Young people

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Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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Am I in the wrong for this?

replies: 6

This is my first ever forum post and I'm not great at expressing situations so forgive me if it sounds like i'm being dramatic! So i have this online friend, lets call him Brad, who goes to one of my irl friend's schools. I've known him for about a year and recently he created an instagram groupchat with two of my school friends and I. Last night he asked a pretty random question, "Is anyone here a furry?". Now I myself am not a furry nor do I have anything against them, but I was well aware of how he felt towards them. My other two friends responded no as well and one of them asked "why?". Brad responds with "they are a mistake in our society, a plague". This is where the argument kicked off and he got a lot more violent from this point on. He continued to express why he hates them (which consisted of mostly extreme exaggerations and 'facts' that had no statistics). My friend and I provided points to try and get him to reconsider his view and stop being so aggressive, he constantly ignored them by saying 'they made no sense' (he's done this in multiple other arguments in the past as well) and sent multiple anti-furry memes (pretty harsh ones, at that) despite the subject of our conversation. His arguments were extremely violent and were making everyone uncomfortable. He admitted that his views were extremely harmful but claimed it didn't matter because it was "his opinion". I understand people are entitled to their opinion, but only when they can actually argue for it, which he definitely couldn't. The conversation quickly moved from that topic and went to the subject of accepting that not everyone has the same interests, but he quickly assumed the same closed-minded opinions that he had before. He acts like he's all noble because they're 'his views' and he 'stands for them'. He said he wouldn't change them, and I see this as willingly being stubborn and closed-minded. We never insulted him, but he insulted us. Brad later left the server and blocked both me and my friends. Despite blocking me, he went to discord this morning and sent me a whole paragraph, yet again insulting me, swearing at me, and comparing me to his ex gf and her friends. He ended up blaming the argument on me for 'finally figuring out that he was a negative person'. I responded to him, he said ok and blocked me. I've been thinking and now i'm wondering if i'm actually in the wrong??

Bi Muslim with a drug habit, toxicish friends

replies: 2

Hi this is my (21 M) first forum post so idk if I’ve already broken any rules with the spicy title but it true and I’ve got a list now so I’ll take it one by one bi- tbh I don’t even know what I am (definitely lean closer to gay) and I’ve been told that’s okay but like it’s still annoying not being straight because everything would be so much easier but hey that’s life and I’ve kinda learnt to deal with this thing and just decided that if I can’t find a girl who I can love for real for real I’ll just stay single out of family/community requirements and that’s okay for now Muslim - I’ll start by saying I’m not a great Muslim i don’t pray I drink I smoke I lie and I have gay hookups BUT I love my religion so much the love compassion and power built into it combined with the knowledge and energy I receive from it from it is unparalleled religion has always been a path back to stasis for whenever I feel overwhelmed however it is hard being gay and Muslim as those paths have zero space for overlap drug habit- I smoke weed socially on a daily basis and have done for the past 2 years It started after I received a undeserved fail on a uni subject and developed into an escape from reality. I have subsequently failed my last 3 semesters as I spend most of my spare time smoking with my friends. I see weed as a double edged sword on one hand it helps me escape a lot of the anxiety of my sexuality which is so very nice however this escape becomes too comfortable and it takes away from my productivity and self improvement toxicish friends- while I consider myself an introvert I have been told the opposite by enough people to know better. I have a decent amount of friends from all walks of life however they’re not all as accessible or entertaining as my oldest friends from my private Muslim high school who I see and smoke with on a daily basis and while I genuinely love and care for these boys as my own brothers I know that they’re not great for my mental health as I’m being called gay slurs “as banter” however I know these boys care about me as long as they think I’m straight. And when we’re all chill and happy together I feel at home with them. However there was an incident where I was recently accidentally outed to one of the boys by a mutual friend who I’ve come out too this spread the news to the whole group and caused strife however I was ‘tested’ and reconvinced them of my ‘straightness’ after a ‘spontaneous’ brothel trip, this is where I lost my virginity...

Parents are too strict and won't listen to me

replies: 2

Hi everyone, just a little context; I'm 15 and I'm the oldest sibling of 3, and I live with my mum and her partner (not my dad). I'm just finishing yr 10 and plan on going to uni which I'm working towards rn aswell. My mum and her partner are really harsh on the kids in my family, and I feel like especially me. She is always setting rules and boundaries that I think are completely out of line and are really unreasonable. It's too much for me to handle and I don't know what to do because they just take everything away from me because they think it's the right thing to do. I already get my devices taken off of me every night after dinner, even if I have homework or an assignment to finish and they often confiscate them for days at a time. I'm not allowed to talk to my friends most of the time and most nights I end up crying in my room because they get angry and say really mean stuff to me (e.g. make points regarding me being a failure, eating disorders, fat shaming, cussing at me etc.), and I don't have anyone to talk to. They keep on insisting that I am a horrible kid and need to be grounded all of the time. I am a really good student and work hard all the time, and I also participate in activities outside of school that all important and they have stopped me going to them too. So far they have written a 3 page "contract" that has a bunch of really unfair rules and made me sign it (if I didn't then I wouldn't be allowed my phone or see any of my friends outside of school ever). They recently grounded me for a month and won't tell me why, and also took my bedroom door off it hinges because "they haven't got anything else to take but my privacy". They've given me a long list of things to do so I can get my door put back on but I'm struggling and I don't believe that any of this is the right thing to do. I've tried talking to them before about how I think their rules are too strict and unrealistic but they keep ignoring me and won't respect my opinion. They also plan on getting a family control app which gives them access to everything on my phone and I dont know what to do because I feel kind of violated by the way they keep taking away my freedom and privacy. And im not trying to make excuses but I am definitely not the worst behaved kid, and I do not think that I deserve the punishment they've given me. I'm so done with all the crap they dish out and I don't want to be feeling hurt or violated by my own family or crying all the time. Any help? Thanks

Worried about my future career options

replies: 1

I'm almost 22, currently in my second year going on to my third next and final year next year in a bachelor of communication advertising university degree. Trying to pick my classes for next year I have had many doubts this year on my overall course. I worry a lot about the jobs out there available in advertising, specifically where they are available. As I live a bit more inland and in the country side, it feels as if all the advertising roles are available outside of Melbourne and other large cities. My boyfriend and I don't tend to like the city and would prefer to live out of it, I have considered the possibility of living closer to the city but outside of the city, but housing prices seem so high where I have been looking. I worry that I will get nothing out of the bachelor and that I should have done a tafe course that will give me a specific qualification or skill that is more needed in the job market such as an engineer or a electrician. So many people tell me that I shouldn't worry about it because the job market is hard in any area and I just need to give it a go, but I just can't help worrying that what I'm doing is a waste of time. I really don't mind where I end up working, wither that's in administration or sales, all I want is a stable job that has the possibility of working up overtime to earn a higher salary, that has a base salary of around or over 50k a year. I have considered talking to someone and seeing if my university offers career counselling advice, but I feel like I don't have a clear career in mind for them to help me get into, they may not know what to tell me. Has anyone been through this or have any advice for me? I just want to be able to feel like I have some sort of a plan or multiple plans as a safety net, and I hate feeling like my current course is a waste of time, especially when they always emphasize the importance or networking and how so many people just say that its who you know that gets you into a job a lot of the time.

Feeling lost with life

replies: 1

Hi, I suppose I am looking for some guidance. For the last 9 years i have felt like i have lost myself. Long story short, I developed an eating disorder when i was very very young. During this time I lost my best friend. We use to do everything together, always hang out on weekends etc.. Although sometimes, she wasn't exactly what others would call a best friend as she would often verbally abuse me and just be plain nasty i.e. tell me i couldn't hang with other people, force me to eat servings after servings of cake because i was skinnier than her and she wanted to make me fat, make me roll in mud etc. After our fallout, I moved schools within the same town and couldn't make friends, so i decided to focus on school and my grades, even on weekends i would spend the day doing homework. Consequently, with the lack of social interaction i developed social anxiety. I then moved towns and again schools, this time i became friendly with a group of people but i still didn't consider any as true friends as we would never hang out aside from school and i would always felt left out and couldn't relate. Again, i also focused on my grades and struggled to talk to people. At both new schools, people would often laugh at me and say things behind my back, things like that i was the devil or that i would just come home and stare at a wall all day. By my last year in high school i was truly recovered from my eating disorder and once I finished school and got my first proper job, it only lasted a month because my boss would verbally abuse me. So i spend my gap year staying inside the house. I then moved 600 km away from my family into the city to start university, hoping to start fresh, be a new person, and make friends. A year later, I changed degree as I was unsatisfied into a new degree that i still feel unsatisfied with but I'm still sticking with it. My plan to start fresh hasn't been going well, i can't make friends no matter how hard I try, nothing interest me anymore, I just sit at home in a house i rent by myself all day doing university work and just feel like I don't have a life. I've always felt that I was destined to do something great, but now I don't believe in this. My younger brother often tells me that no offense the last person he would want to be is me because i don't have a life. I feel like I've never been the same since developing the eating disorder, like I've missed a big part of my life and that everyone is getting somewhere in life except me.

services or organizations to help with practical problems

replies: 2

Hi there, Are there any services or organizations that would be able to help with the below.... I want to find a tutor re find out what I don't know or help create revision plan from previous uni studies because of gaps in time in study. A parent tried to help me with it and talked with someone and they said they would get back to us after a certain day... and didn't Also in initial stages with other people re text and they said have a meeting to discuss it even though I stated I don't know where to start (in initial contact) My psychologist hasn't been any help in the matter. So I'm wondering if there's anyone out there who has psychological training with education who could help me what to write or say so I don't come across as distressed.

struggling with social anxiety post-lockdown

replies: 2

I'm from victoria and over the past few weeks, restrictions have been easing more and more. We're now able to see more people and there are less limits to what we can do and where we can go, which is great and i've been looking forward to this for months! But I feel like I'm still in lockdown. I haven't been going out very much. It's not because of fear of covid, it's more so due to anxiety about being out in public and socialising. I do have anxiety but previously have never really experienced social anxiety too badly.I love going out and socialising. But after how many months of lockdown, I feel so anxious about being seen, worried about saying something stupid or whatever. It doesn't really help that a couple days ago when I was at the shops with my mum and my brother's girlfriend, a strange middle aged guy approached me and asked for some of my hair and was complimenting my hair as he stroked my hair. It was very uncomfortable. As a young woman I have experienced uncomfortable and unwanted male attention before, but until now I had never experienced someone getting in my personal space like that. I'm 18 and I want to be going out and having fun but after that incident I feel more anxious about going out. I'm less anxious about going to my friends house, but when it comes to going to the shops or going to a restaurant, I can't get myself to do it. I feel miserable that after months of isolating, I'm still kinda isolating myself. I want to be able to go out and enjoy life. Recently I've also been feeling insecure and anxious about not being good enough (not being a good enough friend, not being good enough for the guy i like to like me back, etc). I was so excited about lockdown ending, I'm so confused where all this anxiety came from!

I really want to make friends with a strange person but I am not brave to say this...is there anything can help me??

replies: 5

I do not know if it is suitable to send my experience and worries in this column or in this forum, but I really do not know what to do in the future of this terrible time. I am a student but I really want some extra care for some reason. From this year I accidentally learned about a strange person in his own blog, which is a teacher. I was moved and attracted by what he said and what he did. I also thought of what I experienced during my middle school time during his contents. I am so happy that I really want to make friends with him -- but I am not so brave to give him some greetings or contact with him, because I am afraid that my content will make him angry or no replies -- because sometimes emails can not get any replies in his own country(He is not Australian). With the help of the counselor, I still wrote something to the teacher with email, but so far there is no replies from him. In fact I am a little disappointed but there is no doubt that he may not use the emails. I have thought of use other applications, but I do not want to disturb him -- this may be the private social applications like WhatsApp. However these days for some reason I think that my life is so terrible(if necessary I will post a new thread but that is not the main thing of this) and the heart of "missing" him is the only desire for me. And I found that I really need him to get some warm care to have power doing something because my mood has affected my daily life, and that may be my final chance to do it. But I am really not brave to do this thing. I do nit know what I should do for this about him -- contact him or not. I really like him but I really have no way to get in touch with him better. Maybe I have other things to say, but I can not say something in this. If I can say some other things, I will add it.

poor mental health symptoms are confusing me

replies: 4

on and off i've had periods of low mental health but recently for the past couple weeks its been the worst its ever been. I've felt emotionally numb and empty and detached. All my energy has been drained and i've been so tired, weak and fatigued. My muscles have been aching and i've been crying for no reason. I've also had the feeling that bugs are crawling on me, feeling like the room is slowly spinning or im rocking back and forth but am being still and that the world is moving in slow motion. Also i had one day where it looked like the walls in my room were moving and have been zoning out to the point where people have been concerned about me and i've booked a doctors appointment. However suddenly i'm feeling fine and im just really confused because i feel like my mental health is just an ongoing cycle of good and bad ranging from days to weeks and i've already seen a doctor a couple months before and they just said that everyone goes through ups and downs however my symptoms were quite full on and i'm worried next time my mental health goes bad again it will be worse and i just am so confused what is happening just because it says that illnesses such as depression are an ongoing thing and that they don't take breaks.

I feel really lonely and really want some friends

replies: 19

Hi, I have so much to say but I just don't know where to start let's just say it has been really hard recently, life has never felt so meaningless I miss being happy I am trying really hard to pull through. I have felt really distant from my friends this past year I kind of don't even know if they are my friends anymore I really want to make some new genuine friends, highschool is hard enough but being in high school and having no friends is just really taking a toll on me. I don't know how to make new friends, not going to lie none of the people at my school really get me I don't know some of them are nice I just get a feeling they don't care about me like they wouldn't care if I was gone. I have many likes and hobbies and wish I would be able to bond with people over them so if anyone has any tips it would be greatly appreciated! Also having high anxiety definitely doesn't help meeting new people lol

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

Am I in the wrong for this? replies: 6

Bi Muslim with a drug habit, toxicish friends replies: 2

Parents are too strict and won't listen to me replies: 2

Worried about my future career options replies: 1

Feeling lost with life replies: 1

services or organizations to help with practical problems replies: 2

struggling with social anxiety post-lockdown replies: 2

I really want to make friends with a strange person but I am not brave to say this...is there anything can help me?? replies: 5

poor mental health symptoms are confusing me replies: 4

I feel really lonely and really want some friends replies: 19