the land down under. I would say I am a social person who desires frequent close contact with close friends. I don't have a girlfriend, as mentioned in the title so, it is a bit difficult. For some background, I do have 1 or 2 close friends near me but I probably only hang out with them once or twice every two weeks (they are still in university). I have a need to socialise more than that (probably 2-3 times a week), even though I do appreciate my time spent with them. Recently, I've had an idea to do zoom calls with friends who live further away from me, who would otherwise be impractical to hang out regularly due to the distance. Even though it's not irl, I reasoned it's still a good complement to hanging out with my regular friends irl. Still need to test this idea out though. The issue is, sometimes there's periods where noone is available and I get really lonely and depressed. It used to really affect me, but I've recently been taking depression medication, so it isn't such a big deal now. However, it still does affect me in some capacity. Does anyone have any idea on how to deal with the feeling of being lonely/depressed when no-one is around? I find if I don't deal with it directly, I enter into some pretty unhealthy coping mechanisms such as drowning myself out with TV. Any help is appreciated.

Angela2021 Parents comparing me to others
  • replies: 2

I'm new here and glad I found this forum. My parents, (I come from a typical Asian household hahah) they compare me to other people my age or older. They've always been doing that my whole life and idk never talked to anyone about it because I can't ... View more

I'm new here and glad I found this forum. My parents, (I come from a typical Asian household hahah) they compare me to other people my age or older. They've always been doing that my whole life and idk never talked to anyone about it because I can't seem to say it out loud. I feel so ashamed of being myself, they rarely acknowledge my achievements only my failures and mishaps - it's gotten to the point that I'm never satisfied about my achievements and I know in the back of my head that it's wrong. I am currently living with them, can't move out. I'm 18 and just entered uni. I've never seen a therapist because my parents don't approve of them and my friends aren't the type to talk with me about this problem. I've asked God many times to help relieve me of this pain but I guess they have also turned their backs on me... I feel so lonely. Really, I do. I don't even know what to ask on this forum other than, has anyone gone through this before and how did they overcome this? Ofc there isn't a fixed solution in life, but I feel like talking to others in similar situations may help me feel less lonelier I guess. Thank you, this is my first time doing something like this so it feels a bit weird

Jessie_w Help?
  • replies: 5

Hi I'm Jesse. Im 11, and I don't think I'll even make it past 12. I have so much stress on me, and there is so much to worry about all the time. No one Understands how I'm feeling. Whenever I try to talk about my feelings with someone, they either la... View more

Hi I'm Jesse. Im 11, and I don't think I'll even make it past 12. I have so much stress on me, and there is so much to worry about all the time. No one Understands how I'm feeling. Whenever I try to talk about my feelings with someone, they either laugh at me, say I'm faking, or say it's not a big deal. I think I'm gonna give up soon. Also, sometimes randomly, when I'm having a serious conversation, I accidentally think about my teacher, or parent, or friend, or anyone having sex, or getting hurt. So to stop thinking about it, I think about someone else, but it backfires, an now I'm thinking about even worse things happening to them. Oh no! What if they can read my mind, and they know that I'm thinking inappropriate thoughts about them! stop thinking about it, or I'll get in trouble! also, "I think I'm depressed! Nah nevermind. I'm faking, I just think I'm depressed, so when someone reads my mind, they also think I'm depressed. No that's stupid! People can't read minds! I need mental help. No I just thought that so when they read my mind, they will believe me, and give me attention." And that cycle of thoughts keeps repeating, like reverse reverse reverse reverse phycology.

isabellen very lucky but never happy?
  • replies: 6

I’ve got a lot of good things going on, I got moved up to the top of the state youth activity group I’m in, my friends are always so nice to me and I have nice parents and family as well, I’m able to pass tests with an A or B without studying, but I ... View more

I’ve got a lot of good things going on, I got moved up to the top of the state youth activity group I’m in, my friends are always so nice to me and I have nice parents and family as well, I’m able to pass tests with an A or B without studying, but I often find myself very miserable and feeling very lonely despite my friends im not diagnosed with depression, I’ve never even been to a psychologist, I just think it could possibly be this. I cant really think of a good cause for any of this. My gran passed away about 1-2 months ago and while we knew she didn’t have too much longer I was upset at first, but since the first day I haven’t felt anything and I feel guilty for that, she lives on the other side of the globe and that’s probably why. I don’t think it has too much to do with it though. I can only else think of maybe the amount of assignments that I’ve had homework in the last week, maybe my lack of concentration in the last few months, particularly the fact I often feel lonely - my other friends either have a reasonable social life and they’ve had a boyfriend or whatnot, or theyre introverted and fine being alone, I’ve got a fairly sizeable social life and I often recognise people in the street but I haven’t found anyone who really seems to care about me much. This also makes me feel like maybe I have a bad personality or I’m ugly kind of a rant, there’s more about my friends and the loneliness but I don’t want to drag this on, I rlly don’t know what to say

abb90909 I feel like I'm being completely shut out by my friends
  • replies: 1

In high school my friend group didn't really like me, and I don't know why. They were mean and hardly ever invited me to hang out and such. I struggled a lot with mental health issues in high school so it really hit my self-esteem badly. I'm now 22 y... View more

In high school my friend group didn't really like me, and I don't know why. They were mean and hardly ever invited me to hang out and such. I struggled a lot with mental health issues in high school so it really hit my self-esteem badly. I'm now 22 years old. I thought I had a new friendship group and I didn't have to worry about pathetic high school drama anymore. I have a university degree and I'm currently in the middle of my second one, so I figured I'd involve myself around more mature people. And my friendship group has been good for the past 3-4 years, however, over the past month I've noticed it's changed a bit. It started when I fell out of a close friendship with a girl I had known since around year 9. Lately she has been very self-absorbed and doesn't really bring much to our friendship anymore so we have slowly been drifting away. It hurts, absolutely, but she was very toxic. Still, I don't hate her or anything and if she was with us when hanging out with our other friends I wouldn't care at all. My other friends seem to be a lot closer with her now, and all of a sudden they've been going out doing things together that we all would usually do. I feel as though the friend I've drifted away from is almost like the 'ring leader'. I hate putting it like that, but it's almost like if she doesn't like someone or doesn't like doing something then all her friends can't like that person or can't do that thing. I had plans to have dinner and see a movie with one of the other girls the other week but she said she was sick and couldn't go anymore (she told me this the night before our plans), and yet the next day she was out in town with the other friends going to lunch and hanging out. One of them was even sending me snapchats of them all hanging out?? I sent one of the girls a message asking if I have done anything wrong and now she's just ignoring me because she's been active on every other platform apart from facebook. I've come to realise that when we did all hang out, I'd only be invited if I organised something. I just feel really lonely, like I'm almost 23 years old and going through this stupid high school stuff again. I'm not good at making friends, and I really have no one now apart from my boyfriend. I've been friends with one of the other girls for 2 years, the other 5 years, and I feel like they really just don't even care about me or our friendship. I'm finding this is taking a toll on my mental health.

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