Young people

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Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies

replies: 51

Hi! Just thought I’d make a post with some tips for study. I know this is something we can all struggle with. These are all suggestions so feel free to take them or leave them! Hope they help! If you only remember one thing, let it be this: You are important. Your grades don’t define you. (support) Studying can feel isolating but know you’re not alone! Reach out – and find or make friends that can support you along the way. If you’re having trouble finding some friends, join some local communities or clubs! They have lots at Uni’s and even stuff like open days are great ways to meet new people and find out what’s happening. Study groups can also be a great way to meet people and stay motivated. Also remind yourself why you’re doing this; inspirational wallpapers or quotes can be super inspiring. Remember the saying about the oxygen mask? If you can’t take care of yourself first studying will be harder. You are important. You know the drill - water, food, exercise, sleep. Try to stay calm. Stuff that might be able to help include mindfulness, breathing exercises, colouring in, going for walks, journaling, listening to music… If you’re struggling – reach out. See a therapist. Talk to your student counsellor. If you need help, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Also lots of Universities and TAFE offer disability services – which includes conditions like Depression and Anxiety. (study) Find the right study space for you. Maybe that’s in your room, or a coffee shop, or the library. Some people find that noise helps; other people not so much. If you like particular kinds of noise, you can find ‘coffee shop’ noise or ‘rain sounds’ to help concentrate. Make a plan. It helps to do it often so it becomes a habit. Anytime you get a due date, write it down. Maybe you could use a diary, planner, bullet journal or an app. I find the 30/30 App helpful - study for a bit and then break for a bit. You can also get add-on’s for your computer to block sites like Facebook if you find them too distracting. Find out what study technique works for you. Do you like cue cards? Mind maps? Colour coding? Does highlighting stuff help you remember? Charts, maps, diagrams? Recorded lectures? Goals! These are so important – not just writing down deadlines but rewarding yourself for meeting them. Even making smaller goals like ‘read two pages from a textbook’ can help. Break it down into bite size pieces, and don’t forget to reward yourself after!

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first

replies: 0

The Young People space is a sub-forum within the wider Beyond Blue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide members aged 25 and under a space to discuss anxiety, depression and other related life issues. If you are aged over 25, please be mindful that this forum is a space for younger people to connect and provide peer support for each other. 2. Content from this sub-forum is displayed on both the beyondblue and youthbeyondblue websites. 3. Please bear in mind that some members find content relating to suicide and/or self-harm distressing or triggering. If you would like to post on these topics, please do so in our Suicidal Thoughts and Self Harm section. Please see also our guidelines for making posts on this topic. Posts made here in the Young People sub-forum containing content relating to suicide and/or self-harm will be moved. 4. These forums are moderated, so your posts may not appear straightaway. Information on how our system works can be found here. Being familiar with our community rules can help ensure that your posts appear online as quickly as possible. 5. This is a peer support community, and to get the best out of being here we recommend that you 'give support to receive support'. More on how that works here.

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Fitting In

replies: 6

Hi all, Something that has been on my mind during my teenage years and early adulthood is the notion that I do not 'fit in'. I like who I am but I am so afraid that other people will not like me that I don't show my true self and struggle to open up. I feel like I am living a completely different life than what I should be living right now, like everybody else has been given a memo on how to live their early 20s but I never received it. I don't like to drink or party, I am not constantly hanging out or talking to my friends nor do I sleep around and I still live at home; however these all seem like such important things to people my age. With New Years Eve on the horizon, I keep telling myself I am a loser for not having a big group of friends to go out partying with and drinking. Whereas in reality, I'd much rather stay home with my family and watch the fireworks on TV but I am telling myself people will judge me poorly for not going out. It's funny because I don't necessarily know who these people are, however I often feel there is a collective group of people my age judging me for not being anything like them yet I don't know who they are. The few friends I have accept me for who I am, but as a whole I feel like I don't fit in with my peers. I am wondering if anybody else feels like they do not fit in and hoping somebody else will share their story. Thanks

Christmas depression

replies: 1

I recently had a big fall out with my step mother. When I was staying at my dads house I became really sick and my mum came over because my dad and stepmom were at work, ultimately I ended up in hospital. Later that night I got back to their house and my dad told me that my stepmom wouldn't come out and say hello (or check to see how I was...) because she was angry that my mum had been into their house for 5 minutes before driving me to hospital (keep in mind that my stepmom had been over to my mums house many times, swam in our pool etc) even though it was my only option as they had both left for work and left me home alone even though they knew i was having trouble breathing. I later heard an argument between my dad and stepmom where she called my mum some awful names (this is because of her own insecurities and because she hates that my dads family really loves my mum) but I was so disgusted by what I heard that I just left the house and made my dad drive me to my mums. I hadnt spoken to my stepmom until a couple of months before Christmas, she did apologise but that incident was really hard for me to forgive because my mum is so lovely, and even when I told her about the nasty things my stepmom said, she told me to try to be understanding of how my stepmom is feeling, and still has never said a bad word about her. This brings me to the reason i am writing this post. We had christmas lunch today with all of my stepmoms family, who I havent seen since the incident. we all gathered for presents, and all of the children must have gotten 10 presents each from grandparents, uncles and cousins, and my sister and I sat there the entire time and got one small present from my dad and step mum. It isn't the presents/ monetary value that upsets me, but what it represents. My dad and stepmom clearly spent a lot more money on my 'cousins' presents than for their own kids, and my 'grandparents' bought presents for 8/10 grandchildren, excluding me and my sister. it was honestly heartbreaking and humiliating to sit there and watch everyone open these presents and have such a great time, but feel so unwanted and not part of the family. This is a huge difference compared to the last 6 christmases we have spent with my stepmoms family where my sister and I received the same amount of presents as each of the other kids. It worries me that my stepmum has twisted the story and made her family hate me and my sister. and the fact that my dad never said anything really hurt.

Is it normal to worry about a quiet mind?

replies: 2

Normally I have a noisy mind; usually I have music or stray thoughts buzzing in my head all day, not annoying most of the time more comforting. The times when my mind is quiet though is worrying, any thoughts I do end up having in the foreground of my mind end up dissolving into thing like 'Do my co-workers just put up with me?' or 'Would anyone even notice if I go missing? maybe my family would but would it bother them?'. That last thought is one that I've had a couple times and I know that it's not true but when my mind is quiet my thoughts always come back to that question and as such I now worry when ever my mind goes quiet. Is this worry normal? or am i making a mountain out of a mole hill? Please, I couldn't find anything conversations about instances like this. Thank you, Horatia

kinda lonely looking for advice?

replies: 2

Hi, Recently I've felt that I've tried my best to gain a number of opportunities, but haven't achieved a single one. On the other hand, many of my friends have achieved these opportunities and I guess I'm feeling a bit lonely and left out? Sometimes I feel kind of isolated from them, because they're all off talking about something I can't be involved in and I'm kind of just sitting on the sidelines. I feel like I'm just there, not really saying anything, not really doing anything. Then when they've left because of their obligations, I'm afraid to reach out to new people, I'm afraid of being rejected by others to the point that I kind of prefer isolating myself first. Is it bad that I feel sorry for myself? Should I be happy for them and striving to improve myself rather than agonising over what I haven't got? I'm not really looking for consolations or anything, but I'd really appreciate if maybe someone out there has been in the same situation and has some advice to give. Thanks

Restrained from your dreams by doubts

replies: 1

Hi all, I am 21, still young I know, but I have this growing fear that I am wasting my life by not doing the things I want to do. Or rather, I have little idea about how to make these things happen and sometimes I consider just leaving my life completely and going to join some hippy commune away from everything. I have a declining social reach as I am quite introverted and many people or old friends don't have time to invest in me so I get forgotten about, I want to start a band but have no connections to like-minded individuals, I have been in a long term relationship and I am beginning to feel trapped in that I want to live a single life again through fears of not meeting more people (but I don't want to ruin a good friendship either), and I want to leave Adelaide to find a more meaningful life purpose but don't know if that's realistic or where to go. I just feel weighted down by my lack of social life and my fear of breaking away from conformity to be free. hope I'm not speaking in tongues and someone can offer their similar situational adivce. Thanks

overwhelmed with new job and moving out of home

replies: 1

So at the start of this year I moved out of home and am now living 6hr away. I am currently living by myself. I had moved to start a new job and career after finishing uni. I really struggled at the start. I just felt so overwhelmed. I struggled to balance my new job, all of the household chores, finding new friends and looking after myself. I had never felt more alone. I would cry myself to sleep every night and wasn't getting much sleep I just wanted to give up and move back home. I felt too embarrassed to talk to anyone about it at the time. I thought if I said anything out loud I would be a failure. It started to effect me at work and my boss had noticed and a few co-workers. I was offered support but I said that I didn't need it. Then COVID happened and I started to feel even more alone and isolated. Then I met a boy and got into a relationship and thing were really good for a little while. He has introduced me to his friends and I was apart of their social circle. I had someone I could count on and who would be there for me. He had really helped support me when I couldn't travel home to see my family during lockdown. I felt like I was getting a grip on life. Anyway it slowly become apparent that he had some drug/alcohol and gambling problems but did not want to get any help. We stared to fight and we have had some very big fights recently and have broken up. Which was probably for the best Now I feel like I am back to square one. In a new town so far away from anyone I know and all alone. I just miss my mum so much but i'm too embarrassed to tell her. I just want to move back home so badly but I will be such a failure for it. My work has been very busy and I have made a few big mistakes recently. But I do really enjoy my work when I have a reasonable workload for the day and alot my co-workers are feeling the same way (union has been involved for some time). I'm really just feeling so lost right now. I've wasted a whole year and haven't achieved anything.

"I'm fine, just feeling a little tired" - A Liar

replies: 4

Hi... it's me. It feels like everytime my mom or my best friend ask me if I'm alright or if something is wrong, I just respond with "It's nothing. I'm fine, just feeling a little tired."... I'm tired of being 'tired' all the time. Everytime I say 'tired' it seems to mean so much more than sleepy - it means mentally and emotionally exhausted, it means I need to cry until my head hurts, it means I feel really depressed, it means I'm developing bad anxiety, it means I feel lonely despite your love and attention, it means when I compare me to myself I always fall short and I want to know when that started and how I can stop feeling that way. Nothing is 'fine' anymore. Or maybe everything is fine and I'm just craving something to be more than 'fine' and I want something to be great. I'm not really sure what I want to achieve by posting this, whether it's sympathy, anecdotes of similar experiences or advice, I just wanted to vent slightly about how much I hate the word 'fine'. Thanks for reading I guess... I hope you will interact with this post but if you don't, I guess that's also 'fine'.

Always feel embarassed/ashamed of how I act at school

replies: 3

hi all, So lately I've always been feeling ashamed of how I act at school, more specifically stuff like overly putting myself down (which seems to annoy my classmates, who are all lovely people) and acting kinda stuck up and nerdy, but in a REALLY annoying and snotty way. It may sound weird that I'm observing this stuff but have not solved the problem already. You see, at school, I feel as though all of my actions are under a microscope, being looked at by both my peers and myself. I think I crack under the pressure of that mindset and I don't think about what I say/do when I'm around my peers. After school, I over-analyse my actions that day and cringe at what I've done, and start to freak out about how my classmates would view me. I fear that I've already created a crappy impression of myself to them, so they'll always see me as that cringy, annoying, stuck-up girl. Also, it seems that my classmates have kinda created an image for me, as a really nerdy, studious, "know-it-all" girl, and honestly I feel like I've moulded myself to fit that (at least during the time I'm at school, I seem to align myself with that "persona"). I also feel like at school I act way too dramatic, loud and over the top, and although I find myself funny, I know I annoy the crap out of my peers. At school, I act and talk somewhat impulsively and I just know that my classmates would talk about it with each other (they're all very observant, and I've been in conversations where they analyse other people's actions really closely, so it wouldn't be that unrealistic for them to be talking like that about me). This makes me kinda feel like an outcast, and I almost feel like I'm slipping down a mountain and can't grab on, because I constantly lose control of my actions. At times like these, I feel like isolating myself completely from my friends so I have no chance of embarrassing myself, but my psychologist (who I don't very often, and I have talked to on this issue but I would still like another perspective on it) has told me that this is a bad idea, which is fair, and she said that I should work harder to be close to + hang out with them all! I know that it's possible to control them and be more controlled in general, but I need some advice on it. Deep down I dream (ahah this sounds so cringy) of one day being like some of the year 12 girls at my school. They're graceful, kind, and calm, and although they're not perfect they just seem so in control of themselves and their image!

Should I seek another diagnosis?

replies: 4

Short and simple: I fear I might have ADHD. Maybe fear isn't the right word. I fear that me thinking I have ADHD is conceited. To clarify, I was diagnosed with depression. Can't say what it is exactly, since I don't remember. It was a while ago, more than a year at this point, and I haven't seen a 'professional' for more than half a year. While I'm sure asking for advice here isn't... great, well. I want to. Here's a lil rundown of my stupidity. I am currently facing three wonderful assignments. Two are exams, one is a proper project (that I can't even begin to unpack, I don't understand it and no one seems to be willing to actually help) So obviously, I come home and say that I'll work. Cue me looking at the clock, having done absolutely nothing, and its time to sleep. I can't even think straight typing this. I want to stop already and play a game or something. Same goes for things in class. I either stare at my screen blankly, or I stick my face into my phone trying to hide it. It's awful. I never get work done, and it becomes extra awful if someone I know is sitting with me because then they become my point to bounce from. I can't tell if it's the depression on its own, a possible anxiety disorder (I say possible, but I know for a fact that the intensity and frequency ain't normal) or if I really may have ADHD. As a side note, I only got diagnosed so recently because my family was sceptical of my struggles and I tried hiding it from them. Tl;dr, I suspect that my inability to focus or work may stem from more than just depression. Is it worth seeking out another diagnosis, or should I just chalk it up to depression?

Being the disappointment of the family

replies: 4

Hey guys, I'm Tyrone (as you can see from my username), the last few days I've been feeling a hard wave of disappointment. I feel like I've embarrassed my parents for too long now, at this point I don't know what to do, since family came back from overseas - they've been a real tight arse on me, I'm no longer entitled to make my own decisions no more, no longer allowed to see friends, no longer allowed to socialise. I try my best not be so hard on myself, to show my siblings that I can continue walking on my own two feet, but I'm tired and it hurts trying to maintain a peaceful mind when the whole world has felt like it's turned against me. This year has taken a toll on me, I lost all my friends because someone spread rumours about me cheating on my ex girlfriend. Knowing that those things unfolded, I had people in my church confront me on stuff I didn't do; I ended up swallowing the hard pill and take the lie because I didn't want my ex to be part of all that stuff, she went through enough hearing those things from other people. A few months after all the incidents happened, I would cry myself to sleep because I couldn't stand the pain no more. I've always been one to watch out for those people, but as soon as I needed them - they all turned against me, family and friends. I kinda wish the pain and suffering would stop, I'm really tired fighting to be a better person when all these things are still on my back.

Eeep! When study is overwhelming! - Tips, ideas and coping strategies replies: 51

NEW TO THIS FORUM? Please read this first replies: 0

Fitting In replies: 6

Christmas depression replies: 1

Is it normal to worry about a quiet mind? replies: 2

kinda lonely looking for advice? replies: 2

Restrained from your dreams by doubts replies: 1

overwhelmed with new job and moving out of home replies: 1

"I'm fine, just feeling a little tired" - A Liar replies: 4

Always feel embarassed/ashamed of how I act at school replies: 3

Should I seek another diagnosis? replies: 4

Being the disappointment of the family replies: 4